|TOUCH|

Back to the library. Back to where I started. That's my last happy memory? That lake? How terrible the end of my life must have been...

"You can't think like that, Harley." Josiah said quietly. I could feel his eyes on me, looking into my thoughts. I can't allow him to see my face; I don't want him to see the pain it holds.

"Get out of my head." I said coldly. My words were muffled from the tears. My body rocked back and forth to calm myself; to distract myself from the nightmare I've become.

"Please, talk to me. We can figure this out..." He tried.

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, trying to rid them of the stinging tears. "I don't know if I want to..." I said.

Josiah was quiet, like he wasn't there anymore. Maybe he was trying to get me to unravel from my ball. Do I even care if he's still there?

I peeked out over my elbow. He was there. His face was in his hands, staring at the floor between his legs. I think I saw a tear fall from his cheek.

I sat up. Josiah never cries, or shows any emotion for that matter. This must be serious.

"Josiah?" I said in a low voice.

He didn't respond, but he did scoot close to me. His hand was around mine in seconds. The warmth of it traveled throughout my body.

"Harley, if we don't continue this journey, then it's all over." His gaze was still on the floor, but his body was even closer to mine.

"Over?" I asked carefully. I think I already know what he means.

"Over as in you leave here, and you go somewhere really bad." His words choked off at the end. I could hear them falling to the carpet with his tears.

He looked up to my face suddenly, making me jump slightly. "Harley, I don't want you to go. I want you to stay with me so I can help you figure this out. I know it's hard, I know it hurts, but you have to be strong. You are strong. We can do this, together. I'll protect you, I promise. They're just memories from the past, you can move past them... You have to move past them.."

I don't know what bad place he was talking about, but if it has him so upset, then it must be terrible. I don't want to go there, but I also don't want to relive my bad memories.

"I don't know what to do, Josiah..."

"You do know what to do... It's what you have to do. If we don't continue on, then you have to go to the dark place, you don't really have a choice." It hurt him to say that to me, I could tell, but I could also tell he was trying to protect me.

I have to trust Josiah, it's apparently my only choice. "Okay." I said finally. "Let's keep going."

A slight smile painted his face, but it was quickly wiped away. "Do you still want to skip to the important parts?" He asked carefully.

I want to be done with all this faster, but I also want it to be as painless as possible... Then again, it's going to hurt no matter what apparently. "I would like to skip ahead." I said.

He didn't say anything after that, he just took my hands in his.

We were on a couch in a room I recognized from such a long time ago. It was a room I went in while I was in the spirit world. I thought that was the first time I had seen it... We were in Larson's old house, the one with the blood stained kitchen floor...

I immediately regretted my decision to skip ahead. I'm not ready for this, I know what happened here. My memories have led up to this the entire time, I missed it, again.

"Josiah, I can't do this." I whispered as if someone would hear me. "Please don't make me."

He pulled me into his chest, comforting me. "I know it's hard, but there are things you don't know about that night, you need to see them. You have to know the truth."

I took in his scent, which instantly calmed me. "I'm so scared."

"Don't be, it's going to be okay, I'm here with you. I am your protector."

I'm not sure why that makes it better, but somehow it does.

I took in a few deep breaths, trying to focus on the memory. The quicker I see whatever I need to, the faster it will be over. "Okay, what's happening that I need to see?" I said nervously.

"It's eight o'clock. Baylor was at T-ball practice, but no one was there to pick him up... The coach called your father. Your mother was supposed to be there, your father knows something is wrong."

"What is wrong?" I asked. I know I don't want to hear the answer.

"Follow me." Josiah said.

He led me through the out of date living room, and into the kitchen.
The vase full of roses my dad bought for my mom was perched in the center of the table. Each once brightly colored flower hung loosely and dull over the glass edge.

The blood stains were not on the floor, but I didn't count that as a good thing because that just means it hasn't happened, yet.

"Where's my mom and Harley?" I asked.

He pointed to the bathroom door just around the corner that led to my parents room. The door was closed, but the light was on, shining through the cracks.

I'm not sure how I missed this before. I was just in here a few memories ago, but I didn't recognize this terrible place.

"Should I go in there?" I asked cautiously.

Josiah's face morphed into a mixture of fear and sadness, but he recovered immediately. "I could tell you what's happening, but it would be more helpful for you to see it yourself. We can come out whenever you want."

I took Josiah's hand, and we walked through the door. The bathroom was also very familiar, although Larson didn't show it to me. I saw it in one of my first memories; the one with my mother singing to me while washing my hair.

In fact, I think this is that exact memory.

My mother was on her knees in front of the tub. The water was running powerfully, nearly running over.

Harley was sitting in the floor playing with a yellow rubber duck. She wore a tiny red dress, and her dark curls hung loosely from her head.

My mother cut off the water, and turned to Harley, picking her up from the floor. She placed her in the water in the same motion, not bothering to remove her clothing.

"Mommy, you're getting my dress wet." Harley said, confused.

My mother didn't acknowledge her words. She took the duck from Harley and threw it in the floor. Her face was blank; she seemed to be in another world entirely.

Suddenly she shoved Harley down in the water. I gasped, clinging to Josiah tightly. I took us both out of the bathroom.

"Where's my dad?!" I screamed at Josiah. My heart was beating out of my chest. I could hardly think straight. "What is she doing?!"

I collapsed into the floor in a shaking heap listening to the screams from the bathroom. Josiah was by my side in seconds, both arms around me.

"He's pulling up in the driveway now." Josiah said. Lights were suddenly visible on the living room wall, then a slamming door echoed through the dark house.

The screams were quieted. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

The front door swung open violently and my father's voice echoed through the house. "Anna! Harley!" His heavy footsteps led him to his bedroom searching for his wife.

The door to the bathroom crept open slowly. The light was cut off, I guess not to draw attention. My mother and Harley quietly stepped out, stalking through the kitchen.

One of my mother's hands was on Harley mouth, and the other found a knife on the counter. She made her way toward the living room, stopping in the middle of the kitchen next to the table. "David! I know you're in here! Come out!"

Harley was trying to break free, but my mom had a tight grip on her.

"I told you I didn't want kids! You're right, I am sick! I want to leave and I want my kids with me." She looked through the entrance to the living room carefully. "After I slit her throat, I'm slitting mine too. You don't deserve to keep these kids!"

My father's figure suddenly appeared from the hallway. His wooden bat dangled from his right hand. He inched closer and closer to my mother. She didn't seem to notice his presence behind her.

I tucked my face into Josiah's chest. I can't watch this part. He held me tighter and for a second, I forgot where I was. Until of course I heard the crack, followed by screams and the sound of broken glass.

I looked up now. Dead roses were scattered among the broken vase. One had landed inches from me.

Tiny feet pitter pattered over to where we sat. Harley joined me and Josiah in the dark corner of the cabinets. Her dress and hair still dripped water and her eyes were wide with fright. She curled into a tiny ball, much similar to my go to position.

"Anna?!" My dad screamed to the figure on the floor. He shook her body slightly. "Anna wake up!" She didn't stir. He checked for a pulse.

Next, he scrambled for his phone.

"He's calling the police." Josiah informed me.

He must have gotten someone because he began to speak again. "I killed my wife." He said in a low voice. It sounded more like a croak from the sobs he was holding back. "I said my wife is dead. I hit her."

After that, he told them the address and hung up.

His phone clicked on again, to make a second phonecall. Perhaps the last one he will ever make.

"Dad?" He asked. "It's me, David. Listen, something bad happened."

He cupped his hand around his eyes, and took a deep breath. "I killed her dad. I accidentally killed Anna." His words began to break with more sobs. "She threatened Harley, I didn't know what else to do, I panicked. I-I didn't mean to hit her so hard.."

He took another break to gather himself, using his sleeves as tissues to wipe away the tears. "I need you to take the twins, please dad. They can't be split up."

He listened intently to his father's answer. It was a positive one because my father's face lit up ever so slightly. "Thank you... Baylor is at his coaches house right now." He looked over to our dark corner. "Harley's here." Those last words unleashed the tears all over again.

"I love you dad. I don't know when I'll see you again, but I want you to know that. Tell mom I love her too." Then the phone was in the floor.

He made a slight move toward Harley, but she cringed into an even tighter ball.

He didn't attempt to move any closer. "Harley, I'm sorry sweety. I'm so sorry. I didn't want this to happen, I tried so hard to protect you all. I failed you, I know that.
I love you kids so much. Can you please let Baylor know I love him too?"

Harley didn't respond, she only stared at him with horror stricken eyes.

My father collapsed to the floor. His shoulders shook wildly as he let his emotions loose.

He didn't stop until the sirens broke the night air.