university!au

"In the acceptance stage of his crush, Iwaizumi bites the bullet and confesses."

━━━━━

Ever since that Friday evening when he'd come home to find you splayed out on the floor in a weeping puddle, Iwaizumi skipped the—you checked the calendar on your phone—five following Friday Movie Nights.

For the first two, he'd made excuses about being sick but had refused to let you take care of him, directly locking himself away. For the other three, he hadn't even bothered coming back home. Leaving for university with a duffel bag on those mornings, he'd spent the entire weekends away, only showing up again on Sunday nights.

Lying on the couch, gaze fixed on the clock on the TV stand, you wondered if he'd make it six this evening. As you tried not to jump to any conclusions, the past few weeks reeled behind your eyes, and with each replay, you picked up one of the many odd signs that had been sprinkled here and there.

With hindsight, in addition to skipping your movie rendezvous, he'd dropped a few more of the habits you'd seamlessly established throughout your cohabitation. Your interactions during weekdays had shrunk as well, with Iwaizumi always on the run, barely sparing time to either greet you before disappearing into his bedroom or bid you goodbye before storming out of the door.

As the realizations crashed on you one after the other, you found yourself racking your brain over what could've possibly made his demeanor shift so substantially.

You couldn't pinpoint anything in particular that you had done or said that could warrant such aversion. Having lived together for over a year now, you were both aware of what ticked the other off and were mindful not to cross any delicate boundaries. But the onset of it all came back to mind easily.

Was he disappointed because you'd admitted that you cared about your classmates not liking you?

Iwaizumi was self-confident and grounded, did not care what others thought of him, nor did he aim to please anyone. But he couldn't expect you to be the same, right? Everyone's wired differently. What is easy and trivial to someone is a big deal to another.

With a shake of your head, you scratched the thought. Iwaizumi was understanding and not judgemental. There was no way he'd alienate himself from you because of such absurdity. Hell, all the friends you'd ever made in your old university had been through him because he knew how much you struggled with making new ones on your own.

Patience soon ran thin, and with the danger of your overthinking drowning you, you grabbed your phone to text him. You didn't care where he was, if he were busy or not, you'd demand that he came home right away so you could sort things out.

Shortly after you hit send, though, the front door unlocked, and Iwaizumi walked in with his duffel bag slung over his shoulder. It took you no longer than a heartbeat to be rooted before him, flashing him your warmest smile.

"I just texted you."

"Yeah, I was in the lobby when I got it. Is everything okay?"

You nodded as you searched his tired features, the bags under his eyes the most pronounced you'd ever seen them. "Are you okay, though?"

With a hum he kicked his shoes aside, gaze meeting yours briefly before drifting away again. Not making much of the fluster wafting out of him in waves, you were above all just glad that he was there. You missed him a lot.

As you bounced on the balls of your feet, impatiently awaiting his next move, Iwaizumi gestured to the entrance you were blocking. "Are you gonna let me..."

"Right, sorry." You clumsily stepped aside and as he trudged past you, followed close behind him. "Are you in for tonight?"

His sigh gave him away before his answer could even come, and you were instantly reminded of the conversation you wanted to have with him. So, before he could shut himself away again, you spoke up, "It's okay if you aren't, but I need to talk to you."

Stopping by his doorway, he turned to you and with a hand rubbing the back of his neck and eyes on something far in the distance behind you, replied, "Actually... so do I."

"Great, I'll be in the living room."

As soon as you were gone, Iwaizumi dropped his bag on the floor, rummaged inside his drawers for a fresh set of clothes, and slunk into the shower. With the burning streams hitting his face came a flood of apprehensions. In reality, he was only there because Mattsun had kicked him out of his dorm, asking him to man up and confront you instead of turning tail like a coward week after week.

This pattern he'd set as of late wasn't the best way to deal with this conundrum—he knew. But so was confessing. There was simply so much at stake, so much he wasn't ready to lose or spoil, and the notion of it all going downhill frightened him.

He'd always cared about you. As a friend and as someone he could confide in and rely on. But it wasn't till that night that he'd realized that he liked you more than just that.

Naturally, denial had been his first response. He'd tried to convince himself that his brain was simply toying with him. However, when every subsequent interaction and encounter—be it when you got out of your room in the morning with your bedhead, when you stepped out of the shower all cocooned in towels, when you left the apartment all dolled up, or when you lazed around in the lounge in your cute pajama sets—had either left him with a racing heart, knots in his stomach, or sometimes painful hard-ons, he understood that his mind wasn't playing games on him.

He did like you. And though your situation was ideal—you already lived together and trusted and knew each other very well—the many what-ifs every design gave rise to had been far too overpowering.

With a slap on his cheeks, Iwaizumi shook himself awake. Mattsun was right—since when had he become such a wimp? He was not Shittykawa. He would get out there, lay it all out, and go from there. Worrying when all he had were baseless assumptions was futile and exhausting.

Once all dried up, Iwaizumi donned his clothes and with a towel around his neck, joined you. You perked up the moment you spotted him, and though it was likely not because you returned his feelings—that was how you'd always been—it warmed his cheeks nonetheless.

Making room for him, you shadowed keenly as Iwaizumi took his usual seat. As tempted as you were to scoot closer and feed off of his warmth, you checked yourself and gave him space. You also allowed him the first word, and surely enough, mere moments after, he inquired about what you had wanted to talk about.

Crossing your legs and spinning to face him, you didn't beat around the bush and directly blurted, "You've been acting weird lately."

He didn't look your way despite the small pause you took to see if he would refute your claim. But despite being clumsy and impulsive, he knew you were no idiot. Of course, you noticed he'd been out of sorts.

"And I want to know why. Whatever it was is no coincidence and has started after that Friday. I didn't notice at first because I was busy with classes and all, but it became clearer with time. And I need to know what is going on. Is it something I did?"

Anticipating his answer was like sitting on pins and needles, but when it finally came, you realized that actually sitting on pins and needles would've been much easier. You were not sure you'd heard him correctly and tilted your head in confusion.

"I like you," he reiterated, still staring ahead.

Mouth hung ajar, a few moments of deliberation passed before you jokingly said, "I like you too."

The sigh he let out as he ran a hand over his face told you you ought to take this more seriously—though you were only deflecting because deep down you knew just how serious this was. Iwaizumi wasn't one to bring up such topics frivolously.

"I know, but I like like you."

You could barely make out what he said next from the deafening heartbeats resounding in your ears. Unsure what to answer, or if answering was the best course of action at all, you whispered, "I don't know what to say."

"It's okay. I'm not expecting anything from you and am not after anything either. I just had to tell you because unless I get it off my chest, I'll keep unconsciously avoiding and hurting you, and I hate that."

A nod and a meek word of thanks were all you could manage as you tucked your knees under your chin, gaze still glued to the floor, head spinning with a myriad of worries and heart fluttering in a way you never thought Iwaizumi, of all people, could be the reason behind.

The tension grew heavier the more minutes ticked, and the hefty silence was only broken when Iwaizumi apologized for having to skip yet another of your movie nights. This time, you were more grateful than anything else and with a splutter of awkward reassurances, watched as he slunk to grab some snacks from the kitchen before retreating to his room.

You followed suit once you had gathered your wits, and the rest of that night, though separately, was spent the same for you both—tossing and turning with little success in getting some sleep.