43: Country Roads
After we dropped all of our stuff off at my apartment just off of campus, we headed back to the city for the ice cream cake I was promised.
I loved Paradise City, but grass was much more soothing than poop-stained rocks.
We wandered down a familiar road, and when I saw the sign Bar Harbor Rocks and Botany, I knew exactly where we were.
"Oh, Logan, look. That's the cute little shop where I got Blue and Racecar." I pointed out the building and tugged on his hand. "Can we go in? Please?"
He smiled. "You don't even have to ask."
We headed into the shop, and the wooden floor greeted us with a loud creak. Much of the selection was picked over, thanks to crazed tourists and vacation season, but I didn't want anything from the store. Just the building itself meant a lot to me. There wasn't much left to browse, but I let Logan go in his own direction as I looked at the different whale fossils.
There were fossilized teeth, bones, and plants, as well as other types of rocks and gems, which was all anyone needed for a good time.
I wandered back to the exit, and I looked over at the cash register, where the cashier handed a small bag over to Logan.
"What did you buy?" I asked.
"Just a souvenir for Racecar. I want the little guy to remember me when I'm not there," Logan said.
I smiled. He was cute, even if he didn't think there was anything to like about him.
"You should probably just keep some of your stuff at my place. For the children, not you and me," I replied.
He laughed. "The children, Blue and Racecar? There's something wrong with you. I don't even know what's going on in your head most of the time."
We headed out the door, and the warm August air smacked us right in the face. Ice cream cake had to be our next priority, since redheads and heat didn't usually mix.
I smiled anyway. "Neither do I."
A common misconception was that people like me thought we knew everything, and it simply wasn't true. I didn't know a thing besides that I wanted to be happy, and that was with whales and Logan.
After we bought the cake, we sat down in the grass, which I supposed was something that I missed about the regular human world. There wasn't any grass on the island, and now that it was available, I loved the way it cushioned the ground beneath me.
Maybe I could survive another year of classes before the next chapter of my whale-studying career. After all, I had somehow managed to live before it. Still, it didn't make leaving my old life behind once again any easier. It sucked.
But no matter what, no one could take the Paradise City feeling away from me. I just had to adapt to my new environment.
"How are you doing, Rea?" Logan finally asked.
Of course, he expected me to answer with a mouth full of ice cream cake, so I just nodded. It froze my teeth, but hopefully he would get the point.
I'd be okay. Eventually.
"Just think of it as a stepping stone to the next phase of life. At least you've got somewhere that you're going," Logan said.
I nodded.
I wasn't sure why he was expecting a conversation from me. I was really feeling the ice cream cake.
He smiled, then went back to his share of the cake.
He just got me. I couldn't explain it at all, but he was pretty much the only person who accepted me for the child of the ocean that I was. Even with my salt-damaged hair and permanent bags under my eyes from late nights of curiosity and work, he still cared.
I was afraid that it'd be only a Paradise City romance, but this was realer than man-made climate change.
"Well, just stick with me. We'll figure something out for you too. Even if we're not as inseparable as we had to be on the island, we'll make it work," I said.
I meant it, too. Situations changed throughout time, but so did life. And that was what made the world such a beautiful place, even if it wasn't always perfect.
Although the grass was well watered with the constant drizzles of Maine, it poked the back of my legs, and I shifted to let it breathe, even though I knew it wouldn't really help anyone besides me. The ocean breeze cooled the coast, and the smell of salt took my mind right back to where I belonged.
Paradise City.
But I was fortunate to have my second favorite part of the island experience sitting right next to me, and I was pretty sure that he was okay with losing to whales in that regard.
He looked up at me. "What?"
"Nothing. This is just really good ice cream cake. It was worth waiting for," I said.
He smiled and shook his head. "When are you gonna stop being afraid of hurting me? I don't have any feelings, Rea."
I blinked a couple times. "Why would you think that?"
"You don't like hurting anyone. But you're smart enough to not repeat your mistakes, and so am I, so you can leave that fear back on the island, okay?"
Huh.
I certainly wasn't the easiest person to get to know, but I wasn't afraid of him getting too close to me. No way. Even if I was stupid enough to ruin every other positive relationship I ever had, only to barely fix them to a fraction of what they used to be.
Or maybe I was secretly afraid.
I took in a breath.
When did he become an expert on me? Probably in the months we had spent together nonstop, for better or for worse.
"You know how you were telling me that there are times when you just know something's right?" Logan asked.
I nodded and set my plate down on the ground next to me. "Vaguely, yes, given that it's the policy that dictates my life."
And there I went again.
"Hey, shut up. I'm trying to say words here," Logan said, and I rose my hands in surrender.
"Sorry, sorry. I'll try to not do that."
"Yeah." He laid back into the grass, and I copied him. We looked up to the sky together, and a couple clouds floated across the otherwise clear blue sky.
"Is this what normal couples do?" I asked.
It was a little weird referring to us as a couple where someone else could hear, but I liked the freedom. We could finally just be us.
"Honestly, Rea, I don't think we'll ever be normal, but who gives a shit?"
I nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I'm done giving shits."
Logan chuckled. "I don't think that's good for you."
I looked over at him and laughed. "I drink too much coffee to ever stop giving shits."
"Oh my god. I can't believe you're the mother of my Venus fly trap child."
"You started it. This is your fault," I said.
"Okay, okay. It's my fault." He paused for a second. "Can I get back to what I was saying earlier?"
I nodded.
"Okay, so you know how you told me that there are times when you just know that something is right for you? You just kind of feel it," he said.
This time, I only replied with, "yes."
"I don't know if it's just me, but I guess that's kind of what happened with you and me. Unless you don't feel it. Then never mind," Logan said.
I rolled my eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. I definitely feel the same way. I think we've established that at this point."
A small, relieved smile rose on his face. "I know. It's just nice to hear you say it when you're not trapped on an island with me for an entire summer."
As a gull landed on the ground next to us and waddled to our leftover melting cake, I held out my hand. "No, sweetie, that's not for you."
Logan nodded. "Yeah, fuck off. Can't you see we're in the middle of a conversation?"
"I don't want it to get sick. Hey, don't eat that." I swatted in its general direction, and it took back off to the sky.
But before I could lay back down in the grass, Logan grabbed both of my hands, and my heart rate sped up as I met his gaze.
"Is, uh, is everything okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, yeah." He looked down at the grass below us. "You and me, it just feels right. And it was a nice coincidence that we both ended up at Paradise City at the same time, but the way we work together isn't a fluke. It's gotta be fate, don't you think?"
I wasn't exactly one to believe in fate or destiny, but I nodded anyway and hoped he wouldn't feel my hands getting sweaty in the summer heat. "I guess so."
"And I'm fucking this entire thing up, but if there's anyone on the planet who's human enough to not care, it's you."
I rose my eyebrows. "Are you—?"
"Look at the genius who finally caught on. If the whole world thinks we're rushing, then let them." He fished around in the bag from Bar Harbor Rocks and Botany and held out a box to me. "It's not the whole traditional diamond ring thing, but I think this fits you a lot more."
Inside was a necklace in the shape of a whale's tail fluke, and I covered my mouth with my hand.
"It's made from fossilized whale vertebra, so I guess it just holds the essence of life that you always have, and it's what I love most about you. So, Reagan Winebrenner, will you—"
"You lied to me," I said. "That's not a souvenir for Racecar."
"Is that seriously what you're concerned about right now?" Logan asked.
I nodded, and all the tears I managed to keep inside as we left the island began to collect in my eyes. "Yes."
"I'm literally asking you to marry me, and you're concerned—" Logan began, but I interrupted.
"No, that's not what I meant. Yes, I will marry you. I guess I fucked this whole thing up too."
Logan smiled, but before he could even reply, I kept us from ruining the moment any further, and I placed my hands on his face and kissed him like everything had just gone perfectly.
I rushed into a lot of things in life, and maybe this one just another one of those, but my heart had never steered me wrong before.
No, we weren't rushing. We had gotten to know the rawest forms of each other, the ones that we tried to keep to ourselves.
After all, what could be purer than a Paradise City love?
"My dad's going to be so upset with me when I tell him this," I said as Logan fastened the necklace on me.
"I don't know, Rea, I just think he'll be happy that he's the first to know."
I smiled, although a couple tears found their way down my face.
When I signed up for Paradise City, there were a few expectations I had in mind, like any other human would. But I never thought that I'd find everything I had ever wanted there. That island in the middle of the Atlantic wasn't for everyone, but for anyone willing to understand that it wasn't just a place, but a feeling, it held a magic (or a yet-to-be-explained scientific phenomenon) that could never be taken away.
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