"Writing a book is an adventure." Winston Churchill

Only the noise of a fork chasing a blueberry could be heard on A-Yuan's plate, as Wei Ying pondered Lan Zhan's question.

Was he happy?

Was he?

Out of everything Lan Zhan could have asked him, that wasn't at all on the list of his guesses.

And if Wei Ying thought about it honestly, he wasn't sure. From rising in the morning, looking after A-Yuan's day, meals, prep, going to and from school, then his own job of writing; all of that took too much time from him to even contemplate thinking about himself. From one breath to the next, Wei Ying was constantly on the move, too involved in the present to give any attention to how he might be feeling...and then the truth was, he couldn't afford to think about it. That would be wasting valuable time.

"I don't know." He admitted.

Lan Zhan was shocked.

If anybody had asked him the same question, he might have said yes...before.

He had been happy, if happiness meant contentment, being satisfied with his lot in life. He was happy to go to the Institute, happy to sort out books, happy to play on his guqin. His life had minimal contact with anybody else, and he was happy with that.

Before.

Now?

Now, he wasn't sure.

Now there was something missing in his life and he was pretty sure it had something to do with the beautiful man sitting right in front of him...and his little Radish. It was looking up at him now, those big chocolate eyes questioning.

And Lan Zhan had not realised it, but he had held his breath, waiting for Wei Ying's answer, hoping for an affirmative, that yes, he was happy. The alternative didn't bear thinking about...but now he was confused and felt sorry for asking such a question in the first place.

Wei Ying didn't look happy, especially now, just tired, and maybe that was an indication of how he was feeling about his life.

"Baba upset?" A-Yuan tugging on his sleeve had Wei Ying plastering a smile on his own face and picking him up to plant noisy kisses on his cheeks.

Through their back and forth, Lan Zhan watched them both more carefully, taking note of the tightness behind Wei Ying's smile, and his bottomless pit of kindness, wanting A-Yuan to be happy, first and foremost.

As for the child, it didn't seem to know that it's father was faking it, pretending to be happy for solely it's benefit. Chortles and giggles erupted as Wei Ying did his best to make the child forget.

But Lan Zhan was worried that Wei Ying was doing that for himself too. Maybe he was avoiding thinking about his own life...and that made Lan Zhan feel sad.

This beautiful man should be happy, always...not just because he was beautiful, but because he was good and kind.

In these three days of Lan Zhan knowing him, he had the opinion that Wei Ying was an exceptional young man.

Lan Zhan stood up suddenly.

Wei Ying threw him a questioning glance.

"Just coming." Lan Zhan told him, disappearing towards the bathroom area.

When he returned, Wei Ying was putting A-Yuan's coat on for him.

"Checkwist, Baba?" A-Yuan was saying.

"Okay, Sweetie, let's do it." Wei Ying swung him up into his arms.

"Coats?" They both said together, giggling as they each touched the other's garment. "Keys?" Wei Ying patted his backside, which made Lan Zhan's ears red, and then, "money!" They both laughed and turned to look at Lan Zhan.

He had a soft look in his golden eyes.

Wei Ying blushed and manoeuvred himself out of the booth.

"Let's go pay." Wei Ying was saying.

"No need." Lan Zhan replied, guiding them out before Wei Ying could make a fuss.

"But Lan Zhan! You didn't...? That's...that's really nice of you, but we wanted to pay. You already drove us to school and back!" He was still speaking as Lan Zhan opened his car and took A-Yuan from him, fixing his seat belt securely.

He didn't bother replying. As far as he was concerned, the matter was dealt with and over.

But once he got behind the wheel, he realised he didn't actually know where Wei Ying lived. And, Wei Ying was still talking...

"Honestly, Lan Zhan, it's really too-"

Lan Zhan put his hand on Wei Ying's mouth.

His brain only caught up minutes later, as he looked into captivating silver eyes, wide with surprise, and Lan Zhan could feel hot, wet lips against his cooler fingers...just this feeling alone was making him burn up from the inside out.

Now what?

It was like picking up a snake by it's mouth: Lan Zhan couldn't let go, but he sure as heck couldn't stay in this position! His trousers were already uncomfortable and getting tighter, the longer he felt that hot, sweet breath.

"Where does Wei Ying live?" He bit out, annoyed with himself.

"Two blocks away." Wei Ying told him the exact address, tasting sandalwood.

Lan Zhan snatched his hand away, impossibly turned on by the silky slide of hot lips against his skin. His own breath was coming out in sharp pieces, his throat hurting from trying not to be affected.

But it was so hard...and not just the effort.

Wei Ying was blushing redder than a ripe tomato, and he busied himself by putting on his seat belt.

The ride to their home was silent, tension stretched thick and heavy between them.

"That one..." Wei Ying pointed to a house with a green lawn in front and a border full of pretty flowers nearly in full bloom.

Lan Zhan liked it immediately. He parked outside the house with the red door.

"Beautiful Gege, come inside!" A-Yuan grabbed his hand the moment his seat belt was released, and pulled Lan Zhan towards their house.

Wei Ying was surprised to see his enthusiasm and the fact that A-Yuan clearly trusted Lan Zhan already, in the way children had open hearts...and he tried not to tear up at the simple beauty of his innocence. He grabbed his backpack and closed the door of Lan Zhan's car so it could be locked from where they were standing and fished out his keys.

Wei Ying was so glad he had cleaned up before he left that morning! Who knew his humble home would be hosting a God by the evening? He was still reeling from that unexpected touch by Lan Zhan, getting hot and bothered all over again, remember how those golden eyes had smouldered when Wei Ying was forced to speak...and that delectable scent...it was driving him wild. Sandalwood was his new favourite smell, Wei Ying decided, sliding past the two people on his doorstep and opening the door.

Lan Zhan was immensely curious about where Wei Ying lived. In fact, anything that let him learn more about this beautiful man was a win-win, and he followed A-Yuan into the house, his lips already turned up by his comical situation: A-Yuan was at least three times shorter than himself and yet, was pulling him along easily.

"Baba? Can I show Beautiful Gege my room?" A-Yuan wanted to know.

Wei Ying was in the utility room, unloading a basket of dried clothes from the machine. He looked up and grinned at the picture in the doorway of an extremely hot man and the cutest kid...

"Does Beautiful Gege have time?"

Lan Zhan looked down at the tug on his hand...A-Yuan's hand was so soft, and so small, it was completely dwarved by his much larger one...and Lan Zhan was totally not prepared for the protective feelings that suddenly swamped him.

A-Yuan's night chocolate eyes were staring at him owlishly, hoping he'd say yes, and Lan Zhan wanted to say yes.

So he nodded, just a tilt of his head.

A-Yuan squealed with delight and yanked him around to take him upstairs.

Wei Ying dealt with the clothes and all the while, he wondered how to express his thanks...until he hit upon a great idea...

Upstairs in A-Yuan's bedroom, the little guy was not above using his cuteness for something he wanted. He was currently sitting in Lan Zhan's lap, and together, they were reading a storybook about dinosaurs.

Lan Zhan didn't quite know how he had ended up reading out loud, and his ears were red from remembering how great Wei Ying had performed this very act a few days ago at the Institute, and actually how hard it was to do different voices...so he concentrated on trying to keep his voice even above everything else.

It didn't seem to matter to it; A-Yuan was staring at his face enraptured, giving him his full and complete attention as Lan Zhan read and pointed at the surprisingly well-illustrated pictures, pointing out details.

When Wei Ying climbed up the stairs to the suspiciously quiet room, he heard Lan Zhan's lovely deep voice enunciating familiar words, and A-Yuan's chortling laugh, a sign that he was having a great time.

But Wei Ying wasn't ready to face the picture of cuteness personified when he saw them sitting on the floor next to A-Yuan's bed, his son looking so comfortable in Lan Zhan's lap, looking up at him in wonder as Lan Zhan read to him.

A-Yuan sniffed and then shouted, "yay! Cookies and milkshake!"

Wei Ying had prepared two mugs of hot chocolate with marshmallows already melting on the top, and a glass of chocolate milk for his baby, with a plate of chocolate cookies. There was still a few hours to go before bedtime, and he hoped the sugar rush would wear off.

They made space for him and all three of them sat around the tray of goodies.

"Thank you, Baba!" Little A-Yuan said, biting into a cookie.

"Better grab them quick, or there'll be none left..." Wei Ying told Lan Zhan, because the latter had not stopped staring at him since he had entered the room.

Lan Zhan felt the warmth of his ears and did as he was told, folding his lips over heaven, because these were no simple cookies.

Wei Ying snickered at the look on his face.

"My Shijie made them. No one is immune from her quadruple chocolate cookies...no one!" He took one himself, moaning with pleasure as the sweetness exploded on his tongue.

Lan Zhan was just glad there was a book on his lap...

But when he took a sip of the beverage...he had to close his eyes to savour every sensation. The richness of the chocolate, the way it slid down his throat, and then the ensuing warmth that spread from his chest through his entire body, and the sweet aftertaste...it was better than anything he had ever drunk.

Wei Ying was watching his face, absorbing every nuance, while helping A-Yuan drink from his glass. A knowing look of understanding passed between himself and his son...

"What is this?" Lan Zhan whispered after a while.

"Special hot chocolate." A-Yuan supplied, giggling. "I love chocolate milk."

Lan Zhan had to agree.

"Have you never had it before, Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying wondered.

"We drink tea." Lan Zhan told him.

But they had surely been missing out! Why drink tea when...when something like this was available? Too soon, he was looking at the bottom of his mug, terribly disappointed. He drained every drop, startled out of his thoughts by Wei Ying's laughter.

"You look like someone just died."

Wei Ying giggled, and A-Yuan joined in, not really getting it, but then Wei Ying's laughter was infectious and Lan Zhan felt his own mouth turn up as a result.

"Would you like to finish mine?" Wei Ying handed him his mug. "It's too sweet for me."

Lan Zhan made sure he was telling the truth before accepting it. By now, A-Yuan had finished off all the cookies, and was lying in a heap on the carpet, eyes closed and splayed out, sugar crashing his system.

Wei Ying dolefully eyeing his state and sighing internally. It was going to be a long night...

Lan Zhan picked up the tray and went to go downstairs before Wei Ying took it from him.

"It's supposed to be a thank you for helping us today." He replied, smiling.

Lan Zhan followed him to the kitchen, pausing just outside. A tiny picture had caught his eye and he stared at the too-familiar work. Wei Ying glanced at him and grinned.

"I bet you're jealous now, huh? It's not every day you get to see a Hanguang-Jun original...am I right? I can only afford that size right now, but I have my eye on a few pieces I'd love to have. There's this one the artist has painted, of a waterfall high up in the mountains of Gusu...gosh, if that place is real, I'd sure like to visit one day." Wei Ying sighed dreamily, closing his eyes.

When he opened them, Lan Zhan was standing right in front of him.

That wonderful, intoxicating scent, part spice, part sweet, a heady combination that made him yearn....for what, Wei Ying didn't know, but it was reflected in those golden eyes.

Lan Zhan stepped forward, crowding Wei Ying, and Wei Ying could only stare back, unable to look away, caught by his intensity.

Lan Zhan could see his own hand come up and touch Wei Ying's face, to hold the side of his face, and then Wei Ying leaned into his touch, closing his eyes. Lan Zhan missed looking into those beautiful silver starlight orbs, but this was Wei Ying...and he was touching Wei Ying...right now.

He could smell the fragrance of lotus flowers and a sweetness that was purely Wei Ying, mixed with cocoa and Lan Zhan leaned in, ready for more-

"Is Baba upset?" A-Yuan said, his loud voice catching them unawares.

They jumped apart suddenly, both incredibly embarrassed.

"Have to go." Lan Zhan said quickly, turning to leave, but his leg was rather heavy.

He looked down to find A-Yuan had latched on with both hands and was looking up at him expectantly.

"Beautiful Gege, come here." A-Yuan stated firmly.

Lan Zhan was baffled, because he was "here" and what did it mean? So he looked at a still dazed Wei Ying, who smiled softly at him.

"He wants you to bend down." Wei Ying explained.

Lan Zhan did as he was told and was rewarded with a chocolate mouthed kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you Beautiful Gege." It said, smiling with its cute dimples.

Lan Zhan was quite stunned.

He took the wet wipe Wei Ying handed him, staring at it blankly until Wei Ying took pity on him and wiped his face gently.

"A-Yuan, A-Yuan...must wash your face before giving kithes...okay?" He told the little boy, who giggled in return.

"Okay, Baba. Can Beautiful Gege come tomorrow?"

Wei Ying was wiping the remainder of the chocolate off Lan Zhan's face when he heard the question, and it seemed to snap Lan Zhan out of his trance-like state.

Lan Zhan gripped his wrist firmly, holding him in place.

Again, Wei Ying was lost in the beauty of those amber irises, mesmerised by Lan Zhan's handsome looks.

"Would Beautiful Gege like to come tomorrow?" He whispered, feeling so hot as he said the words.

"Mn." Lan Zhan was just as captivated by those silver eyes, drowning in their depths.

Granite, smoke, and gunmetal flecks shone back at him, and suddenly Lan Zhan wanted to paint them again.

Right now.

They waved at him as he pulled out from their drive, and watching Wei Ying carrying A-Yuan on his hip with matching grins gave him a pang of regret...but he stored that away for examination later.

Right now, he had a yearning to grab a paintbrush....

*********

Wei Ying yawned again, and hoped that A-Yuan was also tired. Unfortunately, he had been wrong about the sugar, and A-Yuan was looking just as bright eyed as the morning.

"One more, one more!" He begged.

Wei Ying couldn't say no to that face, and he opened his bleary eyes to smile at A-Yuan.

"Alright, but my beautiful little Radish, this is absolutely, and really and truly, the last one...okay?"

A-Yuan nodded, beaming up at him.

They were cuddling on A-Yuan's bed, already habpving finished two stories, and Wei Ying didn't think he would make it through the third one successfully, but he had to try.

Luckily, A-Yuan was great at falling asleep and he closed his beautiful chocolate eyes soon after it ended.

Wei Ying dragged himself to his bed, changed and fell asleep straight away...only to be woken up a few hours later by loud crying.

He tumbled out of bed and raced into A-Yuan's bedroom to find his baby crying in his sleep.

"JingYi...JingYi...come back!" The poor distressed child wailed, seeing something that was happening elsewhere.

Wei Ying shook him gently, wanting to wake him up only enough to stop the nightmare...and it worked, thankfully. Wei Ying wiped his face softly and left, returning to his own bedroom minutes later.

But the interruption had disturbed his sleep and now he just lay there with his eyes closed and not sleeping.

He tossed and turned for a while, thinking about the previous day.

Like a soft, warm blanket, he was reminded of Lan Zhan sitting in A-Yuan's room, reading to him.

The sight was so sweet and soft, it made Wei Ying's heart melt with love. In fact, yesterday had been wonderful, from start to finish...and he knew the reason why...

It was nice to have company for once, too. It was nice to be sitting in a car and not have to be responsible all the time; for twenty minutes, letting someone else take control of the situation.

Wei Ying realised that ever since he had adopted A-Yuan, he had held himself taut, stretched tightly, ever ready to spring into action. If A-Yuan wanted anything, needed anything, he was there. So to have someone to lean on, even if it was for a little while, was such a relief.

This in no way suggested that Wei Ying did not like his role of being a father to A-Yuan, but more that he wasn't and hadn't given himself a break, not since they had begun to live together. Really, the opposite was true: he loved being A-Yuan's dad, he loved A-Yuan, period.

A-Yuan was a delight, such a beautiful child, and already Wei Ying was feeling guilty for having these thoughts...but he was so tired.

And he still had to make a start on writing the third book. A month from now, he had to submit his first two chapters just so his editor could get a feel for where the story was going...but right now, with hardly any sleep, it was looking like an insurmountable mountain...too far away and out of reach.

He sighed and turned over, praying for sleep to come and find him...

********

Lan Zhan went home and went straight to his studio upstairs.

He uncovered his original painting and knew that even though it was stunning already, there was so much he wanted to add...and then, it seemed a crime to touch this one.

He would have to start again.

Hours later, he stood back to survey his work. Two beautiful orbs of the lightest silver stared back at him, with purple accents, but molten gunmetal flecks, the bright light of curiosity shining back at him.

They were so vivid, so real, that Lan Zhan felt a little bit guilty. He remembered what his brother had said, about needing permission...needing permission from Wei Ying to continue....and this had him pausing.

Something about this piece...and the one before this was so private, Lan Zhan didn't want to share it with anyone, not even the source of his inspiration, his muse. Even he did not understand why this was the case, or why he felt so possessive of this...and Wei Ying...

He thought back to that priceless moment, in Wei Ying's kitchen where he had wanted to kiss that beautiful man so badly, it was a burning need. He had felt an anxiousness that if he didn't kiss him right then, it would be the gravest mistake of his life.

And for a moment, his same desire had been reflected back to him within those starlight eyes, a hunger and a need to want the same thing.

He thought he had finished, but now as he picked up his paintbrush once more, he knew he had to add that silver fire in Wei Ying's eyes.

When he finished, he covered the painting carefully and stepped out of his studio, relocking the door behind him. Up till now, Lan WangJi had not really cared about giving his brother access to his studio; so the door was widely left unlocked.

Today, Lan Zhan locked it on purpose and turned to see a covered tray and a note.

"Didi, I knocked but you didn't answer. Please eat well. Xiongzhang."

Now he did feel guilty.

He took the tray back to his room and set it on his little table. The truth was, he wasn't that hungry. The pancakes and the cookies and hot chocolate more than made up for his hunger and Lan Zhan could still taste the richness in his mouth...and he didn't want that to change.

Instead, he pulled out his notebook, the one he had started by making a list about A-Yuan and his father.

Had only three days gone by? He felt inexplicably close to Wei Ying already, and to it, and weirdly, Lan Zhan could not imagine not seeing them in some way. He was already looking forward to the next day when hopefully, he would be seeing Wei Ying again.

And A-Yuan.

He thought back to the little kid. A-Yuan's face was so trusting as he had looked up to him, his chocolate eyes full of innocence and friendship, so ready to share everything with Lan Zhan. When they had first entered A-Yuan's bedroom, A-Yuan had made him sit on the bed and then proceeded to show him all and every single toy he liked to play with. Too soon, Lan Zhan's lap was filled with toy dinosaurs and plushies, and A-Yuan was telling him each of their names proudly.

And then, as children's attention is always easily scattered, he had wanted a story, and then another, and another, and Lan Zhan had the distinct feeling he had been played by a three year old.

A-Yuan was far too smart for his age.

And maybe that had a lot to do with his father.

Wei Ying was doing commendably well, bringing up a child and providing for himself and his family.

Lan Zhan blushed, remembering the painting, the small miniature he had done on a whim once when Nie MingJue had been particularly whiny, and now he was ever so glad he had done it.

The proud way Wei Ying had told him that it was an original Hanguang-Jun...but that in turn, made him spectacularly happy, that his painting small though it was, had a place in Wei Ying's home, that it was cherished. And he knew exactly which painting Wei Ying had professed to want: the waterfall of Gusu.

One time, XiChen had taken him on a hike, and quite by accident, they had discovered a beautiful scene. Lan Zhan knew in that instance that he was going to recreate it, no questions asked. The way the sunlight hit the crystal clear waters, refracting into a rainbow of colours was simply magical and Lan Zhan knew it was something he would never forget.

And once he was over his obsession with a certain pair of eyes, he might even try to do that one again...just for Wei Ying.

XiChen had also said dating was like driving a car...he had to get behind the wheel, so to speak.

So really, it was a metaphor for settling into the right mindset, to want to actually pursue a relationship, much in the same way that getting behind the wheel implied a need to get to a certain destination.

That Lan Zhan was already in the driving seat said a lot.

So Lan Zhan made another list. He put a tick next to "Getting behind the wheel" and wrote underneath it, "check seat belts and mirrors".

Did wanting to kiss Wei Ying count? He thought it did, but he hadn't actually done that yet...so he moved on to the next thing.

"Check route, indicate, and pull out."

He blushed at the double meaning and hurriedly moved on, drawing a neat little checking box next to each one.

"Drive slow to begin with and then get faster."

His ears were on fire...

"Stay in Lane." That one seemed easy.

Lan Zhan had never felt like this about anyone before, and he knew without a single doubt, that he never would again. Wei Ying was it for him, and this actually made him happy.

Wei Ying was making him happy. A-Yuan being part of whatever this was, only made it better.

"Arrive at your destination."

Now that the thought of what he wanted was slightly clearer, Lan Zhan could say or at least if he could not define it, he had an idea of what he wanted. But he wasn't ready to think about it in greater detail, not yet and not so soon.

He had to get used to the idea that Wei Ying came with a ready made family, and he was surprised at his ready acceptance of this. A-Yuan was such a lovely child...and Lan Zhan did not mind him at all. In fact, he was leaning towards wanting to ask Wei Ying if he could share...Lan Zhan wanted more.

Now that he had a taste of being near him, talking to the child, eating with the child, even reading to it...he wanted to know what it was like first thing in the morning. What was it like? Did it wake up happy? Was it playful?

Already, he knew that Wei Ying's influence made fun a priority, and with the way both of them had been laughing when he had first come across them, A-Yuan was a happy kid.

And Lan Zhan wanted that. To be able to share with Wei Ying the responsibility of helping him to grow up into a good young adult...unbidden, the image of a grown-up A-Yuan waving to himself and Wei Ying, significantly older with greying hairs came to him then, with weather worn faces and slightly heavier bodies...and Lan Zhan... was happy.

It seemed so realistic...and he wanted that.

He referred to his list and sat down more comfortably on his bed, but something was poking his butt, and he shifted to pull out...The Handy Pocket Guide to Dating.

He was alone here, despite feeling guilty that he had unwittingly taken one of the books out of the library without actually checking it out. But he opened it anyway to the introduction.

It glossed over a few topics but Lan Zhan was more interested in what it had to say after a partner had been chosen, because in finding Wei Ying, Lan Zhan had escaped and by passed many of the first few steps.

He felt a shudder go through his body as he contemplated dating apps, and even he knew how wrong they could get it, but surely they weren't that bad, right?

No matter, he moved on quickly.

"Once you have mentally taken the initiative to engage with a person of your choosing, the next step lies in making them see how desirable you are. To successfully convince anyone how you would make a good match, your intended partner must be wooed."

Lan Zhan read that paragraph four times. Then he picked up his phone and did something he never thought he would: he Googled it.

This was...enlightening to a degree: Eight ways to attract and get a boy to like you:

▪︎ Using body language

▪︎ Play hard to get

▪︎ Be his personal cheerleader

▪︎ Ask for favours

▪︎ Massage his ego

▪︎ Find ways to take him out

▪︎ Be his gossip buddy

▪︎ Hit him up online

Well, then.

Out of all eight, Lan Zhan thought four of them were utterly ridiculous. But it definitely gave him lots to think about.

He didn't quite understand the body language part, and he didn't see the point of playing hard to get, especially when he had come to a strong decision by himself, besides, it felt like playing games, and Lan Zhan did not feel his situation warranted that kind of dishonesty.

But he could definitely be Wei Ying's cheerleader.

He thought back to Wei Ying's home, and that he had seen the pretty front garden...did Wei Ying do that by himself? Or had he hired a gardner? What was his financial situation like?

And when A-Yuan had taken him upstairs to see his bedroom, he had seen Wei Ying tackle washed clothes...and not too long after that, Wei Ying had brought them snacks...so when did Wei Ying relax? When did he have time for himself? When he could unwind?

Lan Zhan promised himself he would find out.

Asking Wei Ying for favours was self explanatory but workable. Lan Zhan could come up with reasons that they could spend time together easily and it was worth keeping in mind. It sort of tied in with finding ways of taking him out and so Lan Zhan thought it was easy too.

He did not believe in gossiping so he decided to ignore that one for now, and Lan Zhan was pretty sure that if he continued to meet Wei Ying as they were doing now, he did not need to establish an online relationship.

Lan Zhan got dressed for bed and lay down with his hands folded upon his chest. When he closed his eyes, he saw the most beautiful silver starlight eyes staring back at him, and Lan Zhan rested peacefully.

*********

Wei Ying groaned in misery.

It couldn't be morning yet...could it? He felt like he had just closed his eyes, only minutes ago.

A-Yuan was jumping on the bed...

Wei Ying felt the beginnings of a headache bloom behind his eyes and he knew today was going to be one of those days. Itchy, scratchy days that he wished were over before they even started...days when he felt around for patience but the bucket was empty.

But A-Yuan was empathetic today and as soon as Wei Ying stirred slightly, he felt the little chubby arms carefully giving him a tight hug.

Just that alone was enough to make tears sprout at the corners of his eyes as he looked down on his beautiful son.

A-Yuan didn't have anyone in the world except him.

It was a humbling and yet tragic thought.

In the past, when Wei Ying had first thought about A-Yuan and adopting him, there had been nights when he was plagued with uncertainty, even after putting the adoption through the motions...something that maybe Jiang Cheng had instinctually understood about him, and perhaps tried to fan those flames, but Wei Ying had a paralysing fear: what if something happened to himself?

What if one day, he simply did not wake up again? Or on his way to the shops, get hit by a car and pass away...what would happen to A-Yuan?

The truth was, life wasn't guaranteed, and anything could happen to him...and it was at times like this that he needed to talk himself out of it.

He had A-Yuan now, and he wasn't going to mess it up while he could.

"My little Radish!" Wei Ying kissed the top of his soft hair.

"Baba okay?" Came the muffled response.

Wei Ying quickly wiped his eyes so A-Yuan wouldn't see his emotional state. Lack of sleep made him more susceptible to the extremes of whatever he was feeling and such was the case now.

"Yes I'm fine...especially now you're here." A-Yuan was wearing his bunny pyjamas with the little hood and bunny tails and was soooo cute!

Wei Ying let his fingers slide to A-Yuan's waist and slowly tickled him...the anticipation of being tickled overweighing the actual deed until he went for it with full gusto. Pretty soon, both of them were red-faced and breathlessly laughing together.

Wei Ying thought as long as A-Yuan kept looking like this, he could do anything.

"A-Yuan!" He suddenly mock whispered.

"Huh...Baba?"

Big chocolate eyes stared up at him, also immediately serious.

"I can hear..." Wei Ying put cupped his own ear as if listening intently...

"What? What do you hear?" A-Yuan whispered back loudly, tense.

"Lions and tigers and bears!" Wei Ying shouted, tickling his tummy. "In here! You're hungry, aren't you?"

A-Yuan shrieked with laughter, and Wei Ying caught him up, rubbing their noses together.

"Come, let's go shower and brush our teeth." He said, leading his son into the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, both of them were shovelling food into their mouths because they were so late and catching the morning bus was going to be a miracle. Wei Ying was rushing around trying to fix A-Yuan's lunchbox, in between making sure A-Yuan ate breakfast and chugging down black coffee amidst bites of an overripe banana and scribbling down on his food list. He made a point to take a picture of it just in case he made it there himself; online shopping was so much easier nowadays, and he was glad that the pandemic had actually brought in some new and useful things. Maybe he would be able to schedule a delivery a bit later today, since they were running out of groceries.

Wei Ying took bringing up A-Yuan very seriously; making sure his kid had a well-balanced diet was easy, and he hoped A-Yuan's parents were looking down on him with grace.

"Finished, Baba!" A-Yuan exclaimed, and Wei Ying beamed at him, putting his own and A-Yuan's dishes in the sink for later.

He looked at his phone; if they left now, they could just make it...

They hurried through the checklist and were out of the door in minutes, not running for the bustop. Just in time and breathing heavily, they managed to catch it, and what a relief it was to be able to sit down!

Wei Ying pulled out A-Yuan's favourite storybook about a dinosaur baby who's mother was introducing it to new food. They were so engrossed in reading that Wei Ying didn't notice someone was tapping his shoulder lightly. He looked up to see an old lady smiling down at him.

"Hello...?" He smiled back because she looked too sweet not to.

"I just wanted to say, you're a lovely father. I see you on the bus every day and when I look at your kid, I know he's going to remember this time. Things might seem tough now, son, but you're doing great." She patted his head and walked away, leaving the bus when it stopped.

Wei Ying stared after her, quite shaken.

Maybe because she had called him "son", or maybe because he needed someone to acknowledge and encourage what he was doing, but his eyes misted over and he had to fight for control.

The day by day struggle was real, and only someone who had been through the same thing or something similar could empathise...and it was was nice to receive validation from outside himself.

"Baba!" A-Yuan was pointing at another detail in the illustrations, and Wei Ying nodded along trying to get over what happened.

Too soon, they reached A-Yuan's school, and A-Yuan, being particularly susceptible to Wei Ying's moods, gave him an extra hug and two kithes, because he loved him.

Wei Ying watched him run away to his friend, shouting out his name.

"It's tough watching them grow up, isn't it?" A friendly female voice said, too close to him.

Wei Ying stepped back.

This was A-Yuan's teacher.

Lan Zhan had said she had not readily given up his son...and Wei Ying was grateful for that, but she had a predatory look in her eyes...

"Yeah...anyway, I gotta run! Have a great day!" He called out, already running away. His phone rang and Wei Ying picked it up upon reaching the bustop.

It was a friend of his who worked under his editor. They chitchatted and made small talk, before his friend dropped the news.

"Max wants to know about your progress. I think he's going to call you today."

"But my deadline for the first installment is weeks away." Wei Ying explained, scratching his head.

The bus stopped and he got on.

"Yeah...about that...we've had a managerial shakeup. They're streamlining and apparently it's supposed to make everything more efficient..."

Wei Ying heard him sigh.

"Don't worry, I've got this!" He said quickly, trying to imbibe cheerful confidence.

They chatted some more and Wei Ying said goodbye as soon as he could.

Well, that was an effectual spanner in the works...he had been planning on ditching housework duty for trying to catch forty winks but that would probably have to wait until the evening now.

He was so tired, he had fallen asleep on the bus and only woke up when it jolted to a stop, jumping up and being the last to leave. Now he didn't have to worry about A-Yuan, Wei Ying ran home, swapped out essentials in his backpack and ran to the Institute.

He had made substantial headway in his research yesterday before he'd fallen asleep and now the plan was to smuggle in coffee hope not to get caught.

Part of him was delighted at the possibility of seeing Lan Zhan again and he told himself that wasn't why he was coming here...not at all.

It was a partial lie because Wei Ying was a social animal. He worked best surrounded by people, and writing was fun, but a little bit lonely. So to balance out the time it took to put words on paper, Wei Ying liked to do all the other stuff in the company of others, even if they were strangers.

He grabbed his coffee, burning his tongue in his rush for the caffeine high, and then his phone rang again.

This time it was Max, his editor.

Wei Ying hated small talk though, and he tried to get through it as fast as possible.

"So when can I expect your chapters?" Max ended, smoothly.

"Didn't we say four weeks from now?" Wei Ying hedged smoothly.

"Ah yes, we did, but management want a definite answer. The cowboys have gone." Max sounded despondent.

"So when, then?" Wei Ying fought to keep from sighing. At least the time wasted on this phone call had cooled his coffee enough so he could drink it.

"By the end of the week...?" Hope tinged his words.

"Next week, right? I mean, it's already Tuesday..."

"Nope. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it's this week Friday." There was some rustling of paper and then Max made sure to give him an exact date.

Damn...he knew Wei Ying too well.

**********

Lan Zhan was a man with a purpose this Tuesday morning.

He arrived at work just a half an hour earlier than normal, and got through the fiction section quickly. He almost chose a book for himself, but he remembered the advice Google had given him: to ask for favours, and that was an excellent job for his Wei Ying.

So he left there and resumed his job in the non-fiction department. As the minutes ticked by, he had to stop himself from checking his watch, the seconds becoming longer and longer as the time dragged to nine o'clock and he could finally open the doors.

After that, he was worried that he would somehow end up losing Wei Ying because they had not actually agreed to meet today and what if Wei Ying had prior engagements? Then he remembered that the single father would be accompanying his son to school and it calmed him down for a while.

But he finished organising the book and the tables remained empty...and he wondered where Wei Ying was. Lan Zhan totally wasn't going to go outside to check...

When he heard the Wei Ying's voice in the foyer of the Institute...he finally relaxed...until he heard Wei Ying make reluctant promises. He sounded so down about it too, and that made Lan Zhan worry.

What was going on?

His feet automatically moved him to stand in front of Wei Ying as he was finishing his phone call.

Wei Ying looked more exhausted than normal today, was the first thing he noticed. And then Wei Ying beamed at him, and Lan Zhan forgot how to breathe.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying greeted him enthusiastically. "How are you today?"

"Wei Ying is tired today?" He blurtedo out.

Wei Ying laughed awkwardly.

"Er....yeah, maybe the cookies at night just before bed wasn't a great idea...A-Yuan could not fall asleep." He tried to smile anyway.

"And Wei Ying?" Lan Zhan stepped closer to him, unable to help himself. He only felt marginally better after the soft scent of lotus flowers floated around him.

"I'm alright, Lan Zhan. I fell asleep a bit later than I would have liked, but that's okay. Now, are you ready for today?" Wei Ying grabbed his arm and marched them to their tables.

"Ready?" Lan Zhan echoed, too dazzled by the close proximity of his crush.

Even if Wei Ying was tired, he was beautiful to look at.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go pick out a book for you...hey, you never told me what you thought about Treasure Island!" Wei Ying remembered.

"It was...Good." Lan Zhan said, after a while.

"Just good?" Wei Ying giggled.

"No...better than good." Lan Zhan took his backpack from him.

Wei Ying was just about to protest, but the weight taken off his shoulder felt really good and Lan Zhan didn't seem to mind, instead, giving him a look that dared him to challenge his actions.

So Wei Ying shrugged to himself and went on chatting, pulling out his chair.

Lan Zhan slid open the backpack and returned it. Inside, he was admonishing himself that he should have taken it earlier...but Wei Ying seemed pleased nevertheless.

"Wei Ying can tell me which topics he would like to research, and I will help." Lan Zhan told him.

Wei Ying's face fell, and Lan Zhan wondered why.

"What is wrong?"

"Ah...it's nothing, Lan Zhan." But he sighed anyway. "My editor changed my deadline, that's all. I have to complete three chapters by this Friday."

Lan Zhan's eyes widened.

Wei Ying couldn't help but grin.

"Exactly!"

Lan Zhan thought he needed a distraction imminently.

"Wei Ying should tell me." He gently encouraged.

"Alright, I was also thinking that my guy would have a tattoo, maybe something related to his past trauma?" Wei Ying thought for a bit, and smiled more enthusiastically. "Actually, maybe the procedure too?"

"Okay."

Lan Zhan stood up to go get his books.

"Wait! What about your book?" Wei Ying called out, standing up too.

"Wei Ying will choose well." Lan Zhan turned to smoulder at him, surprising himself. That's what the advice had suggested: body language...and apparently it worked because Wei Ying's eyes were on fire.

Lan Zhan smiled and said, "Pick well. Surprise me."

*********

A/N

Dear lovely Readers,

Not long to go now...soon we'll be back to normal. Sorry for the delay in my updates and next week is going to be crazy in a great way: my two wonderful friends from Wattpad, authors of fantastic books, are coming to see me!

edzooc8r has written Stolen Memories are Never Forgotten, The Wedding Curse and ongoing, A Soul's Caress, plus she's the best ever co-author and writing buddy with me on Solstice Souls.

DBDavenport8 has written a masterpiece called Unconventional Cultivation, Lan Sect Master & The General, the Butcher of Sing Sing, Meng's Revenge to name but a few of her wonderful stories. Currently,  she is writing Anshi: The Lost Eagle of the Steppes

If you guys want great entertainment, please do check them out!

I am proof that no matter what, if you believe in the Universe and chocolate, only good things will happen...