Lan Zhan hoped today would be a quiet day.

If he stayed here, in the peaceful, silent library and pretended everything was alright, maybe he would be left alone. Maybe, he could remain here until everyone, including all the guests from all the visiting sects, were asleep because there was a curfew in Cloud Recesses, and-

"Lan Zhan! There you are! I've been looking for you!"

His tranquillity is destroyed with the force of a single sharp stone thrown with intent onto a lake covered by thin ice, effectively shattering it.

The first crack turns into a fissure, and that's all the water underneath needs, an opening to swell past the futile barrier with ever widening chinks, and just like that, the ice is overpowered within seconds.

Minutes later, it is as if the ice was never there in the first place.

The bright, beautiful voice is accompanied by an equally beautiful person with a matching smile so wonderfully exuberant, that for a second, Lan Zhan is filled with warmth.

Much like the sun shining on that poor lake, doomed to melt under its powerful rays..

Wei Ying runs into the library and somewhere in the middle of that action, he skids across on his knees to slide perfectly into place, right opposite Lan Zhan. He rests his beautiful face in a cup made from his hands, and that's all it takes for the uncomfortable sizzling to start right in the centre of Lan Zhan’s chest.

He is simultaneously thrilled to bits, breathlessly excited, and then appalled with himself for feeling like that.

Every day, since the guest lectures began, he was subjected to these terribly contrasting foreign feelings, and every day, he was left feeling lost and confused, and not daring to say a word.

Who could he tell, anyway?

Shifu?

A snort flies out of his mouth against his will.

Wei Ying is giving him a funny look.

Ah…yes, Wei Ying, the source of all these feelings. The root cause of his tumultuous despair, the foundation of Lan Zhan’s ever increasing anxiety.

Meditation was encouraged and practised with due diligence in Cloud Recesses, for this very purpose: to master one's emotions and gain control over oneself to better one's inner path.

Up until now, Lan Zhan thought he was great at it.

It was as if the Universe was mocking him, because Lan Zhan was beginning to doubt if he had EVER been good at it at all, not if his every waking moment was filled with calls of "Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan!", in that lovely, happy voice.

Lan Zhan was worrying that soon, even his dreams too, would be plagued by that noise.

He wanted it, and he wanted to squash it equally hard, like the tiny annoying insects they were encouraged to not hurt, however desirable that small action was. They only ever appeared in summertime…much like this boy.

Lan Zhan makes the mistake of not ignoring him. He lifts his gaze to look, and then is blown away by the magical countenance of Wei Ying's beauty.

His round face is flushed, as warm and inviting as the skies of the new dawn, and the mysterious stars that still twinkle in the hidden galaxies above, are ever present in the silver eyes watching him back. His cheeks look soft, the remnants of youth still lurking upon his face, rosy with the exertion of running towards Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan can think of six different rules which have just been broken, right in front of his face.

He chooses not to mention it.

Maybe the impact of this person will lessen if Lan Zhan looks at a different part of him, so his eyes lift higher up, to Wei Ying’s wild ponytail with its vivid, bright red ribbon that is hanging on just by wishful thinking.

The colour is so vibrant, and suits him so well, just like sugar and milk go together perfectly.

The rest of his hair is sticking up all over the place, a reflection of his chaotic existence.

Lan Zhan wants.

"...so what do you think? Will you join us?" Wei Ying is saying.

Lan Zhan hasn't been able to listen, all this time.

Wei Ying might think he was pathetic, unable to hear anything but the desperate beating of his own heart galloping towards its fate. It says yes, shouting as loudly as it can, but Lan Zhan’s lips say no.

There is the briefest flash of disappointment, before it's replaced by the brightest smile.

"That's okay, you must be busy with…" Wei Ying looks at the book, upside down in front of Lan Zhan, "a new challenge. I'll see you later," he promises, and runs off in the same, exciting way that he burst in.

Except now, the library is TOO quiet.

Each beat of his heart echoes sadly in the stillness of the room, accusing him.

Of what, Lan Zhan is unable to say, but it feels like he's done something wrong. Not to Wei Ying, although he's reminded of that quicksilver disappointment in the other's eyes, but this is worse because it feels like he has betrayed himself.

Lan Zhan doesn't know what to make of this, the gaping sadness which blooms in the quietest place of his heart, now lonely and bereft.

So he stands up, restless and agitated, and goes in search of his brother.

Every day has been like this:

"Lan Zhan! Have you ever tried fried watermelon rind?"

"Lan Zhan! Would you share a basket of loquats with me?"

"Lan Zhan! Here! Let's have a cup of Emperor's Smile!"

"Lan Zhan! When you come to Lotus Pier, I'll get you the tastiest lotus seeds! The best ones are with the stem attached!"

"Lan Zhan! Have you ever been to Yunmeng? I'll show you all the good places!"

"Lan Zhan!"

"Lan Zhan!"

"Lan Zhan!"

Like a chiming bell in his head, and his lips have always answered, "no!"

"No."

"No."

Wei Ying was like the exclamation mark to his full stop, never next to each other in a sentence.

The thought made him sad.

XiChen opens the door of the Hanshi immediately, and ushers him in.

There is no need for words just yet.

Together, they sit and wait for the water to boil, and then as it is added to the tea they always share, and wait for it to steep, Lan Zhan finally feels his rampant emotions settling into calm.

This routine of sharing a cup of tea has been theirs for such a long time, Lan Zhan feels he could do it in his sleep.

His Xiongzhang knows not to disturb his thoughts until he is ready, and the silence is welcome. But bizarrely today, it reminds Lan Zhan of one who is not.

He's not sure whether it is the person who is not welcome or that the silence is not.

XiChen has a small smile on his face, as if he knows what Lan Zhan is thinking. Even in this, they have a comradeship because XiChen will let him work this out by himself, of this, Lan Zhan is sure.

Fragrant jasmine and tea wafts about them, soothing Lan Zhan’s frayed nerves further.

This silence is his language, one that his brother has always known how to parse, to understand him, to know what Lan Zhan needs.

XiChen pours the tea into their cups and waits.

"Xiongzhang, why does he keep offering me things?" The question bursts out of him like birdsong.

Lan Zhan was not aware of this festering thought, but he swallows the embarrassment in favour of gaining some kind of insight.

"Are we speaking about Wei-Gonzei?"

Lan Zhan glares at his cup.

Of course they are. It is a silly question, and Lan Zhan will not answer it. Xiongzhang should already know who they are talking about.

"I see." For a few moments, XiChen doesn't say anything.

Then he pushes the plate of osmanthus cakes towards his baby brother, with an enigmatic smile.

"I like these. Would WangJi like some, too?"

Lan Zhan is confused, even as he's shaking his head.

XiChen tries again.

"I like sugar almonds too. What about these?" He offers, his smile widening when Lan Zhan again, refuses.

"What about these loquats?" XiChen says, one last time, adding, "they are my favourite, so I always think of sharing them with the person I like."

Satisfaction blooms on his face when he sees the same understanding slowly dawn on his younger brother.

"WangJi," he explains gently, "it is human nature to want to share the things we like with the people we care about."

This is enough, XiChen thinks. Lan Zhan is clever enough to work out the rest of it by himself, and in due course.

Lan Zhan stands up immediately, because he has figured it out; only, it is difficult for him to accept.

He wants to be alone to process it.

Does Wei Ying like him?

Him, Lan WangJi, the one others always define by his rigid adherence to rules, his cold demeanour, and expressionless, stoic features devoid of any warmth or feelings, THAT Lan Zhan, is liked by Wei Ying?

Impossible!

Impossible because Wei Ying is such a total opposite of himself, as to be laughable.

Wei Ying, as bright as the summer stars, the beautiful stunning sunsets of the day, the colourful streaks of rainbow shades across the wide, open skies…as luminescent as the full moon in all her magnificence.

Lan Zhan does not believe it.

So every day, the shouts of his name go unanswered, and every day, he hides away, until one day, something changes.

One day, there is only silence.

At first, he ignores it, telling himself that it is temporary.

But his heart knows.

His heart has always known, and it begins to cry.

First, there is sadness. It quickly turns to grief as the days pass by, and the beautiful voice is lost.

Lan Zhan’s treacherous heart weeps in agony as it reminds him of what he has lost. His traitorous ears thirst for that single sound, the calling of his name in that bright, enthusiastic voice belonging to only one person.

Lan Zhan thinks he should have known, his regret becomes a boulder in his chest. His heart becomes icy cold and frozen in time, betrayed by his own self to forever be alone.

If silence was his own language, then Wei Ying’s one was to say something other than what he meant, to cover up the real truth with a diversion, something misleading and harmless so he could test the waters and see if his advances held meaning.

But Lan Zhan had failed him.

Then Wei Ying comes back, but he is different.

He no longer seeks Lan Zhan out.

Instead, it is active avoidance, and every time it happens, Lan Zhan is pierced by his own regret, his own failure to acknowledge what has only grown stronger in his heart.

In many ways, this is worse than when Wei Ying was missing, because Lan Zhan couldn't see him to ache about not touching him, to hurt every time that cold voice said his name, further cementing the ice around his heart.

"Lan WangJi."

It wasn't even his birth name, only the courtesy name which Wei Ying had never used before.

There were no exclamation marks here, just a sad, inconsolable sound.

But, the worst was yet to come.

Swept away by events out of their control, they had to part.

This time, Lan Zhan is sure of what he is feeling. His heart berates him every single day, tormenting him with the questions of "what if?"

What if Lan Zhan had allowed his heart to speak, instead of his mouth?

What if he had allowed it to, because surely his heart could speak the language of love far better than he ever could?

And how pitiful was it, that Lan Zhan had been unable to identify the pangs of wishful longing that accompanied his youth?

Every day, he told himself, if he ever got the chance, Lan Zhan was going to listen.

The language of love was as diverse and different for everyone, as vastly varied as the many people around to speak it. And how it came across might be unrecognisable, but its meaning was the same.

If he ever got the chance…

Thirteen years later, hope unfurls in his heart as wild and free as a kite soaring amongst the clouds.

Determination powers his every step towards the sound of the flute, a rendition of their song, the music of the melody in his heart.

That song was his language, professing his love for this extraordinary man who had done the impossible and found a way to return to him.

And this time, Lan Zhan was not going to fail.

This time, Lan Zhan was going to understand each question for what it really was:

"Lan Zhan! Shall we drink together?" really meant, "I care for you."

"Lan Zhan! Let's have some loquats!" really meant, "I want to spend my time with you."

"Lan Zhan! Let's play together!" meant "I love you."

This time, Lan Zhan lets his heart do the talking, instead.

To every question, his answer is the same:

"Yes!"

"Yes!"

"Yes!"

And his reward is there, in the brightest smile on Wei Ying’s face, lighting up the love in his beautiful starlight eyes, and in every kiss they share afterwards.

This becomes their language of love, and it is one both of their hearts know how to speak.

THE END

************

A/N

Dear Beautiful Readers,

In the early hours of this morning, this story came to me about the subtleties of how we communicate, and I immediately thought, that's WangXian. How we never say exactly what we mean, whether we're too scared to say the truth, or if it's better to test the waters and find out, before making ourselves vulnerable.

I think it is always better to be brave and face the consequences.

Anyway, I'm making a hasty retreat back to Wild Creatures, promise!

🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫

Charlie