Saturday

The team minus Lan Zhan, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang, were going to meet at a chic and trendy breakfast place.

Wei Ying was determined to make time and talk to Mianmian at some point today. He had to get answers to his questions, the main ones being, are you interested in my Lan Zhan...correction, just Lan Zhan...but that sounded so wrong...

He, his Shijie and her damn annoying Peacock were waiting for the others to arrive.

He sighed again, and his Shijie rubbed his back sympathetically. She had gotten the dirt from Jiang Cheng...for the umpteenth time, Wei Ying reminded himself that Jiang Cheng was the equivalent of a cracked pot, useless at holding water...and that was going to be the last time he ever confided anything in his brother again.

She knew mostly everything there was to know about their non existing relationship. She had seen what had happened last night and he had filled her in on the rest of it with Huaisang this morning.

The embarrassment wasn't worth it, plus he had yet to find out what those two at the hotel had been fighting about...

"Maybe you should just tell him." She encouraged, giving him a small smile.

"But Shijieeee....what if...what if he doesn't feel the same way?" Wei Ying tried not to let his doubts get the better of him, but ever since Lan Zhan had pushed him away, his self preservation instincts were kicking in, not wanting himself to get spurned again.

She lowered her sunglasses to mock-glare at him.

"Remember WaterCoolerGate?"

Wei Ying blushed hard.

How could he forget that day?

Wei Ying had been having a bad day. It was a combination of getting his ideas rejected multiple times by different people, and before coming to work, he had been accosted by a dog in the park. The whole ordeal had left him shaken, and he'd aimed straight for the water cooler.

There was a vending machine next to it, and the candy bars were right there. He drank a couple of glasses of water, and moved on to the snack machine, selecting the sugar-free Lindt milk chocolate and the caramel one, just in case he needed the extra sugar. He figured if one had it and the other did not, that was a balance in the Universe right there...

But after he put his money in and waited, patiently for him, the damn machine seemed to have frozen. His chocolate was suspended in midair, as if held by invisible fingers and no amount of pushing and kicking the stupid metal hulk did anything.

Now, Wei Ying was tired, as well as trying to recover from a great shock because husky puppies were bigger than some fully grown terrors, and now...his treat, the thing that would make everything bad go away...was just out of reach.

He could feel the tears of frustration...especially since the board meeting had ended in shambles, all six of his ideas binned because the executives had a stick shoved up their backsides the size of Texas...and all he wanted to do was sit in a corner and eat his chocolate.

Was that too much to ask?

The carpet swam as his eyes flooded, tear after tear falling on the ground and darkening a single patch that grew and grew.

Suddenly, he was lifted and put to one side.

Of course, it was Lan Zhan of the super arm strength.

And then, Lan Zhan just tilted the vending machine slightly and his chocolates fell down to the opening. Lan Zhan collected them and handed them over without a word.

Wei Ying ripped open the outer cardboard, and tore into the silver foil. It always made him feel a special sense of excitement when he did this, rather like the Charlie from the Chocolate factory story, and finding a golden ticket.

But just as he was about to break off a piece and devour it standing, he wondered if Lan Zhan would like a piece. So he snapped off two and held it up, expecting Lan Zhan to take it with his fingers...but Lan Zhan leaned down, a hungry look in his eyes, and his beautiful pink lips wrapped around the sweet treat, kissing his fingers.

The whole action was so hot!

And those bare forearms...

His golden eyes were so intent, so focused on Wei Ying, that he did not even blink. As if by doing so, he would miss a split second of whatever was happening. A fire burned in the amber depths of his irises, tiny glittering shards of hunger as if he wanted more.

Wei Ying felt like a trapped bunny rabbit staring at a wolf. His heart rate was going through the roof and he could only smell the sandalwood perfection of Lan Zhan’s scent as it drifted around him, could only see gold, gold, and more gold.

Lan Zhan stepped closer.

And Wei Ying...

Wei Ying fled.

Ever since that day, he wished he had been brave enough to stay, brave enough to tell Lan Zhan what he really wanted.

And ever since that day, they had begun to dance around each other, neither saying the truth, neither exposing their fragile hearts.

His Shijie had called it WaterCoolerGate and the name had stuck.

So she was well within her rights to remind him of it, and insist that maybe Lan Zhan was having the same crazy, intense thoughts about him, as he was, about Lan Zhan.

But what about pushing him away?

Wei Ying rubbed his chest again at that familiar place, with the heel of his hand. It hurt, he wasn't going to lie. The pain seemed to lay there, unmoving and festering. Waiting to stir again.

But just then, Mianmian turned up with the Wens.

She smiled at him warily, and made sure to sit as far from him as possible when they took their seats at the table. And the second there was a lull in the conversation, she jumped in with some random facts that led to long winded discussions about things Wei Ying could care less about.

So...she definitely knew something.

And she was determined to keep it to herself.

So Wei Ying sat back and watched her, flexing and stretching out his fingers to crack his knuckles.

If she wanted to play...he could play, too.

There was still many hours of this day left to go, and Wei Ying was equally determined to wrangle it from her stubborn lips...

Huaisang called just as they were leaving the restaurant.

"Listen...neither of those two are up yet. What were we going to do today?"

"Gardens by the Bay."

"Er..."

"Look out of your window." Wei Ying sighed.

"Done." Relief in his voice.

"You see those three really tall things...the ones that look like weird trees?"

"Yeah...? That's where we're going? They look so cool!" He sounded excited now.

"Yeah it's a whole day thing. And they have fireworks and a night light show too. Everything is based on sustainability."

"Alright. We'll join you guys as soon as I see movement." Huaisang signed off.

"They're going to meet us there, later." Wei Ying told the expectant faces of his group. "Anyone know what happened after I left last night?"

He looked around at them as they prepared to leave.

There were murmured denials and a general I-don't-know-anything-why-you-asking-me vibe...except for one guilty face.

Mianmian was the only one who said nothing, remaining noticeably silent.

Okay...so that's how it's going to be, huh? Wei Ying started plotting but his thoughts were interrupted.

"Why did you leave though?" Wen Qing asked, shrewdly narrowing her eyes at him.

"Tired." He shot back.

It wasn't a lie...

They started drifting towards the Metro.

The train was on time and before too long, they were on their way towards the Bay.

Wei Ying had tried to sit next to Mianmian but she was flanked by the other two girls and in the middle of a heated debate on whether chilli red lipstick was an indication of confidence or not, as opposed to scarlet, plain red, or crimson.

As if there was a difference...

Wei Ying closed his eyes and wondered if Lan Zhan was awake yet.

Minutes later, they were walking through the huge expanse of greenery just beyond the gates of the Gardens. Halloween was the day after tomorrow and the place was decked out in carved pumpkins with electric lights inside and dry ice floating around their main feature which was a group of skeletons playing instruments. It was bizarrely fun.

Wei Ying loved this time of year. It wasn’t just that his birthday and the holiday coincided, it was the full combination of the time of year, the golden leaves on the trees, the way the sunlight felt crisper, and the scent of winter. It reminded him of warm nights spent by a fireside, reading a good book and enjoying a mug of hot chocolate complete with marshmallows...although he had only ever experienced some of that fantasy.

The world was bathed in a golden light and he felt peaceful...normally.

Right now though, he was a man on a mission.

Mianmian had disappeared minutes into their entry, and she was playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse today.

Every time Wei Ying saw a flash of pink, and thought it might be the dress she was wearing, it was someone else.

Why on earth was every woman decked out in that colour today?? And not just the women...

Wei Ying sighed because Mianmian had so far eluded him today. He wasn't even sure why he'd ended up on his own either, but the Wens were missing too, and he really didn't want to spend a second trailing after the Peacock and his sister.

His phone pinged and he checked the time: three pm.

Had he really been wandering around for five hours?

How was that even possible?

He missed Jiang Cheng so much right now. Jiang Cheng was the best distraction...from Lan Zhan.

Even just his name had pangs of something happening inside his heart.

And they were here, apparently, according to Huaisang's message.

Wei Ying sat down on a bench, despondently.

What had happened to his grand confession?

Wasn't he supposed to be in Lan Zhan’s arms right now, and even better, kissing him?

He shivered, totally not thinking about how that made him feel. The goosebumps on his skin were from the cool breeze, and his heart beating faster than normal, that was because of his brisk walking.

Nothing else...

And sitting here, soaking in his own pity party wasn't going to solve any problems, so he stood up to walk away, when he heard familiar voices.

One was definitely Wen Qing and the other...was Mianmian.

They were just behind this fence, covered with ivy...so that neither could see him.

They all three were out in the open...it wasn’t eavesdropping if he sat there for a little while longer, right? He was tired...

"You've been jittery all through this holiday." Wen Qing accused her.

"I'm a wreck...I don't know what to do!" Mianmian admitted.

Uh oh...Wei Ying thought, leaning back so he could hear them better.

"Why don't you just tell him? I mean...he's been spending all this time with you...he must like you too. Who hangs around someone they don't like?" Wen Qing with her truth that cut like a knife.

"But whenever he's with him...he's always different suddenly...and I'm not sure I like that version of him." Mianmian sounded so unsure, and her voice was thick as if she was trying not to cry.

"Wei WuXian is a harmless idiot. You don't have to worry about him." Wen Qing told her. "Worry about what you want for a change."

Wei Ying blushed, his ears burning.

He was an idiot???

But her next words made him feel cold, as if there was only ice in his veins.

"He kissed me...I mean...we kissed." Mianmian sounded shy now.

"Did you like it? Kissing is very important you know." Wen Qing was saying.

But Wei Ying stood up shakily and walked away.

He had heard enough.

Lan Zhan had kissed Mianmian???

That was so shocking...

How could he have?

But...and when? And more importantly, why??

What was Wei Ying missing? When had Lan Zhan fallen in love?

Since he did not strike Wei Ying as someone who would kiss anyone randomly...

Did they really like each other that much?

But now...but now Wei Ying had his proof.

And it hurt like a bitch. The too familiar ache in his chest began again, much to his disappointment.

Lan Zhan liked Mianmian, enough apparently to kiss.

And Wei Ying would have to find a way to be okay with that...

********

He spent the best part of the day trying not to cry, and when he did finally let himself, he spent the rest of the time trying to hide the evidence.

They were all supposed to meet where the three big trees were for the light show and Wei Ying had precisely five minutes to make it there before nine.

He had washed his face numerous times and hoped that his bloodshot eyes would not be easily seen in the semi darkness of the night.

"There you are!" Jiang Cheng clapped his back enthusiastically, the worry dissipating from his face. "Where were you? We've been looking for you everywhere."

"Stomach bug." Wei Ying tried to smile. "I've been hiding in the loos." At least that part was the truth.

He could feel a certain pair of golden eyes on him, but Wei Ying refused to look. The truth, a bitter one at that, was that Lan Zhan had made his choice...and Wei Ying was going to have to learn how to deal with that.

And step one was distancing himself from Lan Zhan.

It would not do to be ogling someone else's boyfriend, no matter how difficult it would be to refrain.

But when the bright colours lit up the night sky, Wei Ying couldn’t help himself. He knew it was weak of him, but he thought everyone would be concentrating on the neon lights all around them.

So he looked around...only to find Lan Zhan right next to him.

And he was staring back.

Those golden eyes were full of worry.

As if all this time, he had been looking at only him.

His hand hand reached out towards Wei Ying's, and electricity shot through his fingers, making Wei Ying shiver.

"What's wrong?" He mouthed to Wei Ying.

Wei Ying...terrified that Mianmian would see, snatched his hand back and pulled away, edging back through the tightly packed crowd.

He couldn’t stay there any longer.

Luckily, the crowd parted only for him, and he wove his way out of there, the look of panic and desperation haunting in Lan Zhan’s eyes, remaining in his head. Lan Zhan was trying to follow but the mass of bodies surged against him and Wei Ying was freed.

As soon as he was able, Wei Ying ran.

He ran as fast as he could, through the hot tunnel of changing colour lights, past the lotus flowers glowing with more changing lights on the river, across the bridge and far away.

His lungs were burning, much needed oxygen scorching his insides. His eyes gave up the fight and let the hot tears fall as he ran. Cool air from the salty sea hurt his face and his bare arms, fuelling his only thought that he had to get away from Lan Zhan.

He ended up on the boulevard adjacent to the sea. Looking out across the dark waters, the bright lights reflected upon the waves, Wei Ying let himself cry. The tears were silent, a final goodbye to the man he had fallen in love with.

Pushing himself not to think about their tender moments, letting himself come to terms with the fact that Lan Zhan was only being friendly...his real affections were for Mianmian after all...and he made sure that he could be strong inside his mind.

He had to stay away from Lan Zhan from now on.

Utterly exhausted and dragging his feet, he was relieved to see the hotel nearby. But as he entered the foyer...he realised that staying away from Lan Zhan would be impossible if they were sharing a room.

Now what?

There was a group of four armchairs with tall backs around a little coffee table near the elevators. Wei Ying sank down in one of them while he thought about what he was going to do.

Maybe the others had returned by now...maybe Lan Zhan was already asleep?

It was close to midnight now...and Lan Zhan didn't sleep late normally...maybe it would be okay to go back to his room...

But Wei Ying didn’t want to risk it yet.

He pulled out his phone.

He didn't feel like dealing with Jiang Cheng just yet, so he called Huaisang again.

"Where are you?" Huaisang barked as soon as he picked up.

"At the hotel. Where is everyone?" Wei Ying asked, a little taken aback.

He heard Huaisang cover his mouthpiece and shout out something but it was unclear.

"Alright, we're on our way back. Don't move." He was told before the line cut off.

Wei Ying looked at his phone and shrugged. But there was a notification for missed calls.

He was too tired to deal with those now.

He took off his shoes and made himself comfortable, tucking his feet under himself and resting his heavy head on the armrest.

The others would be here soon...

Then he could ask Huaisang why he had been so curt with him.

********

Sunday

Wei Ying was having the most wonderful dream.

It was warm and cozy and the scent of sandalwood made him feel safe. His dozing mind and thoroughly tired body pulled him under even as he felt as if he was moving.

When he next woke up, he was alone.

It was his first thought as his body propelled him into a sitting position and he sat up in bed.

Bed...?

His last memory was the boring magazine on the coffee table downstairs.

In the hotel foyer...

The armchair...the maroon and gold upholstery...the too strong lights...

Had he fallen asleep there?

Who had carried him?

He looked down at his clothes.

Who had changed them for him???

His phone rang, jolting him out of his thoughts.

"Are you awake now?" Huaisang said on the other end.

"Gah...yes! Yes, I am!" Wei Ying rubbed his eye, one at a time.

His stomach growled and Huaisang laughed into his ear.

"It's lunchtime, there's a pasta place around the corner from the hotel. You're the only one left. We're waiting for you." Huaisang hung up.

Wei Ying felt like a recipient on the other end of a ransom request.

Those were specific instructions...

He jumped out of bed, glancing at the empty bed next to him on his way to the bathroom. But he was not going to allow himself to think about Lan Zhan today.

This was going to be Day one of purging his mind, and he was going to be strong.

Showering and dressing, ten minutes later, Wei Ying was striding out of the hotel, trying not to think about last night, and how much face he was going to lose with his siblings at lunch...but he was going to have to face them at some point, sooner or later.

Might as well get it over with as soon as possible.

He was led to their table as soon as he gave his friend's name, and with dismay, he saw that the only seat left empty was the one next to Lan Zhan.

He faltered...something that did not go unnoticed by everyone, especially a certain pair of golden eyes already fixed upon him.

Still, they didn't call him shameless for nothing, so Wei Ying plastered the biggest, brightest smile on his face and sat down next to him, shifting his chair so that it was angled away from him deliberately.

"How are you feeling today, A-Xian?" Shijie asked him, a warm smile on her face.

Wei Ying answered automatically, concentrating on keeping the smile fixed in place.

"I'm fine, Shijie. Hungry."

From his right hand side, a menu was pushed towards him as dishes began to arrive.

"Glad someone is...ow!" Jiang Cheng who was sitting on his other side, bent down to rub his shin.

"Thank you." Wei Ying murmured, perusing the items in front of him and trying not to breathe in the scent of soothing sandalwood.

The problem was, it had been soothing up till now...but the thought of admitting that, now when the idea of liking Lan Zhan in that way had become an impossibility...it was making him sick to his stomach at himself.

How could he do something like that?

So he tried to hold his breath and ordered anything, hoping that as it was an Italian restaurant, whatever it was would be drowning in onions and garlic.

There had to be a way to smother that scent...

When his food arrived, there was another surprise.

Wei Ying put his first mouthful in, and saw the bottle of chilli oil being pushed towards his plate from his right side. Now he was torn because he really wanted to use it...but touching it meant acknowledgement of the person sitting right there.

And then a squeal just behind him had him dropping his fork.

"OH MY GOD! JEFFREY! YES!! YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!" Followed by the noisy kissing sounds of two people exchanging saliva.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes and adjusted his chair to sit closer to the table, and away from the drama just behind them.

Wei Ying was trying so hard not to laugh, he snort-choked on an ill-timed drink of water.

All the faces around them were showing such a range of emotions, he was finding everything highly amusing.

Jiang Cheng was obviously intolerant of the excessive display of emotions; his Shijie had a look of dreamy romance dancing in her eyes, Wen Qing was staring curiously at whatever was going on behind him, Wen Ning was staring politely at his plate, and just the contrast between the siblings was funny.

And then he got to Mianmian.

Her face was full of longing...

And Wei Ying suddenly couldn't swallow another bite.

He pushed away his plate, studiously ignoring the weight of a stare from his right.

The commotion died away and he assumed the pair of lovebirds had left.

"Well...that was unexpected..." Wen Qing said, taking a swig of her lemon water.

Wei Ying had ordered a cocktail, the most colourful one he could find...it was supposed to be a holiday after all...

This one was shades of yellow to orange and red, and certainly higher in the ratio of alcohol to fruit juice. But this was a kiss from the Universe...since he would need help in getting through the next day and a half.

"I don’t know...I thought it was really romantic!" Mianmian sighed, resting her head in her arms.

"I don't like the publicness of something like that!" Jiang Cheng scowled. "It's embarrassing...not only for the ones involved, but the ones subjected to...that!"

"They didn't seem embarrassed at all!" Mianmian defended her opinion.

"Depends on effort." Lan Zhan suddenly said.

Wei Ying looked at him then, and immediately regretted it.

Lan Zhan was looking right back at him, those golden eyes probing, intense as always but looking as if he was trying to solve a complex puzzle.

"But that," Wei Ying jerked a thumb behind his back, "took almost no effort at all. That's like a text confession..." He scoffed, though he was unable to look away.

"Even that, if sincere, is just as valid." Lan Zhan insisted, also not looking away.

The fire brewing in those golden depths was real.

"I would want to be wooed with serious intent." He found himself saying.

Laughter erupted around him, but Wei Ying was trapped inside a golden cage, darkening with every second that passed.

He couldn’t believe he had just said that!

How embarrassing!!?

He stood up, trying to think of any excuse to leave, but Mianmian beat him to it.

"We've got the afternoon free, right? Let's go karaoke singing!"

"There's one here." Jiang Cheng said just as Huaisang finished looking at his phone.

"And it's available." He announced.

Somehow Wei Ying ended up swept along with them to the rooms at the back of the ground floor.

Soft and comfortable leather seats surrounded them, with an assortment of snacks and finger foods, wine, soju and vodka, with bottles of Pepsi on the central table. Someone closed the lights and disco lights came on instead, neon lights that landed on random things and people, otherwise the room was bathed in a purple blue light.

Mics were handed out and songs selected.

The last thing that Wei Ying wanted to do was sing.

Singing happened when you were happy...and if that was true...Wei Ying wouldn't be singing any time soon. He grabbed a tall glass and filled it with the first thing his hand landed on, ignoring the look of disapproval from the man sitting next to him.

The mood, aside from how he personally felt, was quite jovial as people began to sing, and embarrassment was laid outside the door. Luckily, no one asked Wei Ying to sing.

He watched the dancing lights and sipped his drink, adding more when he thought no one was looking.

His mood was sinking faster than punctured boat out at sea.

Tomorrow was his birthday and he hated it. Celebrating was the furthest thing from his mind...not with this gaping hole where his heart used to be. The pain was unimaginable, gnawing on his insides like some kind of burrowing insect, fully intending to reach his heart...

He laughed humourlessly, feeling Lan Zhan’s stare, and then the loss of his warmth, as he stood up to sing. Wei Ying watched as he went to join Mianmian at the front, both of them with mics in their hands.

Mianmian had such a look of love on her face...and suddenly, Wei Ying wanted to throw up.

Maybe it was a combination of whatever concoction of numerous drinks in his stomach deciding to revolt, and his state of depression, but the last place he wanted to be was here.

He slipped out of the room unseen, amid cries of "duet! Duet! Sing together!"

"We have an announcement to make!" Lan Zhan was saying.

No...Wei Ying thought, he couldn’t stay here any longer.

*******

A/N

Dear lovely Readers,

Don't be too upset with me...I promise there's more to come in one last part, and hopefully I'll be able to write more this evening...

Chocolate will help, I promise!!!

Charlie.