Sometimes i sit and imagine my life with you
i create such joy in my own view
the laughs we could share, the heartfelt moments
I wonder what i could have done to fix what i broke
how to make myself feel more whole
i don't understand this infatuation
it's followed me like a ghost behind all my new relationships
i wish i could shake how i feel
because i know regardless it can't be killed
so there it will sit between the cobwebs and forgotten pasts
as i remember all the memories i've had
i miss your smile
i miss your hands
i miss your hugs and how we used to dance
i miss being young
i don't want to get old
i wish i could have more than one to hold
because i love her but i also love you
and it's not fair to myself to create this view
that you could ever think of me like i think of you
Yet she, with her heart of gold
hasn't been through the stories i have not yet told
i hope one day i can understand
why i am still in love with this god forsaken man
because i can't keep living these fantasies
when i have all i need in front of me
because she is the light of my life
and you are the dark that haunts my past
like death casting a glance over the land
and i want to scream and shout and cry
but i don't want her to think why
why she couldn't be enough for me
why she couldn't fulfill my dreams
but that is the catch my dear
because you both seem to be what i need to hold near
but she is here, she is trying
so why do i still crave this pining
towards you, when we don't even talk
you can't even bother to create a bond
so why do i imagine this thing that can't exist
perhaps my childlike innocence is still together in some bits
thinking i can have all that i want
when i know better and i wish I could stop
i can't say goodbye, no not yet
because you are where my head wants to rest