First chapter. I hope you find what you need to from this story.

***

Ooh, you make me live.

It's been precisely one hundred days. One hundred days where I rush home before the sun sets to get my daily fix. Since the first day, the notes drifted around me like a soft, worn-out blanket. She reels me in.

It was a total surprise. I was sitting on my kitchen counter with a bottle of cheap Tequila squeezed between my thighs when the sound bombarded me for the first time.

It drew me from my musing and led me to the balcony. It was a force that dragged me like a magnetic and left me wanting more.

I've done my fair share of drugs, but this, this was something no one could resist.

I don't have a lot to live for right now, I'm empty and broken, but she's a flicker in the distance. She transports me to a time where I was happy. It wasn't always like this. My whole body shivers at the thought. My life was different from birth; nothing was standard from the moment I made my first sounds.

If I draw a road map of my life, the beacons along the way will be spares and far apart. My mind goes to a time where I was happy, not a time as much as a person. She made it all bearable with a single smile.

She was a mistake; she wasn't supposed to be in this world. God accidentally sent an angel instead. God, I miss her. My heart burns like it always does when I think of her. I bring my right hand up and rub it, trying to soothe the pain.

I'm thinking of you.

The world was a cruel place for her; Her emotions are too much for her. Her love language was touch, but she couldn't make contact with anyone. My head is pounding from the heavy thinking,

A short note brings me back to Lisa. I've been making up stories about her, piano girl. I picture it in my head every day as I stand on my balcony and listen to her.

She's one of my best friends; she lives far over the blue oceans. She lives at the hang of Table mountain in a small cottage, and when the sun sets, she plays the most beautiful melodies.

Her fingers know the way, locked in black and white. The piano croons in delight as she coaxes the sound from the keys. It's filled with sadness and longing, but the piano knows her sorrow.

The whole world falls silent, listening in the darkest hour to the sounds of the night that's coming from Lisa's piano.

I don't know why I named her Lisa; it just seemed fitting. She's plain; she doesn't fuss with the daily struggles like everyone else. She cares about the important things, the things that matter in life. She's kind, one of the kindest people you'll ever meet. She embraces sorrow just as much as she embraces happiness.

I brush my hand through my hair. It's getting too long, I think, as it flops back over my forehead. I move to sit in a chair almost right next to Lisa's window, as close as possible.

I brought it out here at around day twenty. I get the bottle up to my mouth and take a sip. The Tequila doesn't burn anymore; it hasn't for years.

I close my eyes and lean my head against the chair; she's playing one of my favorites. I play along on my thigh. I can almost imagine myself sitting next to her, playing the chords.

I wonder what she's thinking about right now? I also know there's a massive possibility that it isn't even a woman.

It always seems like she doesn't know how to stop once she begins. She never allows me to go back inside or bid her farewell before I've finished my last cigarette.

I pretend that I'm standing on her balcony. The ocean breeze is blowing my hair around me. I drink her apricot tea while I stare at Cape Town. It's dark as I look at the lights twinkling in the distance and the black ocean.

I open my eyes and look down at the sidewalk; someone rummages through the dumpsters. It used to be you. I pinch my eyes and swallow hard. My heart hurts for these people that are looking up from the filth, frozen in position.

They know the sounds that stream from her apartment. Way past midnight, with the windows open, the neighbors are complaining about how Lisa has become every homeless person's dream.

I kill my last cigarette and make my way inside, already excited for tomorrow when I can do this all over again. I shut the glass door behind me, muting Lisa for the night.

It's nothing new for me to create a world I'd rather live in. I'm beyond thankful for being where I am today, but it's just not enough.

It's mediocre and gray, almost like a black and white movie that got stuck. I need to call my mother. I make a mental note to do that tomorrow.

I take a shower. I run through all the things I have to do tomorrow. Everything takes longer to do because I've drunk way too much. It's not a new thing, been doing it my whole life. It suppresses the nightmares sometimes, and I'll take everything I can to numb the pain.

I don't bother getting dressed further than my underwear and crawl into bed. I turn on my side and close my eyes. I pull my extra pillow against my chest, trying to fill the void with the inanimate object.

I won't get much sleep; I never do. I create a world of my own when I'm awake because the one I'm pulled into when I sleep, the one I don't have any say in, is filled with darkness and pain. Having a perfect, imaginary world to wake up to is the only reason I'm still alive.

***

PAST

"Harry Edward Styles, I'm going to- I'm going to-" She trails off, picking up speed. Shit, she said my middle name. Maybe I should give back her shoes. I look around, and she's running after me at full speed. God, she's fast for such a small girl. I push harder; her shoes gripped tightly in my hand.

I run out of the forest, breaking through the tree line. "Harry!" She cuts herself off when she reaches me, where I'm standing still in shock at the view.

"Why'd you stop..." She doesn't finish her sentence, her eyes now falling on what I saw seconds before her. Laughter bubbled from her, and my toes curl from the sound.

Wildflowers cover the whole floor. "Harry." She sighs, and I nod, looking down at her. "It's so beautiful," I whisper. "Almost as beautiful as you," I tell Sunshine, and the blush makes her way from behind her ears, resting on her cheeks.

She bends down slowly, admiring the pretty flowers. She picks it up and stands, giving it to me. I pluck it from her fingers and push it behind my ear. Her giggles are my reward.

"Prince Harry." She says. "One day, when you're a lot older than now, you're going to have beautiful long hair. It's going to be wild and curly, a mane of chestnut and gold." I close my eyes and try to imagine it.

"Will you still put flowers in my hair?" I question, swaying from side to side. "As long as you'll let me. If... If I'm not there, you have to do it. Please don't forget how it made you feel." She pleads. She's too good for this world.

I snap my eyes open to look at Sunshine. Her bottom lip is trembling, and so are her hands. "I'll never forget you," I promise her. She nods, her lip disappearing into her mouth.

"The world is going to try and tell you how to act. People, people don't understand what it means to really live. Be one of those people who does understand, for me." She whispers, and I can only nod, emotions overtaking me.

Suppose I can only hug you once. "If... We'll find each other again. I won't go my whole life without you." I promise. "I know we will, it's going to be a long road, but we'll find our way home." She smiles, and I can't take any more of this.

Thinking of her not being in my life everyday kills me. I'll go mental without her. She's my wings, and I'll fall to dust without her.

"I'm still mad at you, gimme those." She reaches for her shoes, bringing me out of my thoughts. I'm faster, so I quickly hold them above my head. She lets out a growl and jumps up to get them, but she's too short.

"Harry!" She wines, still jumping. "I'm going too... I'm going to." She's not going to do anything; she's too good of a person. "Gonna what? Tell me, Tiny Dancer." I tease her, my tongue poking out of my mouth. "I'm going too... I." She stops struggling, but I swallow my victorious smile when she gets a mischievous look in her eyes.

She turns around without a word, rights her top, and dances away from me. I lower her shoes in shock. Shit, maybe I pushed her too far this time. I run after her like my ass is on fire. She doesn't acknowledge me when I reach her. "Hello, sunshine." I start.

"Hello, Harry." She says, and I know she's smiling. "Give me a flower," I ask. She stays quiet for a few steps. "Black-eyed Susan." She laughs. Oh fuck. I look up, waiting for some grace to fall from the sky.

When I look back down, I notice she's standing still. God, she's beautiful. I turn my head to her, continuing to walk. "Why would you pick-" I'm suddenly yanked forward by some unknown force, my words cut off successfully.

The water is ice cold when I break the surface. I splutter underwater for a while until I manage to push myself above the surface. I gasp loudly and wipe the water out of my eyes frantically. My hair falls over my face, and I brush it back.

How did I miss the fucking pond?

I look up, still shocked. I hear the sound of bells, and Tiny dancer is holding her hands over her mouth, her whole body shaking. I should know better by now; she has nature on her side.

"Hello, sunshine." She laughs through her hands as I stomp out of the water, a solemn expression on my face. I deserved that one.

I stand right in front of her and shake myself out like a dog. She yelps and moves away from me, still laughing. "Go ahead, make my day."

"Justice." She says, and I nod. "I'm a firm believer in Karma." She shrugs her shoulders. "Come on, the sun is starting to set," I tell her, looking up. The clouds are forming rapidly; it's going to storm soon. The clouds are groaning above us from the weight of the water in them.

I walk a half step behind her, admiring her. She makes me happy, really happy. She makes me live. Every day, even in this mundane life, she makes me live. Whatever this world can give to me, I don't want it. It's her; she's all I see.

"Are you happy?" She asks out of the blue. We're sitting in the living room, drinking juice.

We're watching the little mermaid on the couch; Elijah is sprawled on his stomachs by our feet. I put the movie in for him, but I have to force myself to tear my eyes from the screen. "You're the best friend that I ever had; how can I not be?"

"I've been with you such a long time, don't know anything else." She says. Her tone makes me look at her thoroughly; she's looking out the window absently. The storm that was brewing is now raging in full force.

Rain hits the windows like Romeo's pebbles. "In rain or shine, you've stood by me." She makes me a better person. "I love you, Harry." She whispers, turning her head towards me, tears in her eyes.

"Tiny dancer?" I ask, she gives me her full attention. "You're the first one when things turn out bad. I'll always come to you. You make it better. I love the things you do. I love you." I say to her, my heart beating faster with every word.

She stares at me for a long time. She places her right hand on her heart, and I do the same. "Gonna marry you one day," I say confidently, and she snorts. "You better." I roll my eyes at her; the moment is over.

Quote: "Go ahead, make my day." SUDDEN IMPACT (1983)

I want to thank you for reading. If it's one or one hundred reads, I don't care.

Thank you for taking the time to read.
Have a wonderful day.

Mkay Bye!