My sister and I had learned to be friends. Dave, my daughter Elizabeth, and I were going home for her graduation. As we drove by, I realized that nothing had changed. Nothing ever did. This feeling of nostalgia swept over my body. Home never fails to do that. The fields were the same, the land was the same, and even the sky was the same. We passed by the church where I married Dave. Like yesterday, I could hear the bells chiming as we ran out into the car avoiding the unexpected showers. The only difference is that Elizabeth wasn't there. I looked back. The poor girl had fallen asleep after hours of annoying us with her constant chant, "Are we nearly there yet?" I wondered how my sister was doing.

Time had travelled fast. I still remember holding a newborn baby at the age of ten, filled with awe and delight. Now she is graduating. Our age gap had put away the usual sibling rivalries, and I was more like a mother to her than a sister, as I was the one always babysitting her. I felt that I was too simple-minded for her though. She had a deep curiosity for everything and wanted to know the entire workings of the universe. I, however, was always quiet and shy, sitting in the corner doing my own thing. I was a victim to answering her questions though, which was sometimes a pain.

We reached our quaint house, and I saw that mom and dad were getting older. Mom had cut off her long hair bit by bit every time I came to visit and now it was a complete bob. Hair became harder and harder to maintain as she got older, but I wished she had kept it longer. My mom had thick, lustrous, voluminous hair that I had always envied. I did not inherit it, and although I attempted to grow mine out, I just ended up having a thin wispy bunch that was pretty unattractive. My sister had inherited it though. She had beautiful thick hair, but it did not match Mom's. Dad was also balding. Next time I come, he might even have the whole thing shaved off, I supposed. It was weird. My parents did definitely seem somewhat old to me as I grew up because we were one generation apart, but never like this. Of course they were grandparents now, but still I tried to imagine how they looked as I was graduating and how my sister saw them now. I wondered how my sister might be viewing my parents. Are they like parents to her or old people. I pondered for a moment.

My sister was pretty sad when I graduated since I substituted for the parenting role most of the time. She even got sick, and my parents weren't quite sure what to do. I had to come back home that weekend and help out. When the situation got worse, I had to leave college and move back in. I then transferred to a university nearby. These are the reasons why I wonder whether my sister really saw our parents as her own parents. But no matter how old my parents are, I am glad that she grew up in this household. I know that I love being part of our family. We have our own traditions and subculture, I guess you could say. But most importantly, we liked to spread warmth. There were some things that never grew old. One of them was Mom's cooking, and the other was the warm hugs. My parents might just be the most loving people I ever encountered in my life. I loved my homecomings.

The graduation went by quickly and so came the transitioning into college. My sister had tons of things to pack, and even though my mom and I pitched in to help, the load was not really getting any lighter. When we were finally done, we were relieved. We relaxed with some tea and biscuits. Then a neighbor came to visit, and so my mom went to chat. My sister and I decided to dive into our own conversation.

My sister was worried about leaving home and did not know what to expect. I tried to give her some tips and guidelines. I asked her what subjects she was taking. She said that she was interested in botany and so was taking classes like biology. I did not have many tips with botany as I was an English teacher, other than a few research papers and essays I had read. I wondered why she wanted to do botany though. I asked why she was interested in such a field and she answered, "Well since flowers are definitely going to heaven, I might as well learn about them. Who knows? Maybe they can be a good role-model for me." We laughed. I remembered this story very well. As Dave drove us home a few days later, I was reminded of it as we passed the flower fields.

I was sixteen at the time and my sister was six. At that time there were specific things my sister liked. She liked dolls, pretty things and playing with hair. We would braid each other's hair in the evening. My sister had somewhat long lovely hair even back then. I became an expert at French and Dutch braids through her as well as inventing my own few tricks. My sister did not do as well on mine, but I did not untie it; I did not want to hurt her feelings. At the end of our braiding session, we would season our creation by planting some flowers here and there that I picked from our garden.

Our neighbor Dave would make fun of me when he saw me watering the plants outside, but I would ignore it. He was eighteen at the time and definitely was not the nicest guy I knew. He liked irritating me and being mean. For some reason I was the only person he ever wanted to victimize. I was annoyed at first but then I learned to ignore it. One day as I was braiding my sister's hair, I spotted Dave watching us. I let it slide, although I was quite astonished that he had not teased me or made some rude remark. He sat there quietly and earnestly. It was strange- the way he looked at me. I began breathing hard. My heart was pounding. Why was he still sitting there? Why couldn't he leave? I glanced at him in a way so as to not make it obvious. He was continually staring at me or so I felt. Maybe he was looking at my braids. Tension rose. I tried to concentrate on my braiding. I had to be careful not to mess this up or I would be made fun of. I looked at Dave. He was still staring and it looked like he was staring more at me than my braid. His face for once was not scornful, but it actually looked somewhat sweet. I caught myself glancing too much and swiftly turned my head away. "Aren't you done yet?" My sister asked impatiently. "Almost!" I quickly replied. I somehow managed to finish it, and it had not turned out too bad. I put in my flowers and thought I would leave, but my sister insisted on doing my hair. Why did she want to embarrass me in front of Dave? More importantly, why had I decided to sit in the garden to do this task where everyone could see us? Then again could I have expected that Dave would creepily watch us like this? I decided to never do this again. My sister braided, and I prayed that she would not make it too unpleasing to the eye. She braided and all the while I tried not to make eye contact with Dave. She finished quickly and ran inside to get the mirror. At that moment, as I was getting up, Dave pulled me towards him. I was startled. Then he gently kissed me on the cheek. "I like you." He said. Finally he put something into my hair and walked away. My sister returned with the mirror. She pointed at the new substance on my head. I looked at the mirror. It was a beautiful red rose that was able to hide the disastrous result of my sister's manipulation of my hair. That day was one I could never forget. Why did Dave do something like that instead of making fun of my hair? I had never expected it.

Over time we began to run out of flowers in our garden, and our demands grew. As I was walking home from school, I decided to take a different route one day. On my way back I saw a rainbow colored ocean. It was a field of flowers that stretched to the west as far as the horizon. Inside beautiful ornate flowers filled my eyes. The ruby red roses looked so delicate and fine that you would want to embrace them if you hadn't known about their thorns. The bluebells formed a vast sea. The blue glittered in the sunlight. All the colors you could imagine enveloped me, shining like jewels- Pinks much prettier than a princess's gown, red's more powerful than a king's robes, blues that replicate the very sky on a bright day, greens much fresher than in a rainforest, yellows as vivid as the sun etc. There were so many flowers like the stars in the sky, except maybe debatably more beautiful. The decorated carpet of flowers made the ostentatious rich seem poor. I almost felt that I had gone to heaven a little early and with a pinch the dream would be over. I walked through like a celebrity on a red carpet. The field was well maintained. No flower had withered. It was like a fairytale. However, when I looked around I could not see who the owner was. I knew I was trespassing, but I didn't want to leave. I wanted to be encircled by these flowers forever. I stayed there in this bliss and saw the beautiful sunset. It made the flowers sparkle and shine in an even more divine fashion. I was definitely in heaven, but I was so caught up in this moment that I became unaware of the time. And like an alarm or a reminder, Dave arrived.

"What are you doing here? Do you know how long we have been searching for you?"

I quickly got up. It was dark. Oh no! My parents were going to kill me. I got onto Dave's bike hesitantly. Ever since his confession, I had been shy whenever I was around him. I realized that I would have to hold onto him as well. What should I do? What would he think? I somehow overcame these difficulties and went back to the topic of how I was going to face my parents. The foreshadowing of their scolding made me decide not to think about it and try to preserve the calmness as long as it could last. But then realizing my situation with Dave ruined the calmness. We didn't say a word to each other. It was really awkward.

"Do you hate me?" he suddenly asked. I didn't know exactly how to respond. Why did he feel that way?

"No... Of course not... why do you think like that?" I stuttered with my response. I could not even talk to him. It was embarrassing.

"Then why do you keep avoiding me these days? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no... you did nothing wrong! It's just..." I stopped. How was I going to say 'it's because you kissed me'?

"It's just what?"

"Nothing." He was silent for a minute then he said,

"If my confession caused you so much trouble, then you can just pretend I never said it in the first place. We can go back to how we used to be and continue our normal relationship."

What was he saying? How could I just pretend that it never happened? Was there some magic spell to make me forget everything? Did he think that it was that easy to just reverse everything and return to normal?

"But that's not fair is it?" I didn't know what I was saying. It quickly came out of my mouth. He stopped the bike for a second and looked back. He was shocked too.

"What do you mean?"

"I knew that you were sincere about your confession. It wouldn't be right if I were to just ignore it as something insignificant. I knew you were serious, and it takes courage to do what you did. The least I can do is answering your request honestly. It's just that it was too sudden and I was shocked. I didn't know how to respond. That's why I acted how I did.

"Please just give me more time to think about it. I never thought that you would feel this way about me so I had never considered it. Can you wait a little before my reply?"

He had turned back and started driving again. I knew he was smiling and this relieved me, although I couldn't really see his face. His voice told me so when he said "Take your time. I never meant to pressure you. I'll be waiting."

I smiled too. We didn't say a word afterwards but the mood was lighter. As we were returning, there suddenly came an emergence of fireflies. They flocked around us. They were like tiny light bulbs except maybe more fluorescent. I wanted to hold them. Dave stopped his bike.

"I think they're coming from there. Let's take a look." We went into the woods and it was scarier now that it was dark. I quickly heard some flapping of wings. I was startled but I tried to hide it. I didn't want to annoy Dave. Then finally we reached somewhere in the middle and we saw a swarm filled with them. It was stunning. These were stars on earth. I wanted to hold one and as I held out my hand I caught one. "Dave, look!" I called him over. He stood next to me and I could hear his breathing. The firefly flew away but he still stood there. I didn't know what to do. Then he turned my head towards him. He leaned in closer. I understood what was going to happen next, but I didn't move. I did not try to stop it and I didn't know what I should do.

However, right before anything happened, Dave's phone rang. It was my parents wondering if he had found me. I didn't know why but for some reason I felt disappointed. I wished my parents hadn't called, and I couldn't explain this feeling. Dave was a lot nicer to me these days. Did that make me develop a soft corner towards him?

"We need to hurry. You're parents are really worried. They've been asking me what's taking us so long."

And like that we reached home to an unwelcoming riot of scolding. It made me really wish I was still with the fireflies. After a while, it subsided and I realized there was still that pile of homework that I needed to get through. But somehow I couldn't concentrate. My thoughts drifted to Dave. I tried to bring my mind back under control but it kept drifting. Why was this happening? Then my sister crept in. She looked mad.

"What's the matter my lovely?" She just folded her arms and sat no matter what I said. I had to use my last tactic.

"Well, it looks like we'll have to call the Tickle Monster now." She quickly realized what was going to happen but it was too late. I began to tickle her and she began to giggle yelling Stop! Stop! I finally stopped. "Now tell me, what's the matter?"

"I'm mad at sis."

"Mad! Why?"

"We didn't braid today." While I had thought that I had saved myself from embarrassment again in front of Dave, my poor sister had been looking forward to our daily routine. Then I remembered the flower field.

"You know what. Big sis found something today."

"Really! What is it?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Why not?"

"Why are you asking? Aren't you still mad at me?"

"No no, I'm not mad at sis. I love you sis."

"Really now, that's not what I heard a moment ago."

"I was just kidding. I'm not mad."

"Really, then will you give me a kiss." She quickly stood up on the bed and kissed my cheek. Then I pointed to the other one and she kissed it too. So I placed her on my lap. "Now will you tell me?" She asked. She was so cute like a little kitten that I almost died on the inside.

"Sorry, I can't tell you." I tried to maintain my seriousness.

"Why, is sis still mad at me?"

"No."

"Then why can't you say it."

"It's a surprise!"

Her face suddenly lit up. "A surprise!"

"Yes, but you're going to have to wait 'til Saturday though." She frowned. That was too much, but out of desperation she agreed. The days followed with her asking us every day if it was Saturday or not. However, on Saturday I was grounded. As I had not been concentrating on my studies, my grades dropped and my parents were mad.

My poor sister had to wait another week. But very soon, Saturday arrived again. This time I took my sister to the field filled with jewels. I looked around to see if anybody was noticing us. We were trespassing after all. Nobody was there so I told my sister to sit down before anybody came. The flowers were somewhat tall and could hide us. My sister was amazed. It was like she was in Candy Land or something. She was ecstatic. She ran around stroking and picking the flowers. Then what I had expected happened. She was tempted by the ruby red roses and cut her finger. She began wailing. I tried to console her by calling her Sleeping Beauty and everything as I tried to stop the bleeding. I should have brought a Band-Aid. But the mood lightened soon, and we began braiding. Then we decided to take some home for a flower bouquet. It was my sister's idea and I wondered how I would lie to my parents that we hadn't stolen this.

As we picked the flowers, my sister asked me a rather odd question. "Flowers are really pretty aren't they? There must be lots in heaven. Do flowers go to heaven, sis?"

That was a strange question, and frankly I didn't know how to respond. When I said I didn't know my sister just kept staring at me. Little kids had this belief that those that were older knew everything. They had that sort of respect for you. You were perfect and blameless in their eyes.

"I don't see why they shouldn't." I said at last. "Flowers cannot make mistakes like us. They only serve us. They provide us fresh air and are pleasing to our eyes. They even become delicious fruits for us to eat. I guess flowers could cause you allergies, but that's not their fault since it doesn't affect everyone."

"Flowers are wonderful, but how come they don't make mistakes while we do. Why can't we be like flowers too?"

There came another one of her questions. I didn't know how to respond now. Why was she so curious about things like this? Couldn't she just pick and enjoy the flowers? I thought and I finally said, "The job that flowers have is not as difficult as ours. We need to take care of the flowers by watering them. If we don't take care of them, they won't survive. Like this we have many things to take care of like our pets, our children and so on. God has created us to be special. We, unlike flowers, have the ability to think about everything we do. By thinking, sometimes we make wrong decisions. Like this we make mistakes. That's why we cannot be like flowers."

Kids had one benefit. Although they asked many questions, they would easily believe you if you're confident in what you say. My sister quickly believed me and agreed. She didn't ask any more questions but finally said, "Flowers must definitely go to heaven. They are so lovely."

I nodded my head, but as we walked back, I considered it. I was right. I decided. Flowers must definitely go to heaven. Where else would they go? We visited the field a few times but gradually stopped as my sister grew out of her obsession with flowers. I also didn't have much time since my high school life was ending.

I later learned that the field was owned by an old, lonely woman. She seemed to have liked us coming there, which is why she never complained. When I went home for the graduation, my mom said that she had recently passed away. Her sons, who had never bothered to take care of her when she was alive, divided up the land and sold it. A company bought it and is now constructing a mall there. As Dave and I drove home, we passed the field. What used to be beautiful and divine now seemed like a messy graveyard. Loud noises yelled at us as construction continued. I wondered. How can man destroy such a divine blessing that God had given them? Every day I feel we make more and more mistakes and drift further and further away from God. The flowers, however, I think will now be blooming for eternity in heaven.

THE END