Bryan's POV

I strolled out of the guild hall, whistling a random tune. I was in a pretty sweet mood, for good reason. I had completed all my chores and training for the day, I didn't have any quests to worry about, the other guilds were leaving us alone, and Jakey had agreed to go out for some dinner and a walk together, one on one at 6:45, and I couldn't be happier. 

Of course, I had told Jakey not to consider it a date or anything, but I kinda wondered if it was. I mean, two people going out to dinner and a late-night walk alone? Your first impression is definitely of a date, even if it's two guys. Plus, it wasn't any secret that I was gay.

I kept walking back in the direction of my house. I spotted Relena and Kay practicing their transformation and battling it out, while Jakey and Lo'Pho cheered them on and stopped. Jakey threw his head back and laughed everytime Kay changed into something small and ridiculous to avoid Relena. He was so cute when he laughed. 

After the little spar was done, both of the ladies changed back into human form and Kay hugged Jakey. He grinned and patted her hair. Even from this distance, I could see them both blushing.

I tried not to feel disappointed. Both of them were perfectly in their rights, even if I did like Jakey as more than a friend. They could like each other, no problem. Yet, I still felt the tears coming.

I started walking faster towards my house and then broke out into a run. I got to my house within ten minutes. Instead of going inside though, I sprinted behind the house.

I fell to my knees by my mom's grave. The tears were coming fast and strong at this point. I felt so stupid for thinking that Jakey would like me. He was so cute, funny, sweet, caring, compassionate, and affectionate. What was I? A rich fire dragon slayer that couldn't even hold his tears in?

Pathetic.

Useless.

A waste of space.

A burden.

Slut.

Weak.

Jakey will never love you.

All these words filled my head. The tears came even faster now. I wanted to puke. Were all the words true? Was I weak? Useless? Pathetic? A slut? A burden? A waste of space?

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Yes.

I stood up and went inside. I went into my room and opened my bedside drawer. Inside was a few papers, a pencil, an eraser, and...a blood-stained knife. I grabbed the knife and rolled up my sleeve. I had plenty of scars from my previous cuttings. It was time to add another.

The job was done quickly. Blood trickled down my forearm, more than usual. I quickly grabbed a bandage and patched it up. If anyone saw, I would just say I burned myself accidentally. I returned the knife to my drawer. All the evidence was gone, aside from a slight drop of blood on my floor. The time was 6:37.

It was time to put that fake smile on my face again and go out to meet Jakey.

(My gosh, I'm depressing. This is sadly relatable, in more ways than one. :()