🌺Flower Showers🌺
~A Bakudeku Love Story~
20 - I Know
Word Count: 2,029
⚠️Warnings⚠️: Profanity, Panic Attack(s), Paranoia, slight bullying, depressing references,
Information: New BakuDeku One-Shot Book! Go check it out if you want too!

🌺Previously On Flower Showers🌺

     Izuku glared at Katsuki, "After I cut my hands more I couldn't handle the sight and tried to wash it off, but I freaked out and my chest hurt so I collapsed and everything went dark"

Katsuki looked at Izuku with a worried fixed gaze. "If anything and I mean anything changes or if something is wrong, fuckin' tell me immediately next time. I understand if you don't feel comfortable saying anything, then don't. But please don't leave me on the receding end of a problem. Just... shit — hug me! Hold my hand or some shit because being casted aside from you isn't what I want," Katsuki explains, slight frustration in his voice.

Izuku was ultimately feeling shitty. He hadn't realized how much his problems actually affected Katsuki as well. He didn't want to worry him. Thus, he was really worried to tell him when something was wrong. Katsuki insisted that he tell him though, and that is what Izuku would try and do.

     Izuku and Katsuki scooted closer to each other on the bed, and Izuku set the ice pack down. He leaned his good side on Katsuki's shoulder and Katsuki tensed a bit before relaxing, wrapping his arms around Izuku.

     "Your hugs are so warm..." Izuku says before closing his eyes, falling asleep to Katsuki's scent.
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The room was bathed in a orange sunlight, the blue curtains painting the walls and the floor below. The breeze through the window icy in the warm room. He snuggled up to the warm body that happen to be with him underneath the blue and green blankets. Izuku opened his eyes and they widened. Izuku was laying with Katsuki. His body was so close you could feel the heat radiating off his body. It felt so nice Izuku snuggled closer and Katsuki brought his hand towards Izuku's hair. He combed through his with his hand as Izuku moved closer and breathed in deeply. Katsuki smelled so nice.

     Katsuki's other arm was wrapped around Izuku's shoulder. Katsuki's chin was resting on Izuku's head, something he's started to love about the boy. He loved his soft curly hair under his chin. "Morning..." Katsuki mumbled and Izuku hummed, hugging Katsuki's warm body.

     "You're so warm..."

     "And your too damn cold. Get up, we have school today," Katsuki says as he got up and stood. Izuku groaned and wrapped himself in the blankets, hiding under them. Katsuki looked towards Izuku and he couldn't tell if he should be pissed or laughing. "C'mon Deku, you have to go back to class. This is the first day back..."

     The room became unbearable quiet, and Katsuki had been wanting to go back to his room to change, but he didn't want to leave Izuku.

     Izuku got up from his bed and yawned. Katsuki's mouth dropped because he looked like the most adorable kitten and Katsuki wondered if Izuku had been a Neko all this time. Izuku looked up towards Katuski to see his alarmed face. "Whats wrong?! Is there something in my face?!" Izuku says frantically.

     "What the hell are you?! A cat?" Katsuki asked and Izuku burst out laughing. Katsuki started laughing, and even though it wasn't that funny, the two kept laughing until their chests hurt. "Get dressed, I'll make breakfast, and we can eat on the way to school,"

     Izuku smiles and Katsuki walked out to go to his room. Izuku's smile grew wider as he felt giddy and started to dress in his uniform. His hand hurt a bit, but it wasn't a horrible pain. It was manageable, so he didn't worry about it. He was worried about school. He had missed so much, and everyone had to know that he had hanahaki.

     As he he walked out of his room the hallway was pitch black. His heart suddenly dropped and then he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up. Iida. "Are you alright?" he asked.

     "Yeah. I guess I'm a little nervous about going back to class..." Izuku explained, looking back down the hallway. It was light.

     "That makes sense, it would only be natural for you to be nervous. I think anyone would be, but your friends are here for you. Especially me. Come to us anytime you need alright?"

     "Thank you Iida, I couldn't have asked for a better friend," Izuku says and Iida smiled brightly. Iida has been a really good friend, and would continue to be one.

     Izuku walked into the kitchen and saw Katsuki. He had made sandwiches for breakfast so the two could eat and walk. Izuku smiled as he knew the two would be walking together. Izuku walked over to Katsuki and Katsuki gave him a side hug, rubbing up and down his arm, almost knowing Izuku was freaking out a bit.

      "You good?" Katsuki asked, keeping Izuku close into his side. Izuku nodded and Katsuki sternly looked at him. Izuku took a deep breath and Katsuki's face softened. Katsuki wasn't going to ask anymore questions, at least Izuku was trying to communicate with him about his issues instead of keeping him locked out.

The two walked out, eating the sandwiches Katsuki made. They didn't talk much, but their hands brushed lightly against each other ever so often. Little sparks of heat bloomed inside the two boys everyone they came in contact.

     As they entered the school, Izuku got a few stares, and he anxiously looked away. He heard whispering voices and took a deep breath, trying to ignore whatever they were talking about.

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     Before he knew it, they had made it to the classroom. Class started soon so they took their seats and Aizawa happen to be early that day. As everyone piled up, they said hello to Izuku, happy that he was back to join them. He still sadly couldn't participate in any combat or endurance training, so he would have to sit.

     And do nothing.

     That, Izuku hated. He wanted to be active. He was supposed to be a hero for crying out loud! How is he going to do that if he is just sitting around? He wanted action, but that had to wait for his recovery.

     "Okay, lets get class started," Mr. Aizawa says as he started explaining what they would do. A work out day.

     Izuku almost burst out laughing. He couldn't train.

     Izuku didn't expect for this to hit him so harshly, especially after everything he's been through. He barely had hanahaki even for a week, and he was dying like a wild fire sparking in a forest.

     Izuku could only sigh as he watched everyone get up and go to the changing rooms. He had followed Aizawa with a notebook and pencil outside, listening to what Aizawa told him to do: Sit and take notes, you'll be on your feet soon enough.

     Izuku couldn't agree. He wanted too, but he couldn't. He felt as if his love and passion had been the thing trying to kill him. He loves being a hero just as much, so, did he have to stop caring for things to get remotely back to normal?

     The more Izuku thought about it, the more his brain swirled in a hurricane. He won't be the same after what happened. Sure, he's been to the hospital more times than he could count, but now? Now he felt as if he lost something, and gained something just as great. He felt different, and not like his old self.

     He stood by Aizawa and the two sat down in chairs. Thank you for the chairs, Aizawa!

     Everyone did their workouts, and Class B happen to be outside as well. Izuku didn't particularly care, but once Monoma started making weird hand jesters towards Izuku and started whispering like the kids in the hallway, Izuku couldn't help but hear.

     The whispers were incoherent, and he hated how he had been given glances every second by another peer.

Izuku looked down, feeling more piercing eyes and he flipped to a blank page. He started writing notes on how to use quirks in different climates. Every word he wrote, one planted itself in his mind. Hanahaki happen to be the first word.

Weak

Scribble scribble.

Look at him.

Scribble scribble.

Didn't he have hanahaki?

What type of idiot loves someone that much?

Shut up Monoma!

I feel bad for him, he is really nice. At least he is okay now.

Who cares?

Get back to work!

I heard he wanted to die, can you believe that?

Izuku dropped his pen on the floor and it happen to grab everyone's attention. His breathing had become heavy and now he was very embarrassed. He felt like a fluffy duckling trying to be a swan. The moment he walked in the school had already told him the day would only get worse.

Izuku shakily picked up his pen and felt a nudge on his shoulder. Izuku looked up at Mr. Aizawa. He raised and eyebrow and Izuku nodded a bit and smiled shyly. "You okay, problem child?"

Izuku nodded his head and Aizawa looked back at class B, glaring at them. Everyone turned around, feeling like they were about to get their asses beat if they didn't.

"Don't let them get to you. I know it's hard right now, but you'll get through it. You can go to the counselor if need be, you may want to try talking to someone,"

"No one will understand. Who has ever had hanahaki here?" Izuku says. His mind slipped past Todoroki before he said those words. Once he did say them, his eyes shifted towards the blue and red boy. Todoroki was looking at him as well, obviously concern written all over his face. Izuku smiled happily and Todoroki managed a small one.

Aizawa sighs and yells at Mineta for hanging around the girls too much, "I'm not sure about the rest of the faculty, but I know someone who had it,"

Izuku looked at him and Aizawa closed someone's quirk off. There was then a large crash and then laughter. "You do?" Izuku asked curiously.

"All Might,"

"REALLY?!" Izuku exclaimed, not knowing how to react. "How come... he never said anything?" Izuku questioned himself out loud.

"Not a lot of heroes, or people for that matter, confess to having such a predicament. He probably just wanted to keep everyone's concern down, but he doesn't have it anymore," Aizawa states.

"I wanted to die,"

There was an alarming pause, and Izuku almost didn't realize the words he uttered. Aizawa understood what he meant, but that didn't mean his concern went down with the realization. "How do you feel now?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I still feel that way..."

Aizawa glanced at Izuku with worry filled eyes. His expression still stiff, but his eyes said more words than he would express. "Kid, you haven't self harmed or anything, have you?"

Izuku was thrown off by the question. He should have expected such a thing, but the moment the words left Aizawa's lips, he couldn't help but hesitate. Izuku has not hurt himself, but that didn't mean his mind started to wander down that corridor. "No," Izuku finally said, keeping his gaze away from Aizawa.

Izuku wanted to maintain eye contact but he couldn't, not with Aizawa's fixed gaze. Izuku felt like Aizawa would think he was lying now. His heart started to beat faster, and his chest started to hurt. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes and he wanted to cry. No surprise there, but he hadn't felt anything in so long his emotions were starting to overwhelm him.

Aizawa wrapped and arm around Izuku to keep him balanced. To keep his mind in the overworld instead of inside itself. "I believe you, kid. Just ignore the others,"

     "Easier said than done..." Izuku mumbled. Aizawa still heard him. He ruffled the kids hair and shouted out to his group once more.

     "I know  kid, I  know"
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