🌺Flower Showers🌺
~A Bakudeku Love Story~
19 - Hugs
Word Count: 3,892
⚠️Warnings⚠️: Profanity, Panic Attack(s), Paranoia, Fluff
Information: Izuku had problems, but it's okay because don't we all? XD😂

🌺Previously On Flower Showers🌺

"Kaccha—"

"Are you okay?" Katsuki cut in. Izuku was a little surprised with the question.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Izuku asked, clearly confused. He really was.

"I was just checking," Katsuki said.

"You had to come all the way to my room to check?" Izuku asked, a small smile forming on his face.

"YES!" Katsuki exclaimed. "Just... call me, if you need anything. Goodnight, Deku," Katsuki says as he kisses Izuku's forehead. He lingered there for a bit, before releasing his hold on the boy.

"Goodnight, Kacchan," Izuku whispered. Katsuki still heard it and pinched Izuku's cheek before leaving, hearing a groan of annoyance from the nerd. He laughed as he walked out, closing the door.

Izuku sighed heavily, now being able to go to sleep satisfied. He walked over to his bed and got under the covers carefully. Making sure he wouldn't hurt his wounds. He closed his eyes and went to sleep. That's the thing about trauma. It hits you when you least expect it.
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Katsuki woke up, just a bit before his alarm clock. He pushed it so the sound wouldn't go off, and he got out of bed. He walked out of his room sluggishly, and walked to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and washed his face. He smiled as he remembered him and Izuku on his desk in his room. "We really have to stop meeting like this," a voice interrupted.

Katsuki whipped around and scowled. "Fuckin' half n' half," Katsuki muttered as he wrapped the towel around his neck.

"It never fails. I always catch you smiling,"

"Stop doing that shit! It's annoying as hell," Katsuki demands.

"I can't help that I'm prone to do so. Mostly it's you who just does it on accordance,"

"That's it!" Katsuki shouts before Iida interrupted. He got in between them and Katsuki wanted to beat both of their asses.

He walked out furiously so he could go make himself some breakfast. He made fish, salmon, as he just really wanted to eat some damn fish that morning.

     As he ate everyone else walked in and he groaned in annoyance at everyone's unwanted attention. He gets up and cleans swiftly before getting ready to leave.

      Katsuki walked to school, and made it into the classroom dreading the day that would carry on. Everyone started to pile into the classroom and he just waited for the day to start. The absent feeling of having no one behind him messed with his head.

     Izuku had been gone for far too long. Katsuki wanted that damn nerd sitting behind him, even if he "hated" his guts. Or, at least, used to. Class starts and this wouldn't usually happen, but it does.

     His mind wanders off to yesterday's dinner. He set down the All Might action figure.

     Aizawa explains that they would work on endurance training today and tomorrow they would focus on fighting in different climates.

     He walks in front of Izuku intimidatingly and watches as Izuku nervously walked back before bumping the desk. Katsuki stopped just a few inches away.

     The two still didn't acknowledge the All Might action figure falling to the side when the desk shook slightly.

     He grabbed Izuku's thighs and pulls them up and Izuku braces his hands on the desk. He was propped on the desk as Katsuki walks in between them. He was closer to Izuku's face.

     He remembered Izuku's smell. It's not like he's never smelled him before, but being that close made his body buzz with a faint feeling he's only ever felt towards the nerd.

     He remembered Izuku's labored breathes near his ear and that was a turn on on its own. Katsuki was even more intrigued when Izuku had gripped his hair and pulled. Izuku pulled.

     Katsuki can still feel the little sensation on the back of his head. He still felt the heat from Izuku's body as Izuku scooted closer to him.

     When Izuku moaned in his ear the first time sent sparks flying in every vain Katsuki thought he had. He wasn't prepared for when the nerd pulled them so close that Izuku practically fused them together. Izuku closed in on Katsuki, his thighs squeezing Katsuki's and Izuku's voice.

     Izuku's voice was angelic. For a boy, he didn't sound like a girl, but it was high-pitched and euphoric. Katsuki wanted to hear more of it.

     Sadly his thoughts were interrupted as class was over. He hadn't paid attention at all. He didn't care, he knew the material anyway.

     Katsuki went to his other classes and couldn't wait for Izuku to be back where he was. He still needed to prove to be number one. They were rivals after all.

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     Izuku had woken up with a small headache. His bed felt nice, and he was glad to have the day in, but he dreaded school the next day. He wouldn't be able to participate for awhile. Just sit down and take notes.

     Izuku didn't mind taking notes, he was a pro at it at this point. Taking notes all his life definitely proved intelligence and accuracy. He didn't mind it at all. But he did want to use his quirk. He was instructed not too, by All Might actually. Considering his body needed healing. Izuku hadn't thought that All Might would tell him to not use his quirk.

     Speaking of All Might, Izuku hadn't seen him lately. So that's another good reason to go to school. He would be able to talk to his mentor.

     Izuku stood up and conveniently glanced in the corner of his room. He stopped abruptly, looking at the trash can. He stared at it with intensity and whatever was inside that trash can shook him to his core like an earthquake.

     Izuku's heart quickened in pace and he grabbed his trash and swiftly took it outside. On the way there he stubbed his toe and felt embarrassed, even though nobody was there to witness the discomfort.

     Izuku ran back inside the dorms and took a sigh of relief. He told himself he could handle this.

     Why run away from a plastic bag filled with dried blood and dead flowers?

     Izuku took a deep breath and walked to the fridge. When he opened the fridge he was startled and slipped on his socks. He caught himself on the floor. There was a bowl of red jello. Izuku thought he saw blood but it wasn't.

     When he stood up, he might as well have stayed on the floor because he collapsed to his knees once he saw the flowers in it.

     His breathing was labored and his vision was spotty. He knew it was jello, but the flowers wouldn't disappear.

     They were real.

     Izuku wanted to scream but his voice was caught in his throat as he curled in on himself, flopping to the side.

He wanted to scream. But he still couldn't. He didn't know what to do. His mind was screaming at him, but he didn't comprehend the words thrown his way.

      The coldness of the floor took over his body as he felt nausea take place. He stood up and stumbled to the bathroom, like a drunk on roller-skates. Izuku made it to the bathroom and threw up. There wasn't any blood, nor flowers. But that's not how Izuku's hanahaki had started. He had actually thrown up bile and food.

     That fear settled into his skin the more he stared at the content in the ceramic bowl. He flushed the toilet and got rid of the taste in his mouth by washing it. Brushing until his gums felt tender and his teeth hurt.

     Izuku managed to eat, lightly, after that. He avoided the fridge all together. He didn't want to see the jello in there.

     As he was on his bed, staring at the ceiling, he couldn't help but feel bored. But that gave his mind the opportunity to intrude that boredom.

      Izuku felt pathetic. He couldn't look at flowers without freaking out. He couldn't look away when they were vibrant. He could only turn his gaze when met with a red substance. What type of hero is scared of that shit?

     Izuku groans loudly. If anyone had been near his room they would have no doubt heard his distressed complaint. Izuku felt a burning sensation in his chest.

     He didn't have hanahaki.

     Izuku squeezes his eyes shut and took a few deep breaths, trying to think of anything else but hanahaki.

     He didn't have it.

     Izuku sat up and opened his desk drawer, looking for a notebook. He moved everything aside, trying to find what he was looking for. He couldn't find it in that one drawer. He shut it harshly. He moved to the bottom one.

     He doesn't have hanahaki.

     Izuku looked through that drawer and still couldn't find the blank notebooks. They were still covered in plastic, and in various colors. Izuku was frustrated at this point. He slammed the drawer shut. The sound rattled his walls as he moved on top of his desk.

     He moved papers and other notebooks but he couldn't find the ones he wanted. Izuku felt tears prick his eyes. So pathetic.

     He doesn't have it.

     Izuku bit his lip harshly, and started to peel the skin off slightly. Nervous and fidgety as he tried to calm his nerves. Izuku looked at his trash can. Replaced with a new bag and completely emptied, sending a hard gaze his way. Izuku looked away but he almost felt like that inanimate object could spring to life and torture him.

     Izuku was hating himself.

     The boy paced around his room. Not for any particular reason, he just felt like spiraling. His mind was off somewhere and he was stuck looking through the woods to find it. Only to figure out his mind was somewhere else.

     He had been pacing for about an hour, and he had thrown his other notebooks across his room in rage. He had kicked his trash can, until it left a marking on the wall.

     Izuku felt that burning itch crawl back. His skin was calling to him. He wanted to itch, he wanted to squeeze. He gripped his hair tightly and pulled as he sat down, panting. What the hell was happening?

     Izuku couldn't understand what he was doing. He lost all sense of self hours ago. And he leaned his head back, smacking it into the wall accidentally.

     Now he just felt like an idiot. The vibration to his head wasn't unpleasant though, temporarily keeping him back in course. But he started to start off again and reached for his phone.

He took a deep breath and searched his contacts, immediately finding the person. He pressed call.

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Katsuki was in the changing room, everyone changing out of their costumes and getting ready to head back to the dorms. He felt a buzz in his pocket and took it out. He still wore his hero pants and boots but his shirt was off.

Katsuki growled and fished his phone out of his baggy pocket, he saw the caller read Deku.

He answered.

"What?" Katsuki asked slightly annoyed, but still curious.

"H-hey! S-sorry for calling all of a sudden. You said to call if I needed..." Izuku whispered at the end. Katsuki's eyes widened, automatically assuming something wasn't right.

He used his shoulder to keep his phone near his ear as he took his boots off and grabbed his pants swiftly. "Did something happen?" Katsuki asked quietly, trying not to show concern because people still lingered around him.

Todoroki notices and watched Katsuki suspiciously. "N-no, not exactly," Izuku stutters.

Katsuki slipped on his pants as he held his phone in his hand. He then brought the phone back to his ear and zipped his pants before grabbing his shirt. "Dammit Deku, I need you to be more specific," Katsuki growled as he buttoned one of his buttons.

"Midoriya!?"

"Oooo! Bakugo is talking on the phone with Midoriya!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Katsuki yells at Kirishima and Sero. People perked up and Katsuki fumbled with a few more buttons before shoving stuff in his locker and getting out of that hell hole.

"Deku, are you still there?" Katsuki asked as he started walking back to the dorms quickly, avoiding everyone who he was sure following him. He didn't get a reply which set him over the edge. "Deku?" Katsuki asked but he didn't hear anything. He did hear glass shatter and a strangled sob.

He bolted.

Katsuki was full on sprinting towards the dorms. Some people glancing his way like he was crazy - which he was.

His legs pumped, and his muscles gave him the momentum to push forward, and even though they had endurance training today, he wouldn't let it stop him from reaching Izuku. He wasn't going to lose. He wasn't.

     Katsuki made it back to the dorms and yelled for Deku. He flung his backpack into a corner and started searching the area. "DEKU?!" Katsuki yells again and there was no reply. He ran into the kitchen, seeing nothing. He ran into the hallways and saw nothing. He was about to head to the other section when someone interrupted his frantic search.

     "What's happening?" Todoroki asks calmly but obviously concerned.

     "I can't find Deku! Somethings wrong, I heard something shatter!" Katsuki exclaimed and Todoroki didn't hesitate to help search for the green headed boy. Katsuki took his side of the wing and then Todoroki went towards Izuku's.

     He saw Izuku's door cracked open and opened it slightly, just in case for anything he may or may not want to see. His eyes widened as he saw the passed out Izuku with blood on his hands and glass on the floor. There also seemed to be a pool of water. Todoroki yelled for Katsuki as he rushed to Izuku's side.

     First he checked for a pulse, and there was one. Thank All Might.

     He then inspected Izuku's hands. There had been slight lacerations and Todoroki sighed in relief. It wasn't anything major. Katsuki came running in and his eyes widened at the scene. The room was dark and the pale sunlight whispered through the curtains.

     The ground near Izuku's hand had been covered in blood, but it looked worse than it actually was. Katsuki walked to the other side, making sure to avoid the mess on the floor. He squats down and presses a hand on Izuku's forehead, feeling more comfortable knowing he's still alive.

     Katsuki then places his ear up to Izuku's mouth to make sure he was actually breathing. Katsuki sighed heavily, and in an annoyed caring manner. "Fuck... Dammit! Icy-hot, get the bandages. I'll make sure this idiot doesn't die on us suddenly. And I'll clean this shit up,"

     Todoroki didn't question him, and stood up to get medical supplies. Katsuki grabbed a few pillows and set them under Izuku's feet, making sure his feet were elevated. Katsuki's heart was still racing, watching Izuku like a hawk, not letting his eyes off the damn nerd.

     Katsuki grabbed Izuku's trash can and started throwing away the pieces of glass that has fallen. "Kacchan..?" Izuku croaked out. Izuku tried to sit up but Katsuki pushed him back down.

     "Don't fucking move. How's your head feel! Did ya' hit it?" Katsuki questioned as Izuku hissed when he moved his left hand.

     "I don't remember," Izuku says and that alerted Katsuki slightly. Todoroki walked back in and thankfully with paper towels.

     "I think we should run his hand under water, just in case for any infections. But I do have a concern for prying eyes," Todoroki suggested.

     "Screw them. Let them ask questions, but I'll bite. Hard."

     Katsuki grabbed Izuku's other arm and started to help him sit up. Izuku instantly hisses as his head started to throb and he gripped it with his hand. "Did you hit your head?" Todoroki asked.

     "I don't remember..." Izuku says as he tries to stand.

     "That's not a good sign..." Todoroki says.

     "Why are there pillows under me?" Izuku asked, as he finally stood up wobbling a bit.

     "To keep that damn blood flowing through your idiot brain. I elevated them dumbass," Katsuki explained gruffly.

     Katsuki walked Izuku to the bathroom as Todoroki kept everyone's attention away from them.

     Katsuki and Izuku walked in and Kaminari's eyes widened. "What happened?!" he exclaims.

     "This dumbass cut his hand. And then passed out," Katsuki's says as he yanked Izuku to the sink.

     "Are you okay?" he kindly asked and Izuku smiled softly, trying not to wince at his pained state.

     "Yeah, I'm good. Thank you for asking, but I'm alright," Izuku says and Katsuki waits for a warm temperature until he brings Izuku's hand under the water. The pain wasn't bad, but Izuku did clench his teeth slightly at the sting.

     Izuku watched as the color of the water turned pink, and then red. Flowing effortlessly down the drain. His eyes widened in horror and he felt like he would pass out again. He wanted to pull his hand away. He didn't want to watch his own blood fall down, down, down.

     His head was spinning. His head didn't help because it had started hurting from the morning, but passing out made it worse. His neck was a bit sore as well, making him feel completely useless.

     Useless...

     Weak...

     Deku...

     "Deku?" Katsuki says as he turned the water off and looked at Izuku. Izuku's face was pink. Not in the embarrassed or nervous shade, but the one that he's seen too many times. Izuku was on the verge of crying. "Deku, whoa, why are you crying?!" he asked baffled.

     Izuku sniffed and blinked, letting a tear fall down his cheek as Katsuki grabbed paper towels and put pressure on Izuku's wounds. Izuku didn't say anything but Katsuki could tell something was wrong.

     The two silently walk back to Izuku's dorm room, Katsuki still holding the paper towels around Izuku's hand, some blood bleeding through. He sat Izuku down, and reached for the aid kit. He removed the paper towel and tossed it into the trash can.

     Katsuki then lightly dabbed healing ointment on Izuku's wound and wrapped them up in bandages. Lucky, the cuts weren't deep, and they would be fine after this treatment, but Katsuki was still worrying about all the other problems. Katsuki finished, and threw everything else away, setting the medical stuff on Izuku's desk. It was then he realized how much All Might stuff really had been taken down from his room.

     How papers were scattered, as well as pencils. Notebooks thrown all over the place and Todoroki must have cleaned the stains on the floor. "Deku..." Katsuki started as Izuku looked up at him with a 'yes Kacchan.'

      "What happened?"

     "I don't remember!" Izuku exclaims. Katsuki takes his hand and cups the back of Izuku's head. Izuku was confused and slightly worried.

     Katsuki moves his hand towards the right side of Izuku's head applying more pressure. He moved to the left and Izuku's body jerks as he gasped and placed his hand over Katsuki's. "I'm getting you ice. Don't move."

     As Katsuki walked to get ice Mina came rushing over. "There's our jackass!"

     "Excuse ME?!" Katsuki yelled as everyone else laughed.

     "We need you to cook dinner tonight,"

     "No, the hell?" Katsuki says as he walked over to the freezer. He grabbed an ice pack and Sero was close to him. He scowled at him and shoved him aside.

     "C'mon man! You're the best cook, and we need more ingredients. You can practically whip up anything from anything!" Sero exclaimed.

     "Dammit, if I do this will you SHUT UP?!" Katsuki questioned harshly. His squad nodded, and a few of his other peers as well. "Fine! Don't ask me again!" Katsuki yells and they all cheer as he walked away. When Katsuki got back he saw Izuku picking up his notebooks. "I thought I told you to not move," Katsuki warned and Izuku places his notebooks on his desk.

     Izuku sat back down on his bed and Katsuki sat next to Izuku placing the ice pack over the small bump that formed on Izuku's head. Izuku held it in place and Katsuki sighed frustrated. "I'm sorry..."

     "Stop apologizing. Tell me what happened," Katsuki says as he looked at Izuku.

     "I'm not really sure. All I remember is going to the fridge to eat something and then..." Izuku paused as Katsuki's brows furrowed more. "There was this bowl of red jello. And it had flowers in it! Flowers! Who adds flowers to their jello?!" Izuku exclaims and Katsuki laughed a bit. Izuku smiled a bit too before continuing, "I slipped on my socks—"

     "Please tell me you didn't hit your head more than once!" Katsuki growled and Izuku laughed a genuine happy laugh.

     "No, but I shouldn't have gotten back up because I saw the flowers at that point and fell on my knees,"

     "So that's why they're bruised?!" Katsuki questioned, now knowing how Izuku was all battered up. Izuku looked down and just noticed his knees. His eyes widened and Katsuki rolled his. This dumbass.

     "I went to my room and had a weird mental episode—"

     "What?" Katsuki interrupted, staring at Izuku differently.

     "I had an episode—"

     "I told you to call me!" Katsuki says in disbelief.

     "I did!" Izuku protested frantically.

     "Not soon enough! God dammit Deku! I don't want you hurting yourself again!" Katsuki says burring his head in his palms. "What happened when you did call me?"

     "I'm not sure honestly. All I know is that I had a cup of water to try and calm down and then my mind went somewhere else and I cut myself on paper, dropping my cup," Izuku explains, "then I tried to pick up the glass—"

     "Dumbass,"

     Izuku glared at Katsuki, "After I cut my hands more I couldn't handle the sight and tried to wash it off, but I freaked out and my chest hurt so I collapsed and everything went dark"

Katsuki looked at Izuku with a worried fixed gaze. "If anything and I mean anything changes or if something is wrong, fuckin' tell me immediately next time. I understand if you don't feel comfortable saying anything, then don't. But please don't leave me on the receding end of a problem. Just... shit — hug me! Hold my hand or some shit because being casted aside from you isn't what I want," Katsuki explains, slight frustration in his voice.

Izuku was ultimately feeling shitty. He hadn't realized how much his problems actually affected Katsuki as well. He didn't want to worry him. Thus, he was really worried to tell him when something was wrong. Katsuki insisted that he tell him though, and that is what Izuku would try and do.

     Izuku and Katsuki scooted closer to each other on the bed, and Izuku set the ice pack down. He leaned his good side on Katsuki's shoulder and Katsuki tensed a bit before relaxing, wrapping his arms around Izuku.

     "Your hugs are so warm..." Izuku says before closing his eyes, falling asleep to Katsuki's scent.
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