🌺Flower Showers🌺
~A Bakudeku Love Story~
04 - Kacchan
Word Count: 2,617
⚠️Warnings⚠️: Profanity, blood, hallucinations, mild panic attack, Vivid Dream,
Information: Inspired by ethydium on Archive Of Our Own - i wish i didn't love you (but i do). Sympathy and empathy are NOT the same. Empathy is where you can understand their emotions and are willing to help them. Empathy is where you can put yourself in their shoes. Sympathy is almost like giving them pity and saying, "damn that sucks, I'm sorry,". Why do I make this note? Because, whenever I put these things in a story, I want to make it clear that it is important to know the difference. Also, I have a snow day today 😂! Italic is for emphasis, thoughts, and snip-bits of information.

"I-I'm sorry, what?" Izuku questions the boy while his panic increased ten times.

"It's true, isn't it?" Todoroki asks solemnly.

Izuku's eyes widen as tears filled his eyes. He tries to say something but a choked out sob came out and he turned away from Todoroki. Todoroki walked closer and places a gentle hand on his shoulder. Izuku turns around and the two embrace. Izuku cries as Todoroki accepted him with open arms.

The two didn't know how long they were in there for, but at this point it didn't matter. This was a life or death situation, finally confirmed.

The two break the hug and Izuku sniffs and wipes his eyes. It would be obvious to anyone that he had cried. Izuku splashes his face with water and Todoroki was still there. Izuku felt a little more happy, more safe, knowing one of his close friends supported him. "How did you know..?"

     "Takes one to know one," Todoroki simply confirms. Izuku's eyes furrowed in slight confusion before they open wide and he stares at Todoroki with a sympathetic look.

     "Oh my god, Todoroki I'm—"

     "No. It's fine, trust me. I'm not dead so that's good,"

     "You..."

     "It's okay, really it is. Obviously, I didn't have much choice but to receive the surgery. there wasn't any other way around it."

     "Who..." Izuku starts and Todoroki manages a small smile. Izuku didn't want to pry, but he couldn't help the curiosity sparking his needs.

     "Oh, that doesn't matter now, but let's just say they were everything I wanted to be,"

Then silence. "Are you going to—" Izuku timidly starts.

"No. I won't. But I think you should. At least, talk to someone who can actully do something about it. And even," there was a short pause of dismay, "even if you don't want the surgery, you should at least get some options. Recommendations."

The quietness was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Is everything okay in there?" Kirishima asks. He opens the door a bit and saw Todoroki and Izuku. When he walked in he felt the onslaught of despair but thought better to not comment on it.

"Y-yeah, everything's good. My nose isn't bleeding anymore so..." Izuku trails off.

"I still think you should see someone, Midoriya. Just a thought," Todoroki asks before giving him an empathetic look.

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In the end, Izuku skipped the trip to Recovery Girl all together and just went back to class. He had a difficult time focusing in class, but that was because his mind was swimming in turmoil. His head hurt, due to everything crashing down on him in one foul swoop.

The blood, the petals, the hanahaki, the keeping secrets part, the disposing of the evidence, and more hallucinations. All these attributes were rattling him like a rattle snakes tail.

Finally, the last class of the day. Izuku made it this far without too much trouble, he just needs to get through this class and he'll be okay.

"Alright class, the study of this book is about—" Midnight explains before her voice fades out into white noise.

Rain. The beautiful droplets were outside, clear and cold. So peaceful, as if the world isn't crumbling before they land on the ground with a splash. Izuku stares off into the distance. He always liked having the window seat, it made him feel better. Being able to look outside, knowing one day he would be able to run free.

     That dream... his other dream. The dream no one knew about. He had always felt trapped. That dream shattered the moment he found out he had hanahaki. He would die, trapped within the hurt he so buried deeply.

     Izuku didn't notice the tear that fell down his face. But when it hit his hand. He heard the splash. Like a raindrop. He wipes it away and faces forward, pretending whatever little episode he just had cease to exist.

     At one point, Izuku just didn't pay attention. He got out his notebook and drew a flower. He drew the petals, the blood, and the heartbreak. Izuku felt the walls around him move. He had to do a double take before he felt sick. His eyes burned and his head ached. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

     Izuku thought he could get through it, but that was pushed aside as terror walked through the door and gave him a visit.

     Nothing was wrong at the moment, so why have a panic attack when it wasn't necessary? The bell rang and Izuku was quick to grab his stuff and walk out. Everybody witnessed the boy, but most were puzzled as to why he was in a hurry.

     Izuku made it out the door and quickly walked, until he made it outside. He ran. He made sure his backpack was secure and the zippers were at the sides, making sure it was closed. He sprinted away from the school. He ran the whole five minute walk, and made it back in 3 minutes.

     Once he arrived at the dorms, and stomped his way to his room, and threw his backpack against his nightstand. Alarm clock rattling as some collectibles fall off and pencils roll swiftly to the floor.

     He heaved and huffed and his chest rising and falling rapidly. What was wrong with him?

     Izuku didn't know why he was acting this way. His mind was gone. It flew out the window and hit the ground. Now not functioning properly, he gripped his head and paced around his room.

     He gripped his hair and pulled slightly. Tightly. That small ringing in his ear. What was it? Who knows, but it didn't disappear. He paced, he swirled, his mind a coffin case. His mind and heart felt like they would be replaced. He pulled, he ripped, and collapsed to the floor, he whispered, "Please, please... Stop it! No more..."

     The aching and the itching. The burning of his chest. He wished, oh how he wished, he could give it a rest.

     Izuku cries. His head and heart trying to figure out what was going on. He loved someone that didn't love him back. Izuku, still being in denial about love, he had to figure this out.

Knock knock knock!

     Izuku looked up from the floor he laid on, and didn't answer. It's not like he purposely kept his trap shut, he just didn't know what to say. Especially after this episode.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

     Izuku sat up in a criss-cross position and stared at the door. "Deku..."

Kacchan...

     Izuku felt his chest hurt and his mind went fuzzy, as well as his vision.

     "Deku, I know your in there! You damn nerd!" Katsuki exclaims as he knocked again, but a little softer. Ha! Katsuki being soft? As if!

     Izuku got up to his feet and wobbled towards the door. He grabbed the handle and hesitated before swinging it open a little bit.

     Izuku kept his eyes down, and his hair covered the grim expression on his face. "Hi Kacchan..." Izuku said as his voice scratched.

     "What's wrong with you?" Katsuki asked with a pissed off expression.

     "Nothing, why do you ask?" Izuku questions.

     "Everyone is worried about you. Are you still sick?" Katsuki asks. Izuku looks up and Katsuki's expression softened a bit. "Deku, your acting fuckin' weird. What's up?"

     "The clouds, the sky, the trees—"

     "Don't you get smart with me! I will kill you even if you are sick." Katsuki claims and Izuku smiles.

     "I'm fine, really. I'm just getting used to be back."

     "You weren't even gone that long," Katsuki says.

     Izuku didn't know what to do. Katsuki was persistent, and he would find out what was up sooner or later. It was inevitable. "Everyone shouldn't be worrying so much..." Izuku says.

     "I hate to say it, but they have a right to worry about your dumbass. Especially when you've been crying,"

     Izuku looked surprised. He forgot that he cried. And even when he wiped his face, it must have been obvious. Katsuki knew Izuku long enough to know when he cried or was crying.

     "I was just having a rough day back, that's all" Izuku confirms and Katsuki hums understanding.

     "I think Icy-Hot wanted to speak with you or some shit. But I better not be coming back to check on your ass again!" Katsuki says as he walked away. Izuku smiled, a genuine smile. And then a stabbing pain for less then a second. Izuku furrowed his brows and shook the thought he had.

     Izuku walked to the common room, and some worried faces glanced at him. Others smiling, assuming he was fine. "Sorry to have worried you guys, I was just having a rough day. I don't really want to go into detail about it," Izuku says and Iida walks up to him placing a hand in his shoulder.

     "That's perfectly fine. We're glad you're okay. Are you?" Iida asked with genuine concern. Izuku smiled and nodded his head.

     Everything basically went back to normal. Izuku grabbed a mug and filled it with cold water. He leaned against a wall, watching the t.v as some others did as well.

     Todoroki walks beside him and rests his back on the wall as well. "How are you feeling?" asked Todoroki as he never let his gaze lift from the screen.

     "Off... I don't feel like myself," Izuku confirms.

     "Yeah, that sounds about right." Todoroki says and glances at Izuku worried a bit. His face didn't show it though.

     "I have a question about... a-about," Izuku tried to say, but the words get caught in his tongue.

     "It's fine. Ask away."

     "Can you feel?"

     "Emotions?"

     "Yes! But like umm..."

     "Love?" Todoroki questions and Izuku was silent. "No. Well yes, but not romantically. I love my family, and I love my friends. I love you, but I have no amorous towards anyone. I'm not sure if I ever will."

     Izuku stares at Todoroki. He had both hands wrapped around his mug and he didn't know what to say to Todoroki. All he did was lay his head on his shoulder.

     Todoroki didn't push him away. He actually wrapped his arm around Izuku and rubbed his hand up and down his shoulder for comfort. "I'm really worried for you, Midoriya..." Todoroki softly says. Izuku didn't say anything back. He was just quietly listening to Todoroki's soft voice. "Do you know who it is?"

     Izuku looked at everyone. His heart pulled whenever he looked at his friends. They all felt the same. But one out of all of them made his heart melt into a love shaped mold.

     God, he was beautiful. So perfect, and pretentious. "I'm not sure... I have a theory though. I don't think I'm ready to accept what's going on," Izuku says as he walks away from Todoroki and cleans his mug before letting it dry off to the side.

     It was suddenly late, and time flew quickly. Tomorrow was a Wednesday, and Izuku had to prepare. They had combat training. Izuku wasn't going to be ready for that. But he had to be ready.

     Izuku ate dinner and cleaned his dish once again. Watching everyone have fun was something he would miss. He smiled sadly before getting up and disappearing into the halls of the dorms. He needed to find out who he loved, even though he already knew.

     Izuku shook the thought and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

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[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

The softness of the petal bed was miraculous. They felt like silk under his skin. So soft and delicate, and undeniably marvelous to touch. Sitting up on the petal bed as a finger is placed on the back of his neck. The finger trailed down his spine slowly. It was warm and foreign. The finger stopped at his tailbone. The hand was then placed on his lower back, gradually traveling up his back then to his shoulder. The hand goes to the front of his chest...

And trails that same finger down. Down, until it reaches his abdomen. The hand then pushes him down onto the bed. A little bit forcefully as he felt his back collide with the bed. Flower petals covered everything. All the way up and down the walls were vines and flowers. Roses. Red roses. Butterflies danced around. Literally.

Glowing butterflies, pink ones, flew around the room. "How does this feel?" the rough, but tender voice questions softly.

Two hands dragged down both his arms. Izuku felt the tingle shoot through his arms all the way towards his heart. His chest slowly, heavily, rising and falling. A kiss on his belly, and another just above that. And another... and another... until the kisses reached his chest. The hands now colliding with the sides of his body, traveling down all the way towards his hips.

It was at this part, he knew he didn't have a shirt. "Sensual..." he whispers out as a hot breath coated the side of his neck. He felt like he was floating. The mouth kisses his neck, close to his ear and chin. And another traveling down, and down...

     Nibbling and softly kissing. Slightly bitting his collar bone and Izuku breathes a sigh. It was heavy, and written with need. The smell of roses started to fill the room. And they smelled delectable. Now, he finally noticed the body sitting on top of him. They were taller for sure, and their muscles were bigger.

     Muscles...?

     "You don't have to be ashamed for loving me the way you do..." the voice coos.

     The person goes to the other side of Izuku's neck and repeats the previous process. Izuku once again heavily exhales, but this time it was a staggered breath. Shaky and in need of a voice.

     "I'm not ashamed..." Izuku says and the smell of fire... Izuku looked up and saw that the flower walls encasing these two were burning. Fire slowly made their way around the room, starting at the corners of the room. Surprisingly, Izuku has no fear. He wasn't scared of the fire that burned. Petals started to fall away from the walls, and the black voice behind the wall is what scared Izuku.

     Their room was literally made of flower petals and vines.

     "Don't lie to yourself..." the voice once again whispers. Their mouth travels all the way to his ear as their hands gripped Izuku's hips. "Lying will get you killed,"

Izuku gasped. It was only a dream, but something took over him. The flowers kept burning, and he was even more scared of the black void behind it. "What..? I'm not lying."

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

Izuku shook his head, no. Izuku then felt a soft pair of lips on his own. The kiss was overpowering. And he felt it light his whole body. "Look at me... and tell me who you love."

"You, Kacchan... I love you..."
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