Today was my 20 birthday. November 2, baby!

It has been super chill day so far. My best friends came barging in my room at 12:40 in the morning with a cake, singing our stupid rendition of 'Happy Birthday'. They all took videos and pictures of me, not even caring that I was having a severe case of bed hair or that I couldn't even open either one of my eyes all the way. But as soon as I blew out the candles they took it away from me. It's for later tonight, they said. 

We just stayed at home for the rest of the day. When I had a moment to myself, I cried for a bit. It has only been a couple of months since Dad and Victor passed away and each day without them was harder and harder than the last. By no means was it getting easier like everyone said it would. I am honestly still shocked and feel the pain that was left by them. I don't get it. I thought I was supposed to be feeling a bit of relief from all the pain that comes along in this process, but it is slowly chipping my heart away. If I am being honest, I stopped going to those therapy lessons on it. I felt like I didn't need them for the time being. I don't know when I will go back. 

It will be a very, very long time, maybe a lifetime, until I can think about them and smile and laugh and not cry about it. Old people do that when they bring the subject up but I can't. It's still way too early. 

We just watched a bunch of movies and binged watched an entire season of "Breaking Bad", which does not take as much time as you would think it would. If Joshua is ever put in that situation I am keeping him as far as I can from vans and meth. This show deserves the well earned 16 Emmys. 

I got to stay in a hoodie all day, enjoying the cold weather. I woke up as the happiest person on Earth when the temperature outside was in the fifties. There were rumors about it snowing but I knew it was too good to be true. We ate Cap N'Crunch in the morning, a birthday breakfast tradition, then proceeded to swallowed as much pizza and chips and cookies and candies and juices until we felt bloated and went into a food coma. I got to stay in a heated blanket all day and had an excuse to not do dishes today.  It was my definition of a perfect day.

I had to be excused for about 30 minutes to answer all the birthday texts and calls. Victor's family has been so kind to keep in touch with me. I watched Shelby's kids the other day actually because I forced her and Elijah to go on a vacation for a bit. They been going at it for a while without time to think. I was glad they went without argument. 

She also tried to call me and talk to me, but I ignored it. I didn't tell anyone, but I saw her car swing by. If I am being honest, I have been feeling a lot better ever since then. You know in school when you have been carrying a heavy backpack all day then when you finally take it off you feel so much lighter? That's how I have been feeling. The relationships in my life have become a lot healthier, I am starting to accept myself for who I am, my mental health has become more manageable, I am starting to accept what has happened in my life. Just a lot of things has been slowly improving. 

A part of my conscience is berating me to fix our relationship because at the end of the day she is still my mother, a person who nursed me and cared for me, even though she was reluctant. But the other part of me is realizing that this was for the better- for me. I need to do what is good for me. I need to. 

Continuing on with my day they surprised me with a couple presents as well. Dani had gotten me some things to help me fall asleep. I've been getting some trouble getting more than about 4 hours each night. Joshua had gotten me a perfume, bag, shoes, very "girly" things. And by "girly" I mean that these products are targeted for women and girls but come on, we are living in the 21st century. A man should feel comfortable wearing a skirt outside and a perfume shouldn't be marketed just for women.

Everyone was looking at Greyson, expecting him to pull out his elaborate and such grandeur gift but no such thing happened. He said that he would be taking me later out tonight, I just had to pack a bag very lightly. Joshua wolf whistled and Dani smacked him on the head. Instead of being annoyed he just kissed her and attacked her with so many hugs. She was laughing really manically while he was saying a lot of things which I am glad I am not hearing any bit of it. I looked over to them, seeing them act so ridiculously in love, and felt so happy. While it may come as a surprise to some, they finally made it official! 

Joshua made dinner for her a while ago - late at night Greyson and I just ate the leftovers which consisted of poorly done kabobs and rice - and they just kind of sealed the deal. At night they said they were just going to get ice cream, but I saw Dani fixing her makeup- and I was just mildly cleaning out her purse while she did so. I just hope and pray that this relationship works out just fine. It has been in the making for so long.

But yeah, that was basically our day.  I went upstairs to find my thicker socks as it started getting colder. It has been raining nonstop for the past two days and now the cold wind that comes right after that was blowing in. I literally couldn't have asked for more perfect weather. I wish Texas had more than one season, it is that hard to ask for!

My winter stuff was in a small box on the shelf in my closet. I slapped my hand around to find it. I eventually found a box and pulled it down. But when I opened it, I didn't find thick socks or a beanie or any winter gear. What I saw inside the box was a small white onesie for a preemie baby. 

The first outfit I ever wore.

I brought the box to the bed and slowly started emptying it out. In there was my first outfit I wore (it was a long white sleeved Gerber onesie from Walmart which still had a stain), the first, and last, pair or earrings Greyson ever got me (I am deathly afraid of earrings, plus when I found out the price of these I refused him to get me anymore), my first diary, old love letters Greyson is still embarrassed he wrote, special polaroid pictures I wanted to keep for a lifetime, some old pictures of Dad, Victor's photo album, and a plastic Daisy flower.

I twirled the fake flower in my hand, remembering a lot of things. Its plastic but I brought it up to my nose to smell it. I felt my heart getting bigger and bigger. This was actually the start of a lot of things. But why don't we wrap up this story nicely, huh?

Hi, I'm Daisy McCharty and I have bipolar disorder. On the inside, I can have an existential crisis one day and then the next day I am completely fine. But on the outside, I am a normal 20 woman like the next. I have 3 best friends, including my best friend turned boyfriend, and I had 2 dads for a bit know. I you are going to ask to describe myself so here it is: I am the most perfectionist, most indecisive, most anxious, most dramatic, most chaotic, most spontaneous person I have ever known.

But did you ever wonder how I came to be? What the hell actually happened between my father and his girlfriend that caused them to become parents at the age of 15? Why am I named after a plant? What this stupid fake flower has to do with everything? Well, it's an interesting story.

My dad, Clay, and my "mom", Lori, met in the 4th grade. One day, for a history class, they were assigned partners for a project. Lori wasn't super thrilled about this, you see. She was popular and he was an outcast. Everyone knew that his family was no good, they basically neglected him since his parents' laid eyes on him. This could very well ruin Lori's reputation as a "Cool Kid"

But as they worked on the project something happened. Lori realized that Clay was super funny and charming and sweet and actually cool and totally wasn't what she expected him to be. He was such a kind boy, but society marked him as an outcast, so he had to learn to live with this label. They soon became best friends and a little later on down the road they were the talk of the town. Nobody could believe that Lori, one of the cool kids, was dating Clay, the weirdo, the guy whose parents didn't even care about him. Even she was surprised.

It was in the 9th grade did things start to change. Lori went on to be a cheerleader, become the school "It Girl", a freshman Plastic, while Clay was still an outcast. Though he didn't like the same things as she, didn't hang out with the same people she did, and had a totally different mindset than her, Clay was still, somewhat, in love with her. Though she had everything she ever wanted any girl at the age of 14 could want, it was ultimately her boyfriend that was keeping her unhappy. Lori tried persuading him to hang out with her friends, and like the things she liked, and be on the same page as her all the time. But he didn't want to; that wasn't him, that was her.

After winning the championship basketball game there was going to be a party at one of the senior player's house. This party had all the booze and crack, and cancer sticks an 18-year-old can get their hands on. Lori, being a cheerleader, was obviously invited. She wanted Clay to come with her so they can make it really official that they were a couple. But Clay didn't want to go. She grew very upset and angry at this fact.

Later on, at night, Clay was at his house, finishing up his homework. He was upstairs in his room, but he could still hear all the laughing of the people downstairs. It was his all of his family, his uncle and aunts and cousins, and some of their friends. He didn't like being downstairs when they were here. 

Later on that night Clay got a message. It was from one of the basketball players. Dad still didn't know how the basketball player got his number; none of his friends went to that party and he never gave it to anyone. But Dad opened the message. It was a video of Lori, who was topless and had a red solo cup in her hand, passionately kissing another basketball player, who turned out to be the senior who was hosting the party, in front of everyone.

Dad was hurt by this. He didn't understand. He didn't want to go to a party, that's all. She knew he didn't like it when people are drunk. He didn't like it ever since his entire family basically started. As he kept on watching the video again and again of his girlfriend and the basketball player, he grew angrier and more hurt. 

The party was only 2 streets down from where he lived. Nobody hollered at him when he left; they were glad of it actually.  When he got there, he found Lori and the senior still kissing, only breaking apart to take a sip of their drink. The senior was about to take off his pants when Clay got ahold of Lori. He took her to the guest bedroom and was going to prove to her and to the whole school and to himself that he was her boyfriend and that he was as every bit cool as they were.

Fast forward nine months later and they both were at the hospital with their newborn baby girl. Dad told me he spent the entire day just holding me in my arms. He couldn't believe it. Despite all that has happened to him in the last couple of months, his family cutting him off, having to deal with the people at school, trying to figure out anything and everything, he couldn't help but be smitten with this little girl in his arms. She was so tiny and adorable. He was glad she looked like him a lot.

Lori, however, was complaining as soon as her water broke. (You know that is actually a lie. She has been complaining since they were dating) She said her boobs looked huge and that the stretch marks on her stomach that pregnancy and I gave her was extremely ugly. She worried about what everyone at school will think now that the baby is actually here. She worried she wouldn't be able to do cheer anymore cause the stitches were giving her so much pain that she couldn't even walk a couple steps. She yelled at Clay, telling him it's his fault and that she was going to report him for sexual abusing her and just beating him over the head all day. She hated him for giving her this pain and burden of becoming a mother at such a young age. If he had just came to the party like she asked him to, to do everything that she asked him to do, none of this would be happening in the first place.

Later on, that day Dad was at the gift shop to buy himself something to eat. He didn't want to eat any food Lori was getting because she had a baby to feed, and quite frankly he didn't want to associate with her right now. He only had a couple of dollars in his pocket, so he had to settle on sugar free gummies and water from the fountain.

As he was sitting in the waiting room and eating his "food", taking a break from his yelling girlfriend, he saw a family that was celebrating as quietly as they could. Apparently, they also had a baby girl too. There was a very old couple, two men, one woman, and five kids. They were shouting and crying and jumping and overall celebrating at the prospect of a new person in their lives. One of the men was holding a bouquet of flowers and was passing it around to his group and to anyone who passed him.

This made Clay feel sad. All he has felt in the past nine months were torture and sadness and anger and grief. He wished that he could be that happy. He wished that there was somebody who would be there for him. He wished that this never happened in the first place.  

But this was real. That little girl, and all the troubles she bought with her, were here to stay for a while.

Eventually the man who was holding the bouquet of flowers, who turned out to be the father of the child, noticed Dad crying all by himself. A young kid sitting in the hospital waiting room struck as odd to him. He decided to see what's up.

"You all good, man?" the guy asked Dad as he sat down in the vacant seat next to him.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Dad said as he wiped away his tears. This was humiliating to him. A lot of people told him to man up in the last couple of months, so it was such a shame that he allowed himself to be seen crying so openly. 

"Look, I don't know if you're trying to convince me or yourself, kid, but it ain't working," the guy said. "Why don't you try telling me the truth? I'm a complete stranger; I don't know you and you don't know me. The chances of us running into each other is very slim in this city."

Dad slowly began telling this random guy basically his entire life story. How his parents neglected him as a kid, meeting Lori, how their romantic relationship was, the party, the aftermath of the party. All the events that led him talking to this random stranger in the waiting room of the hospital.

"Well, I gotta say kid the blame is on both of you," the guys said. Dad secretly knew this in his heart, but it was still upsetting coming to terms with. He said that in that moment he had never been more disappointed in himself. "We got to be mature and realize this. You both did the wrong things. But I also can't blame you guys entire; can't tell you how many brothers of mine got their girls pregnant back in my day and was in the same situation you are in right now.

But that's all in the past. What you got to do is get up and make sure that you take care of your daughter. You both knew the consequences of your actions and now they are here. But don't push it on the girl, she's just a baby."

Dad nodded and wiped his tears again. That's what he needed to hear in that moment. Not some false comforts of hope, the harsh reality of things. They did know they consequences of their actions and now they do have to be mature and take up that responsibility. It is obviously sad that he had too but, at the end of the day, he had to, especially for the little girl's sake. 

The stranger opened up his wallet, Dad knew where this was going. He immediately refused it. It was a lot of money. I was never told how much but it was enough to last them a while.

"Take it, you guys are just kids, you're gonna need it. And here takes my card. You're lucky I have a good paying job or else I couldn't have been this generous. Call me if you ever need anything."

Dad finally accepted it all, all the advice and reassurances, nodded his head and pocketed the cash and card.

"Well, congrats on your baby," Dad said and the stranger's smile returned to his face.

"Thanks son." He took out a flower from the bouquet he was holding and gave it to Dad.

Dad looked at it and recognized it as a daisy. And it was a plastic daisy at that.

"Why are you giving out fake daisies?" Dad asked. Even though he knew it was fake he brought it to his nose to smell.

"Almost every flower in the world has a meaning. A rose symbolizes love, lilies are very feminine, sunflowers mean loyalty, so on so forth. A daisy symbolizes the birth of a child. Kind of fitting for the occasion. And they're fake because I intend to take care of my daughter more than some stupid flower."

Dad looked at the flower and got what the man was trying to do. He slowly agreed with this random stranger's philosophy. He was going to take more care of his daughter than some stupid flower. He wasn't going to waste his time watering some plants, he was going to use his time for his future instead. 

"Thank you, sir, for everything," Dad said as he extended a handout. "It's been a real pleasure talking to you."

"Likewise, son. And remember that everything will work out, just give it time. I'll hope we run into each other again. Peace."

...

Remember, remember what the first thing my therapist asked me in the very beginning. "What is your story?" I think that is it for me.   

...

Yep, this is the end. Who may know what the end will truly look like for our characters. But I hope you loved the time you spent with them. Remember, you were a part of this too. You went through all the ups and downs, the heart breaking and warming moments, the first and last loves, all the goods and bads. I hope you guys enjoyed the story and remember this in your heart. Thank you so much. I love you all. Make sure to vote and comment!