It felt like I only got a few minutes of sleep. We got home around 7 in the morning. We finished our game then decided to eat out for breakfast. Greyson tried to feed me something, but it was hard. All I managed was to eat a pancake and a few sips of apple juice before I felt like throwing I up.

The doorbell was ringing like crazy. That's what woke me up. It was about 5 in the evening, and we all were still in bed. If the doorbell wasn't ringing, I am pretty sure that in a few minutes time I would've woke up because of the headache.

"I'm coming," I yelled even though the person waiting probably couldn't hear me. But Greyson did and he unfortunately woke up.

"Who's at the door?" he asked as he opened his eyes to the maniac doorbell.

"I don't know," I said. I pushed the blanket off of me and looked around for some pants- I was wearing shorts to sleep, it was that hot.

I went downstairs, followed by a half-asleep Greyson, to see who it was. Dani and Joshua were walking out of the guest bedroom, rubbing their eyes and wondering who the hell is waking us up this early.

Who was here this late?" Everyone else already moved on with their lives. We made sure to call the owners of anything left behind. I tried racking my brains, thinking who could be here.

I opened the door and found the last person I expected, and wanted, to see. But she looked different. She looked cleaner and well groomed. She even looked pleasant, the way I remember her from when I was younger.

She washed her hair. It fell over her should in loose curls she knows how to do very well. I got her hair color and the texture of it was a mix of both of them. She had makeup on, though done very lightly. Not like how she used to cake it on. Before she used to hide her insecurities, but she seems to be accepting them and even embracing them. She was wearing a knee length black maxi dress, which didn't have any stains or holes or tears and even smelled okay and was wearing small kitten heels. It's been a while since she wore actual high heels; I don't know if she remembers how to walk in them. I could see her nail and toes and saw that she gone them done. There was no more dirt or grime on or around them.

I had to be honest she looked very beautiful. She looked like a woman who is respected and is enjoying a good life.

But she was still that same person under all that beauty.

There was a pack of cigarettes and an ash tray sitting on the table. I counted at least 7 butts, two of which were still slightly burning. There was also a 12 pack of beer but there was only 1 can crumpled and finished. There was a small compact with some white powder stuff in it. I thought she had truly gone back to her old ways. But she lost her supplier a long time ago. When he went to jail she quit for the fear of cops. She was really a wreck but got her act together.

We looked at each other in shock. I was at a loss of words. She kept moving her mouth, but no sound came out of it. She moved her hand towards me, but I slammed the door in her face. I stood there for a second, acknowledging who was out there, then ran past everyone to my room. I jumped onto the bed and curled into a ball, crying all of a sudden.

The three of them came into the room. Greyson knelt next to me on the side of the bed. He moved the hair away from my face and was trying to help me out. I brought my hand to my mouth and cried even harder. Dani and Joshua were standing behind him, ready to do anything.

"Make her go away," I choked out. I don't need her here, especially right now. She had no business here. I can usually keep my composure when I am near her, but she had come so abruptly that it caught me off guard.

The memories weren't replaying in my head like it has been for the last couple of days. These memories were fresh in my mind. But those memories were so long ago, and I repressed them so far into my brain it was very hard to bring them out. It was the feelings that came to the surface. I was a 5-year-old feeling scared and sad and alone and anxious and frightened again. They were balled up and repeatedly kept ramming against my heart.

I stayed in my room for the rest of the day. I was too scared to come outside. I just kept on crying, thinking that something will happen again. I don't want to feel that hurt again.

They stayed with me all day. They brought me food and other stuff from downstairs, occasionally checking on Lori. She was still sitting on the porch, drinking and smoking and wasting her life away. I had tried eating for their sakes, but I threw it all up. Twice. I felt so bad for Dani and Joshua, who knew how to clean throw up, and had to keep apologizing for it.

When night had finally fallen, I was starting to get really sick. I started to have a migraine, I was having body chills and was aching, and my temperature was going up. My chest was hurting too. It was like my heart was tired of pumping blood to the rest of my body. It was tired of keeping me alive, overworked.

I had passed out around 9 o'clock and woke up at 3 in the morning. I woke up because my head was pounding, probably from the stress and the lack of food. It took me a long time to get healthy again from that incident- I used to be less than skin and bone- but that's all out of the window now. There was sweat all over my body, and my face was mixed with sweat, tears, and drool, and my nose had become increasingly stuffy by the hour.

I had fell asleep between sitting up and laying down. I was clutching onto Greyson's arm. He was fully sitting up, leaning against the wall, holding a thermometer loosely in his hand to check my temperature throughout the night. He had his mouth slightly open and was drooling and snoring a bit. I let go of his arm to see if he would wake up. He moved for a second, I didn't dare taking a breath in, but then went back to sleep. 

I left the room and went downstairs to the kitchen to find some pain reliever. I managed to make it to the kitchen mostly unharmed. I was surprised that I kept on putting on foot in front of the other. I was putting all my will power into not passing out.

I couldn't find anything strong enough in the cabinet. There was aspirin but it always gives me a nosebleed plus it tastes funny to me. When I had accepted defeat, I decided to go to Walgreens and buy some. It's only a 2-minute drive.

I stumbled over and grabbed the keys. Lori was still out here. She was sleeping in the chair, the way I like her, wrapped in a very dirty blanket I know wasn't ours. I think she was determined to just stay out here forever. I now counted 15 butts and 3 more cans finished and crumbled. There was also a bunch of empty boxes from Jack in the Box. It smelled so disgusting out here, and that's me telling you with one half of my nose not working. 

I pulled up to the Walgreens and went in. I ignored everyone greeting me, going to the back where all the medicines were. Walgreens is always my go to after midnight, but they of course have to put all the medicines in the back so stupid me can very sickly make me way towards there. My head was pounding so much, and the lights were so bright that it was burning my eyes.

I couldn't find the medicine anywhere. I kept on crying and rubbing my temples, from all the pain in my head, and muttering to myself as I walked back and forth the medicine wall. It looked like I was on drugs. Wrong person though, you should see my friend sometime.

"Do you need help ma'am?" a random worker asked me very slowly. I would have been slightly offended by the look she was giving but right now I understood. How often do you find some just bawling their eyes out in the corner of your local Walgreens?

"Do you know where the medicine for migraines is?" I managed to say.

She gave me a box that was right in front of me. I grabbed a water and a juice before heading to the counter. I wanted to get an ice cream cone for myself, but I couldn't. It was another one of those stupid things. I wouldn't be able to eat and enjoy ice cream for a long time.

To kind of seal the deal in these employees' minds that I am a drug addict my total was like 11 dollars and 32 cents, so I just handed the guy 30 dollars and left.

I popped two of the pills in my mouth and chugged some of the water. I knew it would taste gross. I opened the juice to change my taste. But wrong call. I threw up as soon as the juice touched my tongue. My stomach apparently can't handle the calories. Great, just what I need right now.

I went home to find everyone on the porch. Lori was still sitting at the table, wide awake in her chair, drinking another beer. The three of them, who were in their pajamas, were huddled around and occasionally looking at the street. I started to breathe very hard when I saw all of them

I had parked the car on the driveway and stepped out. Everyone immediately started talking to me, but I couldn't make out any words they were saying. I had barely taken three steps when I passed out.

When I woke up again, I was laying down on the couch inside. I knew I had only been knocked out for a few minutes because I don't feel like how I was last time.

I heard raised voice down the hall. There were a couple. I had a hunch of who they were.

I had gotten up and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I did everything right until I finished drinking. My hand was physically tired of holding the glass and accidentally dropped it. The glass smashed all over the floor. I'm just glad none of it cut me. But it did raise a slight commotion.

I heard so many pairs of feet come into the kitchen. It was too loud for my ears. I touched them and it was very painful. I felt everyone standing around, trying to see what happened. I felt someone stand next to me and put a hand on my arm. They spoke in a very soft voice and said "Daisy, are you okay?"

I looked up and saw Lori sporting such a caring look on her face. That scared me. I have never seen that before. I back ripped my arm out her grasp, all of my marks slightly tingling, and back up as far away from her as I can.

"Get away from me!" I said as labored breathes came out of me. I was terrified. As I stumbled backwards, I knocked over another glass objects which smashed all over the floor, scaring me even more. Why is she here? 

"I think it's best if you leave," Greyson said.

Lori turned her head towards him and gave him a look of hatred she reserved for me when I was younger. I knew it too well. I would've ran away if she was giving me that look but Greyson was staring her dead in the eye.

"She is my daughter! I have a right to be here!"

"Oh, so all of a sudden I'm your daughter now?" I shouted to her. It startled her that I was talking like that. I have before but something felt different. "All it took was the death of your ex-husband to realize this?" There was 20 years of pure anger in every word that came out and is about to come out of my mouth. I did it even though it made my headache worse. I did it because she had to know it all, and I didn't care how much it was going to hurt her. 

"I wasn't your daughter when you were drunk, right? Or when you were smoking, or doing crack, or had some guy around? I wasn't your daughter then. No! I was always just a random girl to you! Not once did you ever show me any love like how Dad did! All I was to you was a person who ruined it all for you. You only have the right to call someone your daughter if you showed them love or respected them, and you didn't even want me. You know how many times you tried overdosing when you had me? I know. But how can I blame you? I don't even want me around anymore! I took away everything you had, remember?"

She remembered that conversation. It was one of the few ones where I didn't pass out immediately. She was also remembering all those memories from a long time ago. When her life was at her lowest and she was chained down so much because of other people. She had so much potential but so much ruined it for her. She could've made it in life. But she didn't. 

Her head was drooping, and her beautiful hair was covering her face. A hand flew to her mouth. I saw the pearly tear drops fall to the floor. Her shoulders were shaking, and her body looked like it was failing. I heard her take a sharp breath in and continue to cry in silence.

This was the first time I remember seeing her cry from sadness and pain and sorrow. I would've felt bad for anyone else for her. She deserves to feel all this pain. I had too for 20 years. For all of my life I felt like that, even when I was smiling and pretending everything was fine. But it wasn't, and it was all her fault. No one can go through that and ever be okay again. It messes up a person. 

And we both were messed up from it. 

"Daisy, I'm sor-"

"'I'm sorry' isn't gonna work anymore, Lori. Don't you get it? You had all those years and chances to say sorry, but you never did. And it's too late now. Lori, you could've made things better, but never right. What you did to us, to me and Dad, you can never fix that. So, what are you sorry for? All the times you hit me. Or when you hit Dad- I knew Lori, I knew.  Or what it for using all that crap? Getting drunk and stoned and all that? No, I got it! I got it! It was ruining our family, isn't it? That's it!

"That's why you're here, isn't it? You were feeling so sorry that you just had a feeling in your worthless heart that you had to show up?" She started to use the counter as support, but I still didn't care. "Right? I'm right, aren't I? Oh, come one Lori, admit for once in your life that I was right. Well let me tell you something so you can go continue to live your pathetic life in peace: We did everything without you! We managed perfectly fine! And he was so, so happy since he left you and your petty self. And trust me he was so happy till the day he died!"

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