I finished cleaning the house around 2 in the morning. I had mopped and lit up one of his many candles- yes, he was that person- which made the house feel cozier than ever. When I finished, I sat on the big chair for a while and watched some TV to wind down. I wasn't ready to go home yet. Just a couple more minutes to myself. I just needed that last bit to myself. 

When I was almost finished with the movie, I opened my phone to a bunch of missed calls and texts. Everyone, from Greyson to Victor's mom, was worried about where I went. When Dani called me again, I paused the movie and thought it was a good idea to head out. I didn't want to worry anybody. I regretted doing it, because it would mean that I would have to face reality again, but I knew I had to. For everyone else. I guess everyone takes turns taking up the responsibility. 

I put all the bags that were going in home the trunk and grabbed the spare keys, locking the door on my way out. I looked at the house in a very nostalgic way, like how you look at your childhood room when you finally move out. I don't know if I am in Victor's will, the court is still reviewing his and Dad's, but I just hope that I have something to remember him by. It felt like this was home now too.

I got in the car, finally thinking about what happened. I fell deeper into my seat as my brain tried to figure out what happened. What did happen? Why all of a sudden? They have only been gone for a few days and we are already falling apart. One thing Dad and Victor always did was make sure we stuck together.

No, I can't let that happen. Not after everything we have been through. We have been through too much together to let it all fall apart now.

I texted in the group chat. We needed to do this. I needed them to realize. I also just wanted to tell everyone that I am alive.

Me: Guys, where are you?

No one responded.

Me: Guys please. We need to talk things out.

Eventually everyone replied. They were at their houses. They were already making the wound a bit deeper. A part of me is glad that they took some fresh air. If they would have been cooped up in the same place for this long I am sure things would've gotten more uglier.

I backed out of the driveway, going to pick them up. I had sort of a game plan in my head as for what to do. I wanted to bring them something that could take us back to a good time.

I picked up Joshua first. I was more worried about him than anybody else right now. After seeing him do what he was about to do and the fight I knew he was beyond exhausted. In the beginning Joshua absolutely loved it. It offered him an escape that nothing else could do. I'm scared in that 10 or 20 years it is going to affect him greatly. I want him to stop but it is extremely impossible. 

When I called him outside I saw the true damage. He was sort of limping as he came towards the car. I had gotten out and was helping him walk towards the car. He leaned against the hood, trying to bear all the pain. His lip was swollen, there was a fresh purpley-blue bruise and the imprint on his cheek, and there was a small cut just above his eyebrow. He was holding a pack of ice against his face to calm down the swelling.

"Where does it hurt?" I asked as I held the ice pack against his face.

"On the inside," he said miserably.

"Joshua, why? You know you can always talk to us if anything is bothering you."

He sighed and said "I know. It's just- I didn't know- I had no ide-" he kept on trying to say something but it wasn't working. "God, I can't think straight!" he eventually yelled out into the night then started to cry.

I held him as he cried into my shoulder. Small tears were balling in the corners of my eyes but I hid it from him. I didn't need him to see it right now. I sucked it up and held him as he let it all out. I patted his back, holding him upright.

"We are all going through this buddy," I said when we both stopped crying. It took us a minute, though. 

I picked up Dani next. When I got there I saw two people come outside, Dani and Alex. I stepped out of the car to let him know its me. He went back in and Dani came out. I'm glad I put Joshua in the backseat or otherwise the night would have gotten so much worse. I just needed to get through this day in one piece. 

She walked over to me and hugged me. In the moment I knew she was the most vulnerable out of all of us. It was hard to see her like this. She is usually the tough one. Seeing her loose it is like the world just suddenly going into another world war. 

"How are you feeling?" I asked

"Horrible," she said as she wiped her nose.

It was quiet for a second. 

"Daisy I don't know what to do! I'm just so confused, and really scared. Really scared." I found it hard to see her burst out so randomly. I know I am exaggerating this, but it's the truth. When we all loose our head Dani becomes our leader, keeping her head as level headed as possible. I won't go into too much detail, but once the four of us got pulled over by the cops. If we didn't have Dani with us at the time I am pretty sure we would've gotten into serious trouble. 

I held her at arms length and was about to be the big sister in this situation. It felt weird being in this position. She is the one who usually gives me advice, looking out for me. It always seems like my friends are always there for me.

"Dani you don't learn how to be in a healthy relationship in a few hours. It takes a long time. Even I'm still learning it. And it's going to be like this for a long time. You just question every little move you both make. It gets tiring, I know. But if he loves and respects you for who you are, things will eventually work out. And you have to treat him with love and respect too. A relationship is never one way, it's always 50-50."

She nodded and took a couple of deep breathes. I pulled her in a hug and held her while she calmed down. At first Dani hated being hugged or touched at all, so it was hard for her to accept the affection. But I can't help it. I like giving hugs. It makes me feel better. 

We headed out for Greyson who was at his apartment. This is actually only my fourth time being here, and I have only been inside twice. Dani had asked Joshua if he was okay, which he measly replied too. When we pulled up to his apartment complex his living room light was one of the few that was still open. 

"I'm sorry," he said as he stood in front of me. He didn't want to come outside at first but I finally talked him into doing it. He was tired. He was still in his suit, though he ditched the tie and jacket and had his top button undone. His eyes were red and I saw his horrible patch up work he tried to do on his hand. 

"Greyson, it's okay. We all are trying to go through this. And no one will understand how you are going through this," I said as I rewrapped his hand. 

"I just feel bad. I do-don't want to lose him. I wasn't using my head." He was staring at the gravel, looking thoroughly sad. We four, Dad and Victor as well, were the closest thing he has ever had to a normal family. Someone who loves and cares for him. He doesn't want to loose anymore of them, he only has a few left. 

"Well you have a chance to make things right."

We got in the car and left. The place was a bit far from his apartment but I didn't mind. There was nobody on the road. Plus it felt nice to drove; I get why Greyson loves it so much. It was a quiet ride. Not even Joshua and Dani were talking anymore. They were looking outside through their respective windows as though it was a portal to their own little world.

We arrived at our destination. I parked and stared at the place. It was virtually empty. There was only one car a little away from us. But I can't actually see anyone inside. When they saw where we were a small smile came to their face. They knew this place very well.

I got out of the car and they followed suit. We walked through the gates, it's open 24/7 during the summer, and went over to the swings. When your a kid you don't appreciate the swings as much as the slides and the field but as you get older you have a sort of attachment to it.

We sat down all within a vicinity of each other. It was Joshua, Dani, me, then Greyson. That was a good sign. At least they can tolerate it right now.

We were avoiding the gaze of each other, simply looking up at the stars. We did come star gazing once when we were about 17. It was a fun thing to do. There's a hill over there, across the field, where you get the best view. But eventually we all lost our focus and ended up swinging. Dad taught us all how to push ourselves on the swings. You've got to push your legs back and forth until you just go higher and higher. 

"You guys remember that day?" I asked after a bit. 

Their smiles got even bigger and I heard the murmurs of agreement. I knew they were remembering that day. It was the first place and time, outside of school, where we all hung out. It was such a fun day.

"I snuck out of my bedroom window to make it here," Greyson said fondly. I remember him panting as he ran in, wearing very nice and expensive clothing. It was super dangerous for a kid that young to walk that far alone but nobody would let him come. It was like he was stuck in Alcatraz. He has his freedom now though. 

"Dani, who did you come with?" I asked.

"Alex, remember. He forgot me because he went to that pool party with his friends." She was smiling even though it was not that fun of an situation. I do remember her crying after we all had to go. She got so scared when Alex left her. Alex eventually came, drenched from head to toe in soap and water. "Who did you come with, Joshua?" she asked him. 

"Kyle," he said, his smile displaying the nostalgic feeling.

"Wait Kylie Jenner brought you that day?" I questioned. This was new information to me.

I remember that guy. He was a driver for the production company Joshua's dad used to work in. The reason his nickname was Kylie Jenner was because he was, and as far as I know, obsessed with "Keeping Up With The Kardashians". He was so crazy for them that he started to act like them, from the way they talk to the way they carry themselves. Let me clear up something: We don't have anything against Kylie Jenner. Though she does not know of my existence I think she is actually pretty cool and really beautiful and really funny. People forget that Hollywood is more than just a pretty face. 

But this guy had a personal vendetta against Kylie Jenner, like she did something personally wrong to him. So, like the psychotic person he was, he made it his life goal to be exactly like her.

"Yeah. He almost missed his hair appointment because of it but he owed my dad a favor."

I laughed. We all did. I am telling you this guy was obsessed.

"Remember- remember he walked in and was tossing his extensions around! " Dani said. She mimicked tossing his new hair around. This made us laugh even harder.

"God, they were so bad!" I said, clutching my stomach. You could see where the hair stylist had put in the extensions. Kyle told me to go to that salon but thankfully, 9 years later, I haven't stepped foot in that place.

We calmed down after a bit, only laughing when the urge hit us again. It was just to funny. I was crying again but they were coming from how much I was laughing.

When we all calmed down again we were just sitting there in the silence. It seems like any ounce of happiness we have recently is gone in a flash. Remembering that day, remembering the past and all the good times, was very bittersweet to me.

"Dad was the only one there, remember?" I said. They remembered. The smile that was so big from the joke was reducing a bit to the same bittersweet feeling I was having too. I looked over to the slides and an aching pain filled my heart. "We played tag that day. Dad ended up playing with us too. Remember he kept on tripping and tagging us at certain place to keep the game interesting."

He had to shower and clean up all of our scraped knees and elbows before we left for his job. I think that's when he realized that he had his heart set on being a doctor. He was doing a degree in law but changed literally the next day.

"Guys, I don't want us to fall apart," I said. "We have been through so much together. I can't imagine life without you guys. And Dad- he loved you guys so much too. He talked about you as if you were his kids too."

"Dani," I looked towards her, new tears forming in my eyes. "Remember, when you first moved here. We could barely get you to talk. But Dad was able to get you to start talking when we couldn't. And Joshua-" I looked towards him, "He tried helping you so much with your family, and the addiction. But he never pushed you too far. He knew how delicate the situation was." I turned around to Greyson. He knew where I was going with this. He was about to start crying too. "And Greyson, he showed you so much love. What love from a parent should be like. We both know this: He treated you more like his own son than your own dad did."

They stopped swinging, clutching the cold chains that was holding them up. But these chains never held them up all the times, Dad did.

I knew they were remembering all those years we spent together. All those games we played and the booboos we got from it, the questions we had about homework and the detentions we got sometimes for not doing said homework, our very awkward first dates and our very intimate first times. We were all there for each other, and Dad was always ready to give us a helping hand.

"Joshua, I'm sorry, man," Greyson said abruptly to him, again. "I'm sorry for everything I said and did. I wasn't thinking straight."

Greyson got up and stood a little ways in front Joshua, extending a hand out. Joshua slowly got up and stood to face him. He looked at Greyson's extended hand, meant to be shaken, but pushed it to the side and hugged him. Greyson keeps forgetting. In the business world you apologize with a fake gestures and useless words, but with kin the words come from the heart and the actions always speak louder than words. He was shocked but eventually hugged him back. They both put their pride aside for a moment and cried into each other's arms.

"I just don't want to lose you, buddy. You're my best friend. You always have. I can't lose you too." Greyson imagined what that future would have been like for a second then cried even harder into Joshua.

"I'm sorry, Greyson. I didn't realize what I was doing. I wasn't using my head either."

"I know you weren't. It's filled with nothing but air, you big dingus. But you listen to me, you can always talk to me if something is up, you know that."

He finally let go of Joshua and faced Dani. He lowered his head as to not fully look at another man's woman all the way. But he still looked at her, giving her the respect she deserves.

"Dani I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have said those things too you. It was wrong of me. Please, forgive me."

"Yeah you shouldn't have," she said, in a voice she usually reserved for strangers. Greyson's head hung low, ashamed of himself. "But-" and a huge cheesy grin came to her face, "I shouldn't have said the things I said either, so I guess that makes us even." She is such a Toph. All she needs to be is blind and she could play the character in real life.

Joshua gave her a hand as she got up. The three of them shared a hug, something we honestly haven't done in a while.

"Joshua, listen to me very closely: You break her heart and I am seriously calling that guy. And Dani, make sure you guys take care of each other. Only you two can make this relationship work."

Dad and Victor would be so proud of them. They both worked so hard to help us figure things out. But we managed to do it on own today. This was one of the many lessons they tried teaching us. But it's going to be a long time before we can pass their test.

"Go get your wife," Joshua said. Greyson blushed and pulled me into their hug. It was very warm and comforting. The promise we made a long time ago may have been the thing that declared us best friends, but the love we show each other is the thing that will keep us best friends forever.

"Tag! You're it!" Greyson said, tagging Joshua on the back. We all stepped away from the hug, realizing what he did. A smile came to our faces and soon we were chasing each other around the park, back to the good times.

I know Dad and Victor are here too. Messing around with us and playing, loving the time we spent together.

...

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