In Which Araminta Loses Eren!
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Flightless Bird ∕ Chapter Eight

Chapter Warning .ᐟ
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There is a kissing scene that toes the line
between PG-13 and R. Read at your own
risk lol.

"Are you sure this is okay?"

The sounds of giggles mixed together with soft breaths and kisses drifted into a tent, disturbing what was just moments before a serene and peaceful space. It wasn't a surprise that the source of the disturbance was a pair of (slightly intoxicated) teenagers.

Night had fallen over Marley, casting a darkness over the continent. The inside of the tent would have been pitch black had it not been for several lanterns scattered about, and the dim lighting helped to create a cozy atmosphere. The coziness was the first thing Araminta noticed as she and Eren stumbled inside.

The other thing she noticed was that it was—as Eren had predicted—completely empty.

"No," her boyfriend finally answered her, his breath warm against her skin. He tugged her so she stood in front of him, and he was able to bury his chin in the crook of her neck as they surveyed the tent. It was similar to the tent they'd been drinking in earlier—clearly the home to some refugees.

If it wasn't for the alcohol, maybe Araminta would have been able to realize that this was a stupid idea. Unfortunately, though, she and Connie had gotten into a competition to see who could drink more, and she was far from being levelheaded.

"I'm not sure," Eren continued, his voice low as he began to drag his fingertips up the side of Araminta's forearm, "which is why we need to be careful."

Eren hadn't been himself; that much was clear. He had become distant from her, and she constantly caught him staring off into space, like he was fighting some kind of war in his mind. Even today, their first day on a land that wasn't Paradis, he had seemed completely out of it. No matter how hard Araminta tried to get him excited about something, it never seemed to work.

The second he got some liquor in his system, though, he finally started to relax a little bit. Then, right when Araminta was in the middle of a heated debate with Jean on which one of them Captain Levi liked the most, Eren had quietly proposed the idea of sneaking away for a little bit. And if the kiss he left at the base of her ear was any indication, she knew exactly what sneaking away entailed.

Which led them here.

Back at home, they never really got much time with just the two of them. There were the nights when Araminta snuck into his room so he could help her fall asleep, and there had been a couple of times things between them got a bit heated, but things never went very far.

Now, though, they were completely alone, and prepared to release some pent up frustrations.

As Eren began to kiss along the skin of her neck, Araminta smiled and tilted her head to give him better access. Her eyelids fluttered close, and her lips fell open so soft whimpers could drift out.

"Well, if we do get caught," she panted, trying her hardest to concentrate on her words while he started to suck on a particularly sensitive spot, "can you tell Commander Hange it was your idea? I can't have them thinking any less of me."

He chuckled against her. "But they already think you're perfect," he reassured her. "I don't think they'll be upset if they find out you wanted some alone time with your boyfriend. However..." His cold fingertips brushed against her skin as he started to tug her blouse off her shoulder. "If they think it's my idea, they'll probably accuse me of corrupting you."

He suddenly nipped at her skin, causing her to gasp in surprise. She spun around to face him, narrowing her eyes at him. "But you are, aren't you? Corrupting me?"

A cocky smile spread across his lips as he gazed down at her with half-lidded eyes. "Maybe. But you haven't exactly asked me to stop." He replied, his voice low and gravely.

"Would you?" She countered, raising an eyebrow. "If I asked you, would you stop?"

He suddenly grabbed ahold of her waist, and tugged her close to him. "I don't know. If you want to find out, then ask." He continued to taunt her, and his lips were now only inches away from her own.

The back and forth was fun, really, it was—and it was also really, really hot. But, she was starting to grow impatient. The more she found herself taking in his appearance, and listened to his heavy breaths, the more she found herself becoming hyper aware of the fact that his hands and her waist were still separated by a few layers of fabric, and his lips still weren't on hers.

"I don't want you to stop." She breathed out, then pulled his head down to bring their lips together in a heated collision.

Now that they were finally past the teasing and delicate touches, it was like a dam had burst. It was only seconds before her fingers were completely knotted in his dark hair, and his large hands wrapped around her thighs to lift her off the ground. As he carried her over to an armchair in the corner of the room—Araminta felt slightly dirty for defiling this poor chair—she locked her legs around his waist to keep herself pressed against him.

He sat her down in the chair, and she found herself chasing his lips as he pulled away to pull his loosely buttoned up shirt over his head. She decided to follow him, and started to unbutton her blouse. Eren must have been feeling impatient, though, and he decided that just ripping it open would be easier.

As buttons scattered across the floor, Araminta let out a scandalized gasp. "'Ren! I only brought one other shirt for the trip!" She hissed at him. Despite her annoyance, though, she leaned forward to slide the sleeves off of her arms.

Eren shrugged, then caged her in as he gripped the armrests on either side of her to support himself. "Just ask Hange for some more of the Marley money and go buy another one." He suggested, then bent down to reconnect their lips.

She wanted to protest, but the second his mouth was on her, thoughts of anything else besides him seemed to melt away. When his lips left hers she was briefly disappointed, though they quickly latched themselves onto her jaw. And then they drifted down to her neck, then down to her collarbone...

Normally when she drank alcohol, she felt like her senses became numb. However, right now, she felt like she was more aware than ever. She was aware of him catching bits of skin between her teeth, then smoothing over the site with his hot tongue, and the ends of his dark hair brushing over her bare skin. She was aware of his shallow groans that filled the air, especially when she tugged at his hair. She was especially aware of how green his eyes were when he looked up at her through his dark eyelashes, and the way they seemed to shimmer as his lips trailed down the valley of her chest.

His hands suddenly hiked up to the hem of her skirt, and he tried to tug it off. Just as he was (probably) about to rip that off, too, she gently swatted at his hands to stop him. "I don't need you ruin all my clothes, you know." She huffed as she undid the buttons, and started to slide it off.

"If you say so," he replied with a breathy laugh, then took over pulling the skirt over her legs.

Now, she had only her undergarments and stockings to cover her. This was the most uncovered she'd ever been in front of him. For a long time, she assumed this would be scary—being this vulnerable in front of someone. She thought she would hate it. But... She wasn't afraid.

She wasn't scared with Eren.

His fingertips brushed against her cheek, and she leaned into his touch. "I don't think I tell you enough, Sunflower." He whispered, and for a second it looked like tears were about to spill from his eyes. "I don't tell you how gorgeous you are, not nearly enough."

The quiet, tender confession had Araminta's heart hammering against her chest. She wondered if this was all a dream, or something she'd made up in her head. Because what in the world did she ever do to deserve Eren Jaeger?

Eren, who was so passionate about the things and the people he cared about that. Eren, who must have been sculpted by some kind of god to be as terrifyingly stunning as he was. Eren, who was so incredibly headstrong and unyielding, even when the odds were against him. Eren, who looked at her like she held the entire universe in her eyes.

Her Eren. He was all her's.

Or so she liked to believe.

Without breaking eye contact, he slowly sank down to his knees. His hands came to rest on her knees, which he gently pulled apart so he could slip between her thighs. The cool air against the most sensitive parts of her made her limbs begin to tremble.

Maybe she was slightly embarrassed of the intimacy of it all, and that was why she tilted her head back and screwed her eyes shut. Or maybe it was because subconsciously, she knew it would make the moment his soft, pillowy lips make contact with the edge of her thigh that much better.

He started with light, feathery kisses near her knees, each one meticulously placed. Knowing that the owners of the tent could return any second, Araminta was afraid to make any noise. Her lip was beginning to swell from how hard she was biting down on it.

His lips inched closer and closer to where she was dying to feel them most, and suddenly he stopped. Her eyes flew open, and she looked back down to see him staring up at her.

He looked so stunning like this. His dark hair was a tousled mess, and though he'd attempted to tuck his bangs behind his ears, a few loose strands still fell in front of his green-blue irises. Whether it was from the alcohol or the physical activity—she guessed it was probably a mixture of the two—his cheeks were flushed a deep crimson. Then there were those perfectly shaped lips of his, which were slightly swollen from all of their shared kisses.

Deep down, she knew that this was all too good to be true. It was all just a little too perfect. And perfect wasn't something that ever lasted long for Araminta Holm.

His hands abandoned their hold on her knees, and they instead returned to the chair's armrests so he could push himself back up. Like she could read his mind, she met him halfway so their lips could collide. The crown of her head pressed back into the fabric of the chair as he pushed himself closer to her, as if he was trying his hardest to meld their bodies into one.

By the time they pulled apart, Araminta was dizzy from the brief loss of oxygen. Her nearly bare chest heaved up and down, beads of sweat sticking to her collarbone. Eren stared into her half-shut eyes, his focus flickering between them like he was searching for something.

And then, just as quickly as Araminta's perfect moment started, it was over.

"I love you," he breathed out.

Her whole body immediately tensed up.

"What?"

"I love you." He repeated himself. "I'm in love with you. I think I've probably been in love with you since the first day of training—when you stood up for Sasha?"

You would have thought he just told her that he killed her whole family or something, the way her entire body froze up and her mouth went dry. And that clearly wasn't the reaction Eren was looking for.

He furrowed his eyebrows, and his smile dropped into a slight frown. "What? Why are you surprised? Don't you... Don't you love me?"

She sucked in a breath. "I... I thought I told you before, 'Ren. I don't really know what it means to... care about someone like that. And I don't want to say it if I don't know I mean it." She explained in a quiet voice.

She pulled her knees into her chest. The space felt a whole lot colder now.

He scoffed. "I guess I just thought that, you know, in the three years we've been together, you would have figured it out by now." Bitterness laced his words as he pushed himself away from the chair.

"Eren, don't act like this." She pleaded with him softly, the corners of her eyes starting to sting. "I'm not saying I don't or I can't, I'm just saying I need more time—"

"We don't have more time, Araminta." He snapped as he bent down to pick his shirt up off of the floor. He then tossed her skirt and ripped shirt towards her as well. "I'm going to die in five years if something else doesn't kill me before that. If you can't say that now, how am I supposed to know you'll be able to say it then?"

Each word felt like a dagger to the chest. "But what difference does it make? It's just a word. You know how special you are to me, you know I would spend a lifetime with you if I could!"

"If it's 'just a word' then why can't you say it to me?" He turned around so he was fully facing her.

She paused for a moment, lips parting just barely, before narrowing her eyes at him. "Don't do this, Eren. I'm not going to say it just because it's what you want me to do."

"Do you know what I want, Araminta?" He stalked towards her, then crouched down so they were at eye level. "I want to marry you. I want to have a huge wedding with all of our idiot friends, and I want to be able to call you my wife. And I want to have kids with you, I want to start a family. I want to grow old with you, and sit on our porch and yell at kids walking by. And when we die, I want to be buried next to each other, so we can be together in the afterlife, too.

"And I want it all because I love you. But I'm not going to get any of that, because my life already has an expiration date. And I'm trying to be okay with that, but if I can't even tell you I love you without you freaking out, how can I be okay with that?"

The grand declaration had Araminta completely and utterly stunned. She must have looked like a fish out of water, the way she stared at him with her lips barely agape and eyes wide as saucers. Her heart began to race so fast, she thought it was going to break through her rib cage and run away.

"Do you know what you want?"

Well, she would be lying if she said she hadn't thought about all of that stuff, too. She'd thought about their big wedding, with Sasha and Historia as her bridesmaids and Mikasa and Armin as Eren's groomsmen. She'd thought about how Hange would be the one to walk her down the aisle, and give her away to Eren. And she'd thought about their kids—of course she'd thought about their kids...

All of those thoughts terrified her, though. Because Eren was right. The years since this all started had all flown by so fast, and she was sure the next five would be no different. Eren was going to die. So, yeah, she tried to avoid thinking about all the things she wanted, because when he did eventually die, it would just make it that much harder to deal with.

And maybe that was why she couldn't allow herself to love him. Because it would make the heartbreak so much worse.

"I'm sorry, Eren." She whispered, and gingerly ran her fingertips over the landscape of his face.

A tear spilled onto his cheek. For the first time in a long time, she was able to read him—he was absolutely heartbroken. And it was all because of her.

"It's getting late." He finally spoke up, and pulled her hand away from his face. "We should go before Hange or Levi come looking for us and see us here."

She wanted to protest, and beg him not to leave things unresolved like this. She wanted to fight for him to stay there with her. But she was tired. She was so, so tired.

Looking back, she wondered what would happen if she was able to say it that night. Would things have turned out differently? Would she have been able to convince him to stay? She wasn't sure.

And unfortunately for her, she was never going to get the chance to find out.

Blood.

When she was younger, Araminta didn't really see it. The only times she saw it were when she lost a tooth, or pricked her fingertip on the stupid thorns that grow on roses, or when she tripped on the brick streets and cut up her knees. It's not like it was a rarity or anything, but it definitely wasn't common.

At least not as common as it became when she was ten.

The day Wall Maria fell was stained a vibrant crimson in her memories. Marina's blood painting the streets, her dad's blood that drenched her, the bloodied corpses that hid around every corner... It was just so much blood.

Before that day, the sight of blood made her stomach churn. After, though, she'd seen so much of it that she no longer felt anything when she saw it. On the day of the Battle of Trost, when she saw Franz's blood covering the road after half of him was eaten, she felt nothing. She felt nothing when she blew the head off of a Marleyan soldier, and despite the darkness of the night, she was able to see how it stained his uniform scarlet.

The only time since then that Araminta felt sick at the sight of blood was when Sasha's was all over her hands. And she supposed she felt sick now, too, as Eren's blood dripped onto the white tablecloth.

"I just want to talk. Conflict isn't necessary to solve Eldia's problems."

Bullshit, she would have told him if she wasn't afraid that the second she opened her mouth she would hurl all over the table.

"Hange and the others are fine. We're just moving them."

We. His idiot, self-proclaimed Jaegerists, he meant. She couldn't believe that her least favorite person in the world, Floch Forester, was working with Eren now.

"Eren, we're the ones to at wanted to talk." Armin spoke up. Araminta was thankful he was there. He had always been so good at talking to people—much better than she was. She was a bit envious of him for that. "What made you go attack Marley all on your own? Did Zeke and Yelena really talk you into joining them?"

Araminta stared across the table at Eren expectantly. She wondered if Armin would be able to milk any more information out of him than she got.

The brunet was quiet for a minute, his gaze trained on the table. Then, "I am free."

Huh?

She shared a look with Mikasa and Armin, who appeared to be just as confused.

"The things I do and the choices I make are all decided by my own free will."

Bullshit.

"So, your actions after meeting Yelena... Those were all you?" Armin queried.

"Yes." Eren said.

"No. You're being manipulated!" Mikasa insisted. "You would never get kids or innocent people involved, not even if they were enemies! And I know that you care about us more than anyone else! I mean... don't you? That's why you saved me at that cabin? That's the reason you gave me this scarf?—" her hand darted up to touch the fabric around her neck, "—it's because you're kind! And you care about—"

"I said 'keep your hands on the table'." Eren cut her off, his voice scarily cold. It was strange, Araminta thought. His demeanor was completely different from when she'd visited him.

Mikasa blinked at him, but obeyed him nonetheless.

"I spoke with Zeke in Liberio. Brother to brother." Another person Araminta absolutely despised—Zeke. "He knows more about Titans than even Marley does. Armin," he looked over at the blond, "you still visit Annie, don't you? Do you really think that's your own free will?"

"Wh-What?" Armin stuttered out.

"If memories are what make people, then part of you is Bertholdt now. Just like part of Araminta is Lara Tybur now." He glanced at her, making eye contact with her for the first time since they sat down. But it was short lasted, as he quickly turned his attention back to Armin. "Within you is an enemy, with feelings for another enemy. Armin... Bertholdt has gotten into your head. You are the one being manipulated."

There was something so uncanny about it all. Because sitting in front of her was Eren, she knew that was him. However the words leaving his lips couldn't be his own—they couldn't. Her Eren would never be spitting all this nonsense.

"Eren, what are you—?"

"You too, Mikasa." Eren snapped as he turned to look at her.

"Huh?"

"The Ackermans were intentionally made to protect Eldia's king. Back then, faced with a life or death situation, you heard my order: fight. In that moment, instincts awoke in you. By mistake, you thought I was the host you needed to protect."

As Eren berated Mikasa in front of her own eyes, Araminta wanted to defend her friend, and to speak up. But she didn't know what to say, or how to say it. Anything she tried to say kept getting stuck in her throat. All she could do was dig her fingertips into the tablecloth, and clench her jaw tightly together.

"N-No..."

"No? No what?"

"It wasn't... a mistake... It's because it was you! I became strong only because of you!" Mikasa frantically tried to tell him.

Eren didn't react. "Ackermans with awakened powers suddenly get headaches, apparently. It happens because their old self tries to reject being forced to protect the new host. Does that sound familiar?"

Mikasa sucked in a breath, and clenched one of her hands into a fist. Her gray eyes became wide as she stared down at the table, trying her hardest to process Eren's words.

"Eren, stop it." Araminta finally snapped at him.

When his icy cold gaze was redirected towards her, though, she immediately regretted it. If looks could kill, she would be six feet under.

"And you." The glare he wore was one she wasn't all too familiar with—she'd seen it aimed at other people before, but never at her. "I didn't notice it for a long time, maybe because I was blinded by my feelings for you. But that day in Shiganshina, with the syringe..."

Araminta's stomach dropped, and she immediately knew where he was going with this.

"You had the syringe in your hands, and you wanted to save Armin, didn't you?" He asked. She forced herself to ignore it when she saw Armin look at her out of her peripheral vision. "But when Captain Levi told you to give it to him, you did. And you know why?"

"Leave her alone, Eren." Armin growled.

"Do you know what everyone in the Scout Regiment called you?"

Of course she knew. And it wasn't just a nickname from the Scouts, she'd been called it back in the cadet corps too. Despite her fiery nature and her tendency to talk back to people, she was also obedient almost to a fault—or to Eren, it wasn't almost a fault, it was a fault.

She heard it said behind her back multiple times, and then that girl had said it to her face on the airship.

"A lapdog." She breathed out.

"Yeah. You're a lapdog. And you know what?" He leaned forward slightly, like he was about to let her in on a secret. "I think that's why you can't love me; because you don't know how. You only know how to obey orders. In hindsight, I'm kind of glad you didn't say it that day."

"Eren, stop it. Why are you talking to her like this?" Armin interjected once again, and Araminta could sense him tensing up next to her.

"I was too loyal to you, despite everything. And after that day, I was able to put loving you behind me."

Araminta was trying so hard to put on a brave face, but it was starting to prove to be impossible. Even if she could maintain a stoic expression, the tears pooling in her eyelids would give it away immediately. "So, what? All that stuff you said to me yesterday, and the stuff you wrote in your letter, you didn't mean any of it?"

"Yeah." He quickly replied, and that little four letter word might as well have been a knife to her heart. "I didn't mean any of it."

Everything that happened next was a complete blur. Armin suddenly crawled up onto the table, screaming out as he raised a fist to swing at Eren. But before he got the chance, Mikasa grabbed ahold of his arm, twisting it around and pinning him against the table with a loud thud.

As soon as she realized what she had done, Mikasa released him, then stared down at her hands.

"See? It's your Ackerman blood." Eren said without moving from his seat. "It's all you are."

Mikasa choked out a sob. Armin punched Eren in the jaw.

The movement flipped the table over, causing Araminta and 'Mia'—she almost forgot she was there through this all—to jump up to their feet. Eren fell backwards in his chair, but was quick to recover.

He swung, hitting Armin's jaw with an uppercut, and as the blond stumbled backwards, Eren caught his collar and threw him into the glass cabinet nearby.

Araminta gasped and moved forward to grab Eren, try to stop him from hurting Armin any more, but Mikasa stopped her. "You don't need to get hurt, too."

The Jaegerist guards must have heard the commotion, as they threw open the doors with rifles at the ready. Eren gave them a look, though, and they stood down. 

"We've never fought before, have we, Armin?" He asked as Armin gathered himself, reaching up to wipe at blood that started to dribble out of his nose. "Do you know why?"

Before he even got the chance to try to respond, his face was being beaten in by Eren. Without giving him any time to breathe, he threw punch after punch after punch, until Armin could barely stand. "Because it wouldn't have been close to a fair fight!" Eren spat.

"Stop it, Eren!" Araminta screamed, trying her hardest to break free from Mikasa's iron grip.

Armin collapsed onto the floor, and finally Eren relented. Mikasa finally let go of Araminta, and instead rushed over to Armin's aid.

"If you would just tell me where Zeke is, we could have avoided all of this conflict." Eren said between heavy breaths.

Araminta knelt down by Armin, helping him up to his knees with Mikasa. She glared over at Eren. "Is that all you came here to say? That spout nonsense about freedom in order to make us feel bad about ourselves?" She asked him bitterly.

"Sounds like we're not the ones you should be calling slaves." Armin muttered, and Araminta was glad he would heal because he currently looked like shit.

Eren sucked in a breath through his nose. "You're calling me a slave?" He laughed dryly. His gaze met Araminta's for a moment, and just for that single split second, his eyes seemed to soften. He looked at her like he had in the prison cell, and that night in Marley. He looked at her like he loved her.

But it vanished so quickly, she was left wondering if she just imagined it.

"Come on, let's go. The kid that killed Sasha, too." He instructed his guard, gesturing over to Mia.

"Where are we going?" Mikasa asked as she helped Armin to his feet.

Eren looked back over his shoulder at her. "To where it all started," he replied, a slight glint in his eye. "Shiganshina."

ummmm........ LMAOOOO. the fact these scenes are like complete polar opposites is so funny to me... umm yea we all mad at eren rn. and araminta too just a lil bit but also she is valid pleeeek... this chapter was sm fun to write heh hope u all enjoyed 😍