The One Time He Wrote Back!
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Flightless Bird  ∕  Chapter Zero

OCTOBER TWENTY-EIGHTH WAS THE DAY ARAMINTA HAD FINALLY LOST IT. Coincidentally, it was also her birthday. Her nineteenth birthday, to be exact. She had now spent nearly two decades on this godforsaken planet, and nearly half of it had been alone. It didn't dawn on her until Sasha told her we should get a cake for your birthday, tomorrow! that it had been almost ten years since her life changed. Now, Araminta could barely remember life before Wall Maria fell.

When Araminta looked in the mirror, she couldn't find the little girl she had once been anymore. There was a scar on her right cheekbone, from the time she had crashed through a window and sliced her skin with the broken glass. And across the bridge of her nose was another jagged scar, from when the wire of a Thunder Spear had whipped her face back in Shiganshina. Her face had also filled out a lot since she was younger, since she could actually eat a healthy amount now.

What really set her apart from her younger self, though, was the emptiness in her eyes. That was a more recent development compared to her other changes. Even two years ago, Araminta still managed to maintain a somewhat positive attitude. She was hopeful, and ambitious, and knew exactly what her purpose was. But now, as she stared at herself through the mirror, she couldn't see any of that. Really, Araminta had no idea what she was doing anymore.

There was no time to dwell on her scattered feelings, though. No, she needed to get ready for the day and get moving. The longer she sat and looked at herself, the harder it would be to leave her bedroom and go out into the real world.

So, with a soft huff, she combed her fingers through her hair and tied it back into a ponytail. Her hair was getting too long, she thought. Even tied up, it still reached her mid back. It was too long for training in the new ODM gear she was working with some Marley volunteers on, she had to twist it back up and wrap around into a bun. It was probably about time she cut it a bit shorter. Definitely not as short as Mikasa's, though.

She didn't bother putting on her jacket. Luckily for her, today was supposed to be the first day in weeks she was free to do whatever she wanted. Hange had probably given them the day off because it was her birthday, she imagined. There wasn't any other reason they'd get a day off on a random Monday, in the middle of perpetrations for a possible attack.

It was a sweet gesture, really.

When she stepped out of her room, she was surprised to see her commander was waiting for her in the hallway. They were leaned up against the wall, hands stuffed into the pockets of their forest green jacket and their eyes — well, eye — glued to the floor. They perked up when they realized Araminta was there, though, and smiled softly at her.

"Araminta. Good morning. Happy Birthday."

"Thanks..." Araminta replied slowly. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off doing important commander stuff?"

Hange frowned. "Is it illegal for me to tell my favorite lead researcher Happy Birthday?" They asked, but Araminta didn't buy it. There were too many things going on, there was no way they just stopped by her living quarters to say Happy Birthday. "Okay. There's something else, too."

Araminta watched as Hange pulled an envelope out of their pocket. Her heart dropped when she saw her name scribed on the front of it, in very familiar handwriting.

"It just came in this morning. I know you've been waiting to hear from him, so I wanted to make sure you got it as soon as possible." They held the envelope out towards her.

Araminta stood frozen in place, unable to do anything other than stare at it.

Months. It had been months that she waited for him to write back to her. She had written him six letters, each more desperate than the last for a response. This month, she hadn't written him. She had finally given up on trying to get him to respond to her.

But he had. He wrote back to her. That was her name, in his handwriting. This letter wasn't addressed to everyone. It was only addressed to her. And, of course, it came in on her birthday. Did he plan that? Of course he did. She knew her boyfriend well enough to know he definitely planned it. At least, she thought she knew her boyfriend.

If she could even call him that anymore.

Hange noticed her paralyzed state, and sighed. "I know. You're probably shocked, you weren't expecting to hear from him. If you don't want to read it, I can just burn it, and we can forget all about him — "

" — No! I want to read it!" Araminta quickly exclaimed, snatching the envelope from them. "I think I do, at least..." She muttered as she ran her thumb across the paper. Paper he had touched. It was silly, but it was the closest she had come to touching him since he left them.

"Okay. But, if you change your mind, come find me! We can burn it together, okay?" Hange reached out to rub Araminta's shoulder, and she smiled.

"Thanks, Hange. I appreciate it." She gave Hange the best smile she would muster up, which wasn't much. Her commander didn't seem to mind, though. They reached up and gently patted Araminta's cheek.

"Happy Birthday, Araminta. Enjoy today, because starting tomorrow, things will really start to get crazy." They urged her, and she nodded. The invasion was only a few weeks away.

With that, Hange disappeared down the hallway, leaving Araminta all alone. Once again, she found herself staring down at the envelope, tracing her fingertip along the letters, mimicking the writing. Did she even want to read it? Did she even want to hear from him, after everything he did? After he left her all alone, and never bothered to write her back?

She tucked the letter into the pocket of her pants. She could decide later. For now, she wanted to do exactly what Hange said, and enjoy her day. Her day.

SASHA HAD MANAGED TO FIND HERSELF THE PERFECT MAN. Araminta couldn't imagine someone better suited for her best friend than Niccolo. Even if he was Marleyan, and was still a tiny bit convinced that they were all "Island Devils", he was perfect for her.

"Arie~!" Sasha sang out when Araminta finally appeared in the dining hall for breakfast. Her brunette friend stood up from the table she was sitting at and ran over to pull her into a tight hug. "Happy Birthday!"

Araminta considered fighting her and getting away, but she decided to just give in and hug her back. It felt nice, anyway. "Thank you, Sash."

She looked over Sasha's shoulder to see the table she'd been eating at was covered in familiar desserts. Connie, Jean, Mikasa and Armin were there, waiting for her to come celebrate.

"Uh, what's all this?" She asked, pulling away from the hug to make her way over to the table.

"Lemon tarts and oatmeal cookies!" Sasha told her excitedly. "I know the cookies probably aren't as good as your mom's, but Niccolo and I stayed up late making them for you, so at least pretend to like them!"

"Wait, you made these?" Connie asked through a mouth full of cookie. "Shit! They're probably poisoned!"

Sasha glared at him. "Shut up, Connie! I would never poison my dear Arie!" She snapped.

Araminta stared at the desserts, a small smile forming on her lips. She couldn't believe Sasha had remembered her mentioning all these desserts, then helped to bake them for her. She turned to look at Sasha, trying to hold herself back from crying.

"Sasha, this is so sweet. Thank you." She pulled her in for another hug, which Sasha happily returned.

"Of course. You've seemed really down lately, so I wanted to help you feel better." She began to play with Araminta's ponytail, and gasped. "Araminta! Your hair is getting so long! It's almost to your butt!"

"No it's not!" Araminta pulled back, reaching around to check and make sure it wasn't that long. "You're so dramatic."

Connie shook his head. "No, she's right. It's getting close to your butt." He added on.

"Stop looking at my ass!" Araminta hissed at him, and he flinched when she pretended to hit him.

"It is long." Mikasa said. "But, it's really pretty."

"How do you even use your gear with all that hair?" Jean asked, and took a bite of one of the lemon tarts.

"I usually wrap it up, idiot." She rolled her eyes. She picked up one of the cookies and took a bite. Sasha was right, it wasn't exactly like the cookies her mom used to make, but it was similar enough it took her right back to taste testing them in her old kitchen. "Mm, these are so good Sasha. Tell Niccolo I said thank you."

"Yes, and give him a big smooch from me." Connie began to make kissy faces, and Sasha rolled up a napkin to throw at him.

Armin cleared his throat, after finishing his own tart. "Um, me and Mikasa got you a gift." He told her, then set a newspaper-wrapped object on the table.

Mikasa shook her head. "No, it was mostly him." She clarified, which made Armin's face flush.

Araminta smiled, sitting down next to the two of them. "Thank you. Both of you." She said, then started to peel off the newspaper. Her eyes widened when she saw a colorful photo of a patch of wildflowers, and once she got all the paper off, she realized it was a book.

"It's a book about flowers." Armin told her excitedly. "It's all written in Marleyan so you won't really be able to read it, but I thought you would like the pictures, at least!"

Araminta couldn't believe it. She opened the front cover, began to flip through the pages, and swore she was about to cry again. God, she was so emotional today, she didn't know what was going on.

"This is so amazing." She said, her voice wavering. "Thank you so much, guys." She pulled them both in for a hug, which they quickly reciprocated.

"I also got you a gift!" Connie slid onto the bench next to her once she'd finished hugging Armin and Mikasa, swinging his arm around her. "Behold, the greatest gift in the history of gifts!"

He put a piece of paper down on the table — a painting, it looked like, but it wasn't a very good one. There were three blobs, and what looked like was supposed to be flowers on the bottom.

The table was silent as everyone leaned in to look at it.

"What... Is it...?" Araminta asked slowly, bending down to get a closer look.

"Isn't it obvious?" Connie scoffed. "That's you — " he pointed at one of the blobs. " — that's Sasha — " he pointed at another. " — and that's a Titan you guys are killing! And there's flowers since you're obsessed with those."

There was a collective "ohhhh" of realization.

"Why am I bigger than the Titan?" Sasha narrowed her eyes at the painting.

Connie tilted his head. "Wait. I might have gotten you and the Titan mixed up."

Araminta giggled as she picked up the paper. "It's horrendous. I love it. Thank you, Connie."

He smiled. "You're welcome. Honestly, I got you something better but I lost it, so I made this last night."

"You made this masterpiece in just one night?" Jean gasped. "Connie, you should become a professional painter. You have skill."

Connie rolled his eyes. "I know you're patronizing me, but I'm going to pretend you're being serious."

Araminta let out a soft sigh, looking at the spread of gifts in front of her. "Thanks, you guys. You're all the best. Really."

"Not Jean!" Sasha pointed out. "He didn't get you anything!"

Connie gasped loudly, and Araminta glanced across the table at Jean. He was looking down at the table, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"No, I... I did get something. I just didn't realize we were doing the whole gift giving thing right now." He explained, looking up to meet Araminta's gaze.

Of course he had a gift. He'd had a gift for her every birthday over the last three years. The first time it was a stuffed rabbit, the second time it was a gorgeous vase she could keep flowers in, and the year prior he had gotten her a nice fountain pen. She was curious to know what it would be this year.

"Arie, you dropped something." Sasha said, and Araminta looked at the floor behind her to see that Eren's letter had slipped out of her pocket. "Oooh, a letter? Is it from a secret admirer?"

Araminta rolled her eyes, leaning backwards to pick it up. "No, it's not very secret, I know who it's from." She replied with a huff. She lifted up the book from Mikasa and Armin to hide the letter underneath it.

"Wait, did he finally write you back?" Sasha gasped. "Come on, open it! I want to see why this idiot's been ignoring you!" She whined.

"No." She replied.

"Why not?" Mikasa asked with a frown. "Weren't you waiting all this time to hear back from him?"

"Yeah, but... I don't know. I'm mad at him." She huffed.

"I vote we burn it." Jean raised his hand.

"I didn't ask you guys what you thought I should do." Araminta glared at him. "I'm just saving it until I decide if I want to read it or not."

Mikasa sighed, then scooted closer to Araminta. "I know you're upset with him, but you should hear him out. He cares about you so much, Araminta, he wouldn't do anything to hurt you. At least not on purpose."

"It's true." Armin told her. "I know he's... Kind of an idiot... But he loves you, so I think it would be worth reading."

Araminta stiffened at the mention of the L word, getting flashbacks to the last night she spent with Eren.

Jean coughed. "He might not have meant to be an asshole, but he was. He doesn't really deserve your time or attention."

"Agreed! Fuck Eren!" Connie cheered, which earned dirty looks from everyone. "...Sorry. That was a joke."

"Can we just stop talking about him and this letter?" Araminta asked, feeling herself grow tense. "Today is supposed to be a good day. And the longer we talk about this, the worse today becomes."

That was enough for them. The table fell silent, so soon the only sound was everyone munching on their treats.

He loves you. Araminta, unfortunately, was very well aware of that. Ever since he told her, she couldn't stop thinking about it. Couldn't stop thinking about her horrible reaction, and the fight they had. And then she was angry that she couldn't bring herself to say it, and angry that she was still so unsure about it. You would think that after nine years she would have figured it out.

He loves you.

JEAN CAME BY ARAMINTA'S ROOM ABOUT AN HOUR AFTER BREAKFAST. She had been in the middle of looking through the pictures in the book from Armin, and sketching down her favorite ones into her notepad when there was knocking at her door. At first, she thought maybe it was Sasha, back to gush about Niccolo or something.

When she opened the door, though, she was surprised when she saw Jean waiting there. Well, not really surprised.

Since Eren left, Jean had spent so much time around her. Like he was worried if he left her alone, she would become overwhelmed with the sadness of her boyfriend leaving her and hurt herself. She couldn't be angry at him for it, though, because she actually really appreciated it.

Not like she would ever admit that to him, though.

Sometimes she forgot how tall he had gotten. When they were younger, he was always a bit taller than her, but it seemed at one point she stopped growing, and he just kept going. He was over half a foot taller than her now, and seemed to tower over her. And now he was trying to grow out his stupid beard.

"Hi." She greeted him.

"Hi." He echoed. "I brought you a present."

"You didn't have to." She told him, but stepped out of the way so he could enter her room.

He shrugged as he stepped inside. "I know. But I wanted to."

He passed by her desk, dragging a finger along her sketchbook. "Jesus, Min, you've only had this thing an hour and you've already done all this?"

She sat down on her bed, shrugging. "It's not that hard. They're just rough sketches, nothing special."

"Still better than Connie's painting." He snorted, and pulled the chair away from her desk so he could sit on it. "So... Did you read it yet?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Didn't you say you had a present for me?" She avoided the subject.

He sighed, and dug his hand into his pocket. He pulled out a small box, and passed it over to her. Judging by the way he avoided her gaze, he was all shy about it — which wasn't surprising, since he was shy about this stuff all the time.

Slowly, she lifted the lid off the box, and gasped when she saw the contents. It was a silver necklace, that had a pendant with what looked like what was supposed to be a lily carved into it. It was gorgeous, she'd never owned anything like this before. With wide eyes, she gently pulled the necklace out of the box.

"Oh my god, Jean, I don't even know what to say, I — " She watched as it caught the light from her window, and shimmered. "Will you put it on me?" She asked him, and his eyes widened.

"Oh. Yeah, sure." He stood up and walked over as she turned her back to him, and brushed her hair over her shoulder. He held out his hand, and she laid the necklace in it.

When he wrapped one hand around her to catch the other side of the necklace, she felt his fingers graze her collarbone, and she suddenly felt herself tense up. It seemed like he was trying his best not to touch her, stiff as he clicked the clasp closed. Once he was finished, he helped straighten it on her neck, then moved her hair back for her.

"Jean?" She called out. He stopped, his fingers lingering on her hair. "I don't know what to do."

He took that as a sign to sit down next to her, and she turned so their shoulders were now touching. "Don't know what to do about...?"

She started to toy with the pendant, tracing her fingers along the pattern indented on it. "Everything, really. But mostly the letter." She sighed, pursing her lips. "Mikasa and Armin think it's going to help me be less mad at him... But I feel like it's going to just make me angrier."

Jean nodded. "Obviously I don't think you should read it, but... I dunno. I think you still deserve an explanation. If his explanation is good and you forgive him, great. But if it's shitty and makes you angry, then... You can dump his ass."

Araminta straightened up, looking over at him with furrowed eyebrows. "Dump him...?"

He cleared his throat. "Sorry. I'm not saying you should, I'm just saying you can. You don't owe him anything, Min, especially not a relationship."

She hummed in thought, then leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. "Is it weird that I feel like things were easier when our only problem was the Titans?" She asked him, snd she felt his shoulder shake as he laughed.

"A little. But I know what you mean." He reassured her. Cautiously, she felt him stretch his arm out, then brushed his hand against her forearm. It seemed like he was checking for any sign she wasn't okay with it, but when she didn't react, he took it as a sign to let his hand rest there.

She laughed too. "Thank you, Jean. For the necklace, and for just... Being here."

"I'll always be here." He told her in a quiet voice, one that made her stomach do something weird. "Happy Birthday, Araminta."

SHE WAS GOING TO READ IT. She was going to read it. After much careful consideration, and lots of influence from her friends, she decided she would read the letter. And it wasn't because she was going to forgive him! She just needed to read the letter, and hear what he had to say. You know, for her own peace of mind.

There was a nice spot in the forest just outside of HQ. She found it one day while she was out practicing her shotgun skills, and shooting squirrels out of the trees. It was a small clearing, with a patch of blue wildflowers that she fell in love with.

It was the perfect place to sit down and read the letter.

She took a basket she stole from the kitchen with a few of the cookies from Sasha, and set herself up by one of the trees near the clearing. All she had was the basket, the letter, and her knife that she always kept on her just in case. Though, it wasn't likely she would be attacked out here.

Once she had made herself comfortable, with her back pressed against the tree, she finally peeled open the envelope to reveal the letter inside. Suddenly, she became overwhelmed with nerves.

Oh, there was one more thing she brought with her. The pearl she had found the first day they visited the sea, which she kept in her pocket at all times. For some reason, the second she started to fidget with it between the pads of her fingers, she could instantly feel herself calm down.

Finally, after what felt like years of anticipation, she unfolded the piece of paper.

My Dear Sunflower,

Immediately she felt her heart pang.

That was her. His sunflower.

I think I timed this right so you'll receive this letter on your birthday, give or take a day or two. So, if I did, then Happy Birthday. If I didn't, Happy Early or Belated Birthday. I wish I could be with you to celebrate it.

"Then come home, you stupid idiot." She whispered to herself.

I got your letters. I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner. I guess I just... Didn't know what to say. I don't regret choosing to stay in Marley, and formulating a plan with Zeke. But I do regret not staying with you.

I miss you. So much. Everywhere I go, if I'm not thinking about the future, I'm thinking about you. You are like a plague upon my mind that I couldn't get rid of even if I wanted to. I was out late one night and I found myself looking at the stars, and remembering our late night training sessions.

I miss getting to lay close to you like that. I miss getting to hold you in my arms, and just listen to your heartbeat. I miss the way your eyes would light up whenever Hange would invite you to come experiment with them, or whenever Sasha walked into a room. I miss your laugh when Connie said something stupid.

And this probably sounds stupid, but I miss your hair. Your long, beautiful hair. I miss getting to play with it between my fingers, or comb through it. I miss the way it would always trail behind you when you flew through the air, or when we were riding our houses. I miss it so much. I miss you so much.

I know about your plan to try and take the War Hammer Titan from the Tybur family... I don't want you to do that. It's like I told you on the train, you're so important to me, and I don't want you to ever have to deal with the burden of being a Titan like I do. But, if you really want to do it, I know I can't stop you.

I can't wait to see you again. You, and your pretty hair, and your pretty smile.

With love,
Your Eren

Ink was running all over the page from all of her tears. It wasn't until she had finished reading that she realized how much she had been crying.

Idiot. She was such an idiot. She was crying over the dumbest boy in the whole world.

She crumpled the paper into a ball, then threw it as far as she could. "Idiot!" She screamed out, and her shoulders started to shake as unwelcome sobs wracked through her body. Never in her life had she felt so pathetic.

I miss you. I miss your laugh. I miss your hair.

Her hair... Her long, silky hair... An idea popped into her head.

"You miss my hair, Eren?" She whispered, and slowly pulled her knife out of her pocket. With one hand, she gathered her hair in her hand, and with the other, she raised her knife.

She sliced upwards, and she was shocked by how sharp her knife was. It cut straight through, and now she felt the remaining hair fall around her neck. With her other hand, she dropped the hair she had just cut off, letting it fall to the ground behind her.

She'd been thinking of cutting it anyway. Now, she didn't have to worry about it getting on her way, and she could show Eren that she didn't care if he missed her stupid hair.

Maybe if he had actually been there, he could have seen it one more time before she cut it all off. Maybe if he had been there, he could have convinced her not to do it.

Every bone in her body wanted to hate him. She wanted to have him for abandoning her, then leaving her with nothing but this lousy letter that didn't explain anything. All it did was make her miss him even more. She wished she could hate him.

But, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't bring herself, too. And in fact, the scariest part of all was she was starting to think she might actually love him.

OMGGGG WE BAAAAACK (it hasn't
even been that long)

btw IDGAF if a knife wouldn't be able
to cut straight through hair bc it happened
in mulan and legend of korra so it'll
happen here too!!!!

eren jaeger sucks balls (no he doesn't i
love him) hahahahaaha