In Which Araminta Says Goodbye!
*ೃ༄
Flightless Bird ∕ Chapter Four

THE SEA HAD SO MANY NEW CREATURES ARAMINTA HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE. As a lover of learning new things, she had so much fun each time they went down to the beach. Even if it was to do not-so-fun things like ambushing a Marleyan ship.

She had the unpleasant experience of discovering jellyfish after Connie got stung by one, and they all panicked, thinking he was going to die. He had said his dramatic goodbyes, and even told Araminta that he used to have a crush on her when they were cadets. She cried at his bedside.

He was fine.

They had also found out about lobsters when they confiscated them from the ship Niccolo was on. At first, Araminta had been terrified of them, but when he told them they could be cooked into food, she was less scared. She didn't really understand how anybody would be able to eat one of those when they've got such a thick shell, but she just took his word for it.

Tonight, she had discovered something new. It was something that looked like a lobster, but it didn't have the tail, and it was much wider than a lobster. It had the same big pinchers, though, so she was very wary of the shelled creature.

It was probably not the best time to be distracted by a little creature, and to be poking it with a stick. They had just successfully intercepted another Marleyan ship, only this time the captain of the ship had been murdered by a woman claiming to be an Anti-Marleyan Volunteer. She and another man who had been on the ship had been taken into a tent with Hange and Levi to be questioned.

"Araminta, stop poking that thing. It's going to hurt you." Jean snapped at her as she once again poked the creature with her long stick she had found.

"No it's not! Look at it, it doesn't even have eyes." She told him, rolling her eyes. The creature snapped at her stick with its claw, and the suddenness of it made her jump.

"It does too have eyes! They're just small!" Connie rolled his eyes. "You're so dumb, Araminta."

Araminta glared at him. "Who are you calling dumb? You're the one who convinced us all you were dying from a jellyfish sting. Remember that?"

"Give me that!" He tackled her over and tried to pry the stick from her hands, but she refused to let go.

"Connie, stop it. You guys need to focus!" Jean hissed at the two of them, and Connie begrudgingly got off of her and let go of the stick.

Araminta muttered about how stupid he was under her breath, and dipped into her jacket pocket to pull out her paper and pencil. "I just gotta draw this thing really quick so I can find out what it is when we get home." She told Jean, who rolled his eyes but didn't object.

"It's crazy, that tall lady just shot her commander without a second thought." Connie sighed. "What do you think she's planning to do?"

Jean shrugged. "Can't say. But even if she says she's on our side, we obviously can't trust her."

Next to Araminta, she heard Sasha starting to snore. She had fallen asleep again. Luckily, Mikasa was right next to her, and grabbed her ponytail to lift up her head. "No napping, Sasha."

Araminta finished her rough sketch of the creature, then put her notebook back in her pocket. Now, she could return to poking it with a stick and seeing what happened.

"Yeah, but this is still an incredible chance to gather information." Armin said to Jean, and Araminta nodded in agreement. "We're really lucky we found them."

"Yeah, we've been really lucky." A voice from behind spoke up, and Araminta turned around to see Eren had finally joined the six of them. "We managed to intercept that ship by chance. But if Marley comes in full force, we're finished. We've gotta do something."

Araminta's creature scurried away to go between the rocks.

"Damn it! I lost it!" She cursed, and leaned forward to look in the cracks to see if she could spot it. Unfortunately, it was much too dark, there was no way she'd be able to find it now. "Eren! Look!"

She dropped the stick and turned to him, pulling out her notebook to show him her drawing. "Have you ever seen one of these before?"

He glanced down at the page, and his expression softened. "Yeah, there's a bunch of them down there, on the rocks." He pointed over at the shore. "You want me to back and get you one? It can be like your pet."

"Why would you want one of those things as a pet?" Jean snorted.

"Um, because it's cool?" Araminta glared at him. "But it's okay. I don't need one."

Eren nodded, and knelt down on the rocks next to her. "Has anything interesting happened down there yet?" He asked.

She shook her head. "Nope. The four of them disappeared into the tent and we haven't seen them since."

"I wonder what Captain Levi thinks of that woman." Connie said. "Y'know, cause she's a giant, and he's so tiny."

Araminta rolled her eyes. "You always think about the most random things."

Connie shrugged. "What can I say? There's something interesting about a giant woman." He rested his chin in his palm, eyes trained on the tent.

"You're a freak, Connie." Jean said, shaking his head.

"Did you see that gun that lady used to shoot her captain?" Armin asked them.

Araminta nodded. "You know, we're probably going to have to start practicing shooting more often. If the Marley soldiers carry guns, we probably should start carrying them, too."

"Or we could just shoot them with our Thunder Spears and blow them up." Connie suggested.

"What about in close range combat, though? Then we'd just blow ourselves up." Araminta pointed out. "Maybe we should get guns built into our gear."

Eren wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to him. "Well you're our little lead researcher, aren't you? If anyone can make it happen, it's you."

Her cheeks grew warm. "Maybe with some help." She laughed nervously. "I don't really know a whole lot about guns and mechanics and whatnot... Those are for really smart people."

"Please, you think you're not a really **smart person?" Eren raised one of his eyebrows at her.

She rolled her eyes. "I mean I'm not, like, academically smart. I was home schooled and I barely remember anything I learned in the cadet corps."

"Remember this!" Connie had gotten her creature poking stick from before and poked her in her cheek. He laughed maniacally when she turned her head to glare at him.

"Connie. Give me the stick." Jean demanded, holding out a hand for Connie to put it in. Connie grumbled something about unfairness but gave him the stick nonetheless. Jean threw it as far away as he could, but he somehow managed to throw it straight at a recruit's head. They all gasped in surprise and ducked down when the recruit looked in their direction to see where the stick came from.

"Of course you would throw it straight at a person." Eren grumbled, and Jean glared at him.

"Shut up, Eren. I doubt you could throw it any better." He snapped back at him in a hushed voice.

Sasha yawned. "Who threw what?" She asked, and started to rub her eyes in an attempt to wake herself up.

"Jean threw a stick at a recruit." Mikasa explained to her in her usual monotonous voice.

Araminta heard footsteps from down below the hill and gasped. "Eren, if that guy comes and tries to kill us, you'll save us, right?" She whispered to him, clinging tightly onto his cloak.

He nodded. "Of course. Except for Jean. He would deserve it." He whispered back to her.

"What the fuck are you guys doing?" A familiar voice asked, and Araminta cautiously looked up. Captain Levi was glaring down at them, having obviously finished his meeting with the Marleyans. "You're supposed to be watching."

"Jean was throwing sticks!" Sasha told the captain, pointing a finger at the culprit.

Levi shifted his gaze to Jean, then looked over at Sasha. "You kids are weird. Come down here and join us, we've got some things to talk about." He said with a sigh, then turned away to walk back down the hill.

Araminta reluctantly stood up along with the others. She cleared her throat, and exchanged an amused look with Sasha before she began to head down the hill behind Captain Levi.

The whole walk to the tent, Eren stayed close behind her, delicately holding the edge of her cloak.

THE GRAVEYARD ALWAYS CREEPED ARAMINTA OUT. She had been there once before, when she had gone to pay her respects to their late Commander, Erwin Smith, with Sasha and Connie. The entire time she was there, she felt uneasy, like she was being watched by someone — or something. She never believed in ghosts, but being in the cemetary always made her wonder if she should.

Today, though, she espeically hated the graveyard. It had officially been a week since they landed back in Paradis. A week since they successfully attacked Liberio; a week since she became the War Hammer Titan; a week since she was reunited with Eren; and a week since Sasha died.

Sasha's family had finally found the time to come to Trost to visit her. A few days after they learned about her fate, they had written to Araminta, asking her to go to her headstone with them to pay their respects. Truthfully, since they got her headstone put in, Araminta had yet to go see it. She was afraid that once she saw the words, Here lies Sasha Braus, loving daughter, sister, and friend, it would all become too real.

But of course she accepted their invitation. And Connie and Jean asked to come as well, so at least she wasn't going to be facing her dead best friend's parents alone, right?

They walked to the graveyard in silence. That was how most of the time spent between the three of them in the last week had gone. It was like not a single one of them knew what to say to each other, so they just opted for not saying anything at all. It was alright, though. To Araminta, just being around people who cared about Sasha just as much as she did was more comforting than anything else.

Once they passed through the gates into the cemetary, though, Araminta noticed a commotion up ahead. It looked like a Scout was shouting at someone, kicking whoever it was down on the ground. She exchanged a look with both Jean and Connie before running over to see what was going on.

When Araminta spotted a head of blond hair pressed into the grass, her heart sank. Jean and Connie pulled the soldier off of the man, telling him, "Let us handle this one, please."

While he began to argue back about how Marleyans can go to Hell, Araminta knelt down next to the Marleyan in question. "Niccolo? Are you okay?" She called out to him, and he slowly lifted his head up to look at her.

"No. God — Is it true? Sasha was killed?" He asked her, his voice wavering.

Araminta couldn't reply. She just averted her gaze from Niccolo's, opting instead to look down at the grass.

He nodded slowly. "So it is true, then. What the hell were you guys doing? What happened?"

She tried to reach out to help him stand up, but of course he brushed her hand away and pushed himself up on his own.

"She was shot." Jean told Niccolo, as they started to walk over towards the headstone. "We had just finished our attack in Liberio, when a little girl snuck onto our airship and shot her straight through the stomach."

Niccolo knelt down in front of Sasha's grave, which had two gorgeous bouquets of flowers sitting on it. Araminta wondered who had brought those. She avoided looking at the actual enscription on the stone, instead finding interest in the gravel beneath her shoes.

"Shot by a kid on an airship..." Niccolo muttered. "It sounds too crazy to be true."

"She wasn't an ordinary girl. She'd been trained." Araminta told him, but even then, did that make it sound any less insane? A girl who had been younger than she was when she graduated from the cadet corps was trained on how to kill someone.

"Sounds like a Warrior Candidate." Niccolo said.

"I should have kept my guard up... I'm sorry." Jean said to him, and Araminta looked up from the ground to see his gaze on her, like he was apologizing to her.

"What are you saying sorry to me for?" Niccolo laughed, then sniffled. "All I did was cook her a meal or two."

Connie bent down and put a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you. Thank you for every tasty meal you ever cooked her."

"How are you holding up, Connie?" Niccolo asked him, turning his head to look up at the boy.

Connie stiffened. "You know... Sasha and I were like twins. So it feels like a half of me is just... Gone."

Niccolo nodded. "And you, Araminta?"

It was a question she knew was coming, but it still caught her off guard nonetheless. How was she holding up? She wasn't sure you could even call her reaction to Sasha's death "holding up".

Since they'd gotten home, she had spent most of her time either holed up in her room, or sitting out in her favorite field watching squirrels run around the trees. She hadn't even transformed into her Titan form a single time since it happened — she just couldn't find the energy in herself to do it. Hange had stopped by her room a few times to check in on her, and one day she had told her Eren was asking for her.

Oh, yeah, Eren was in jail. Again. Technically, there was no way in hell Zachary would approve of her going to see him, but she didn't really care. If she wanted to, she would find a way to go down there. But, for now at least, she wasn't ready to see him.

Before she got the chance to respond to Niccolo, she heard a throat being cleared behind her, and turned around to see Sasha's family had made it. Her father had his hat over his heart, while her mom held a big bouquet of flowers.

"Araminta, it's nice to see you." He greeted her, and she gave him a polite nod of acknowledgment. "And the rest of you... Were y'all friends with my daughter as well?"

They nodded, and Niccolo stood so they could have access to her headstone.

Araminta recognized the little girl with them — Kaya, the same one they'd rescued back in the village. When she visited Sasha's family a few years prior, she'd learned that the Braus family had adopted Kaya as one of their own.

As Sasha's mother placed her flowers down on the headstone, Kaya ran up to Araminta and hugged her waist. Araminta stood frozen in place, unsure how to react. "I'm sorry, Araminta. She was your sister, too." Kaya said to her, and those words were enough for Araminta's heart to shatter. She dropped to her knees so she could hug the small blonde back, letting her bury her face into her shoulder.

"If you need anything, just write to me, okay?" She told her, as she soothingly ran her hand down her back. "I can't promise I'll be as good as Sasha was... But I'll be there for you."

Kaya nodded, and sniffled. After about a minute of hugging, Kaya finally pulled away and turned her attention to the headstone.

Araminta stood while she watched the three of them mourn Sasha, and felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked back over her shoulder to see Jean, and took a step back so she could stand closer to him. God, it was really becoming routine for him to comfort her when she cried, wasn't it?

"Sir?" Niccolo spoke up, and Sasha's father turned to look at him. "I'm just a Marleyan captive, but I have permission to work as a chef. And your daughter loved my cooking more than anyone else ever will, I think. So, if you ever want to, come and let me cook for you."

Her father gave him a soft smile, and he held out his hand for Niccolo to shake. "And this would be on the house, right?" He asked.

Araminta was half expecting Niccolo to reject his handshake, but he accepted it with a smile. "Yeah. For sure."

Sasha's dad looked over at Araminta, who was still clinging tightly to Jean for comfort. "Araminta... I want you to know that even though she's gone... We would still love it if you would come visit every now and then. We consider you a part of the family."

It was funny to Araminta, the way family worked. She thought when she heard it from Willy Tybur, her blood relative, that he considered her family, that it was one of the best things she would hear. But to hear it coming from Artur Braus, a man she'd only met twice and that she had no relation to, hit her so much harder.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Braus. I — I consider you guys to be family, too." She gave him a teary-eyed smile. "Sasha was like a sister to me. Any family of hers is family of mine."

SINCE SHE'D GOTTEN HOME FROM LIBERIO, Araminta had probably only gotten a combined four hours of sleep. Every single time she closed her eyes, she would immediately regret it.

Sometimes, she would start to fall asleep, and all of a sudden have visions of the memories of the past holders of the War Hammer Titan — mainly Lara, the woman who held it before her. Other times, it would be Eren staring at her in the command room of the airship, and her stomach would flip at how much he had changed.

Most of all, though, she would close her eyes and see Sasha. Her lifeless eyes, the pool of blood surrounding her, the word meat... Even worse, she'd remember the feeling of her blood soaking through her pants, and feel compelled to run to the nearest bathroom to scrub her knees.

So, unless she was absolutely overcome by exhaustion and had no other choice, she couldn't bring herself to sleep. And the night after visiting the cemetery was no exception.

Ever since she'd gone back to HQ, and retreated back into the barracks, she kept thinking about the fact that she still didn't say goodbye to Sasha. Everyone else took their turn kneeling down in front of her headstone, bidding their farewells to her. Araminta just couldn't bring herself to do it.

Now, though, as she was lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, the revelation was eating her alive. She needed to go say goodbye to her. The longer she avoided it, the harder it was going to be.

With a sigh, she forced herself to stand up, and pulled on her dark green military jacket over her nightgown to protect herself from the cold. Then, she slipped her feet into a pair of slippers, and exited her room.

As she ventured down the hallway, though, she was shocked when one of the doors flew open, and Connie Springer stepped out. He seemed just as surprised as her, letting out a small yelp and jumping up.

"Jesus, 'Minta, you scared me." He huffed, putting a hand over his chest.

"Sorry." She whispered to him.

He glanced down at her strange choice of attire, and furrowed his eyebrows. "Where are you going?" He asked her.

"I'm, um... I'm gonna go back to the cemetery." She confessed to him.

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, I thought so... You know, it's dangerous to go out by yourself. Let me come with you."

"You know I can turn into a Titan now, right?" She reminded him.

"Can you really, though? You haven't tried it once since we got back."

She frowned. He was right, obviously, but that didn't mean she wanted to hear it.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." He sighed. "I know you're having a hard time, which is why I worry about you going out by yourself."

"Fine. Come with me if you really want to."

She waited for a few minutes while he got his coat and boots, then they ventured off towards the cemetery together. Luckily, it wasn't too long of a walk to get there, so she didn't have to walk in her slippers for very far. She was regretting not changing out of her nightgown, though, as her bare legs felt frozen from the night breeze.

Araminta didn't know how she was supposed to act around Connie. There was a small, nagging part of her that felt guilty for what happened. She had been the one to convince Connie and Sasha to join the Scouts with her. If it wasn't for her, they would probably be in the interior together right now, alive and well.

She knew that was stupid to think, though. Sasha would hate her for feeling that way, and so would Connie. It was just a voice in the back of her head, and it wasn't anything more than that. Still, she couldn't stop that voice from piping up every time she was around Connie.

There was a Scout posted outside of the cemetery once they arrived, and he seemed shocked to see them there. "Holm? Springer? What are you doing here this time of night?"

"Visiting a friend." Araminta replied, and before he got a chance to respond, she walked past him and into the graveyard.

She went straight to Sasha's grave, and finally, she read it.

Here lies Sasha Braus

Soldier, Daughter, Sister, Friend

Sister.

Araminta's bottom lip trembled. "Connie? Do you mind if I have a minute alone?" She asked her friend, voice barely above a whisper.

"Of course. I'll be over here if you need anything." He told her, and she listened as his footsteps grew more and more distant.

Once they were alone, Araminta knelt down, her bare knees pressed to the grass that surrounded Sasha's grave. "Sasha... I don't even know where to start..." She whispered, and reached out to trace her finger along the etchings of the headstone.

"You know, I meant what I told you, when you were... I meant it when I told you that you were my sister. I just wish I had said it sooner, when you would be able to really hear it..."

She sniffled. "I think I was just scared. The last time I had a sister... Well, you know what happened. And I think I was worried that if I told you how I felt, I would..." Her throat became dry, and the words got stuck.

I would lose you.

"But that happened anyway." She whispered, images of Sasha lying in her own pool of blood flickering through her mind. "So I wish I would have told you. I think, though, that you probably knew... You always seemed to know what I was thinking, even when I didn't know..."

Something wet landed against her hand, and for a second she thought it might be raining, but she quickly realized she'd started crying. "I don't know what I'm doing, Sasha. I wish you were here. Eren is in jail, and I'm the fucking War Hammer Titan, but I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do. I'm so scared that something bad is going to happen — I know something bad is going to happen — and I just wish you were here to help me figure it all out."

Her shoulders shook as she started to sob, and she leaned forward to rest her forehead against the cool surface of the headstone.

"You weren't supposed to leave me. We were supposed to survive this mess together. And — And I was supposed to cry at your wedding with Niccolo, and you were supposed to smear cake on my face to cheer me up. And when my thirteen years caught up to me, you were supposed to be the one weeping at my bedside. I was supposed to go first."

After that, Araminta couldn't talk anymore. All she could do was grip onto the top of the headstone, and cry. She was starting to get so, so tired of losing people. Marina, her dad, her mom, Marco, Moblit, Commander Erwin, and now Sasha. It was like the list was never ending, and she was just waiting to she who she would lose next.

It made her recall her conversation with Eren from once upon a time, when he asked her if she would change anything that happened. Of course she would. If she could go back in time, she would have taken the bullet for Sasha.

We can't change the past, so I guess it's better to be grateful for what we have now, right?

What did she have to be grateful for now? Everything was absolute shit now. Sasha died. Eren is in jail. She's going to die in thirteen years if something else doesn't kill her first. Everything was just going to get worse and worse, and she didn't even have Sasha to go through it all with.

Then, like a lightbulb went off in her head, she had an epiphany.

"Hey, Sash?" She called out her name quietly. "I think... I think I understand... I'm always going to miss you — I don't think there will be a single day where I don't. But... I'm also grateful that after all these years, you get to have the chance to rest." She smiled weakly, and her fingers delicately brushed against the stone in front of her.

"I hope that you're in heaven right now — or wherever we go when we die, and I hope you're eating all the best meats the world has to offer. And you're going to be up there, cheering me on as I fight for the both of us. And when it's my turn to rest, you'll be up there waiting for me."

She knew that this wasn't the end of her grief — it was far from the end. But, the only way she was going to start her journey was to try and be okay with what happened. She had to say goodbye to Sasha, and the only way she could do that was believe they would see each other again someday.

"Araminta?"

She froze, then tensed up when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I know that earlier I said Sasha was like my twin..." Connie said, his voice close to her. "But you were her sister, and that makes us twins too, okay? And I think... She would want us to take care of each other."

With a sniffle she sat up, and looked over her shoulder at him. He was kneeling down behind her, and it looked like he had been crying, too.

That makes us twins too.

"I'm sorry, Connie. I'm sorry I've been... Hiding. I think a part of me feels guilty for everything... And I didn't know how I was supposed to face you." She told him, stuttering over her words as she tried to stop herself from bursting into sobs again.

He nodded. "I think we're all going to feel a little guilty forever. But it wasn't your fault, okay? Not at all."

"Thank you, Connie." Araminta wrapped her arms around him, burying her face into the crook of his neck. He hugged her back, and started to rub small circles into the small of her back.

"If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you, no matter what." He mumbled into her ear. "Especially with what's coming next."

She started to nod into his shoulder, but stopped. "What's coming next...? What do you mean?" She asked, pulling away from the hug to look at him.

His adam's apple bobbed up and down, and he avoided her gaze.

"We have to talk about what we're going to do about Eren."

i love the braus family sm 🙁🤞 btw anyone
else think artur braus is lowkey fine ?? im just
joking around lawl!!! anyways this chapter
was so sad... a cute little flashback at the
beginning then just Depression. i love it. i still
miss arasasha everyday they will never ever be
forgotten...

also cute little araminta x connie moment at
the end ?? too bad they're gonna fight in like
the next chapter lol. oops ? spoiler ? hahaha.