HARRY / PAST

I got to Madame Lesauvage's class early like I always did. She was waiting for me with a pair of scissors. My hands flew up to my curls protectively.

She stepped toward me with a stern expression and took me by the arm. I winced as I heard the scissors snip. I was scared to open my eyes and look in the mirror, but when I did I noticed that she hadn't cut my curls. She cut off my colorful braided friendship bracelets. Three bracelets for the only three friends I had back in Cheshire. I'd worn them for years. They were a part of me. My wrist felt naked without them.

"My bracelets!" I cried.

She was cold but not totally unsympathetic. "We're beginning rehearsals for A Midsummer Night's Dream soon. You can't perform with these. Beauchamp won't have it." She handed them back to me. "You can still keep them as a memento. Tie them to your bag."

I nodded and sniffed. I was tying them to my bag as Louis and Liam entered the studio. I kept my head down so they wouldn't see me crying.

"Hey, what is it?" Louis asked.

"Nothing," I said, clasping a hand over my wrist.

Louis knew something was wrong. He knew me better than anyone. After the night we shared a bed, Louis and I continued to share a bed whether Zayn was there or not. It wasn't something we talked about, it just sort of happened. We tried to sleep apart but one of us would always give in and sneak into the other's bed. It was usually me, and by morning I had my arms and legs wrapped around him like a koala bear. We hated to be apart during the day too. We spent mornings, evenings and lunch together, and the few hours we spent apart during class were agony. When we had to go to our respective homes for the long weekend, our parents had to physically pry us apart when we hugged goodbye. They said we'd gotten too attached but I didn't care and neither did Louis.

So, later that afternoon, when the soda machine on Louis' floor wasn't working, it wasn't unusual that he offered to go with me to the other boys' floor to use theirs. We performed even the simplest daily tasks together. But Louis was busy working on an essay and I didn't want to drag him away from his work. I said I didn't mind going alone.

I ventured to the other boys' floor at Jebsen House, loose change jangling in my pocket. Only, this didn't look like the other boys' floor. I wandered around until I found a soda machine. I should have known I was in the wrong place. It was clean and everything smelled like shampoo.

I was on the girls' floor.

I quickly got a Pepsi and ran to the stairwell when Gigi popped out of her room.

"Well, well, well, what have we here? Are you lost, little lamb?"

"I'm—" Before I could explain she grabbed my arm and dragged me into her room.

Eleanor was sprawled out on the floor painting her nails on top of her math homework. She squealed with delight at the sight of my scared expression.

The girls wasted no time torturing me. Gigi strapped me into a sparkly blue tutu while El began painting my nails. It was easier to give in than try and fight them. Besides it wasn't so bad. In some ways hanging out with girls was a relief. I didn't have to worry about getting a hard on and they always had chocolate.

"I can't stay long. Louis will wonder where I am."

"What's the deal with you two?" said Eleanor slyly.

"Nothing!"

"Oh come on, we know he's in love with you," Gigi purred.

"He is?" I said, too eagerly.

"Ha!" said Eleanor. "So you admit it, there is something going on."

It was a trap.

"Please don't say anything," I begged them.

Eleanor blew on the wet nail polish on my left hand and grabbed my right. "Your secret's safe with us, honey. Have you kissed him yet?"

"No," I said gloomily. "I'm not sure he wants to. I mean, we sleep in the same bed sometimes..." I didn't tell them it was every night. They already thought we were freakishly close. "And he kissed my back in the shower once but I don't think it meant anything."

Gigi blinked. "Hold up. How the hell did he end up kissing your back in the shower?"

"Well, he said we should wash each other's backs because our arms were sore and--"

Eleanor burst out laughing. "And you fell for that?"

"Wait, you guys don't do that? I thought it was, like, a dance school thing."

The girls were holding their stomachs they were laughing so hard.

"No, Harry, we don't do that," said Gigi. "I've gotta hand it to Louis. He's bold."

Eleanor yawned and began working on a second coat of polish. "He obviously wants you, Harry. You guys should just hook up."

"But how?" I said with exasperation. "How do I turn friend-love into love-love?"

Gigi sat in front of me and began roughly styling my hair, trying to brush my unruly curls into submission. "What do you mean how? Just kiss him for fuck's sake!"

"I'm too shy!" I said, practically in tears. "I've never kissed anyone before. I don't even know how!"

Eleanor grabbed my shoulders. "Calm down. We'll help you."

I listened carefully to their advice. I should have been writing this stuff down because they had a lot of really good tips.

"First, you've gotta draw attention to your mouth." Gigi went into her desk drawer and brought out some candy. "You've already got pouty lips. That's sexy. But suck on a lollipop and you'll look even sexier."

She unwrapped the lollipop and demonstrated. It looked pornographic!

"Wow. Is this how you get Zayn to kiss you?"

She and Eleanor laughed again. "Zayn doesn't kiss me. I kiss him."

"What else?" I said.

"You should put on a movie. Make sure the room is dark."

Dark, I said to myself. Got it.

"Lean on him. Like, pretend you're tired," added Eleanor.

"Won't he just think I'm tired?"

"No," they said in unison.

"Then," Gigi went on, "casually drop your hand in his lap."

"Whoa! That seems way too forward."

"What if Louis did that to you?" Gigi countered.

"I'd come in my pants."

"Exactly."

She might be onto something.

This was all becoming too real. I was starting to freak out. "What if I do all that and he kisses me? What do I do then?"

Eleanor slapped her forehead. "Kiss him back!"

"Just open your mouth and move your lips and tongue like this," Gigi instructed, using Eleanor as a prop. She held El's face in her hands, glossy brown waves spilling over her wrists. Then she leaned in and began massaging her tongue in her friend's mouth, their soft pink lips crushing against each other gently. Gigi broke the kiss but El lingered on her lips. Gigi was so good at this.

Eleanor came to and cleared her throat. "Louis will do most of the work anyway. He knows you've never kissed anyone before."

Did I have 'never been kissed' written across my forehead? "Is it that obvious?"

"Honestly, yes."

We unwrapped the lollipops and talked technique while licking and swirling our tongues around the hard red candy.

Just then, Louis and Zayn tumbled through the door.

"There you are!" Louis cried. "I've been worried sick... Dear God, what have these harpies done to you?"

Gigi fluffed up my tutu. "He's Titania. Pretty, no?"

"He's Lysander!" Louis barked. He pulled me up off the ground and ripped off the tutu. "Come on, let's get out of here," he said, his hand fixed possessively on the small of my back.

"Wait!" Gigi put a cluster of lollipops in my hand. I gave her a knowing look.

Louis rolled his eyes. "Quit trying to buy his love, Gigi! He was my friend first! You can't have him."

"You'll thank me for this later, Tomlinson. Mark my words."

Zayn stayed behind in Gigi's room and Louis and I went back upstairs to his.

"Gigi is so damn greedy!" Louis complained as he stomped up the steps. "She takes up all of Zayn and Eleanor's time and now she's trying to steal you away from me too!"

"She's not so bad," I said, still sucking on my lollipop. "Want to watch a movie?"

He agreed, though all he really wanted to do was bitch about Gigi. All I wanted to do was kiss him the way Gigi kissed Eleanor!

I picked the sexiest movie I could find on his computer, which wasn't sexy at all but it would have to do. "Guardians of the Galaxy?" I suggested.

"Sure."

We nestled together on the top bunk with his laptop on our thighs. As he clicked on the movie, I sucked on my lollipop suggestively, smacking my lips for added effect.

He leaned back as the movie started. It was still sunny outside. The room needed to be dark!

"Let me close the drapes so we can see the screen better." I climbed off the bed and drew the drapes. Then I climbed back on the bed and cuddled up next to him, staring right in his eyes as I twirled the lollipop in my mouth.

The girls were right. He was looking at my lips now.

"That looks tasty," he said.

"It is," I replied breathlessly through a mouthful of candy.

He plucked the lollipop from my mouth and stuck it in his, winking at me cheekily.

Dammit.

I had to move onto plan B. Five minutes into the movie I slowly leaned over, until my head was on his shoulder. He draped an arm around me and pulled me in even closer. It was working! I had to wait a few more minutes before I could make my next move and put my hand on his lap. My arm was tucked awkwardly behind me and his body was so comfortable I didn't want to move. Every time I tried he drew me more tightly to his chest.

Then he slipped a hand under my shirt and began to pet my back. We only did this to each other in bed at night, when we were half-asleep--never during the day when we were lucid enough to acknowledge it was happening.

I completely forgot about my plan and gave in to the sensation of him petting me. Then he began to say the things he only had the courage to say at night: "Do you like this? Your skin is so soft, Harry. I like touching you..."

Louis' touch felt like feathers and fireworks and everything good in this world. There was nothing I loved more than being touched by him. Then I began to say the things I only had the courage to say at night: "I like it. Your hands feel so good, Louis. More, more..."

I could feel his breathing quicken. I knew if I lifted my head he would kiss me. But I couldn't. The more he petted me, the more relaxed I became, until my eyelids grew heavier and heavier and I drifted off to sleep...

I woke up hours later, tucked into bed with Louis doing his homework beside me.

"I missed the whole movie! Why didn't you wake me?" Screw the movie! I missed the perfect chance to kiss him.

He closed his textbook. "You look like an angel when you sleep."

Good answer.

My arms were under the covers and like a ghost limb I could still feel my old friendship bracelets on my wrist. I touched my wrist out of habit but noticed that there was a bracelet there! I pulled out my arm and saw a braided leather bracelet with a silver bead.

"It's mine," said Louis. "I know Madame cut yours off. I saw you crying in the studio earlier. So, I gave you mine while you were asleep. See, it has a clasp so you can take it off during class."

I nodded but I knew that I would never take it off. Ever.

I held up my hand to admire it more closely. "Thank you, Louis. I love it! This is the nicest friendship bracelet anyone's ever given me."

Louis took my hand in his and kissed it. "You're more than a friend, Harry."

A/N: In the next "past" chapter they begin auditions and rehearsals for A Midsummer Night's Dream, and Harry might just get that kiss.

I hope this chapter made sense. It might seem odd that they are so close and affectionate in some ways and so shy in others but I think it's harder, and a much bigger deal, to kiss your best friend.

Things definitely escalate in the next "present" chapter. They have a huge fight. But there's a ray of hope...