Thirty minutes after leaving the town, we pulled over at a beach area that overlooked Hudson's Bay, with a mix of small light-coloured rocks, darker bouldered sections, and sand.

Once the guide confirmed it was safe to depart the bus, we still checked for bears but found none. A cool breeze cut right through my sweater, sending goosebumps across my skin, and I rubbed at my biceps.

Marcela mentioned going hunting for wildflowers, and Caleb's eyes lit up.

"You should go," I said.

"Do you want to come?" He encased my hand in his warm one. As much as I loved being around him, I needed time alone to reflect on our future or lack thereof.

"I'll stay on the beach here."

He didn't release my hand but studied me more closely than on the bus. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine, I'm just tired from the train."

He scrutinized the rocky landscape with a furrowed brow. "I don't want to leave you alone in polar bear country."

"You're not. The guide's right here. Don't miss out because of me."

Yannick cleared his throat. "I can stay. Believe it or not, I've seen plenty of wildflowers."

Caleb looked between Marcela and me.

"Just go. It's not like you're off on a big hike. You won't be out of our line of sight or gone for over five minutes," I said.

"You're sure?"

When I nodded, he pecked me on the cheek and followed Marcela.

"I can't muster up her enthusiasm for it each day," Yannick said. "Thank goodness Caleb can."

The idea had been intriguing, but having a few moments away from Caleb would help clear my head or send my thoughts spiralling. My brain wasn't always a great ally.

Yannick continued, "The coast is perfect for me. If those chairs were in better shape, I'd have a rest."

One white and one green plastic patio chair sat blown over on the beach. They were discoloured enough that they must have remained there for a while. Did locals come out here to take in the coast? It seemed like a pleasant spot if you got over the polar bear risk, which still scratched at my senses as unexpected sounds made me tense, even if they were only tourists displacing rocks.

Yannick turned to me. "Forgive me if this is overstepping, but are you okay? I only ask because I've been where you are, and although it can be exciting, I don't envy your situation."

My next inhale was shaky like the spruce trees in the arctic winds, and I bit my lip to steady myself. I must have looked a wreck if Caleb and Yannick, who I'd only met last night, picked up on it enough to ask.

"How hard is the separation?" The answer would be discouraging, but I had to know.

Yannick's wince answered the question for me. "It's heartbreaking, confusing, frustrating, unfair, all those pleasant feelings." His smile wasn't as natural as it had been on the bus.

That sounded as fun and painful as fighting a polar bear.

"Can I ask how you go through it? Because you two are quite happy now."

I wanted that with Caleb as much, if not more, than I wanted to see the Great Barrier Reef. Ideally, I'd experience both, but if I had to choose, it would be a future with him.

Yannick smiled softly at me like it wasn't an invasive question to ask a stranger, although shortly after meeting Caleb, we'd had personal conversations.

"Of course. At first, like you two, we planned for our relationship to end. With her in Canada and myself in Belgium, with established careers, asking one of us to uproot our lives was too much. We'd both been through failed marriages and understood you could give up everything for someone, only for it to disintegrate. I didn't want to do that to her or myself."

Caleb had a region-specific career, with local knowledge that didn't necessarily transfer for him to galavant around with my travel plans. My job was more suited to relocating since PADI certification was internationally recognized and diving practices were fairly standard worldwide. I wanted to visit Australia someday, but if I went, and we couldn't be together, I'd be devastated. Or what if Yannick's prediction came true for us and we did all the work only for our relationship to fall apart in Australia?

"That makes sense." I hoped my tone wasn't as bleak as I felt.

"We remained friends who wrote each other letters and emails and would splurge here and there on international calls to hear each other's voices. Those were the best parts of my day."

Now his grin was genuine, and I imagined him rushing to a ringing home phone, pulling it off the wall, and chatting with her for hours, making her laugh to forget they were so far away.

Caleb and I had it easier considering the availability and free nature of video calling. Even in different time zones, it wouldn't cost us extra to see each other's faces as often as we wanted. But that could last for years, and even when Trev and I had tried it as friends, it had challenges.

"For how long?"

"A year. Afterward, Marcela told me about an employment posting in Ottawa, where she lived. The job was in my field, paid well, and close to her. I applied in a heartbeat and was asked to do an interview. I took my holidays, got on a flight, and prepared how to break the news to my current employer."

"Wow, that's amazing."

"It would have been if I'd gotten the job." His eyes, wrinkled at the edges, still held traces of sadness.

My heart sank. "I'm sorry, Yannick."

"No need to be sorry. It's part of the process. I hadn't quit my job in Belgium or given up my apartment, fortunately. Marcela and I spent two beautiful weeks exploring the region as a couple while we waited for the news. I suspected she hoped I would stay and keep looking, but I didn't. They would have sent me back after six months, and it was illogical to jeopardize a future visa application."

That would have crushed me. Saying goodbye once would be brutal, but going through it again when you thought you'd found the solution to be together was shattering. My heart went out to them both, but they'd worked through it.

"I contacted the company to ask which qualifications or experiences I lacked as an engineer trained outside of Canada. The following year, when they were hiring, I was better prepared and made a return visit with lower expectations. Then I was offered the job."

I smiled, imagining how elated they would have been after that phone call. "That's incredible."

"It was life-changing and an initiation into the riveting world of visa bureaucracy."

We chuckled together.

"I'm still trying to meet the requirements for the Australian working holiday one, and I've heard there are extra costs like notarized documents, medical examinations and chest x-rays if you're unlucky." Not to mention the debt I was already in.

"There's plenty more fun to be had after that with the renewal process and application for permanent residency and citizenship if that's the route you two take."

I hadn't given it too much thought since Caleb made a lasting relationship seem unlikely, but perhaps if I did more research and looked into different visas, it would show him I was serious, and that our future was possible. The working holiday could give me up to 3 years if I did farm work or work in more remote northern regions. When we were back at the hotel, I'd have to search if Cardwell would qualify for that. But I'd still have to leave after three years.

Was that what I wanted? Having a shifting base that lasted for the diving season had worked for me. In November, a few of us planned to move to another region of Indonesia when work in our town slowed. But moving came with costs like flights, finding a new place to live, acquiring more furniture, and staying meant working in a hostel or other tourist area that benefited from fluent English speakers.

If Australia were my home base, more customers may be interested in taking courses during the slow season, meaning I could keep working in my field and be with Caleb. Likewise, Queensland would be close to Southeast Asia if I chose to work out there for a few months. Given how he described his past relationships failing with his commitment to his job, he didn't seem like someone who'd mind me disappearing for work here, even if he couldn't join me. I'd always come back to him.

That would mean leaving Canada permanently, including my family and friends, which I had done, but nomadic living made it feel less lasting. If I were to move to Australia and Caleb and I's relationship worked out, I wouldn't return to any of my people except for holidays. It was a heavy thought.

However, my relationship with my parents and my mental health improved with space. My relationships with my friends had continued, though the distance grew with some of them. We still called and messaged each other, and they would visit when they could.

As much work as it would be, Australia would be the right choice for us. Caleb may have loved wandering and struggled to find his sense of home, but he needed to be near his family. He'd made that clear, and even after his sister recovered, I sensed that wouldn't fade. His family was close and supportive, and that was worth staying for. I only hoped they'd treat me the same someday.

"Thanks, Yannick."

"For boring you with old stories?"

"For being honest. It's a lot to consider, and you've been through it."

"Anytime. Also, as someone who has been through it, if you stress this much, you'll hardly enjoy the time you have."

"Was it worth it, the years apart, the pain of separating?"

He nodded. "I would change a few things, but not the move, and not waiting for her."

"I suppose my melancholy has kept us away from them for long enough."

"It's alright, though you'll want to savour every moment." He gestured for me to go first.

With renewed hope, we found our nature-loving partners. While Marnie was crouched inspecting a plant with white flowers, Caleb smiled at us as we approached.

As I smothered him with a tight embrace, he pulled me tight against his chest.

"That's a lovely surprise," he whispered in my ear.

"You're the best surprise," I said.

"Glad to see you're feeling better." He moved his arm from around me to brush his thumb across my cheek and drew me into a kiss.

"One of you should pass me your camera. You're too precious," Marcela said.

Caleb handed his device over, hardly taking his eyes off me. Then we were in a penguin-like embrace, heads and bodies pressed together like we were fighting off the Arctic's harsh climate.

The tour continued two minutes up the road to an old cargo plane called 'Miss Piggy' which had crashed in 1979 not long after take-off when the pilot attempted to return to Churchill because of mechanical issues. They didn't make it to the airport, but everyone survived and walked there before help arrived.

The plane wreckage was decorated with graffiti and a commissioned mural of human and animal skulls interspersed with blooming flowers.

Next, we stopped by the polar bear jail and waste transfer station with murals on the corrugated iron wall from a giant sleeping polar bear to soldiers and aggressive wolves and bears. Our guide toured us around the outdoor area that contained a polar bear trap, which resembled a drainpipe with a guillotine-like closure, activated when the bear pulled on the seal meat bait at the end. Though it was less intimidating than it appeared as the trap was meant not to harm them.

Our group was gathered around Joanne as she projected her voice. "The jail is our last resort, but Churchill is in the Arctic and on the route polar bears use to reach the sea ice in mid-November. When they wander into town looking for food, we use other deterrents like empty shells and firecrackers to deter them, but if it doesn't work, they need to be sedated and transported by truck or helicopter to the jail. They stay here for up to 30 days or until the ice forms in their own cell and are given water to drink but no food."

"For thirty days?" A woman exclaimed.

"The bears need to see that approaching the town is an annoying and unpleasant practice. At this time of year, bears are fasting in the wild, so it's not too different from what they naturally experience. Plus, with less energy expenditure because they're no longer exploring the tundra, they're burning fewer calories. There are staff to check on the bears and their well-being."

"Can we go inside?" Another participant asked.

"No, we would need special permission and shouldn't stress or excite the bears more. In a few more minutes, we'll be back on the bus and heading toward Polar Bear Alley and the old rocket launch area."

"Think we'll see one?" Caleb asked me with a grin.

"If we're lucky."

"Luck's been on my side since I got on the first plane." He ran a gentle hand along my lower back, and despite my mixed feelings about this both being amazing and having to end soon, I leaned into him. Perhaps a conversation could change our fate. But I wasn't about to start one now with the possibility of missing a polar bear sighting.

Polar Bear Alley was an unassuming, bumpy dirt road running parallel to the coast and a rocky cliff face. With few clouds in the sky, the blue waters reflected the summer sun. A mix of grasses and shrubs filled the sections between the boulders. We kept our eyes peeled on the cliffs that would allow for easy bear-viewing given the dark grey rock and their white fur but had no such luck.

It wasn't until a few minutes later when the landscape was less rocky and more tundra-like that Caleb grabbed my hand.

"There's something there."

I squinted at the white patch within the lighter boulders, but I'd been fooled earlier on the ride too.

"It's not moving." And it was too far to discern if it was breathing.

"Could be resting."

Other whispers filled the bus as our guide slowed it down and cut the engine.

"It's moving!"

Caleb dove into his bag for his DSLR camera, and I glimpsed the ball of fur slowly rising from the bushes. My heart raced, and my head grew faint for a second. It was a polar bear! As if we saw one on the first tour! Maybe life was smiling down on us after being so cruel about our dating situation.

He cracked open the top bus window as others had done and got pictures, still leaving space for me to inch closer for a view of the bear surveying the area. Its paws and lower legs were darkened with brown mud, something you rarely saw in those tourist brochures. It didn't look like it had much intention of moving, which was a slight relief after those speeches about fighting bears. A lazy bear at a distance was the best kind to encounter.

A few tourists at the front asked if we could leave the bus, but Joanne didn't allow it. So soon everyone crowded in on our side, getting their photos. Once Caleb was satisfied with his, he pulled me closer, snuggling me into his side as we watched the passive bear sniff the air before lying back down in the greenery.

"We saw a polar bear!" His voice rushed out in an excited whisper, tickling my ear and skin like a tropical breeze.

"Good eye."

The bear shifted, prompting more shutter clicking from our tour mates. Caleb wrapped an arm around me instead. "Thank you for coming with me. I wouldn't enjoy this moment this much without you by my side."

"Thank you for the amazing trip."

He kissed me on the cheek. "I'll never forget this."

Words danced on my tongue like the waves over the coastal rocks in the distance. When they left my mouth, they were as quiet as that bear. "I'll never forget you."

After he drew me into a kiss brimming with tender intensity, his forehead rested against mine again in a way that felt very much like us. Our closeness didn't end with a kiss or an embrace. It lingered like a curious pufferfish.

"I'll never forget you either."

I hoped it would be because we'd wake up to each other every morning, be it before work or when our joints were aching and cracking from old age. That desire for our shared future grew stronger than it had in the past. There was no wondering or uncertainty like I'd had with Trevor.

Caleb was my partner for life. I just had to convince him it could be a reality and find the money to make it happen.

I decided to be nice to our stressed out couple and offer them a consolation bear. The bottom right image is the polar bear jail. If you want to know more about it, I've linked an article that I found both interesting and helpful during my research for these chapters. Top right is the 'Miss Piggy' plane, and the bear photo is taken in the Churchill Wildlife Management Area (which Caleb and Audrey will visit on their tundra buggy tour later :) Up next is the beluga kayaking tour! Excited? I am :D

Thanks so much for reading!