"Are you upset with me?" Caleb asked tentatively after twenty minutes of silence. I only caught him out of the corner of my eye, but he was watching me.

Crap, perhaps my reflection had been poorly timed. I'd just needed some time to think.

"No, yesterday was an emotional day. I'm drained."

"I am looking forward to resting and being on our own." His grin beamed like the sun breaking through the thick nimbostratus clouds dominating the sky. "Though I suppose making you drive isn't that restful."

"I'm happy to do it," I added cheer to my tone to override the earlier awkwardness. "It's a simple drive, only a few hours today, depending on how many stops you want to make."

"What are our options?" His eyes, green like the surrounding fields, sparkled with excitement.

"There are town statues and a few beaches on the delightful Lake Manitoba, a magically tropical experience," I teased.

He flipped through the guidebook he'd snagged from my parents' collection. "It's the 33rd largest lake in the world, the largest saline one in Canada, and formed from ancient glacial Lake Agassiz. It's more massive than anything we have in Australia."

It was endearing he was into the lake I hadn't realized was saline. While I wasn't as fact driven as him, since I was a kid I made a point to swim, dip my toes in, or at least touch every body of water, be it river, lake, or ocean, I encountered during my travels. 

"Glad you're enthusiastic about it. We'll be sticking between it and Lake Winnipeg for today and part of tomorrow," I said.

The guidebook drew his attention while I focused on the road. The further we drove, the more the clouds thinned into wisps, giving way to bright blue skies to illuminate the golden wheat, purple flax, and green fields. A train track ran along the road, and we caught up to the Prairie Dog Express, a historic steam-run passenger train that took passengers on a return trip from North Winnipeg to nearby Grosse Ile. I had ridden it as a kid with my parents. As I explained that to Caleb, he tucked his phone away and smiled at me.

"Sounds like a fun experience."

"How did your reading go? Find a whole new list of places to explore?"

He chuckled. "Some would be interesting, but I wouldn't want to pull an aquatic dweller from the lake too long."

"Aquatic dweller?" I laughed though I liked how well he knew me.

"The lovely lionfish," he teased with a smile.

But he hadn't said 'my' anymore, and my heart sank.

"I'll be living my best marine life in Indonesia in under three weeks. Pull me wherever you'd like." Even Australia, I'd longed to say as a half-joke to see how he'd react but only managed it in my head yet again.

"Would a beach in Saint Laurent be too far off the road? It's supposed to be quite nice."

"Let's do it."

The farmland turned to woodlands as we neared the southern end of Lake Manitoba, with short aspens and oaks bordering the highway. Soon Caleb guided me with his GPS to turn near the gas station, and we ended up at Twin Lakes Beach. Plenty of cabins spanned the shore. I kept driving until I reached the public area with a few parked cars.

We hopped out and headed toward the white sand beach populated by families building castles or playing on inflatable rafts or boards in the lake. A couple of guys played catch deeper in the water.

Caleb kicked off his flip-flops and ran his big toe through the sand. "Amazing to see this so far from the ocean. Is it all natural?"

I nodded. It wasn't a popular enough beach for them to haul in sand. We kept walking to a quiet area and sat on a sarong I'd thrown down. It had the elephant print pattern travellers loved to buy in Thailand.

While we sat just as close on the sarong as we had in the car, it seemed different. I didn't have driving and the road to occupy me. My toes tapped on the sand as I casually creeped on his smiling face and cute dimples. 

Should I flirt with him, comment on the beach and weather, or try to drag up some long forgotten obscure fact I must know about the province to entertain him? How did this get a hundred times harder than it was yesterday?  

My hand twitched as if wanting to reach out and hold Caleb's again for reassurance, or I could bump my foot or knee against his. Whatever consensus my mind had gained on waiting to test the romantic nature of our connection was lost on my body. But I fought it, and he didn't start any contact either. It was one of the first times I was disappointed to be on the same brain length.

"Something on your mind?" Caleb's voice revived my awareness of the cool breeze rolling in off the lake and the grainy white sand beneath my toes. The sun warmed up the exposed skin on my tanned legs.

"Usually, gift of being an overthinker."

"Anything I can help with?"

I let out a dry laugh. His answer would solve my internal struggle, but it came with the risk of destroying my hope.

"Is it about your ex?" Caleb asked.

"Trevor?" My eyes widened. Had Caleb been worried I'd sat through the drive contemplating getting back together with Trev? No wonder he had said little. "No, I was happy with how we left things at the wedding. Forgiveness and light friendship is all I'd want there."

Caleb's smile dimpled his cheeks again, while his dark hair swept over his forehead adorably. "Your family?"

I shook my head.

"The trip?"

I bit my lip. "Not directly."

"Is it me? If you're rethinking the sleeping arrangements, we could see if there are extra cabins tonight and tomorrow night instead of sharing the tent. Even if you are okay it, I won't do anything to make you uncomfortable. I promise."

He was the best, likely keeping my asexuality in mind.

"It's not the sleeping arrangements."

"But it is me?" His eyes searched mine, causing a lump to form in my throat.

I'd trapped myself in a no-win scenario. Either I told him the truth and risked making the trip very awkward with one-sided feelings, or I made up a lie that he'd see through assume I had another issue with him. Best to go with honesty.

"It is."

"Did I do something at the wedding? Was it slow dancing or talking to your ex or your friends? I'm really sorry if I overstepped."

Caleb was such a good guy, and I couldn't let a fellow overthinker and person I cared about flounder in the scorching sun. Postponing the truth had hurt Trevor, and it was worth the potential awkwardness and pain to reassure Caleb that he'd done nothing wrong. If anything, he'd done everything right and still was.

I closed my eyes and tried to ground myself in the soft sand.

You can do this. He cares about you even after the wedding. Plus, he's sweet and everything you've imagined in a partner. Just be honest and tell him what he means to you. It may go much better than you imagine. Most things do.

My chest shuddered after my next breath.

"I think it's almost everything you've done since we've met: your sympathy, your kindness, your sense of humour, the way you hug me, the way you laugh, the way you approach my anxiety and pain. It's everything you are, but in the best way. And it's leaving me nervous and confused."

My hands left sweaty imprints on the sarong, but I'd done it. His lips twitched as if he was trying not to smile. 

See, it was worth it.

"In what way?"

I took a deep breath for courage. 

Keep going. You've got this. 

"Is it real?"

"The flirting, the closeness, the relationship?"

He leaned closer with each word until all I focused on was him, from his gorgeous eyelashes to his dimples and soft-looking hair. My fingers longed to run through it and to trace the line of his jaw. My arms ached to wrap around him in the most secure embrace, one we'd both know was filled with affection and attraction.

I nodded with my extremities dancing with nerves. Everything from his eye contact to his gentle expression told me his answer, but I still needed to hear it to believe it. 

"Of course it is. I wouldn't have invited you out for supper in Hong Kong or proposed fake dating if I didn't see you that way already. You'd charmed me long before we'd hit Canadian air space."

My heart thumped in my chest like a metronome. Warmth travelled from my face to my fingertips and toes. 

Caleb liked me, a messy, flighty, emotionally unstable woman who adored nature and more and more him. It was a small miracle, but one I was still hesitant to believe.

"So everything you've told my parents and friends you've meant?"

"Besides the ones we both know are lies, yes."

Yes? My eyes widened. We had a genuine connection and almost a week to spend together exploring it in beautiful Northern Manitoba. My real boyfriend could come kayaking with me, snuggle up to me as we watched belugas and polar bears, and kiss me until I wanted to melt.

My grin stretched ear to ear as my body filled with giddiness. The urge to run up and down the beach, jump into the lake, twirl in circles hand in hand with Caleb, no matter how silly it looked, consumed me.

How had I gotten so lucky?

"I meant what I said too. Finding someone who wants to tour the world and who's ready to do it is mind-blowing. I was convinced guys like you who were sweet and understanding, plus adventurous, funny, and fun, were mythical creatures. But you're everything I imagined and more," my words travelled a mile a minute and, my cheeks muscles hurt from smiling so wide.

Caleb laughed with me, and added, "So are you," but as he studied me, his smile faded faster than mine. "There's a catch."

I waited and left all my anxieties to circle the luggage belt away from my heart. No need to panic, as it couldn't be that bad. That was just my anxiety at work. Caleb had liked me since we first met and accompanied me every step of the way with reassurances.

"I meant everything I said. I want to do all those things with you more than with anyone else. We have a connection, and you are one of the most fascinating people I've met. I want to fly out to Labuan Bajo to sit on a dive boat with you and listen to you talk about fish, and turtles, and manta rays all night. I want to tour you around Australia, show you every park and unique species I'm sure you'd love, walk under the stars together, and introduce you to my family." His voice trembled on the last bit.

He almost had me in tears. Everything about him and us was perfect. How did I get so lucky?

"I'd love that," I gushed. When the hell did I start doing that? But it didn't feel cheesy or wrong. 

"If it were a month ago or a few years from now, it would have been possible."

Despite the wind remaining the same speed and the sun shining, the air grew much colder. I shifted my legs on the sarong as one grew numb. The movement sent a sting through my muscles.

"What do you mean?"

Don't panic.

But it was hard when he took an agonizingly long time to answer with his lips pressed into a quivering line as he struggled to meet my eye.

"I-I didn't want to ruin the trip with this... but I can't, in good conscience, let you jump into this without knowing how it'll end."

End.

The word hit me like a gale force wind.

And that was why I should have known better than to let my heart get carried away. Because the pain tearing through it was overwhelming. It clawed at my chest, squeezing the life from my heart and lungs. Every inch of my skin crawl with the sensation of stubborn, biting fire ants.

I took a few slow breaths to try to alleviate its stranglehold, but everything was tight just like the muscles in my uncomfortable body. 

There had to be a karmic god watching over me, teaching me a sadistic lesson. If anyone deserved this fate, it was me. I couldn't fault Caleb or the situation because he was far more upfront and mature about this than I ever was with Trevor.

I was an adult, and I'd gone through this countless times from the other side, so I did what I did best, swallowed my feelings, plastered on a smile, and said, "It's a travel fling. I get it. No need to explain it."

"Audrey, that's not..." But I tuned out his next words, focusing instead on the rush of the wind and water.

Light waves knocked the inflatable boats around, the water calling my name as my eyes prickled with sharp discomfort. With each breath, my nose burned. I stood, tossing Caleb the car keys and shedding my clothing until I was in nothing but a sports bra and black underwear.

"I'm going for a swim."

Without waiting for a response, I bolted to the lake, submerging myself as early as possible in its icy embrace as a mix of the saline lake water and my tears burned my eyes.

I wasn't built for relationships. It was no surprise Caleb didn't see me as a true candidate. As I swam further from the shore, each arm pull and laboured side breath reminded me of the importance of staying in my lane and keeping my expectations realistic. Some people weren't meant for lasting love, and I was one of them.

Audrey really does live in her own head far too much, but I figured this reactions was very her. This certainly isn't the end, and you will be getting answers about Caleb's secrets soon once Audrey can pull her head out of the sand (and water) :)

Thank you for your wonderful support! I always look forward to reading your comments, theories, and reactions, and truly have the best people reading along with Audrey and Caleb's adventure.