While I'd asked Caleb to tone down our romantic actions, I kept his hand in mine as we crossed the yard toward the barn. Its large open doors spilled light and upbeat music to contrast the hum of crickets and the twittering of birds as they settled in for the evening. His palm was warm and soothing as the air lost some of its earlier heat. Even though it was illogical, I hoped our connection might trap this settled sensation spreading through me.

He knew what I'd done, yet he empathized instead of judging. Somehow, he felt problematic for reasons I'd never understand.

Perhaps we had a future beyond the wedding and the Churchill trip. My heart fluttered at the idea. I glanced at Caleb, who smiled faintly, which dimpled his tanned cheeks. He focused on the barn ahead, but his smile grew wider as he noticed my gaze.

As the ground transitioned from soft grass to crushed gravel, Caleb whispered, "It doesn't appear you need to worry about your ex."

Caleb tilted his head toward a corner of the barn, where Trevor and Serenity made out near an empty table. The shock rooted me in place like a bur oak, and my skin tingled with an unscratchable itch.

I wanted this for him. Serenity was sweet, friendly, and likely sexually attracted to him. I had zero desire to get back together, yet why did I feel so hollow?

"Are you okay, Audrey?" Caleb asked.

"Yeah, good for him." I pressed my lips together.

Despite not wanting to look, my eyes darted back for glimpses of their affection. Was he happier without the boundaries he'd always respected for me? Would Caleb feel the same if we got together?

"Are you sure?" Caleb's eyes remained on me.

Caleb hadn't run or panicked when I'd revealed my asexuality, and he continued to support me and be close to me.

I nodded and turned away from the couple. "I am. Let's celebrate with Claire and Vince."

Once inside the barn, I scanned the dance floor, which our friends had vacated. Older couples and a few parent and young kids pairs had taken it over to the tune of 'Walking on Sunshine'. The fathers dancing with their young daughters always tugged at my heart, especially with their wild, tugging arm movements and their little feet perched on their dad's.

"There they are." Caleb pointed toward the bar area, which had several self-serve metal tubs filled with ice, beer, coolers, and bottles of white wine. Beside that was a wooden bar with one of Claire's uncles who'd taken up bartending as a retirement gig working behind it.

We wandered to the newlyweds, who chatted with Shayne and Hannah. When Claire turned and met my gaze, her eyes brightened, especially as she spied mine and Caleb's hands still entwined. It hardly compared to Trevor's PDA, so I kept it going.

"There you two are. Just in time for a celebration shot," she said.

Caleb's hand stiffened in mine before he glanced at Vince, who whispered to his wife. Her energetic demeanour faded as her eyes widened and she nodded.

"Audrey, are you taking a shot with us?" Her tone was uncertain.

On my own, I would have had one to celebrate. But Caleb's tension and that look from Vince had me reconsidering. His eyes had widened with more than discomfort, almost a touch of panic.

"I'm good with whatever non-alcoholic mix they have. This guy has me on buzzed enough with his dancing."

Caleb released my hand and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer with a smile. "I'll take the same, please. Audrey's naturally intoxicating as well, even without her dancing."

Claire grinned at both of us. "I'm not sure what I'm happier about, that you're here or that you're the cutest damned couple."

I chuckled. "Not as cute as you two."

Vince beamed at Claire and pulled her into an unprompted kiss.

Once the bartender poured our drinks, Vince passed the orange juice shots our way.

Hannah held up her drink and smiled at us all. "To Claire and Vince, thank you for restoring our faith that true love exists. Seeing you two makes my heart so full, and we wish you nothing but happiness and love."

"To Claire and Vince!" we chorused and took our shots.

Claire did her signature tequila-cringing face before abandoning her glass on a nearby empty table.

"Props to you two for getting everyone back together," Shayne added.

Claire smiled, looking around at all of us, from Shayne and Hannah in the bright bridesmaids' dresses to Vince and Caleb in their crisp suits.

"Where's the next reunion, Australia?" She looked me in the eye, prompting my face to warm.

"Ohh, Audrey can take us diving around the Great Barrier Reef, and Caleb can show us around!" Shayne's eyes sparkled with excitement that my heart mirrored.

But before my enthusiasm spilled out, I glanced at Caleb, whose jaw twitched as he smiled in a forced manner. No one else would pick up on it, but I'd witnessed so much of his unbridled joy over the past few days that this was for show only. So much for the future I longed for us to share past the trip. I ignored the pang in my chest to save him from my friends.

"Are you trying to scare him off? It took twenty-eight years to find someone who likes wildlife, travel, and exploring as much as I do."

As terrified as I was that his reciprocation would also be fake, I met his gaze again. But his smile was much more genuine.

"That would be impossible, my lovely lionfish," he whispered the last part to me, but from my friends' grins, I suspect they heard. Had he remembered they were one of my favourite fish?

"Wherever it ends up being, I agree a reunion would be amazing." I'd be on board for any excuse to travel with my friends. If Caleb wanted to join, it would be amazing.

"In a year or two?" Shayne suggested.

Everyone nodded, including Caleb. My mind, which wanted to break my heart, pictured us standing on a beach overlooking the ocean. As we watched the ebb and flow of the waves, he stood behind me, arms wrapped around my torso, and he whispered sweet things in my ear while the ocean breeze kissed our skin.

The moment was broken when Vince's grandparents arrived, pulling away the newlyweds. Caleb asked if I wanted to dance, and I agreed. Trevor and Serenity had disappeared too.

A slower, romantic song played as Caleb and I arrived. We drifted toward each other without saying a word, my arms looping around his neck. He pulled me close enough to rest my head near his shoulder.

"Sorry about my friends," I said.

"Don't be. They're excited for you."

"Our situation may put you in an awkward spot with Vince and Claire."

"Has anyone told you that you worry too much?"

I chuckled. "Yes."

He ran a gentle hand along my upper back. His touch never failed to soothe me. "It can't be good for your mental health."

"Not at all. But some of it is warranted."

"Is it? Your ex has moved on, your friends are happy for us, and all those fears you have about your future and binding commitment—"

My breath caught in my throat as I awaited his rebuttal.

"—they're not as appalling as you think."

Was Caleb just being supportive to cheer me up, or was he implying more?

"Remind me again how you were still single when we met."

He chuckled. "I think the words 'married to your job' and 'more interested in the natural world than a girlfriend' have been cited. 'Nothing in common' and 'boring' have been used too."

"I can't imagine thinking that about you. Plus, if you care about your job, it means you've found one that matters, doesn't it?"

He shyly met my gaze and smiled. "You've caught me on vacation and on leave from work, so it isn't the true Caleb experience."

I wanted to ask why he was on leave, but that might shut him down when he opened up, so I went another route. "Would you consider yourself a workaholic?"

"When I'm invested in a project, I can get obsessive about it, but it's because it's pressing and destroying a habitat. It's hard to say 'I'd love to go out for drinks with your friends,' when a poorly constructed plan or report would endanger fragile ecosystems. I'd go once the project is over, but I have driven the person away by then."

"How many passion projects do you have a year?"

Caleb stepped closer to me. "Passion projects? I like that." As we shared a smile, giddiness ran through me. "Perhaps two or three? The rest is fairly routine."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"They can last over a month."

"Isn't it better to do something valuable with your time you can be proud of than to whittle time away after unfulfilling days?"

"Not everyone is as understanding as you are." He stepped even closer, accelerating my heart rate.

Our conversation was going far beyond our immediate situation. Did this mean he saw us connecting past the wedding and the trip? The casual flirty comments were one thing, but getting into your relationship anxieties was serious. Right?

"I disappear on a liveaboard for a week or two at a time. I'm sure that would bug some people too."

"How does it work out for you?"

"To be honest, I have dated no one seriously since Trevor."

"What about me?" he teased with a grin.

I returned his grin. "How could I forget? My charming nature-warrior boyfriend."

We grew a little closer. "I like the sound of that. Can I keep it?"

"What nature warrior? Only if I can have lionfish."

His green eyes glimmered in the soft overhead lights. "Deal, my lovely lionfish."

His words made me smile. What were the odds two people misunderstood by others would become each other's fake date halfway across the world? While I wasn't a big believer in fate, I thought or hoped we had matches, people whose interests, quirks, and dreams aligned with ours.

As if he sensed my thoughts, our faces grew closer despite the slow song reaching its conclusion. His breath was close enough to tickle my lip and carried the sweetness of the juice shot we'd taken earlier. His hooded eyes watched me as he smiled.

"Audrey, I don't—"

But before he could finish that heart-stopping statement, a familiar voice called out, "Drea."

This had to be karmic payback or perhaps just Trev's payback.

Caleb stiffened and stepped away, taking my warmth and hope with him. What had Caleb wanted to say? 'I don't think this is a good idea, or I don't want this to end?'

The moment was dead, so I turned around. Trevor stood with his hands in his pockets beside his date. If he and Serenity had wandered off to do more than make out, there was no sign of it in his neatly tucked shirt and lipstick-free face.

"Hey, Trev."

He shifted his weight from foot to foot. "We're taking off."

"It was good to see you," I said, even if it wasn't quite true. It was painful, but I appreciated that he'd moved on. "And great to meet you, Serenity."

Her posture was more relaxed, and she wore a casual smile. "You too. Have a great time in Australia."

I hadn't recalled mentioning a move... only an impulsive comment to Trevor before she arrived. Caleb looked at me curiously.

"Thanks."

Trevor glanced between Caleb and me, pain lurking in his eyes. Then it hit me. Despite my guilt and breakdowns, I hadn't once apologized to the person who needed it the most tonight. At the very least, he deserved that.

"Do you have a minute to talk? Only if you want to," I asked Trevor.

He nodded as his facial muscles relaxed.

Then I turned to Caleb, whose lips were pressed into a thin line. "I'll be back soon. I owe him an apology."

"Whatever you need to do." He squeezed my hand gently and let go.

Soon Trevor and I sat at my empty table, me at my spot and Trev in Caleb's. Trevor played with the place card as his eyes flickered to me. I took a deep breath as I searched for the right words. Would anything ease the pain I had and still inflicted on this poor man? My stomach clenched, creating sharp fleeting pains and a touch of nausea.

Breathe, Audrey. He's a man you cared about, and still care about. Reassure him of that and his value. Do what Caleb did for you.

A few deep breaths took care of the pain and lessened my tension. I met his hesitant blue eyes and offered him a weak, compassionate smile.

"Trev, I'm sorry for everything. For hurting you, for never talking about what was bothering me..." I wiped my sweaty palms against my dress. "I would have spared us lots of pain. You didn't deserve what I did."

He nodded and chewed on his lip.

"I would have been cheating you and myself if we moved in together, and it would have hurt even more when we broke up. You deserved someone who wanted your dreams as much as you."

He avoided my gaze. "After you posted those videos in Thailand, I started to understand it." His voice was hoarse.

"Which videos?"

"The ones with you raving about the reefs and the fish. You lit up, and even though I was sure you'd done that around me, you hadn't when we talked about moving in or our future. Diving made you happy in ways I never could."

Disappointment lingered in his voice, and I sympathized with him. When you loved someone, you wanted to be the light in their life, and when you couldn't be... that was why I booked the plane ticket.

"You made me very happy. The last thing I wanted was to hurt my best friend, but..." A sharp sting hit my nostrils, and tears dotted my eyes. "We can't change who we are and what we need."

Trev handed me a tissue from his pocket.

"You deserve everything. I hope you find it with Serenity. You are an amazing guy, Trev."

He stared at his large hands. "Thanks, Drea. Caleb seems... he... You're really happy around him." He met my eye and drew in a breath. "Are you... How long are you staying?"

"For two and a half more weeks."

He nodded. "Are you travelling the whole time, or are you coming back?"

"I'll have almost a week at my parents' after we return."

He kept playing with the name card without destroying it. "Would you..."

He looked toward where Caleb and Serenity were standing. Trevor had never been great at asking for support, not in the right ways, and I imagined that much like for me, the absence of our friendship was a devastating loss. While I'd made friends abroad and chatted with mine here, Trev and I had a special closeness. I suspected I had left a void in my wake.

"We could grab a drink or something, like we used to, as friends."

He smiled and set Caleb's name card down beside mine. "I'd like that." He stood and glanced at his date. "Enjoy the rest of the wedding."

"Enjoy the rest of your night. And I'm sorry again. When we got together, I never thought... I hate that I hurt you." A few more tears slipped out of my eyes.

"There's a difference between a person who hurts you because they don't value you and someone who hurts you because they do."

The way he held our eye contact told me he saw me as the latter. It wrecked my exhausted heart once more.

As I stood, Serenity approached us with a smile. "Caleb wanted to let you know he had to make a call, but he'll be back."

"Thanks, Serenity."

"Have a safe trip to Churchill," Trevor said.

"Thanks. Have a good night."

He and Serenity took off arm in arm, with Trevor seeming lighter than before our conversation. It didn't seem like I'd done much, but I hoped it helped him.

Ten minutes later, Caleb returned, hair more tousled and with a far less enthused smile than before, but a smile nonetheless. Before I could ask how he was doing, he asked, "How did it go?"

"Good, I think. He doesn't seem to hate me, at least."

Caleb nodded, still standing a distance away. "Feel better?"

"No, but he might, and that's what counts. How are you doing?"

"Tired, I suppose." His droopy eyelids confirmed his words.

"Me too. We could head back and get some shut-eye before the big trip." My heart danced with excitement just uttering those words. We had polar bears and belugas to see, and we'd spend more time together without questioning whether our connection was fake or real.

"Sure." He didn't match my enthusiasm with his simple agreement.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked.

"As good as I can be."

I nipped the inside of my cheek but couldn't stop myself from asking, "Another tough call?"

"Something like that."

"Want a hug?" I stood with my arms outstretched at my sides in offer.

Caleb drifted toward me, and his touch was more hesitant than before. But hugs, his in particular, had me melting into him, my head pressed to his chest, his chin brushing the top of my head and the space between us evaporated. That touch calmed me, and it seemed him too as his arms around me softened and he stroked my back.

"I don't think I would have survived today without you," he whispered so faintly, I wondered if he meant for me to hear it. That must have been his earlier don't statement which Trevor interrupted. It wasn't what I'd hoped, but I was grateful to have a positive impact on someone after Trevor.

"I am a spectacularly distracting mess." We both laughed, and I regained my breath. "If you ever want to talk about your situation, I'm a half-decent listener."

He nodded and pulled away enough to look into my eyes. "I get it." When I raised an eyebrow, he continued, "Why he misses you so much."

"Oh." I darted my eyes away out of shyness.

"If I'd been your boyfriend for two years, I'd have trouble adjusting to life without you too."

I swallowed as I attempted to digest Caleb's words. He'd said years, not days, meaning it was a theoretical statement, but was it a masked confession? Should I reciprocate them with similar vagueness or up the ante and say even after less than a week of knowing each other, I already dreaded when his departure?

He cleared his throat and pulled away. "We should find Claire and Vince before we leave."

And like that, the moment vanished, and I let it. Perhaps next time I'd have the courage to say something.   

That's a wrap on the wedding section! Audrey and Caleb will be off on their road trip next. Can't wait to share those chapters with you :D 

Thanks for your amazing support as always :)