Thomas: So um... hello everyone.

Every Flicker character who's ever been in the crack book series:

Thomas: I'm here to finish off the series as I was the first character ever used-

Alex: Hey, I was in the first quote too!

Thomas: Yeah but you had the second line and you're my ex!  I am NOT discussing this with you.

Bailey: I had the first line on the second book!

Ash: Actually, it was the person who broke into your house on that one.

Dashawn: I was first on the third!

Dvir: No one cares about the third, and plus, the joke you made hurt my comprehension system.

Dashawn: Dude, at least just say your brain

Jackson: I got first dibs on this one!

Jean-Claude: And you used it to insult me!

Jackson: To be fair, calling you an asshole at the time would've been an understatement.

Charlie: ...I um... I got first on the OC edit-

Everyone: WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT!

Charlie: Oh ok.

Thomas: Alright, fine! If we can't decide from first, how about we decide on how funny we were.

Austin: H-

Trey: Austin, I know you're not about to talk about your humor, you were drunk the entire time!

Austin: I was NOT!

Jojo: Yeah, well the only time you were sober was when I caught you getting railed by Trey in the school's locker room!

Austin: IT'S NOT GAY IF YOU'RE WEARING SOCKS!

Jojo: THE ONLY THING YOU WERE WEARING WAS YOUR HAT!

Mason: Sorry Austin, I have to agree with Mr. Siwa on this one.

Jojo: DID YOU JUST-

Austin: MASON YOU WERE HIGH HALF THE TIME!

Marley: True that.

Mason: Now listen-

Marley: AND your most sober moment was when you used my credit card for Pornhub Premium!

Mason: That was two years Mar, I am a changed man.

Marley: Only because that quote got weird people in our comment section.

Marley: You know who you are you weirdos.

Carlos: Sorry to intewupt, but my roommate status is WAY worse than any of yours.

Marley: And that makes it funnier because..?

Joshua: First of all, rude, second of all, Nikolai and I aren't that bad.

Carlos: Not only do I have to tolerate you two gay fucks every night, but I have to deal with the Gacha community constantly whitewashing me!

Qasim: Hey! Who let you into the multiverse?! You're not supposed to know about all those horrible things!

Carlos: I let myself in motherfucker, and for the record, I saw you shirtless for several months.

Qasim: I STASHED THAT AWAY IN A BLACK HOLE FOR A REASON!

Alicia: Ahem, can we get back on track? If we're counting on the funniest then obviously the ultimate cottage core lesbians are what the fans want.

Annie: Hate to break it to ya shuga', but we haven't had a chapter to ourselves for months.

Alicia: Wait we haven't? Where have all my Tik Tok quotes been going?

Lassi:

Eva:

Sabrina:

Mila:

Kim-ly:

Rosalie:

Jordan:

Ezra:

Alicia: Aw, forget it...

Kai: We don't need your overbearing romance to be funny anyways. My son and I have been having our own special segment ever since the first book!

Lukey: Yeah! How you gonna beat that?

Ezra: Well my segment hasn't been going on for that long, but considering it's a one person segment, I'd say it's 1000 times funnier than whatever you two can pull off. And plus, I don't need someone else to do it with me.

William:

Ezra, sighing: You're still mad I called you a one?

William: Very.

Ezra: Shit...

Aria:

Jacob:

Aria: I'm not even gonna talk about it.

Jacob: If you want funny, just look at Ben.

Ben: Did you really just indirectly call me funny looking?

Jacob: If the horseshoe fits.

Chrissy: He hits himself against the head with a basketball, twice, and sings Hamilton, also twice, and all of a sudden he's funny? Clearly my cousin Becca and I take the funny cake, everyone loves a relatable teenage girl and as a bonus, we have the dynamic duo of "Atheist's best friend is a die hard Christian."

Ash: What about me and Colleen?

Elaina: Ah yes, the pair everyone adores, a cannibal and a stupid bitch

Colleen: Stupid bitch?! Speak for yourself!

Elaina: How many times to I have to tell you, I'm not a bitch because I'm a dog, get it right.

Jo: I think I was kinda funny

Ally: Jo, as your best friend, the only character arc I ever saw you go through was having a crush on me and then realizing I was your second cousin.

Jo: Actually I recently found out that your dad was nowhere near related to me, so that just brings our family tree complications from 10 to 20.

Ally: This still doesn't help your point at all.

Jo: No, it really doesn't.

Grace: I thought I was the fan favorite! People loved my dumbassery!

Mikah: You were the author's obsession for like 5 chapters and then you stopped being relevant.

Grace: And even after I made you a cheesy sandwich...

Nave: Adam and I were a pretty comical duo!

Aphrodite: Nave, your sister didn't even know you existed until like 2 years ago.

Nave: Oh wow, you really had to go there.

Kiryomi: Lesbians with a cat?

Melodie: I thought that kind of relationship was overused in mainstream media?

Natalia: Mel, you're not helping.

Melodie: Oh, sorry...

Quinn: Talk about romantic messes.

Kiryomi: You're one to talk.

Quinn: It's not my fault every transphobic guy on Tinder doesn't say it in their bio.

Viola:

Alab: *cough* Two lesbians in a trench coat *cough*

Viola: I didn't even get to say anything yet!

Tamia: If you want a real trench coat deal just look at my brother and I.

Thiago: You two are literal robots.

Tamia: You found me hot at one point, you don't get to speak.

Spencer: Hey, since we're here, can someone just quickly go through each mafia member to explain why they're unfunny because we've just hit 1000 words on this chapter.

Nick: I can do that for you!

Spencer: Really?

Nick: Sure, let me demonstrate!

Nick: Evan's a literal psychopath, Dill and Natalie's whole personality is puns and cannibalism, Nathan sounds like he's straight out of an anti-smoking PSA, you, Spencer, are a morally confused mess, and I am perfect!

Nathan: If by perfect you mean really fucking loud and annoying, then you're completely right.

Nick: Hey!

*arguing between every single character continues*

Charlie: YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S IT! EVERYONE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

*silence*

Charlie: If we can't decide who's the best, then we'll decide the old fashioned way!

Jean-Claude: Yes! We have duels just like the French used to!

Charlie: What? No! You killed my mom, I'm not taking suggestions from you.

Charlie: We're gonna do this the peewee soccer league way, where everyone wins and it's considered a draw between us all!

Peter: But then how are we gonna finish off the book series? We can't possibly all just say the exact same thing at the exact same time with perfect coordination!

Charlie:

Charlie: 3, 2, 1, go.

Every Flicker character who's ever been in the crack book series: Goodbye everyone!

And that brings about the end of the crack book series.

I'd like to thank everyone, new and old, who has been on this weird and wacky ride with me and has made it this far. And yes, that's all I have to say about it because I spent all my creative liberties on making this chapter.

Again, thank you all for reading, and I hope life can continue as it always was, even if this series is dea-

*remembers that a new update is coming to Flicker at an unknown time and will add more characters to the roster*

...

*sharp inhale* AAAAUUUUUUUUUUUU-

-K