Joana

Pierce was true to his word. The door behind her wasn't opened until 3 days later. Joana didn't know it was three days, but by the growling of her stomach, she knew it had been a while. She was asleep when they came in, but her head snapped up as the door creaked open. She heard the stomping of boots. There had to be at least three pairs of boots, which meant three people.
As they approached, she saw them out of the corner of her eye. One of them was Bucky, the other two were agents. They were two of the agents that helped Lud with wiping Bucky three days prior.

They sat him in the machine, completely ignoring Joana. They left him, unrestrained, in the machine and went behind the closed door with the three locks. They left him completely alone with her. She rolled her lower lip between her teeth.

"Bucky," she whispered. Even though she used the quietest voice possible, the name still resounded off the walls. "Bucky."

The man in the machine didn't even blink. Joana scowled and twisted her wrists, just like she had been doing the past three days, hoping to get out of the restraints. It had already become a habit.

"Buck-"

Before she could say anything to him, the door behind her opened again. This time, she turned her head to see who it was. She almost cried out for joy when she saw two agents carrying to trays of food. One of them stopped by her while the other went to Bucky. The agent that knelt in front of Joana slowly started to feed her what was on the plate. It was just some mush that tasted vaguely like beans. Joana didn't care. It tasted like heaven to her. She finished before Bucky did. He was eating slowly, as if he had been told to instead of desiring to.

Once Bucky finished his food, the two agents left and in came Lud, Pierce, and Karpov.

"I thought you said you were leaving," Joana said as Pierce walked around her, arms crossed.

"Yes, but I have a few more experiments I want to run before I leave this base in the hands of Karpov." Pierce smiled over at his partner, who was standing beside Lud while he examined Bucky.

"Let me guess, Bucky and I are the center pierces."

"You never cease to amaze me with you're cleverness."

"If you were more sarcastic I would have mistaken you for a mirror."

Pierce sent her a cruel smile.

"Joana, you test every single one of my nerves-"

"Obviously not. You haven't even-" He struck her across her face so hard her head was thrown to the side. Turning back to face him, she spat blood at his feet and met his eyes. "- hit me yet."

Pierce nodded towards the two agents who had fed her and Bucky a few minutes before. They stepped forward in perfect unison and started to unbuckle the leather cuffs on her wrists. Once they finished, she crossed her legs in her seat and stretched her arms, yawning, taunting. She smirked at Pierce, but he didn't look amused. Like a rebellious child, Joana rolled her eyes and groaned, but stood up in front of him.

"What's the plan, Pierce? Make Bucky kill me? See if zapping my brain will make me more compliant?"

"You ever read any Greek myths, Joana?"

"Oh! Are you going to feed me to a real life Hydra? That'd be cool." Joana smiled like a giddy child offered candy.

"Are you familiar with the story of Orpheus and Eurydice?" Joana's smile faded immediately. She looked at him with her eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched. "I'll take that as a 'yes'. You see, you seem to be under the impression that this place is Hell. For you, I'm certain it is. And you've also said that I'm the Devil, which isn't too far off. You think your purpose in coming here, beyond what we want, is to save your lover who was presumed dead. If you changed a few pronouns around and gave everyone togas, the story would be almost identical! Except one key part."

Joana swallowed, but her throat was dry.

"And what part would that be?"

"Oh my favorite part! Where the daring young demigod agrees to leave the Underworld with their lover under one condition: they don't ever look back until they are out of the Underworld."

"You want me to walk out of here, with Bucky. Just like that. The only thing I I can't look back at him. How do I know this isn't a trick?"

"Have I ever lied to you Joana?"

"Yes."

"Fair enough." He took her by the shoulders and looked in her eyes. "Joana, I swear to you, not one of my soldiers or agents will touch you while you leave. All you have to do is make it out of here without looking back at him."

"How will I know if he's following me?"

"You'll have to trust me."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Of course you do, Joana! But I know you. You would never give up the chance to save him. I don't have to convince you to do this, because you already want to."

Joana was stuck. He'd backed her into a corner. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of getting one over her, yet again, but she couldn't just pass up this opportunity to save Bucky. If she chose to do this, she either risked humiliation or she got Bucky and herself out of this hellhole forever. There really wasn't any deciding.

"So that's it," she asked. "I just walk out of here. We make it out without looking back and I get to keep Bucky and take him out of here?"

Pierce dipped his head once. Joana sucked in a breath, ready to say those few words, but not sure if she could. This was a trap, she knew it, she just didn't know how.

"I'll do it."

Pierce grinned. He nodded at Karpov, who went towards Bucky and whispered something in his ear.

"What's he saying?" Joana asked, scowling at Pierce.

"That's none of your business," Pierce told her, his grin nothing less than sickening. Her stomach churned. She suddenly noticed how weak her legs felt. She hadn't used them for days. She was exhausted. "Turn around."

She did as was told. Pierce placed his hand on her back and pushed her forwards towards the door. The agent standing next to it opened the door and Pierce pushed her forwards again.

"Find your way out, Joana, without looking behind you. If you do that, you can have him," Pierce said from behind her.

"I'm not your lab rat, Pierce," she said, loud enough for him to hear.

"You are now."

The door slammed shut. Every bit of Joana wanted to turn and see if Bucky was standing there. She took a step backwards, thinking that she might bump into him or feel his breath on the back of her neck. When she felt nothing, her heart jumped. He had to be there, he had to be. She had to believe he was.

So she started walking. She went left the way she had come from three days before. Heart pounding, palms sweating, Joana kept her head high. She looked out the corner of her eye, but saw nothing. She strained her ears to hear his footfalls, but there was nothing. There was nothing.

He's not here. He's not here.

She wanted to check to see if he was there, but then she would fail the test. She found her way back to Pierce's office. From there, she made it back to the medical ward. She was hoping she could see his reflection in the windows, but they had been boarded up. Pierce knew her all too well.

She searched her memory. At one point, she knew where the exit was, but now she couldn't even remember where her old room was. She used to know this base like the back of her hand, now the only memories she could recall were the more recent ones. Setting her jaw and grinding her teeth, she marched forwards, refusing to give up hope.

She waited for something to feel familiar, to recognize something. She felt turned around, like every hall was the same, like every turn she made just put her back where she started. She wanted to turn in circles to see where she was, but then she would lose the game. She wanted to cry, to pull her hair out, to lay down on the ground and die.

She wanted to go home.

But she carried on. She kept herself calm (or tried to) and kept her head high. She felt like a lab rat. She was a lab rat.

Then finally, finally, she recognized something. It was the training room, where she spent so much time training and learning with Danika. When she saw it, she knew it by the stabbing pain in her chest. Memories of Danika and her training for hours hounded her like wolves. She didn't stop for long, just long enough to see a girl, maybe 20-years-old training with her instructor.

Run! She screamed in her mind. Run and don't look back. Don't let them turn you into me.

She walked onwards. After the training room, she found the first room they put her in. The door was open. The two chairs were still there, but they were filled. Two women sat in the chairs, identical to one another. One sobbed, the other had her head hung lip. From where she was, Joana knew she was dead.

The agents in the room looked at her and shut the door slowly. Joana's pulse quickened. This was what Pierce wanted. He wanted her wandering the base like a rat, he wanted her to see all the places where she was tortured in every way possible, he wanted her to not know whether any of this would make a difference. He wanted her to feel helpless.

She passed the room where the old Doctor used to electrocute her. She passed Aleksi's room. She passed the room where she would meet Bucky. She passed Danika's room. She passed the room where they used to hold Bucky. By then, she knew where she was. Her mind couldn't recall the subconscious blueprint, but her feet knew where to take her. She was almost running by the time she found the door. She knew that door. She had escaped through that door once before. She knew that she wouldn't survive out there, but she had to try.

She ran forward with everything she had, glee and fear fighting for her heart. A key card was already in the slot so all Joana had to do was punch in the code. She raked her brain for the numbers. It was that long ago that she had done this, was it? She closed her eyes and let her hands do the work. She typed in the numbers without thinking and let out a cry of joy when she saw the light flash green. She threw the door opened and ran out into the snow.

She had done it. She made it out. Bucky was hers. She turned around. She shouldn't have.

Bucky hadn't left the base yet. He had lifted his foot to step outside, but hadn't done it yet. As soon as she turned, a smile on her face, he put his foot back down, turned and walked away from her.

Joana's heart fell from her chest. She fell to her knees, watching him walk. The snow was cold, so cold, but she could hardly feel it over the pain in her heart. What had she done wrong? She made it out. She didn't look back until she did so. Joana simply didn't understand.

She must have been sitting out in the snow for too long because two agents came to collect her. She let them walk her back to the torture chamber, not seeing her legs move. Her head swam. What had she done wrong?

When she saw Pierce, she tore her arms from the agents who were holding her and lunged at him with an enraged scream. She reached out to grab his throat, backing him into the rails. Before she grabbed hold of him, one of the agents who was already in the chamber stepped between them and punched her in the face. All her momentum went into the punch and sent her to the floor with a cry.

Joana lifted her face back to him and her punched her again.

"That's enough," Pierce said, his voice sharp.

Joana flicked her head backwards, her hair moving from her face. Her eyes bled tear and tear or humiliation and anger.

"What did I do wrong?" She asked him. "I did what you asked. You lied."

Pierce crouched down to her level and brushed a few tears from her eyes, but she shook him off.

"You didn't wait for him to leave, Joana," he told her, his voice gentle. She glared at him.

"How was I supposed to know if he had left if I couldn't even see him? How is that fair?"

Pierce laughed, the gentleness now cruel.

"It's not supposed to be fair, Joana. Nothing about this is fair." He stood, looking down at her. "Stand up."

She didn't do as she was told. She stared at the ground, ashamed of even accepting his offer to begin with.

"Stand up!"

Shaking, she did as she was told. She looked in his eyes, hoping to show him her hatred, just with her eyes. She didn't seem to know that that look was always in her eyes. Pierce flicked his eyes towards the three agents and stepped away from her. She didn't like that gesture.

Before she had time to react, they were on her, pulling at her hair, her clothes, punching and kicking. She should have been able to defend herself. She should have fought back. But she was out of practice and out of hope. She felt like it was useless. Everything was useless. It didn't seem worth it anymore.

When Pierce ordered them to stop again, her clothes had been torn from her body and she was left only in her underwear. Bruises were forming in almost every part of her body. The bullet wound was bleeding. Her lip and nose were bleeding. She lay on the ground, helpless, hopeless.

Pierce heard her mumble something. He crouched next to her curled up body. She was definitely talking.

"What are you saying?" He asked her, his gentle voice returning. She mumbled again. "What?"

She picked up her head, staring at him. He was startled to see that there was nothing in her eyes. Since the day he met Joana, he had seen her portraying emotions in her eyes, but now there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. She looked dead.

"Just kill me," she said to him. Pierce stood.

"Put her back. Feed her right. Everyday. Make sure she doesn't bleed out," he said, not looking away from her.

"Sir, are you sure this is the right idea?" Karpov asked him. "Keeping her alive?"

"No. But do it anyway."

He left the room.

Joana wouldn't see Pierce until he and Bucky were stationed in America. She would almost forget about his torments in those years because Karpov's was much, much worse.

Joana stayed on the floor, unmoving. The man in the chair thought she might be dead. Not that he cared much. He just followed her around the base, that's all. That was his job. He felt nothing. So why did his hands clench around the arms of the chair? Why did his muscles tighten? Why did he suddenly relax when her leg twitched?

Karpov grinned wickedly once Pierce left. He stepped in front of Joana, taking Pierce's place. She felt his presence and curled tighter around herself. He reached out to grab her, but she shot upwards and scrambled away. There had been enough hands on her for one day. He growled in frustration and before she got very far, wrapped his arms around her bare waist and hoisted her into the air. She shrieked as he touched her. She pounded her fists against his arms and thrashed her body back and forth, but his grip was strong.

He threw her into the chair. She jumped out at him, her nails shooting out like claws, but an agent went up behind her and pulled her back in the seat. She seethed, breathing heavily, growling under her breath, as Karpov walked around her.

"Get me some chains," he said to an agent, who nodded and came back minutes later with exactly as Karpov asked. Karpov grabbed the chains and started wrapping them tightly around Joana's arms and legs, keeping her literally chained to the chair. She grit back a cry of pain as the metal bit into her skin.

"I am not so merciful as Pierce," Karpov said to her once her and finished. "I am not so foolish as to fall in love with dogs."

The comment didn't even sting.

Joana kept her eyes trained on him as he walked around her and out of the room. Tears glittered in her dull eyes, but she refused to let them fall.

When she had been laying on the ground, Joana could think of nothing but giving up. Now that she was back in this chair, the desire to live escalated. She wanted nothing more than to watch HYDRA burn, and if that meant sitting in this same chair for the next hundred years, by God she would do it.

***
I don't have any idea why that chapter was so hard to write! Writer's block man. So school just started last week which means less frequent updates which y'all probably know. Thank you all for your love and support. I've got two blogs on Tumblr if you want to follow me: the-nightmare-before-bucky (which is basically everything) and thegreatestofheck (which will soon have stories and stuff). So yeah. I have no idea when the next update will be, but I'm hoping it will be soonish.

Love,
authorsbane