Joana

She hadn't ever heard of the Red Room before. Danika had never mentioned it.
"It's run by the Committee of State Security of the USSR," Pierce told her, pouring a glass of golden alcohol into a glass. "Or the-"
"Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti," Joana said, her voice hard. "The KGB."
Pierce smiled.
"Very good, Joana! They want our help to train some of their new recruits. Well, they want you and Barnes to help train them," Pierce said, handing her the glass. He poured himself another. With shaking hands, Joana brought the liquid to her lips and took a long drink. She had gotten used to the taste over the past few months. All the pain she had gone through, everything that he did to her, and here she was, drinking whiskey with him. Pierce sighed and set his glass on the table beside his bed.
"Joana, you know why I had to do to you what I did, right? You were out of control under the Commander. The only way you could grow was if we broke you first. You understand that, right?" Pierce almost sounded if he was worried what she thought of him. Joana took another sip of whiskey and laughed.
"What's so funny?"
"That fact that you seem to think that any of this is," she opened her arms to the room around her, "Is any recompense for what you did to me. Or the fact that you justify kidnapping, murder, torture, human experimentation, human exploitation, war crimes, assault, abuse, mind control, and whatever else you've done by saying it's all for 'science' and 'world peace'. You are a psychopath."
Pierce slapped her face so hard that that glass fell from her hand. She glared at Pierce, her cheek glowing red, but there was she could do to retaliate.
"Sometimes, I find that lip of yours attractive, but if you ever talk to me that way again, I will not hesitate to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger." To anyone else, the words from his mouth would have been terrifying, but Joana had seen worse things in her days.
"I dare you."

***

Joana walked down the corridor, her heart pounding in her chest. In her mind, the alarm blared overhead. She looked to her side where the Winter Soldier was walking without a word, but all she saw was Bucky running beside her, his face set in stone as he prepared himself to be rid of HYDRA once and for all. Where Danika should have been standing was a soldier, making sure that neither her nor Barnes were going anywhere. Like he could do anything if they decided to leave.
When they turned a corner, Joana froze completely. The soldiers in the hallway faded; the sounds of their footsteps were far away. Joana saw herself, standing over Aleksi. Behind them was Bucky, holding a dying Danika in his arms. Tears filled her eyes.
"Don't do it!" She yelled to herself, but the words she said were muffled, and her other self couldn't hear her. "Stop!" She watched in utter horror as the other Joana dropped to the ground and started to beat the life out of the soldier who had tormented her for years. Her hands came to her mouth as she saw how gruesome his death was. Looking past herself and the murder taking place, Joana saw Bucky and Danika. Danika was still alive. She was trying to say something to Bucky, but he was telling her to stay silent, to focus on living. Joana walked forwards, but every step took her farther from the scene, instead of closer.
A hand wrapped around her wrist. Startled, Joana tore her gaze from the bloody scene before her and towards the hand. She looked into the eyes of the Soldier, who was the one holding her wrist.
"You were yelling." He spoke gruffly, stoic. Still caught in her memories, Joana's eyes glazed over.
"What did she say to you?" She asked him, voice breaking. "Before she died, Bucky, what did Danika say to you?"
The Soldier scowled and was about to respond, when a hand grabbed her shoulder and tore her from his grip. Joana was thrown into a wall. Pierce was standing there, red in the face. He grabbed her neck and squeezed.
"What did I tell you about using that name?" He seethed at her, dribbles of spit flying from his lips. She gasped and clawed at his hands, her legs kicking out at him.
"Pierce," Karpov said. Pierce turned away from Joana to Bucky, who was scowling and looking at the ground. Pierce dropped Joana to the ground and slapped her across the face. Coughing, she crawled away from him, but he grabbed her by the hair.
"What's wrong, Soldier?"Karpov asked in Russian.
"Who is Bucky?" He asked in the same language.
"You see what we have to deal with now?" Pierce hissed in Joana's ear as he pulled her to her feet. "Go on, Joana, tell the Soldier who Bucky is. What happened to Bucky?"
Joana glared at him, setting her jaw and sealing her lips. He slapped her again.
"What happened to Bucky, Joana?" He yelled in her face. Tears gathered in her eyes, tears of frustration and sorrow. "What happened to him?" He threw her to the ground and started to kick her in the stomach. Lifting her bleeding face to Bucky, who was caught somewhere between anger and confusion, he grabbed hold of her face and squeezed.
"What happened to Bucky?"
"He died," she seethed, glared at Pierce with every ounce of hatred she had inside her.
"Tell him."
With resistance, Joana turned her gaze to Bucky.
"Bucky was a man I used to be in love with, but he died," she said, looking up at his scrunched up face.
"Why did you call me Bucky?" He asked her, eyes narrowed.
"I had a memory of him, and I was out of mind. You are not Bucky. He is dead."
Pierce let her go, shoving her head downwards. He walked towards Karpov and whispered something in his ear. Joana sat on the ground, coughing, spluttering, and spitting up blood. The Soldier knelt down to help her up.
"Partner," he said. She gave him a weak smile. He almost reciprocated it, and Joana almost saw Bucky Barnes in his eyes again, but Karpov had to ruin it. He pulled out a small, red book and started to read from it.
"Zhelaniye. Rzhavyy." Bucky let go of Joana's arm. She had seen them do this to him before. With tears in her eyes, she backed away from him. "Semnadtsat'. Rassvet." Joana turned around, completely facing away from the Soldier and Karpov. "Pech'. Devyat'. Dobroserdechnyy."
Pierce grabbed her arm, eyes still angry, and started to pull her away as Karpov continued to read the words. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she walk down the hallway. She pushed out the memories of the things that had happened in the hallway, and let Pierce lead her towards the airplane they would be taking to the Red Room. When Bucky joined them a few minutes later, everything that reminded her of Bucky was once again gone. She looked away from him and refused to meet his gaze the entire ride.

***

When Joana stepped out of the plane, she had hoped that maybe, just maybe, she would be able to see the sun, or the moon, or feel the fresh air, but it was not the case. The Red Room hanger was inside, so Joana didn't get to even see the sun. Joana walked alongside her partner as they were introduced to the mistress who ran the program. She told them that they would help train the Wolf Spider and Black Widow programs. Joana saw some of the recruits and was amazed to see that they were all younger than she was when she came to HYDRA.
"Don't be shocked, Agent Kegley," the mistress said with a smile. "They aren't all as young as they look. Some of them have been here for many, many years." She called out in Russian for a boy who couldn't have been more than 17-years-old. "Dimitri has been with us for 20 years now."
Eyebrows furrowed, Joana could not hide her shock from the woman.
"But...Ma'am...how?"
"Please, just call me Mistress." She said, with a proud smile. "The same Serum that has kept you alive since the 1940s has helped these kids train longer and harder. Dimitri was born in 1936. He should be 31 years old this year."
"He started when he was 11?" Joana asked, shock evident in her voice. Dimitri smiled smugly.
"Yes." Mistress put a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him. "Some have come to us even younger."
Joana managed a weak smile.
"Pardon me." She turned away from Mistress and Dimitri, the feeling of bile in her stomach growing. She knew there had been something that was causing her to age slower, that much was evident, but the fact that they were using it on other people, on kids? Her head spun. She wanted to get as far away from here as possible.
"Are you alright?" A voice asked her in Russian. Joana realized that she had doubled over and was now sitting on the floor, shaking. She turned, breathing deeply, and stood. Behind her was a red haired woman who looked to be mid twenties, but could have been 100 years old for all Joana knew. She gave a small smile.
"Yes, I am alright." The woman nodded.
"I'm here to escort you and the Winter Soldier to your rooms," she said. Joana nodded. The Soldier walked up to Joana and nodded curtly at her.
"Barnes."
"Partner."
The two followed the woman out of the hanger and into a building that looked somewhat like a hotel, only most of the rooms were big enough to train armies.
"What's your name?" Joana asked.
"Natalia," the girl replied, walking straight forward without turning to look back.
"And what do you do here, Natalia?"
"I'm here to become a Black Widow, like all the other girls."
"And the boys?"
"They will be Wolf Spiders. This way, please. Mistress would like you to keep your voice down in this hall."
Natalia lead them down the long hallway that was filled with dead silence. Joana felt her throat tighten and every inch of her body told her to run, that this was not a good place to be. Once they came out the other side, Joana felt a breath of relief pass through her.
"This way, please."
"How long have you been here?"
"As long as I can remember."
"Why did you start?"
Natalia froze for a second, almost as if she couldn't remember. She turned to look at Joana, scowling.
"I wanted to learn ballet." This was the first answer Natalia had given Joana that had any real emotion behind it. Joana swallowed as the woman looked away from her and towards the ground. Finally, Natalia shook her head and kept walking, like the exchange had never happened.
"You won't get in trouble for answering these questions, right?" Joana asked timidly as they continued on their way.
"We are instructed to answer any question you ask of us."
"Ah."
"Your room, sir." Natalia opened a door. The Soldier stared at her for a second, and she stared back, like they were calculating each other. He nodded, mumbling a 'thank you' and entered the room.
"One of the Wolf Spiders will come to see you soon to tell you where you need to be and when. Sleep now." She turned and walked onward.
"Sleep well, Barnes," Joana told the Soldier. He nodded once.
"Partner." He shut the door.
"Ma'am," Natalia called to Joana from the other end of the corridor.
"Sorry."

After a pleasant nap on the first real bed she'd had in years, Joana was instructed to go to lunch and then the training room, first to train the Wolf Spiders. The food was better than anything she had ever been given at the base she had been at before. Her back didn't ache from a metal chair or a malfunctioning bed. She found herself almost numb, rather than constantly anger and upset.
The boys were ruthless, almost more so than the soldiers at the HYDRA base. She was very impressed. But they weren't better than her. Joana had never been the best at helping other people learn, but she was trying to remember how Danika used to teach her, and that was enough to make her heart hurt.
"Move you foot there. Good. Swing with your whole arm, not your elbow. Don't let him intimidate you; big isn't always better. Use your core. There you go."
Somehow, Joana forgot that she was training these boys to kill people, but whenever they got something right, they would beam up at her. They were just children. After the training session, she asked someone where she could find Pierce. When she found him )which took longer than she expected), she asked to speak with him privately. He took her into his room.
"What is it?" He asked her, his temper already short.
"You can't be serious," she snapped at him. He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow as if daring her to continue. "These are children, Pierce, children. I was talking to one of the Black Widows and she said she came here to do ballet, not kill people. You can't do this."
"What are you going to do about it, Joana? What could you possibly do?" Pierce asked her, his voice rising. "You are nothing. You have nothing. You are my dog on a chain. The only power you have I have permitted you to have, and I could take it away. You are powerless."
She seethed, clenching her jaw.
"You will train the Wolf Spiders and the Black Widows. You will make me look good in front these people. If you don't do that, I won't just hurt your Bucky, I will start killing them too."
Joana could tell by his face that he wasn't bluffing, but would he really start killing the recruits? What would the Mistress say if her classes started getting smaller?
"Am I understood?" He asked her, his face just inches from her. She nodded. He turned away from her.
"I have had to threaten you more times than I have liked. If you push my hand again-"
"I understand." Without another word, she turned on her heel and left the room. Tears filled her eyes once again. It seemed as if there was nothing she could do that was right. If she stopped training the children, they would be killed. If she stopped killing people, they would hurt Bucky.
Pierce was right.
Joana was completely powerless.

***

HA HA! I did two in one day. Are y'all proud of me? Anyway, this was sort of just a start on their Red Room experience. Confession time: I haven't actually read the comics, so I have to look a lot of stuff up on the internet. What I don't find there, I just make up, so if I get anything wrong, that's probably why, so please don't hate me.
Again, it would be very kind of you to help me edit, if you wouldn't mind. Anything and everything is of use. I love all of you with so much love I can't even describe to you how much love I love you with. So much love.
Your reads, votes, and comments are always appreciated a ton. Love you all!
With the utmost respect,
authorsbane