flawed with benefits

Violet was a thinker. She could think all day about one issue and never reach the destination.

It eluded her like the sun's kiss in the winter months. A rarity, a delight, a surprise to all below as they open their arms and smile into its warmth with all they have.

Intoxication never helped the thinking.

That's not why she drank.

Sometimes she drank more than she'd intended to because the thought was consuming her attention.

But the drinking eventually dulled the thoughts. Consumed them. Swallowed them whole. Took them into its depths and forgot to teach them how to swim, leaving them to drown in the background and scream into the silence.

And now, with her beer in one hand, Violet thought about Cal and Elora. How they looked together, how she looked at him and how he looked at her.

As bitter as she was to admit it, they looked good together. Cal did always say gingers were his type and Violet loved to mock him for that, but now she did not because she was alone and he was not.

Elora looked up at him constantly with love in her eyes, but he didn't even look at her once. Either he was looking at the screen, or at Violet, never at her.

All Violet wanted to do, even more so as she consumed more and more alcohol, was march over there and tell him to open his eyes to the love beside him, but she couldn't because the way he gazed at her made her chest contract and movement completely and utterly impossible.

She soaked it all up, basking in the exchanges even if it pained her to do so. There was nothing more satisfying than the feeling of love on the skin, a blessing not a blemish.

To be loved is a thing to be cherished, not discarded with vile intent.

Hold it and hold it until it is no longer yours to hold.

And Violet knew that. She knew what it meant to be loved. As a little girl her mother always told her that love was precious, more precious than anything, and Violet believed her. She carried that belief close to her heart until her mum died. After that, Violet didn't believe in love. After that, it was too rare to not be a myth, a story, a legend because Violet didn't remember what it was like to feel loved.

So maybe that's why she felt some unease when it came to him. Cal.

Because there was something about the way he held her in his arms that reignited a forgotten memory, even if she didn't realise it herself.

Violet snapped out of her trance of thought when Sarah came back with another drink for her. She took it with a smile and a thank you, then forced herself to engage in conversation so that Cal was not in the forefront.

They laughed the night away like it was nothing, drunk like they'd never drunk before and slurred their words like they were on ice, but then it was time for the night to end.

Violet watched silently, biting her tongue all the while, as Cal said goodbye to Elora at the door. She leant up to kiss him, but he turned his head slightly so that all she achieved was a kiss on the cheek and embarrassment.

And, as horrid as it was for Violet to think such a thing, she wanted to laugh out loud until her belly hurt.

Elora left, sober.

Violet sat on the sofa, still drinking and still smiling like she wasn't thinking about twenty different things at once.

It was only when Cal sat down beside her that her mind all shifted onto one thing. She looked down at the bottle in her hand and picked at the label.

"Do you like her as much as she likes you?" Violet asked with a prominent slur. "Because she looks at you like you've given her the world and you-"

"And I what?" Cal turned to her, clearly drunker than her thought he was.

"And you look at me." She smiled. Not a smirk, a smile.

"What?"

Her smile faded as she looked at him. "I don't think there was a moment tonight where I didn't turn to look at you and you weren't already looking at me." She clutched the empty bottle tighter. "So don't tell me you're serious about Elora when you didn't even look at her all night."

The twinge of anger in her voice was clear and as sharp as ice, her eyes were like shards. Cal sat forward and reached across for her hand, but she pulled away before he could even come close.

"Elora's a nice girl," He said.

Violet shot up from her seat, slamming the bottle down on the table and turning on him in a whirlwind. "Of course Elora's a nice girl," She shouted. "I know she's a nice girl, that's all you ever fucking say about her, Cal, and it's ridiculous."

The room was empty apart from them, but her voice was loud enough to fill it and her eyes lit with fire as she waited for him to come up with an answer.

"You just need to make your mind up. Do you want to be with her, or do you want to carry on sleeping with me? Because I'm not letting you do both."

"Ok." Was all he replied and Violet let out a heavy sigh.

"You're pathetic sometimes," She told him before storming to the door, appearing to be less drunk than everyone thought she was, and slams the door behind her.

Gone.

-

thank you all for 1k followers and 1k on this story.
the only bad news is that updates are going to slow right down because I just started sixth form and i'm going to have a lot of work, so i'm sorry in advance