"Ramadan shopping list completed!" Amirah announced before dropping the pen on the table dramatically.

"I've been thinking." Muhammad said coming out from the kitchen with a bowl of cereal, "we should get a house help."

Amirah looked at him surprised, "why?"

"Which one is why?"

"Why should we get a house help?"

"Well to help you with the chores after all, we're having a baby."

"Oh Allah, not again. I'm not sure yet so drop it until it's confirmed."

"I can feel it, my instinct about this one is strong." Muhammad insisted with a broad smile on his face. It's been two months since Amirah had started seeing symptoms of pregnancy but she was scared of confirming so she'd told Muhammad about it yesterday and that's all he's been talking about.

"I'm tired of you already."

"You'll come to the hospital for a test after your session with Tara, don't forget."

"How can I forget when you've told me a thousand times?" Amirah asked with a roll of eyes.

"What'll we name the child if It's a girl?"

Amirah ignored him as she picked up her shopping list and went into her bedroom. She stood in front of the mirror and watched her bare tummy rubbing her hand on it lovingly.

She didn't want to raise her expectations too much about having Muhammad's child, having a child was hard and she knew that from experience.
Amirah was just nineteen when she'd had Anisa and that she did secretly. It had been a mistake, a one time thing with a man she'd met at a field trip that was organized by her University, that was the first and last time they'd met.

She was crazy then and she'd swore to never have anything like that with any man but she'd gone and done the same thing with AbdulRahman and now he won't let her be.
AbdulRahman had been calling her everyday for the past two months, apparently he'd been sent on a work to Germany so he wasn't around but he didn't let her miss him with his calls and texts from different numbers.

"Habibty your phone is ringing." She heard Muhammad's voice from outside her room, she poked her head outside and he handed her her phone.

"Assalamualaikum Baba." She greeted after the shock of seeing her father's call wore down.

"Walaykumsalam. How're you?" He asked in a deep, almost unclear voice.

"Alhamdulilah."

"MashAllah, MashAllah." He repeated.

There was few seconds silence before Amirah asked, "how's everyone at home?"

"They're fine. How's Muhammad?"

"Uhmm he's doing well alhamdulilah." Her father rarely called and when he did, it wasn't for idle talks.

"Have you spoken to mama Lawal recently?"

Amirah racked her brain to think of when last she spoke to aunty Amirah.

"We spoke last week, I think. Is everything fine?"

"She moved out yesterday."

Amirah gasped. "Why? What happened?"

"What else happened if not your mother? " His voice shook, "I'm not one to do this but caution your mother Amirah because this is the last time I'll take this from her."

"Uhh have you spoken to Ya Hamidah?"

"She's not picking my calls."

Typical! "Okay Baba, I'll call and know what happened but for the mean time please try to get Aunty Amarya back home."

"Toh, my regards to your husband." With that he ended the call. Amirah tossed her phone on the bed and proceeded to change into a maroon colored abaya.

She was applying her makeup when she heard a knock on her door, it was Muhammad.

"Did I ever tell you maroon is your color?"

"I know it is." She answered smugly before winking at her reflection on the mirror.

"You're just going with Lara to an event fah, why are you dressing up like you're going to look for husband?"

"See this one o, I can't dress up for myself?"

"You can but you don't." Muhammad said laughing, "it's either you're in that butterfly pyjamas or that ankle length blue gown from morning till night."

"That's a lie!" Amirah protested eyeing him.

"Okay yeah that was a lie, I forgot to add your all time favorite, the ultimate big grey shirt and wrapper."

"God will ask you." Amirah said as she flung her foundation tube at him, he laughed as he dodged it easily.

"You should come in and say hi." Amirah said reapplying her lip gloss, Muhammad's car was packed in front of Lara's house.

"Knowing her, I'd go to work late."

Amirah shrugged and got down from the car.

"Don't forget to come to the hospital for the test." Muhammad called out as she walked away.

"You should've set a reminder on my phone since I now have partial amnesia." Amirah retorted.

"It's not partial." Muhammad said laughing.

"Amirah my baby, come here." Lara said opening her arms for a hug, Amirah hugged her.

"How have you been?"

"Fine and you?" Amirah asked politely.

"Stressed out, you can't even imagine. Anyways let's help load the stuff into the car so we can head out."

"Okay." Amirah said trailing behind Lara, they were heading to a mental health awareness programme for women that Lara and two other ladies were hosting.

Jhalobia garden was a sight to behold, Amirah couldn't stop staring as they got down from the car. it had ever-green lawns, walk ways, topiary of different shapes, sculpture, water falls, fountains, ponds, rock gardens, gazebos of different sizes.

"This place is a beauty Lara."

"And it costs a mountain Amirah." Lara said laughing.

Some ladies were lounging around and two older women walked towards them excitedly.

"Lara." The lighter skinned one said excitedly before hugging Lara.

"You look good." The other woman said before hugging her two. She was on hijab.

"Well I found this new massage parlor that offers amazing skin care products, my skin is literally glowing right?" Lara said with a pose.

"Of course it is, you need to send me their address."

"Is this Amirah?" The one on hijab asked looking at her.

"Oh yes she is." Lara said smiling at her.

"I'm Tiwatope but everyone else calls me Aunty Tiwa." The light skinned woman introduced with a broad smile on.

"And I'm Hauwa but you can call me that or Esosa, I prefer Esoso, embracing the traditional me."

"Oh okay, nice to meet you both." Amirah said with a little bit of stutter, meeting and befriending people has never been easy.

"Feel free with us, we're not harmless although Lara could damage your ear with how much she talks but I'm sure you're used to that by now." Aunty Tiwa said.

"Haha, very funny coming from you in particular Tiwa."

"Okay, okay let's get this one started." Esosa said.

Few minutes later, the event was in full swing and Amirah was enjoying it, the guest speaker was Iduh Vivian, a mental health and life coach and a writer.

"... For three years of my life, I battled with depression and not a single one of my friends or family knew, I was harsh on people, I shut them out and I pissed off a whole lot of people.
It was the hardest point of my life and whenever I look back to it, I am happy I overcame it. First thing I want us to understand that nothing is your fault, don't beat yourself up about anything or play blame game with yourself.

Things became difficult for me and the more I pushed people away, the more lonely and depressed I felt, friends were complaining, bad mouthing me and that killed me slowly because I wished they'd understand me but how'll they when I kept everything bottled in?"

"Speak to someone you trust. Yes, none of your friends or family member is your therapist but imagine how much it'd help if you were able to talk to someone you're close to about something that's weighing you down. I know some of us might be scared of the fact that we'll think that we're burdening others with our problem and how we don't want to disturb them but I promise you that no one who truly loves you will feel so about you.

If you have someone who cares about you, who cares about your well-being and who wants to see you happy then you're in total luck because I also understand that some people don't have that too. Now if you don't and you're wondering, what's this lady saying about talking to someone who I'm close to, someone who I trust? I have no one, no one cares enough about me but that's okay and this is why I suggest getting yourself a therapist, a good therapist."

"Well nowadays finding a good therapists is hard and when you finally find one, it might cost you more than you budgeted which is why I'd be sharing free copies of my book on mental awareness and you can reach out to me at the end of this event if you're in need a good therapist that doesn't cost much, I know few.

Before I end my talk, I just want you to know that you're all beautiful and amazing women and whatever you're going through, it's okay to be weak, it's okay to feel terrible on some days, and what is that normal you strive to be? Who dictated what normal should be like? And on days when you feel you're not enough, I want you to ward off that energy because you are the best version of yourself, nobody else can be you!"

Amirah stood up and clapped her hands alongside the other women, she'd felt as if Vivian was talking to her specifically and that released some tightened knots in her stomach, it made her want to appreciate Muhammad more because truly, some people had no one to be bothered with them. Heck! She used to have no one to be bothered with her, Khadijah was sometimes a little too busy to notice something's, Hajiya just wanted her to keep shut, Hamidah decidedly distanced herself from everyone to the point that she'll be the last person you'll think of going to with your problems and apart from her family, Amirah had no one else, friends were just people that you speak to like strangers.

As she sat in the backseat of Lara's car which was filled with chatters from Aunty Tiwa and Esosa, Amirah thought maybe it was time to finally open up to Tara. She'd have loved to tell Muhammad but she didn't want him to see her like the filth she saw herself as, not especially now that they might be expecting a baby, she wouldn't bring another child into this world without having a proper home to grow them in because she was sure she and Muhammad would be over the second she spilled everything to him, the very same second.

A/N:

OhmyGod! That was a long chapter.

So himat011 called me on Monday, the minute I arrived Abuja from Zaria to tell me to update on Tuesday, I told her I will but it's Sunday and I'm just updating 😭 I'm so sorry for the late update guys.

Vivian Iduh is real and she's my bestfriend, I'm sure some of you know her, the author of bound and soiled TheOmoope

I wrote this one while on my butterfly pyjamas trousers so I feel personally attacked by Muhammad 😂😂

Please vote and share, I have a mini surprise coming up soon.

Comment guys, I always look forward to your beautiful comments.