*not edited*

Nataliya- Now

"Here, this way."  Jenna motioned, pointing me towards the end of the street. I followed her, keeping my eyes on her light pink dress as I tightened the belt on my loose, red belted sleeveless one.

Emily, Paula and Michelle followed her, Paula almost bounding forward on her way to the club. Just as we crossed the end of the street, entering some sort of doorway at the back and then.... the club came into view. 

And I froze.

"Wow, wow, this is seriously cool." I turned towards Jenna, calling out towards her over the ridiculously loud, blaring music, "Does Alex own it?"

She nods, "He co-owns it with my fiancée, they've both worked on it a lot to be able to open up a fighting ring just below it."

A familier pang goes through my chest hearing that. I wish I was there with him. I wish I was there for him.

Paula nods, "It's really noisy up here in the front but as you walk deeper into it and into the fighting ring the noise is seriously pumped with energy."

I cock my head, "So it's louder?"

Michelle nods, "It's louder in a sense there's just more energy but the noise is slightly less, but all the chanting makes up for it."

Emily motions us forward, making our way through the packed crowd before entering another doorway and descending a spiralling staircase. 

The underground arena is huge. Bars line up along the sides of what looks like to be an enlarged ballroom, music fills up the room, people dancing or just watching. All the shouts and chants just pointing at the huge rink in the middle where I can already see Alex squaring off with another man. Immediately I feel lighter, I guess... he just does that to me. 

"It's amazing isn't it?" Jenna says smiling, as we push our way through the- luckily a bit less- crowded floor and music blaring from all sides. 

I nod.

"Alex is facing off with Jus, my fiancée they're good friends, but they love to fight."

I smile, "Of course."

Paula smiles, "I'm gonna go get a drink, I'll be back for the fight." At that she weaves through the crowd to the bar. 

I stare up at Alex as we get close. He's bare chested, showing off his hard abs and muscle, sweat running down his chest as he's only in loose board shorts. His hair a flying mess but so goddamn beautiful at the same time. Those brown globes twinkle in the light as he grins at Jus. 

He's fucking beautiful.

He passes quickly through the crowd, barely bumping into anyone. Muscular but so graceful. And saunters forward.

"Hey Paula, Jenna, Michelle Emily... Nat. What a surprise." Alex grins, looking down at us. 

I stiffen, "I didn't come here for you, you know, I'm here to make some friends, with them." I really hadn't come here for him... Maybe a bit.

Alex raises both hands up in surrender, "I didn't say that."

"You implied it."

"Can't blame me, most women do."

"Well I'm not most women."

"I can see that."

"Hello, Love."

A tall man, about as tall as Alex maybe an inch or two shorter but an inch broader, wraps an arm around Jenna's shoulders. She grins.

"Jus, great to see you." She gives him a quick peck on the cheek, "But shouldn't you be getting ready."

He mutters quietly in her ear and she laughs.

Jus smiled at her, his eyes holding so much love. It was beautiful. 

He smiles and walks away, but not before kissing her lips. He seemed slightly reserved but sweet.

Alex rolls his eyes, "The guy's whipped. Well I'm out, got a fight coming up." 

My eyes trail on his retreating form, a small shard of hurt wedging itself in my heart. He didn't say goodbye. Of course he didn't say goodbye, he doesn't remember me.

I hear the cheering of the crowd as the announcer calls for the fight to start and as the two men run up on the rink.

"Here," Jenna grabs my arm and pulls us closer to the rink, as Paula follows close behind, back from her drink. We inch closer to where Alex delivers a hard punch to Jus's gut. 

I stare up at Alex as we get close. He's bare chested, showing off his hard abs and muscle, sweat running down his chest as he's only in loose board shorts. His hair a flying mess but so goddamn beautiful at the same time. Those brown globes twinkle in the light as he grins at Jus.

He's fucking beautiful.

I suck in a breath.

His head flicks up, grinning as his eyes scan over the crowd. Looking for someone.

I hold out a hope that he's looking for me. As his eyes get closer to me, it could be true, he's searching for me. I light up grinning. But that falls as his eyes pass right over me. Barely registering that I'm there. 

Instead, they land on Paula.

He smiles a soft beautiful loving smile as he eyes soften ever so slightly. Most people wouldn't even notice. They would think he was cocky. But I knew him. I knew that smile. 

All the air whooshes out of my lungs. Something inside me breaks.

He loves her.

God... He loves her.

It's clear, it's so clear.

And all that hope I'd been holding up for the week disappears. 

Everything.

Not only is she his new best friend. But he loves her. Just like he loved me. 

I can't hear the rest of the fight, as it seems that the rushing of the ocean has invaded my ears.

How could I ever think that he would actually feel something again. What am I doing here? What am I trying to prove?

"I- I need some air."

Jenna glances at me, "I can go-"

"No, it's fine."

Then I rush out before the water works threaten to explode. 

---------------------------------------

Okay, guys. No, i'm not dead i'm still alive. Right here.

But there is absolutely no way to say this... I am so, so, so sorry. I haven't updated since, what, New Years... Christmas? 

All I can say is that i'm so sorry and there is no way to repay you guys for sticking around. You all probably deserve an avalanche of chapters but I didn't give it to you. Just a pretty long chapter.

So all I can say is that I'm so sorry. Really guys.

So here is a sneak peak into the next chapter, the begining of the next chapter.

Here it is:

∞

I stumble out into the cool night street, my hand rubbing frantically on my eyes. 

He's fallen in love with her.

God dammit. He loves her.

Of course, Paula is so sweet and caring, of course he loves her. Of course he fell for her. His best friend, known each other for what... Six years. A love story.

I'm just an obstacle in their path. An obstacle ready to be crossed and forgotten. How could I ever think I was something more. The farthest I'll ever get with him is a friend with benefits. A 'fuck buddy'.

That's all.

I was too caught up in my pity party that I didn't hear the increasing growth of the fast paced steps behind me. 

"Hey, Nat."

I tense up. Alex. Again. I can't do this right now. I just can't.

Slowly, I turn around. Not saying anything.

He's dressed exactly the same as he was back in the rink. Bare chested sweat running down his chest. Down right masculine. In the middle of the street that's barely crowded except for a group  of girls in the corner gawking at him.

His brows crease in concern. "You okay? You just rushed out, is something wrong, are you not feeling alright."

I nod, quickly. "It's nothing, I'm fine."