"I'm going on a picnic and I'm taking apples, beer, cauliflower, donuts, eggs, fedoras, goat cheese, honey, icecubes, jolly ranchers, kale, lepracy, mustard, nunchucks, oranges, pumpernickel, quarters, radishes, squid, thin mints, umbilical chords, video games, wooly socks, xylophones, yams...and...uh...z..zabaglione?"

Mustard blinked at me, his eyes squinting as he tried to decipher what the hell just came out of my mouth.
"Z..Zabalagalion?" He attempted to repeat, nose scrunching. "The fuck is a-"
"He almost smited me! You saw it! I saw it! I'm calling my lawyer!" We both jumped as Twice's voice boomed out, and we spun to see the motley crew trudging towards the camp, dirty and beaten as usual. This time, however, a familiar face had rejoined.

"Dabi!" Knocking the young teenager flying, I scrambled to my feet, dashing over and flinging myself into those warm, marred arms. Dabi held me back, but it was strangely loose, and he seemed to be a little spaced out.
"You're better." He pointed out, his lazy grin not quite reaching his eyes as he ruffled my hair. Nodding, I chose to step back, but I decided to grab hold of his hand instead.

He flinched...

Toga plodded over to where we kept our dwindling supply of food, rummaging through it to pull out a small bag of potato chips.
"Ugh, breakfast, lunch and dinner is ready..." She announced sarcastically, popping the bag between her hands and taking her share. It was passed around throughout the group, the only people not partaking being Shigaraki and Dabi. The former moved away to his usual spot, but Dabi just stood there, staring at the ground with a tightened jaw.

"So, Dabs, how'd the test go? Think that potential recruit is really on our side?" Spinner queried, his mouth full as he turned to look in our direction.
"I already reported back to the doctor and Flake Shelton over there, so fuck off." My boyfriend's aggressive response threw us into an awkward silence. Sure, he was usually pretty short when he spoke to people, but this was something different.

Slowly, I released his hand, shifting so I could try to get a better look at his face.
"Hey, did something happen..?" I wanted him to be open and talk to me, to all of us, but I knew he wouldn't. That wasn't the type of person he was.
"No." Dabi muttered unsurprisingly, grabbing back my hand and beginning to tug me along, away from the group.
"Wear protection! There'll be no frick fracking in this household!" Twice shouted after us, but I was too focused on my ravonet to pay attention to him.

Something definitely went down...

Dabi didn't stop walking for an incredibly long time, but I didn't say a word about it. I just let him pull me along like a little tugboat until he stopped dead, shoulders rigid.
"Touya...are you o-"
"I want you to be completely honest with me, (Y/N)..." He cut me off, his words weighted down by something that shut me right up. "What would you do if I killed someone you care about?"

A good deal of panic began to rush through my system, but not as much as what would have only weeks before. Taking a deep breath, I focused on the back of his head.
"Y..you already know the answer to that...You killed Ta..Tamaki...and Ei..jiro...I asked you to kill them..." The words coming out of my mouth tasted like poison. I had tried not to think about them, and what I had asked Dabi to do, but it was inevitable.

"Do you seriously think I killed them..?" Dabi scoffed dryly, making me freeze up. "You were out of your goddamn mind. I fucked them up, but they lived." Without my consent, tears began to well in my eyes, though whether they were from relief or guilt I had no clue.
"But..but why? Tou, I thought you ha-"

"I asked you a question. The real you. What would you do if I killed someone you care about?" Dabi was growing more agitated, and I found myself loosening my returned grip on his hand whilst his became stronger. A small part of my didn't care, but the rest of my conscience was in a panic. Had he killed someone dear to me? Could I forgive him for that?

Swallowing nothing, I tried to keep myself as composed as possible.
"I...would be sad...I'd hate it..." I answered softly, lowering my gaze to stare at where our hands were joined. "...but...that wouldn't mean I'd hate you..." A loud groan ripped through Dabi's throat as he dropped down into a squat, releasing me and taking hold of his head.

"Hah...You're such a fucking idiot..." He laughed, though it was such a distressing sound. "How could you..? Saying something so stupid..? Every person I've killed has had a family. A wife, a child...That kid you were trying to save when I found you again..?"

I know that...I know...

"Ever heard of the pro hero, Snatch..?" Dabi still wouldn't face me, but I kept my distance, allowing him to speak as he needed.
"Yeah...I met him once..." I murmured, already knowing where this was going.
"Killed him! Compress balled him up with my flames..! The bastard didn't even stand a chance!" Another warped laugh made my skin crawl, but I knew it wasn't his fault. Whatever had happened on his mission had really messed with him. "He asked me if I ever stop to think about the families of my victims! Y'know what?! I do! Every fucking second!"

Unable to stay away any longer, I moved to the front of him, kneeling down in the damp soil and fallen foliage. His eyes were wide and shaking about like the wild sea, and his teeth were grinding together so hard I thought they might crack.
"Touya...please, try to breathe, okay? I'm here, and you can let it all out, alright?"

Even though I care...Even though seeing him like this hurts me...I still can't stop thinking that this is...kind of pathetic...What's wrong with me..?

Shaking his head, Dabi clenched his entire body much more, curling in closer to the ground.
"N..nah...you'd get hurt." He insisted, a heavier breeze brushing through his raven hair. "Just...could you stay by me tonight..?" I didn't hesitate to respond with a nod, my chest aching as I saw a trickle of blood creep out from the space between two of the staples holding the skin beneath his left eye.

"You're hurt..." I murmured, taking his face in my hands and brushing it away with my thumb, only causing it to smear across his cheek.
"I'm fine...it just happens." He replied in a much quieter voice, taking hold of my wrists and pulling me closer. Once I was right up against him, he curled his arms around my middle, smothering his face into the flatter section of my chest. "Can we go and sleep in a sec? My head hurts..."

This can't be the only thing that has him so distraught. It isn't like him. Something else happened, so why isn't he telling me?

"Yeah, whenever you're ready..." I sighed, cradling his head gently. My knees felt cold and damp from the earth, and I started at the blood on my thumb, bedaubing it around with my forefinger absently. When he had calmed down enough, Dabi stood up, bringing me with him, and held my hand tightly as we walked back towards the camp. Everyone but Shigaraki was out like a light, completely exhausted, and the pale man turned slightly when he heard us arrive, our eyes meeting in a lock of (E/C) and bleeding ruby.

Without having used my quirk for almost a full week, I didn't feel the inclination to tend to him as strongly as I had before, but I could still feel the pull of his expression. Never would I openly admit it to him, but I could sense such a deep sadness radiating from his being. Something so strong and wretched that it made my heart bleed for him, even when we were far apart. I wasn't sure if anybody else could feel it or not.

Not tonight...

My neck burned with phantom pain as I tore my gaze away, instead turning to look up at Dabi, who looked completely bested by his emotional fragility. He didn't glance my way, but he squeezed my hand a little tighter, as if thanking me for being there, or at least showing his appreciation that I had chosen him over my master.

Once we were curled up together, not far over from where Spinner had coccooned himself up in his scarf, he gave me his eyes, searching my face for something I couldn't pinpoint.
"I'm relieved that you're better." He murmured in a low voice, scooting closer and hooking his leg around mine.
"Yeah, so am I. I'm healthy enough to get back to the fight now." I agreed, choosing to ignore the way his expression dropped.

"Don't rush it. Take a few more days." I wasn't sure if my sigh could be heard over the tattered material of our shelter flapping in the gusting wind, but it wasn't important.
"I'm not getting left behind while you guys get stronger. This is my burden too, y'know." A little trust would have been nice. His concern wasn't completely justified in my mind, but I couldn't bring myself to get too upset.

"Just...don't throw yourself in too hard..." Dabi sighed, wriggling down and burrowing his nose into my built in pillows. "G'night, Tenderfoot..." With my arms curled around him, my fingers made their way past the scooped neck of his shirt, tracing the bumps of his staples as I tried to fall asleep. Surely this fight wouldn't go on for much longer, and when we finally won, Shigaraki would lead us into the brighter future we were assured.

Yeah...He'll get us there...and Gigantomachia is the only thing standing in our way...

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***Chronic illnesses can suck a bag of farts.

Next time: Who nose?***