*I think you will know when to play this song

Also, thank you for the 500 reads. Hope you full the stars too❤❤❤❤it...motivates me to write more.💙💙💜💜

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"To tell you the truth, I am a little sick-"

"You don't have to tell them if you don't want to, Coaca." Xavier said intrupting me.

"No, I think they have to now." I told him and stared.

He sighed and nodded keeping quiet.

"About what?" Koaka asked.

"I am sick, brother." I said.

All eyes were on me.

"Wait...what?"

"How?"

"When?"

"Why didn't you tell us? What's happening?"

"Well...um....it's a small thing." I shrugged and said.

I saw Xavier shaking his head.

I am sorry....

"Small....thing......what?" Koaka asked.

I opened my mouth to say but I closed it. I tried again but I couldn't. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Mommy!" A girl cried.

"Yes darling!?" The woman asked.

"I am scared....." She said in a small voice.

"Don't worry love...I am here." She tried to calm her child soothingly.

"Yet...I don't feel you...."

"What?" The woman asked her child.

"I don't feel....right." The girl said.

"What is wrong baby?" She asked.

"Nothing." The girl said hurriedly and ran towards her room. It was her mistake.

"COACA!"

"Huh?"

"Where were you lost?"

"Nothing." I shaked my head.

"What is wrong sister...." Koaka asked me.

I looked at him but couldn't say anything.

"I...i want to be alone. Please meet me after eight and don't forget pizza." I asked them to leave.

They all nodded and started to leave.

Aaron was the last to leave. He closed the door. They all are giving me a chance.

I sighed and slumped back in my bed. I looked outside to see that it was raining and started to feel cold. I shivered a little and went inside the blanket. I opened my cell phone and opened YouTube to see a new song from Shawn Mendes.

In my blood.

Mm let's give it a try.

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood

I have started to like this...

Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something
I could take to ease my mind slowly
Just have a drink and you'll feel better
Just take her home and you'll feel better
Keep telling me that it gets better
Does it ever?

I searched the comments section to fund the lyrics.

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough
Someone help me
I'm crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood

I started to sing.

It isn't in my blood

Looking through my phone again feeling anxious
Afraid to be alone again, I hate this
I'm trying to find a way to chill, can't breathe, oh
Is there somebody who could...

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough
Someone help me
I'm crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood

It isn't in my blood

I need somebody now
I need somebody now
Someone to help me out
I need somebody now

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood

It isn't in my blood
It isn't in my blood
I need somebody now
It isn't in my blood
I need somebody now
It isn't in my blood

I sighed. I love this song. The lyrics are so.... right through my nerve...

That's right. It isn't in my blood. I won't give up. I have my friends, my family and most importantly....memories.

If this was a book or a movie...I probably would have done something stupid.  I don't know what the possibilities are but killing myself or cuting myself would have surely been it. I won't do it. I can't always lie to them.

I am strong. I have my friends, my family. They love me and I love them.

Just a flicker of hope

That's all I need.

And now, I have it.

**************************

I know I know.
You hate me. I didn't update.... But eh. There are not many people who read this so lol

Anyways to those who are still reading it, thank you for investing some time in my randomly made something book.

*Do you have questions?

*I understand that this chapter might be a little confusing but....it will clear up.

A heads up:

Flashback
Cringes
Mature scenes
Hate
Love
Innocence
Confusion.

All will be present.

BY THE WAY
DID YOU NOTICE THE SONG REFERENCE!
COMMENT IF YOU DID!!!!

LOVE YOU ALL:

MissNutMe