Being a pilot was the worst decision of my life

Right after I got promoted to one of the highest ranks, my mother died. Of course, my brothers blamed me for the death, and so that's when I started drinking. A lot. That's also when I was demoted again because I couldn't handle the grief, or more accurately, the guilt. Again, I continued my life as a pilot as soon was about to crash just as my father had, I accepted my fate, I knew it was going to happen. I was the failure of the family, the one who never listened, the one destined to die and rot in hell. I guess that's what the ring considered 'fearless' when it came to me, but really, it was just stupid. I felt glad when the ring came, I accepted it without a second thought just because I saw a dying 'man'. I didn't think about myself, and that was my biggest mistake. As soon as it slipped on my finger, I felt something surge through me, and I had the feeling of never wanting to let it go. Anything I willed would be there, I felt like a god. I was proven wrong when the night terrors continued and Sinestro betrayed the Green Lantern Corps.

My mother was always there for me.

But I only saw that when she left.

I turned a blind to what actually mattered

To continue in my father's steps.

Even if the result was doom,

I believed I was destined.

Now my biggest regret,

Is living at all.

Maybe if I had been the one who crashed,

Maybe if I hadn't taken the ring,

I wouldn't be here,

Living with all this guilt.

My father always told me "Follow your dreams"

What he didn't tell me,

Is that nightmares are dreams too.