CHAPTER TWO
something's haunting you

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

THE NEXT MORNING, the Captain gathers all the ghosts in the archaic living room to formulate their haunting plan. Quite honestly, whilst Effie can understand the need to avoid dozens of bodies everywhere suffocating them, she sees no problem with allowing a bit more life into this place. It's something else to keep her occupied for however long eternity is.

     "Now then," says the Captain, swagger stick held firmly in his hands. "Let's have a look at some of the skills at our disposal, shall we? Now, we all know Robin can do that thing with the lights. Will you please, Robin?"

     The caveman rolls his shoulders to warm himself up, rubbing his hands together before he squats in front of a nearby lampshade. Peculiarly, some of the ghosts were blessed with unusual powers when they died — Robin being one of them. He strains and grunts in deep concentration as he hovers his hands on either side of the lamp shade. The light bulb flickers between his hands until he pulls them away, miraculously returning it to its normal light. Amongst the ghosts are appreciative murmurs of praise.

Mary shyly raises one of her singed hands in the air and the Captain points towards her. "Yes, Mary?" he asks.

"When I passes through the livings, they smells burnings," Mary warbles in her thick West Country accent, a sincere look on her face.

"Excellent. None of those are plural, but..."

"Tis a most noxious stink!" she smiles proudly, small dimples visible in her soot-covered cheeks.

Like toast, Effie thinks with a grin. Most unsettling for anyone who were to pass through her.

Thomas, who is reclined comfortably with one leg crossed over the other on the sofa, sits up straight with a glint in his eye. "When I was alive —"

"Oh, here he goes..." the Captain sighs.

"— it was rumoured that a little plague girl could often be heard singing in the pantry..." he says, leaning forward with a small smile.

Effie has certainly never heard of this. Strangely enough, there are probably a few ghosts around the grounds of Button House that she has never met before, mainly because they isolate themselves (voluntarily or not) in one spot. She roams predominantly the main building itself. One example is the plethora of plague victims — an entire village's worth — who are crammed together downstairs in the basement. So therefore it is no surprise she has never met this plague girl.

A few minutes later, they have hunted down the so-called plague girl named Jemima, and with much regret — she is frankly terrifying. A small little girl, malnourished and swathed in buboes with a teddy bear caught in a headlock between her arms. She stares at them intensely whilst rasping out her song...

"Ring a ring o' roses, a pocket full of posies... a-tishoo, a-tishoo... we all fall down..."

By the end of it, Effie could swear a chill has suddenly entered they room as they all stare horrified at her.

The girl blinks at them. "People find it scary, apparently," she deadpans.

"I can't think why..." Pat laughs nervously, eyes a little bit too wide as he grits his teeth with fear.

"Speaking of sounds," says the Captain, turning around to face them all again, "I think it would be appropriate that we throw those yanks from the shed into the mix, too."

Groans and mutters of disagreement swell through the crowd, Effie amongst them as she rolls her eyes lightly. The "yanks in the shed" as the Captain calls them, refer to Linda and Lloyd — another example of ghosts who not only stay in their zone (in this case the garden shed) but also possessing their own unique abilities of being able to manipulate sound so they can be heard by the living...

"Now, I can understand your reluctance," the Captain says, "but think of what is at stake here. Linda and Lloyd do possess incredibly useful abilities that could come in handy when it comes to the haunting effort."

"Alright, fine, but do we have to invite them in?" Julian asks.

"No, I... don't think that will be necessary."

"Thank God!"

"Effie, you can go and inform them of the plan once I have dismissed this meeting," the Captain adds.

"What? Why me?" Effie whines, folding her arms across her chest. The trouble with Linda and Lloyd is they get so sick of each other — cooped up in such a small space, only with each other — they will both jump on any opportunity for other interaction. You get stuck there, and their conversations suck away the life (you get the point) from you like leeches... thankfully not long after their deaths, Effie had managed to convinced them with the help of the other ghosts that their spirits were bound to the garden shed; they fell hook, line and sinker for it.

The main building ghosts have been left alone ever since, asides from the odd visit to update them of changes around the place.

"Why can't Thomas go?" Effie huffs, gesturing wildly to the poet stood behind her. "He used to fall head-over-heels for Linda and linger by that shed every chance he got when they first showed up!"

"Ah, but my heart has become intertwined with another. Alison..." Thomas replies wistfully. "Linda was a long time ago, as were you, to which I must sincerely plead my forgiveness from you for. I promise, it has nothing to do with you, for you are still very exquisite..."

She scoffs. "Look, I really wouldn't worry about—"

"If I can trust you to go alone and not get distracted, then this is settled," the Captain interjects, straightening his tie. "Now, finally, we are all aware of Julian's extraordinary powers..."

"Oh, please," Julian dismisses the compliment with a wave of his hand, but he is eating it up. Everyone talks over each other in an excitable murmur — the truth is that his is, by quite a bit, the most impressive ability. It is at least the most useful to them.

To demonstrate, Julian squats in front of a chest of drawers, where a small chipped tea cup sits on the edge. He clamps one hand around his wrist to stabilise it, the other hand on which he points his index finger out. At first he thrusts it forwards but finds it passes transparently through the cup, as expected. He experiences this trial and error a couple more times before really pushing himself. All while making the most inhuman noises, Julian presses his fingertip against the side of the cup — this time with enough strain that he meets a solid surface. He pushes the cup slowly across the mahogany surface until it topples softly onto the dust-coved rug below with a gentle plonk.

     "Oooh!" The ghosts ring out in a round of impressed applause, awestruck at the very sight. Effie can't remember the last time she touched anything solid and didn't slip right through it like water — so seeing this always amazes her.

     "Now, I've only tried it on cups," says Julian, "but, you know..."

     "Excellent. With my leadership and your skills— haahh..." the Captain lets out a surprised sigh as the plague girl pops up at his side, clearly startling him. He swallows thickly and continues with his speech, regaining composure. "... I believe we have everything we need to scare them out of their wits."

{⋅. ✯ .⋅}

EFFIE stomps reluctantly through the back gardens of Button House, which — unlike the neatly trimmed front ones — are overgrown with ivy, branches and other shrubberies of the like. Behind this maze is the garden shed, which Lady Heather rarely touched in her later years of life. It is also where Linda and Lloyd have resided since 1966. Having no need to navigate a path around the brambles, Effie straight drifts through without feeling a single scratch of a bush or branch.

     She can already hear them from outside. Effie sighs dramatically, letting herself summon the will to enter before she takes one large stride and passes through the moulding door into the shed. What follows are surprised screams, before the duo calm down once again.

     "Oh... it's you..." Linda pants, clutching a hand to her heart.

     "Don't you folks ever learn how to knock?" Lloyd asks with an aggravated hand gesture.

     Effie looks her ghostly self up and down, in a self-explanatory way, before staring blankly at him.

     "Right, of course you can't..."

     She looks at them peculiarly, taking in one of the oddest additions to Button House she has ever seen. Linda wears a light green and pink floral-patterned mini dress, complete with watermelon pink tights and matching shoes. Lloyd, on the other hand, is dressed in an overly bright orange, yellow and pink collared shirt with a paisley tie; his guitar is also never straying too far from him. The pair of them have a perpetually frazzled look about them, their hair practically standing on its ends with static strength.

Sometimes she wants to ask them how it happened. How did an American musical duo end up here — and more importantly, die here — of all places? Of course, Effie was there, she remembers the day clearly. She remembers every death since hers crystal clear. But she fears that if she were to ask, she would be stuck here forever while they tell the story...

"So what's the scoop?" Linda asks, clearly knowing there is another update.

"Right, well, you know the new couple who moved in?" asks Effie.

"New couple?" Lloyd asks in shock. "You didn't tell us that?!"

"... Didn't I?" Oops. She must have been distracted on her last day of Linda/Lloyd duties.

"If they're here, what happened to Heather?"

Linda groans. "Didn't you listen? I told you those two youngsters who looked in here from the window yesterday must be newcomers."

"I thought they were her... niece and nephew, or something."

"And what about that body bag they carried out the other week?"

"What body bag?"

"Seriously, Lloyd? I pointed it out to you! Through the back window of the shed! It has to be Heather. Do you never pay attention to what I say?"

"I'm waiting for you to draw breath—"

"Enough, both of you!" Effie yells, letting her head falls into her hands. She's already had it with these two. "Just listen to me. This new couple, they want to turn this place into a hotel —" at this, Linda and Lloyd gasp in horror, "— so we are all going to come together and try to haunt them out. Which is why... we need your help. With your sound manipulating abilities, maybe you can help us scare them off."

"Ooh! Sounds fun!" says Linda, clapping her hands excitedly, whilst Lloyd is more sceptical.

"What's in it for us?" he asks, cocking an eyebrow suspiciously.

"The knowledge that you have served for the greater good, that's what," a new voice suddenly chimes next to Effie.

"Good God! When did you get here?" Effie stares at the Captain, who has suddenly dissolved into the shed with her and seems about as reluctant to be there as she is. "And I thought you said you were trusting me to come here alone?"

"Yes, yes, but I just wanted to... you know... check."

"Oh! There's something else I noticed, a couple of decades ago," Linda adds eagerly. "Heather came in here to do some gardening, and we noticed when she walked through us, she got this... static shock. Nothing lethal, of course, but real spooky I should think."

"Ah. Excellent. Well, we shall definitely put that to use if needed," the Captain nods firmly.

"Hey... wouldn't it be more useful if we were, you know, inside Button House?"

The Captain and Effie share an equally dread-filled look before turning back to them. "Oh no, that won't be necessary," he affirms. "Your assets are much more valuable here, in the shed—"

     "Far away from us!" Effie adds a little too desperately.

     "... Yes, Effie, because we can therefore spread our... troops. Deployed in different areas of the grounds."

     "Yeah, Lloyd, don't get so worked up," Linda says. "You know what would make this better? We could play a song!"

     Effie feels the colour drain from her face. "Oh, no no no no—"

     "C'mon, it'll be fun!"

     "A very kind offer, but we must refuse," the Captain replies hastily, already edging closer to the shed walls as he stares at the guitar Lloyd is bringing into his arms. "We must really be going to get on with our haunting—"

     "You ready, Lloyd? One, two, three, four—"

     On the first strum of his guitar, Effie and the Captain launch themselves through the walls of the shed and speed back through the numbed labyrinth of brambles again.

     "Bloody yanks..." he mutters.

{⋅. ✯ .⋅}

A shrill scream rings out from one of bathrooms in Button House, only muffled by the closed door and the trickling of the shower water. "The water's gone cold!" Effie hears Alison scream as she heads down the hallway, "It's so cold! Mike!"

     When Effie reaches the bathroom door, she finds that she isn't the only one waiting for Alison to emerge — Thomas stands with his head poking through, bent at a right angle with his hands on his knees. She stops, staring smugly at him from behind as Pat joins her too, also equally as bemused. They cast a knowing sidewards glance at each other before Pat straightens his glasses on his nose.

     "Thomas?"

     Instantly a flustered Thomas pull his head out from the door, caught red-handed. "I wasn't looking!" he squeaks. "And anyway, I couldn't see anything!"

     "Alright, mate... is she coming out?" Pat asks.

     "Yes, I-I think she is."

     "SHE'S COMING OUT!"

     "Stand to, everybody. Prepare for action." the Captain calls out from the end of the hallway, crouching readily. Effie drifts down the corridor and hovers next to Kitty and the Captain, expectantly observing the bathroom door. Robin stands under the light bulb in the corridor, hands hovering above him at the ready. Julian stands further down by a vase, squatting at the ready.

     "Good luck everyone!" Kitty grins from ear-to-ear, batting her eyelashes and swishing her dress. "And remember, as long as you do your best..."

     The other ghosts all stand stationary for a moment, blinking in the expectant silence that follows.

     "Finished?" the Captain asks.

     "Yes..."

     "Hot water's stopped!" Alison calls out to Mike, emerging from the bathroom, dressed in a coral pink robe and drying her wet hair with a towel.

     "Go for Robin!" cries the Captain.

     Right on cue, Robin starts flickering the light in the corridor, a dim strobe washing the walls. Alison stops halfway down the corridor, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Without hesitation, she crosses back and flicks the light switch a couple of times — Robin writhes and convulses in pain, before falling onto his back like chopped timber.

How did that not work?

"Right, cue Jemima!"

"Ring-a-ring o' roses," the plague girl, Jemima, sings, "a pocket full of—"

All of a sudden a loud, bass-boosted track booms from downstairs, completely drowning Jemima out. Effie has never heard anything like it in her life — and she must say, it doesn't sound in the least bit interesting. Where is the beat? The speed? The swing? "It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing..." she remembers Lady Heather playing that once, many years ago, and Effie was entranced. She just died a little too early to hear it on her own.

"Yes! Got the speakers hooked up!" Mike shouts from downstairs.

"Well, that's the main thing!" Alison calls back sarcastically.

"Mary, if you please!" the Captain instructs.

Mary answers her calling. She hastily hops in front of Alison's path, bracing herself as she walks straight through her. The poor thing hacks and wheezes, ashes being puffed out from the hems of her dress; Alison, however, appears unfazed. "I think your toast is burning..." she calls to Mike downstairs.

"Damn it! All on you now, Julian."

Not wasting a moment's time, Julian spins around to the dresser and presses his finger to the vase. Everyone cries out words of encouragement to him, whilst he strains so unbelievably hard that Effie swears she sees the veins start to bulge through his skin — which is saying something, seeing as he's dead — but as always, Alison brushes by casually before she can hear or witness a thing.

     It is only after she has left that the vase moves an anti-climactic inch.

     Julian gasps, staggering back with exhaustion as he recovers from the exertion. All of the other ghosts grumble and complain in disappointment. "Well, you know," Julian tries to defend himself, "it was much bigger than a cup! So..."

This is hopeless, Effie thinks to herself. This might have worked around the time when she had first died — people seemed to be more superstitious then. But they don't stand a chance against all of this... modernity.

"Haunting's hard, innit?" Pat sighs with a disappointed chuckle.

{⋅. ✯ .⋅}

THERE is a giant grandfather clock in the library of Button House, which Effie sometimes sits and watches. Not to enjoy it. Sometimes in her lower moments, to remind her of how long she has been here... with this lot. But in moments like this, at a changing of the tides, Effie finds herself in this exact spot where she came to be alone after she had first died — to have some peace — watching the hands go by. Tick, tock, tick, tock...

     She stands in the brilliant beam of sunlight pouring through the window, feeling the warmth disintegrate right through her. Effie would long to feel the sensation of sun on her skin, instead of it shooting right through her. She shuts her eyes. For a moment, she imagines herself walking along the beach, a glass of wine in her hand as the sand sunk between her toes. She sees young girls with bouncing bobs and swimsuits diving into the water, young families seeming happy together for the first time in her life...

Maybe that's what will come of Alison and Mike moving in here. She will somehow have to consult the ghosts later — surely if they just stopped them from building a hotel, they could make a compromise. Effie is getting desperate. If this house stays barren and empty for however long now, she doesn't know how she will cope.

     She needs to surround herself with life.

     With an indignant sigh, Effie drifts through the hollow halls of Button House, watching the walls and forgetting for a moment as she waits for her non-existent shadow to appear. For now, it is back to the haunting effort.

     She stops halfway up one of the flights of the stairs, racking her memory for where Mike and Alison have decided to set up their bedroom. She pictures the bedposts decorated with strings of lights and fitted with new quilt covers — interesting design choices, she might add. Effie would have maybe chosen something different herself... but who is she to judge? This is the modern age. Things have changed since 1927, and she is the most curious of them all.

     Effie steps through one of the walls and emerges into their bedroom, spotting Alison and preparing herself to do her haunting —

     But someone has beaten her to it.

     Alison is leaning over the windowsill, curiously inspecting something outside as a breeze rustles her shoulder-length brown hair. Unbeknownst to her, Julian looms only inches behind her, wrist clenched around his hand and ready to strain once again. Effie arrives right at the moment of contact — and then everything happens so quickly.

     Julian prods her on the shoulder. Alison flinches; she wobbles, far too much, leans too far. She topples over the edge of the window sill. Effie hears her terror-stricken scream rattle the air before she plummets to the ground.

     Then silence.

     Instinctively, Effie rushes to the windowsill alongside a flabbergasted Julian, and leans over the side to get a look at Alison. She is sprawled on the ground, clearly unconscious and frightfully pale as blood oozes from a cut on her head. Mike rushes out of the front doors and crouches beside her, desperately trying to wake her up and grab her attention. But over his shoulder, Effie could swear she sees Alison open her eyes for a moment — just barely, but enough to peer at them sleazily from below, before she blacks out once more.

Great. Now they've only gone and bloody killed her.

     Effie steps back from the window and, jaw dropped, glares at Julian, who chuckles nervously and raises his hands in surrender.

     "Right... heh-hey... I can explain..."

     "JULIAN—"

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

AUTHOR'S NOTE !

( date: 12th august, 2021 )
( edited: 15th august, 2021 )

another update, hooray! i'm halfway through season 3 and it is SO GOOD (please don't comment any spoilers though, for the sake of me and others). already i'm imagining so many scenarios with effie and the gang 🥰 so, alison's in trouble... and things are about to get REALLY interesting. and also we met linda and lloyd! my favourite 1960s musical duo! their story will be really fun to delve into for a future chapter.

edit: you may notice a plot detail from before, if you read this chapter when it first came out, which is that effie no longer has powers. it was something i'd thrown in last minute without much thought and i'm actually not so keen on the idea anymore. i prefer effie as an ordinary ghost, and finding her development through that. but don't worry, disco ball effie may return in one way or another!

also! effie now has her own playlist on spotify and it's simply titled this is: effie connolly. i'll probably put the code in the playlist chapter at some point, but for now my spotify is @brightlybyers !! it's a mix of 1920s songs, modern songs and some awesome electro swing.

▕▔▔▔▔▔▔▿▔▔▔▔▔▔▏
horrible histories
icon of today:
▕▁▁▁▁▁▁▵▁▁▁▁▁▁▏

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

( chaotic historical paramedics...
RUN AWAY RUN AWAYYY )

have a good day/evening,
— IMOGEN  ♡