Chapter 9

“You... have a fiancee. You’re engaged.” My voice faded, still surprised by what I’d heard. I also felt like someone is squeezing my heart inside. Kanina lang, tuwang-tuwa’t kinikilig pa ako pero biglang magiging ganito.

“But I don’t love her,” Harold explained, clutching my hands like he doesn’t want to let them go.

“How about her?” And I’m talking about her fiancee.

“She doesn’t love me either. Kung gaano ko kadisgusto ang engagement na ’to, mas lalo siya. We didn’t want it. We never wanted it. It’s just our parents who were pushing us into this marriage.”

I stayed still in my spot. I didn’t talk. I couldn’t even talk. Naglakas loob akong tanungin kung anong meron sa aming dalawa pero hindi naman ganitong sagot ang inaasahan ko. Sobrang nabigla ako. I didn’t know that the guy I like was already engaged.

I heard him sigh and looked me in my eyes. “Please believe me. I didn’t want this. Ikaw ang gusto ko, Lacey Anne. And I’m telling you this because I don’t want to keep it from you. I wanted to be honest with you.”

I looked at him and gave him a small smile. Ramdam kong totoo ang mga sinasabi niya. Totoong may kung anong kirot akong nararamdaman sa dibdib ko pero masaya ako dahil hindi niya ito inilihim sa akin.

“If you want, I’ll let you meet her. I also want to introduce you to her.”

Learning about his engagement was enough for me to handle, but meeting his fiancee didn’t cross my mind. But things just happen when you least expect it. At heto nga, nakita ko na lang ang sarili ko sa harap ng salamin, kasalukuyang nag-aayos.

A horn made by a car from outside stopped me from what I’m doing. Eksakto namang kuntento na ako sa pag-aayos ng sarili ko kaya kinuha ko ang maliit kong bag, saka ako lumabas at dumiretso sa gate. Harold is already waiting for me.

Lumabas ito ng kotse at sinalubong ako. “Are you really okay with this? Sure, I told you I’ll let you meet her, but—”

“It’s alright. Don’t mind me, okay?” I assured him.

I don’t know what has gotten into me. Ilang linggo na noong malaman ko ang tungkol sa engagement niya, at ’yung pagsabi niya sa aking imimeet ’yung fiancee niya. Kaya noong isang araw nang sabihin nito sa aking magkikita silang dalawa, sinabi kong gusto kong sumama.

I’m not trying to torture myself this way. Part of me wanted to meet her.

Besides, I can say that Harold and I became closer after that day. Hindi ko alam kung paanong nangyari iyon. Kasi dapat sa sitwasyong mayroon siya, nilalayuan ko na siya. But it happened the other way around. Mas lalo kaming napalapit sa isa’t isa. Gawa na rin siguro ng pagiging totoo niya sa akin.

“Why do you keep on looking in my direction?” I asked him. Kasalukuyan na ngayong umaandar ang sasakyan at hindi ko alam kung bakit panay ang lingon niya sa akin.

“God, I really can’t believe you. I shouldn’t have told you that,” anya. Natawa tuloy ako.

“Okay nga lang ako, ano ba? I really wanted to meet her.”

“Fine, fine,” sumusuko niyang saad habang patuloy na nagmamaneho.

Minutes passed, and I found out that we were heading to the Everton International University. When the guard allowed us inside, I roamed my eyes from the details of the university. It was so big. Katulad din ng school namin.

We stayed inside the car. Maya-maya pa, may nakita akong babaeng papalapit sa direksyon namin. Her long hair was swaying along her strides. Nakabusangot man siya pero hindi noon naitatago ang kagandahan niya.

She then knocked on the door at the back, maybe to let Harold know that she was already here. Saglit pa ay binuksan niya na ang pintuan at pumasok sa loob. Inis pa niyang itinapon ang kanyang bag, hindi pansin ang presensya ko.

“Did they ask us again to join them for dinner? Or was it Tita Margaret’s doing? Gosh, this engagement didn’t do me good,” reklamo nito.

This was my first time meeting her, but I confirmed that she hated that engagement too, like what Harold said.

“No, it’s not,” paliwanag ni Harold sa kanya. “I’m with my someone.” Noon lamang siya umayos ng upo at agad na lumipat ang tingin sa akin.

“Oh, god. Why didn’t you tell me?” Lumapit ito kay Harold at bigla niya itong kinurot sa tagiliran. Muli niya akong nilingon at nginitian. “Hi, I’m Rhian Cassandra. Gosh, you’re so pretty!”

Hindi ko alam pero bigla naman akong namula sa sinabi niya.

“Isn’t she the girl you’re telling me?” bulong nito pero dinig ko dahil magkatabi lang naman kami ni Harold. “You’re Lacey Anne, right? Now I understand why Harold sounds head over heels when he tells me about you.”

That made my cheeks blush more. Hindi ko alam na ikinukwento pala ako ni Harold sa kanya. She even knew my name.

Pumunta kaming tatlo sa isang restaurant. Pagabi na rin kasi at napagkasunduan naming dito na lang magdinner.

“Ah, Lacey...” I looked at Rhian when she called me. Katatapos lang naming nag-order kanina. Pumunta naman saglit si Harold sa comfort room kaya kaming dalawa lang ang naiwan dito sa table.

“Don’t feel uncomfortable with me, okay? I know Harold already told you about us, but believe me, that engagement was nothing between us. It’s the elders’ decision. Or should I say my stepmom’s idea? You know, she had that stepmom’s attitude like those in fairy tales.” Pagak itong tumawa. Then I suddenly read pain in her eyes.

“What about your Mom? Does she know about it?” I don’t know why I suddenly asked her that.

“She’s long gone.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” agap ko.

The pain in her eyes was so visible that I’m feeling it as well. I can relate to her pain with our mothers being the reason. Pero hindi ko alam kung kanino ako maaawa. Kung sa akin ba kasi hindi ko pa nakikita ang nanay ko, o sa kanya dahil wala na ang nanay niya? Nagkaroon nga siya ng pangalawang ina pero sa kwento niya’y halatang iba ang trato sa kanya.

“Rhian, are you okay?” nag-aalala kong tanong sa kanya.

“Yeah. Thanks for asking.” Ngumiti ito. “Do you want to ask me something?”

I pressed my lips first before opening my mouth. “Can I ask why you guys got engaged when it clearly shows that you never want it?”

“For the sake of our family’s businesses.” Hindi ko man alam ang buong kwento pero ramdam ko ang pait sa kanyang tono.

“Don’t worry, Harold and I will make a way to break off this stupid engagement. I know a bit about the two of you, so please, don’t mind what Harold and I have. Mas importante kayong dalawa. Also, you can treat me as someone who doesn’t exist.” Rhian smiled and winked at me. Natawa tuloy ako sa kanya.

“Baliw ka ba? How could I do that?”

“Just do so. You’re the first girl Harold ever introduced to me. He really likes you.”

For some reason, Rhian could make me blush with her words. I thought I could dislike her, but she’s so nice for me to do that. I feel comfortable talking with her too.

“Bakit ang tahimik niyo? Did Rhian tell you something?” tanong ni Harold pagkabalik niya sa table namin.

“Yeah, I told her to leave you alone,” pang-aasar ni Rhian sa kanya.

“What the fuck?” Sa reaksyon niya’y natawa kami pareho ni Rhian.

Nagkataon namang dumating na ang order namin kaya ’yon ang aming pinagkaabalahan. Habang kumakain ay halos kami lang ni Rhian ang nag-uusap at halatang nagtataka si Harold kung bakit bigla kaming naging close sa isa’t isa.

After finishing our food, we continued talking, until Rhian’s phone rang. Later, she informed us that she has to go. Tinanong ni Harold kung saan ito sasakay dahil nga sinundo namin siya kanina sa school niya. Aniya’y magpapasundo daw siya sa best friend niya.

“Ihatid na kita sa labasan kung doon mo hihintayin si Jana,” Harold insisted.

“It’s alright. Just stay here. Don’t leave your woman alone here.” Picking up her bag, she looked at me. “It was nice meeting you, Lacey. Let’s hang out soon.”

Tumango naman ako sa kanya. “Sure, let’s do that. Take care, Rhian.” And then she walked out of this restaurant, leaving Harold and me alone.

“I was just gone for minutes and you seem pretty close now.”

“It was my first time meeting her, but I can say she’s a nice person, Harold. Paanong hindi mo siya nagustuhan—”

“Kasi ikaw ang gusto ko.”

“Sus,” I rebutted, pero kinikilig naman sa narinig. When I saw his hand lying on the table, I slowly reached it. “You said you wanted to court me... Pumapayag na ako.”

“Really?” Excitement covered his emotion, especially when I nodded, and he quickly entangled both our hands.

I can see how happy he is, same with me, of course. I don’t want to lose this chance. I also don’t want to stop myself from feeling happy for the reason of him being engaged. Now that I know everything, I don’t want to live with regrets. I just want to have this chance for us to know each other better.

“Nakapagpasa na ba ang lahat ng papers nila?” Our professor in major subject asked. All of us answered yes. “If that’s so, our subject ends here. You may have your lunch break now. Class dismissed.”

I quickly stack up my things in my bag, except for the books which I left untouched on my table. Babalik pa naman kami rito dahil may afternoon class pa kami. Kaysa bitbitin ’yon papuntang cafeteria, iiwanan ko na lang muna rito.

“May naghihintay sa’yo sa labas,” Lizzie informed and I now had an idea who it might be.

“Ayaw niyong sumabay sa amin?”

“There’s no way. Ayaw naming maging third wheel.” Like usual, they laughed at their own jokes. “Kita na lang tayo later. Happy lunchtime. Bye-bye!” Then they stormed out.

Sumunod naman ako at nakita kong nasa labas si Harold, naghihintay. Nang makita niya akong papalabas na ay saka siya lumapit sa akin.

“I saw your friends earlier. I asked them kung gusto nilang sumama pero hindi sila pumayag.”

“Ayaw daw nilang maging third wheel,” I joked, like what they reasoned out.

“Am I snatching you away from your friends?” tanong niya bigla na ikinatawa ko.

“Sira ka ba? Besides, having someone take me out is so in favor to them,” malaman kong saad. This time siya naman ang natawa.

My friends already knew that Harold is courting me. Just when I got home after permitting him to court me that day, I immediately opened it up to them. I didn’t even exclude the part that he’s engaged and that I already met Rhian, his fiancee.

Katulad ko, naguluhan din sila sa setup na mayroon sila. Pero dahil nakwento ko lahat-lahat, unti-unti naman nilang naiintindihan. They also respected my decision on allowing Harold to court me. They just hope that his engagement wouldn’t hurt me and that it wouldn’t cause me unwanted feelings.

Harold and I were now eating here in the cafeteria. Panay din ang kwentuhan namin.

Since the day I agreed on him courting me, he started to pick me up and send me back home after school. Minsan ay siya rin ang nakakasama ko for lunch. Kahit nga magkaiba kami ng kurso ay nagiging study buddy kami. And I’m enjoying what we have right now.

Each day, we got to know more about each other. Our likes and dislikes, our favorites, the things we love to do, the things we wanted to learn, and many more. Alam ko marami pa kaming dapat malaman sa isa’t isa and we’re making it slowly. Hindi naman kami nagmamadali.

Sa school naman, since the day of our finals was already scheduled, we both concentrated on it. Pareho na kaming nasa senior years kaya kailangan naming magpokus dito kung gusto naming makapag-enroll sa second semester.

Ang sana’y study buddy namin ay hindi na rin nangyari. It just really won’t work for us this time unlike last time when we don’t have a hectic schedule. Isa pa, magkaiba kami ng paraan ng pagrereview. I do better at night. He does it anytime.

“Lacey, hey...” Namulat ako dahil sa mahinang tapik sa pisngi ko. I looked around and noticed that we were already inside the vicinity of our university.

I yawned and shook my head, trying to get the slumber away from myself.

“What time did you sleep last night?” Harold asked me. Siya na itong nagtanggal sa seatbelt ko dahil nakasandal pa ako sa upuan, gusto pang matulog.

“Around midnight—aww!” Ang antok ko ay tuluyang nawala dahil sa medyo malakas na pagpitik nito sa noo ko.

“You told me you’ll stop at 10 pm.”

“Tinapos ko lang ’yung isang major namin kagabi.”

I got used to reviewing my subjects ahead of time. Ayoko kasi talaga ng nagka-cram. Two days from now is our finals and I had three more subjects left. Hindi ko naman kayang reviewhin sa isang gabi lang ang mga subjects namin. I don’t want to battle unprepared to think that our finals are on a cover-to-cover basis—from prelims up to finals topics.

Our finals then approached and I’m hopeful to get passing scores. Naaral ko naman ang dapat aralin. Sana lang lahat ng questions ay masagutan ko.

Gone is the anxiety eating me because seeing our test papers, I’m familiar mostly with the questions. May mangilan-ngilan akong hindi sigurado pero alam ko namang maipapasa ko ang mga ito.

Nagtagal ng dalawang araw ang exam namin at natutuwa naman ako sa kinalabasan dahil matataas naman ang nakuha ko. May mga projects din kaming hinabol at pakiramdam ko’y makakahinga na ako nang maluwag dahil natapos ko na ang lahat ng dapat gawin.

“Once your grade is done, your professors will upload it in our sappharo online portal. You may check your sappharo account from time to time to see if your grades are already available.”

Masaya kaming lumabas sa room matapos ng anunsyong iyon. Finally, we survived the first semester. Makakapagpahinga rin muna kami kahit papaano dahil bakasyon na namin.

With my eyes closed, I rubbed my shoulder feeling heated up. Nang magmulat ako, doon ko nakitang naaarawan na pala ako dahil tumatagos ang sinag ng araw mula sa bintana. I looked at the clock and it was already a quarter to eleven. Natawa na lamang ako. For the first time in a while, I woke up so late. Iba talaga kapag wala ka ng iniisip. It’s finally our vacation.

“Hey, let’s have a date tomorrow,” I informed Harold. We’re currently video-calling each other.

[Wow, can’t believe you’re the one initiating a date now.] Pang-aasar nito sa akin. Before I could retract my words, he quickly agreed.

“Aayaw-ayaw pa, e.” Ako naman ang nang-aasar ngayon.

Kinabukasan noon ay naghanap na ako ng masusuot. We decided to have a lunch date kaya alas dyes pa lang ay nag-ayos na ako. This time, I dolled up a bit with a pretty dress hugging myself. When Harold came to pick me up, I quickly went out.

“Do I look pretty?” I asked. Umikot pa ako sa harapan niya, pinagyayabang ang suot kong damit.

“You always were.”

“Sus...” That became my expression every time he’s making me blush.

Sa isang restaurant kami kumain. Then we played in the arcade. I got cringed at the thought of having a date in a place like this, but it’s different when you’re experiencing it. We also bought things for ourselves. Saka kami naglibot-libot dito sa mall. We didn’t even notice the time. Kung hindi pa dumilim ay wala pa yata kaming balak umuwi.

Harold and I grabbed our dinner from the same restaurant where we had our lunch. Nasabi ko na rin sa kanyang uuwi akong California at babalik ako bago ang enrollment para sa second semester. Tumango naman ito at sinabing ihahatid daw ako sa airport sa araw na ’yon.

Filling up our stomachs, we stayed a bit before we decided to go home.

Nakangiti lamang ako habang umaandar ang sasakyan. I left the window open and appreciate the night view of the city, as well as how the vehicles are lining up on the road.

“Are you happy?”

I glanced at Harold who was busily maneuvering the car and smiled at him. Our date was pretty simple, but we really enjoyed it.

Nang huminto ang sasakyan sa harap ng bahay ko, kinuha ko ang ilang paper bags mula sa backseat. Because I’m holding those with my both hands, Harold closed the gap between us and unbuckled my seatbelt. Hindi ko alam kung sinasadya ba niya pero ni hindi ito lumayo sa akin kahit tapos niya naman ng alisin iyon. I can even feel our breath together.

His eyes suddenly went down to my lips. I’m anticipating him to do something, but he’s battling himself not to. Nang lumayo ito sa akin ay pinipigilan ko ang sariling matawa.

“I have to go,” I announced.

My hand found its way to the door. I already pushed it open, but quickly pulled it back. And when I faced Harold, this time, it was me who closed the gap between us; letting go of the paper bags, and claimed his lips.

“Why did you kiss me?” He still seemed taken aback.

I caressed his face and smiled at him. “Your lips are worth the yes.”

Naningkit ang mga mata nito dahil hindi pa nakuha ang sinabi ko. I laughed at his reaction. “Sinasagot na kita,” paliwanag ko.

When he realized what I said, he suddenly cursed out of nowhere and enveloped me in between his arms. Na para bang ayaw niya akong pakawalan. He caressed my hair and I felt how he kissed me on top of my head.

“How could you answer me now that you’re leaving?” Mas lalong humigpit ang yakap nito sa akin. Sa susunod na araw na kasi ang flight ko pauwing California.

I hugged Harold more and buried my head in his neck. “I wanna make you miss me more.”