You guys know the drill. Vote, comment, follow. Ily✨

MICAH BLEU

It felt like it took me hours to get home, I didn't even bother listening to any music or scroll through my phone. I just stared ahead at the tube window and wished that everything was somehow different. That this wasn't my life and in a parallel universe everything was actually fine.

But it wasn't. Everything was far from fine.

My eyes pricked with tears but I refused to let them fall, especially not on London transport. I would die from the sheer embarrassment if anyone saw me break down in tears.

I knew going to work would be hard, seeing Weston would be hard. In a way I convinced myself that it would get easier, over time. But that was such a fucking lie.

It had been over a week since I'd been back to work after the leak through the office ceiling, every work day I saw Weston without fail. And every time it made me crumble to the floor with sadness.

Theo, Lauren and Abi could clearly sense the tension between us. My moping wasn't doing me any favours but I couldn't help it, coping without him was hard but then having to see him everyday was harder.

I could tell that he wanted to speak to me but neither of us really knew what to say.

What was there to say? We were no longer together and communicating was only going to ruin my progress. The first weeks are the hardest, by far but once I had managed to deal with my emotions and severely broken heart, I should be on the mend.

Hopefully. Secretly praying that's how it works.

I finally manage to pull myself off the tube, almost missing my stop all together with how much over-thinking I had been doing. My feet drag my sorry ass up to my apartment, releasing my key from my pocket and pushing open the front door.

Valentina was sat at the dining table with her laptop, clearly doing overtime. She glances up at me and offers a smile, my hand shutting the door behind me. "Hey," she says as I drop my jacket and bag to the floor.

She watches me carefully as I take slow steps over to the table, dragging out the chair which was opposite and sitting down with a thud.

"Are you okay?" She questions as she shuts her laptop, resting her elbows on the edge of the table.

I shake my head and wipe my eyes. "No," my voice cracks. "Not really."

"Weston?"

My head nods and I drop my eyes down to the table, finding my hands in front of my body. I dig into the skin around my fingernails and pull at the strands.

Valentina leans over to grab my hands, stopping me from destroying my nailbeds. "What's going on in your mind?" She asks.

I glance up at her after a few seconds. A deep sigh releasing from my lips as I push back into the chair. "I can't work at Neptune anymore," I mumble. "I know what I got myself in for when I started dating Weston when I joined the company. I thought I could handle this if something like this ever happened."

Valentina frowns at my words but remains silent.

"I thought I could but I can't. Seeing him everyday is ruining my healing process, my mental health is spiralling and I feel like I'm trapped. I think it's going to get easier but it doesn't, it's harder than ever. To even want to get up and go to work." I huff out before burying my head into my hands and releasing a fresh batch of tears.

"Hey," Valentina whispers as I could hear the chair scrape the floor. She perches down beside me and slides her hand over my shoulder and down my arm. "You need to do what is best for you. But whatever you do, don't just quit. Find a job first and give yourself some security."

I sigh into my hands and nod. Straightening my spine and continuing to wipe my eyes as Valentina watches me carefully. "I know," I mumble through my tears. "You're right, I just want to leave now. It's too painful."

"I know it is," she says before engulfing my body into a tight hug. "I know how hard this has been for you but you are so strong. You can do this, okay? This isn't the end, you will get everything back on track and you'll be better than ever."

My arms wrap around her body and rest my head onto her shoulder. Not realising how badly I needed a hug, or just someone to listen to me and let me be upset. Valentina always knew how to be the best friend, patient and understanding. I wouldn't find anyone better than her.

"Thanks Vee," I say quietly as I pull from her hold.

She leans toward to wipe away my rogue tears and offers me a warm smile. "Have you spoken about what happened?"

I shake my head instantly. "I didn't give him the chance," I say as I squeeze my eyes together tightly. "He had his chance to tell me before, I can't keep going on like this and then find out in six months he actually has a child or something."

"Do you not want to know what happened?"

"No," I say instantly. "I don't want to think about him or what happened because it's over between us. What's the point of wasting my energy on something I need to get over?"

Valentina purses her lips and nods. "I guess you're right," she agrees. "Who sent the letter?"

I shrug. "Estella or a friend of hers, I don't know. Suppose she won this time."

"She didn't win," Valentina shakes her head. "She's just a desperate low life. Maybe in a silver lining way, she did you a favour. I mean, would you have found out if that letter wasn't sent?"

"No, Weston was never going to tell me. Said he was trying to ignore that part of his life." I mumble as I lean back in the chair, Valentina sits in the seat next to mine.

Valentina's mouth opens before releasing a deep breath. "Well as long as you're sure that this is what you want, not being with Weston, not working for Weston. If it's what you want then I support your decision."

My eyes flick between Valentina's before I start breaking down again, pressing my hand to my forehead as tears cloud my vision. "He's my person Vee," I say as an almighty sob erupts from my chest. "He is the person I thought I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. But with all the lies and the secrets. What the fuck is our relationship if we don't have trust?"

"You love him to death Micah," she says as she grips my arm. "Is it worth losing everything you had for a mistake that he is clearly devastated about?"

I ponder for a moment, of course I still want to be with him but I couldn't bear the thought of more secrets being kept from me. I couldn't hack another blow when he's been lying to me this whole time, not when he has had more than one opportunity to tell me.

"If Weston valued our relationship at all, he would have told me when I found out about Estella in the first place," I respond angrily and Valentina eventually nods.

"I get that," her expression falls to a look of sadness.

"I'm just saving myself for future heartbreak," I nod as I focus on a spot on the table, feeling my eyes burn painfully from my endless crying. "If I give him another chance and he tramples all over my trust, I'd never forgive myself for being so fucking stupid and believing everyone's bullshit. I need time to be alone to process all of this."

Valentina hums. "I guess giving yourself a chance to get over this and be single is going to help. I'm going to be here for you, whatever you need. You know that right?"

"Yes," I force a smile. "I know you are. Thanks Vee."

She gives my arm a squeeze, her eyes glancing over my face. "Everything will work out in the end." She tells me.

"This is just so fucking hard," I admit, the sound of my own voice cracking. "I've never felt pain like this. I had no idea heartbreak hurt this fucking much."

"It won't be like this forever," Valentina expresses. "I promise. I know it hurts but it's not always like this."

I wipe my eyes again. "I don't even remember what it feels like to be normal," I mumble.

"Things will get better," she tries again, shuffling her chair impossibly closer. "I know they will."

"But what if they don't?" I say as I huff out a deep breath. "What if I'm heartbroken for the rest of my life and I can never get over him?"

Valentina instantly frowns. "Well..." she trails off. "If you're still heartbroken in the future, maybe that will say a lot about the situation. But you might move on, find someone new or find that life is perfectly liveable as a single person."

"And what if I don't find comfort in either of those?"

"Then I guess you would have let Weston get away." She says honestly. "When he was the one all along."

I hated this impossible situation, every direction convinced me that I would end up heartbroken in some way and there was nothing I could do to change that. I was destined for this fate.

"That's what I'm terrified of," I shake my head over and over. "That I'm making a terrible decision."

"If Weston is serious about you, about your relationship and being honest. Then I believe he will wait around until you are sure what you want to do. Everything is still so raw at the minute, you might change your mind and have an epiphany." Valentina suggests.

"I might not," I say over her.

She hums instantly. "You're right, you might not. But you're entitled to feel however you want to feel. Do what you need to do to make this time as easy as possible. If you want to leave his company, then leave. But have a plan first."

I nod as I watch her talk. "Thanks Vee," I say gratefully. "I really needed this chat, I feel like there is a small weight off my shoulders now."

Valentina's lips crack into a small smile. "That's what best friends are for, huh?"

"Definitely," I agree. "We've seen each other in some states."

She snorts and pulls back in her chair. "Some states is an understatement."

A small laugh passes my lips as I wipe my nose, praying my tears had stopped for tonight. I don't think my skin could cope with it anymore, my skin was already turning dry.

"Shall we do what we always infamously do?" She suggests with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

"Do what?"

"Order food, eat our feelings and watch shitty movies."

I laugh quietly and nod. "I'm definitely in need of some of that." I say.

Valentina claps her hands together and leans over the table to grab her phone. "What are we feeling? Pizza? Italian? Chinese?" She lists.

"Can't go wrong with pizza," I say as she scrolls through her phone.

"Pizza it is," she grins. "Shall we get dessert too? Ice cream? Cookie dough? Cake?"

"Oh, we're going full out?" I arch an eyebrow at her.

She chuckles and nods, her pony tail flicking in the process. "Yes," she says. "Of course we're going all out. There is no reason why we shouldn't. Right?"

"Right," I nod.

"It's been a while since we've sat in and had a night just us two in ages," Valentina says as she taps away at her screen. "Pepperoni, yes?"

"Yes please," I say gratefully.

"Okay, it's ordered along with some sweet treats for after." She chimes before locking her phone and dropping it to the table."

"Thanks Vee, I really appreciate it."

Her eyes glisten at me as she shows me a warm smile. "No need to thank me," she shakes her head. "Friends will do anything for each other."

. . .

Read up to chapter 38 on Patreon
www.patreon.com/dreammcatcher
Link is also in bio!

Oh my goodnesssss, this makes me so sad that they're so sad

I love Valentina, her advice and the way she deals with situations is so amazing. She sure knows what to say and how to say it. She's a friend that we all need!

What do you think is going to happen now?

What did you think of this chapter?

Eight chapters and two epilogues left!

See you all on the next one, love Sav x

Insta: SavRose.x
Patreon: dreammcatcher
Tik Tok: savanna.rose.x