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WESTON LOCKE

The last two days have been hell, nothing could relax my mind. Especially after Micah self-destructed in front of me and told me to leave his apartment, the look in his eyes completely broke me and I realised how much I had fucked everything up.

Due to the ongoing leak in the office, I hadn't seen Micah these last couple of days. No one but Fred and I had been into the building and not seeing him was making my heart ache.

I had dropped him a few texts, rang him when I could and left a voicemail. But he didn't want to talk to me. He was completely ignoring me and I understood why but I didn't want this to be the end. This couldn't be the end because he's the only person I have ever wanted.

Micah was right, I should have just told him what went down between me and Estella. But I didn't want to push him away, it was always a difficult topic to talk about.

I wanted to get away from that toxic part of my life, move on and attempt to believe that it never happened. But I guess I never wanted to admit that this could happen, that he would find out and I get why he's mad.

He's read articles upon articles that brush me as a monster, a domestically abusive partner who is manipulative. But I am none of those things.

I could never hurt Estella, or Micah or anyone unless I needed to physically defend myself.

After Estella attempted to kill herself in my bathtub, told me that if I left her she'd write a letter that I had pushed her to suicide. I panicked and for a few weeks I stupidly gave into her demands because I was afraid she would do something like that.

Despite being told by people to not give her what she has been craving, I couldn't just ignore her. The thought of her killing herself terrified me.

After talking to my lawyer, he said I had to distance myself and start providing evidence against her before she destroyed my life.

So one day after work I laid everything on the table, I spoke my mind, honestly, truthfully. Praying that she would appreciate my calm tone and my cries for help but she didn't. Shit hit the fan and she started screaming at me, yelling, throwing items across the room.

I couldn't bear it anymore, the chaos was terrifying.

My fist raised and I plunged it into the wall, attempting to shift some of the built up anger and frustration I had riding in my body.

Estella stopped crying and she looked down to my fist. Then before I knew it she started slamming her face down onto the table, screaming at the top of her lungs, yelling out the word stop, over and over.

I blinked back in shock, frozen to the spot as her body fell to the floor.

Blood dripped from her nose as her lazy gaze found mine.

She looked me dead in the eye and screamed, "No! Please don't hurt me again, Alexander. Please. I promise I'll be good." Before punching herself directly in the eye, the socket was already beginning to swell.

My body shook with an unknown emotion. I didn't know what the fuck to do.

So I darted towards her attempting to restrain her body so she could no longer hurt herself, but her screaming continued. She thrashed against my hold, screaming for me to stop. Her blood dripped down onto my white shirt and her nails dug into my arm painfully.

Before I knew it the police had been called by a concerned neighbour, they broke down my door. Took one look at Estella's injuries and arrested me instantly, my knuckles were bruised from punching the wall and her blood was all over my shirt. Of course they were going to believe her, how could they not?

She had well and truly fucked me up.

When they pulled me away there was a glint of success in her eyes as she cried to the police officers, paramedics beginning to attend to her wounds.

Words had completely failed me. I couldn't comprehend my anger, my tiredness, my sadness.

This shit had been going on far too long and I didn't even have a second to breathe.

The police took me to the station and I was held in a cell until they could build up some kind of case. They took swabs from my hands and from Estella's face but the wounds on her face to my knuckles didn't match up.

My lawyers managed to convince the jury that Estella was a manipulative liar with other evidence from our relationship.

I was innocent and she was proven guilty.

How had I been portrayed as the monster when all I wanted was to live a simple, private and easy life?

That is all I wanted.

Then when I met Micah, he proved that I could have all of those things. Everything was easy with him, our relationship was easy, our life together was easy. We were mature, we talked things out.

We never turned toxic when things got rough. We listened to each other, we were patient and understanding.

But right now in this moment, I had lost Micah because I lost his trust. I lost everything.

When we sat talking about Estella, how we were once engaged, it never once crossed my mind to talk about what happened between us because I had ignored every inch of that night. I had pushed it into the back of my mind, into the unknown to never be remembered again.

I never wanted Micah to find out like this, it should have come from me. I should have told him when I explained about Estella being my fiancé. Relationships shouldn't have secrets and deep down I knew he would never judge me before knowing the full story.

But keeping it from him like this makes me look guilty, I understand that. The thought of Micah thinking I had hurt her makes me feel sick to my stomach, I'd never want him to think that I could do that to someone.

Never have I felt so lonely in my life than I have these last couple of days.

Seeing Micah so upset has been imprinted in my brain and was on replay in my mind. I was torturing myself and the fact he was ignoring me was making this worse.

He broke up with me. He ended things with me.

The leak in the office was patching up and Fred and I had agreed that people could come back into the office tomorrow.

It was after seven o'clock on Wednesday evening. I was still sat at my desk, too afraid to go home because it reminded me of Micah. His clothes were still there, a pair of his glasses and a couple of books.

I couldn't hack the heartbreak.

My hands play with my phone in front of me and before I knew it, I was ringing his number.

With each ring my hope drops and it cuts to voicemail. I sigh silently and dig my fingers into my eyes, listening as the phone beeps into my ear.

"Hi," I breathe out slowly. "I've been thinking about you, about us. About everything that happened. And I know you don't owe me anything because I am the one who fucked up. I fucked up our perfect relationship."

I pause for a moment to swallow, the pain running down my throat as I double over my desk.

"But I just want you to listen to what really happened. And I get I should have told you ages ago but I didn't, and I want you to know the true story." I heave out, ignoring the tears that sting my eyes. "Please just hear me out."

I stare ahead at my office wall, my fist tightening as I refuse to put down the phone.

"I love you." I murmur before hanging up.

My hand drops the phone to my desk and I clench my eyes shut. A singular tear slipping down my cheek as my heart continues to shatter inside my chest.

. . .

I didn't sleep a wink last night, I knew that everyone would be coming back to the office today and Micah would be one of them.

At eight o'clock I had various people come to my office explaining their situation with working from home, their lack of resources and how behind they were with work.

Micah must have slipped through the door during this time, when I stood from my desk chair to peer out at the office floor, he was already sat in his chair across the room.

His head was buried into his computer, his glasses pushed right up against his eyes. But what I noticed was he was wearing a black hoodie, he never wears hoodies or loungewear to work. He always comes dressed smart.

He wanted to go unnoticed but for me it went completely the other way. It made me notice him more.

My lips fell into a frown as I pull away from the door and shut it firmly, sinking my head into my hands, walking towards my desk.

Today would be the longest day of my life because all I wanted to do was talk to him and yet I couldn't even do that. He didn't want to be anywhere near me.

But realistically I couldn't talk to him right now. We'd both break down and doing that at work is extremely unprofessional and neither of us would want anyone to hear our private business.

Considering Micah hadn't responded to any of my texts or voicemails, it was only prolonging my anxiety. Maybe he would never forgive me, he could never trust me again.

He needs time. We both need time. I keep telling myself but it only makes it worse.

I didn't want to push him away but it seemed like I was.

Fred and I had various meetings throughout the day which made time go somewhat faster than I expected but I still couldn't focus. Not for a second without thinking about him.

I know that Fred could see I was struggling but he didn't question and I was grateful.

Five o'clock finally rolled around, most people leaving on the dot but Micah doesn't leave for another thirty or so minutes.

My office door was kept open so I could see him, Theo, Lauren and Abi had already left for the day. Only a couple of other people were still working to catch up with whatever they had missed.

That's when I saw out of the corner of my eye as Micah stands from his desk and slings his backpack over his shoulder. His head is kept firmly down and he avoids eye contact with everyone as he walks through the office.

I stand from my desk and walk towards the door just as he walks by.

"Micah," I call out for him as he walks away.

For a second I thought he was going to carry on without looking at me but he doesn't, he stops but remains facing away from me.

His shoulders raise for a moment before dropping harshly.

Slowly he turns around to face me, his eyes barely meet mine. He didn't look his best but he still looked perfect to me.

Of course these last couple of days had taken its toll on him, he was devastated and he wasn't just going to get over that. Neither of us were.

His eyes finally glance up at me, waiting for me to say something.

I hesitate for a moment, my lips parting but too afraid to say anything. But I knew I had to before he turned around and didn't look back.

"I just wanted to know if you're okay?" I exhale suddenly.

Micah's brow creases for a moment. "No Weston," he says bluntly. Hearing him say my full name made my heart clench painfully. "I'm not okay."

I frown instantly, trying to think of something to say that could salvage this moment but I didn't know what could.

Our eyes flick between each others for a few seconds before Micah nods once and turns away. Watching as he walks down the hall and towards the stairs.

My mouth opens and closes like I didn't know what to do.

"Fuck," I curse under my breath and fall back into my office, pressing my hand to the door and slamming it shut.

The sound echoing off the walls, enough for it to snap off the hinges. I turn back to my desk and press my palms to the edge, hunching my back over as I clench my eyes shut. Wishing that somehow this could all be resolved and I didn't have to go another night without Micah by my side.

. . .

Read up to chapter 37 on Patreon
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Ohhhhh my Weston, my heart breaks for him

What did you guys think of this chapter?

Seeing them like this breaks meeeeeee

Still have nine chapters left so we've got a lot to cover!

Also I posted Micah and Weston meet Weston's biological parents over on my Patreon! Link in bio x

Hope everyone is okay! See you all on the next one, love Sav x

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