Time.

That was the issue.

How much time did she have?

To commit the unthinkable.

To leave this earth.

To ruin her body.

How much time did she have?

It was a thought that Raven had often. A thought that she didn't really enjoy. She often stared at her clock, wondering what would happen if one second passed by and she was gone.

Just poof. Gone from the world.

Gone from their lives.

Truth be told, a part of her was terrified to execute this plan. A part of her was guilty. By causing herself harm, she would also be putting her friends in pain, especially him.

Because of the bond that they shared, the mind meld they had with each other.

He would feel it as she ended her life. Of course, she would try to hold her pain and emotions back as she did it, but at some point he would become overwhelmed with her pain.

Both emotional and physical.

She only hoped that he could handle it, that he could handle her pain and her death. It was hard, she knew that, to accept the death of someone close to you.

And she knew he loved her, but that didn't stop her from doing this. She needed this, and Raven hoped he understood.

But, Raven knew she was hurting him, taking away the one thing he had been hoping for: her.

Her and her love. Something now that he would never be able to have because of her actions.

She looked down at the dust on the abandoned building's floor, smiling sadly and laughing a small, pained laugh. One that would send anyone who knew her on edge.

"I'm sure he'll be able to handle it," a few tears formed in her eyes, cascading down her cheek, "He's always been so strong."

She closed her eyes, wiping the tear away and biting her lip to keep from bawling.

"Unlike you. You've always been weak, helpless. Stupid. Everything in between."

She swallowed the lump in her throat, glancing at the broken glass next to her from the window she had blown out, just for her plan.

She picked up one of the pieces, the one she had chosen to do the deed.

To end her life.

Slitting one's throat was said to be very painful. She would know. One time, in a battle with Slade, the mask-wearing madman took a knife to her neck.

The plan was to use her as a distraction, not actually harm her, but when she kicked his shin, the blade slipped and sliced open a small part of her neck.

And it hurt like hell.

Raven didn't usually cry in front of her team mates, but that one time, tears spilled from her eyes as she grit her teeth in pain and covered her throat with her hands.

She had to have stitches until she could heal it, which was a couple days due to emotional trauma.

So, doing this was what she thought was best. It would cause her pain, and she wanted pain. She wanted to know she was dying, to know she was ending her life, to know she would never walk this Earth in this body again.

That's all she wanted.

Raven felt the smooth sides of the glass, making sure to stay away from the point she had created for the time being. That would be saved for later, soon, that would be for when she was ready.

"Selfish." She told herself, gripping the sides of the glass, a little bit of blood spilling from her hand as she held it tightly.

"You're selfish for doing this, Raven." She swallowed, empty laughter bubbling up in her throat as she did so.

"But who cares? No one. Not one person cares about you, Raven. If they did, they would be here by now. He would be trying to feel you through the bond." She laughed, tears spilling from her eyes and empty words leaving her mouth.

"So what if it's selfish? It's your body, and you can choose what to do with it. If you-if I want to waste my life, then I will, dammit!"

She brought the blade up to her throat, gritting her teeth as the cool glass pressed against her neck, threatening her every being.

Her mind was beginning to crack at the edges, and if she wanted some type of sanity in the afterlife, she would have to do it now, before it was too late and she was going insane from pain.

Now was the perfect time to commit the ultimate sin. She had no that choice than to do it now, before the worst happened to her.

For a second, she hesitated.

For a second, she looked around, wanting, hoping, for him to be there, for him to save here.

For a second, one tiny, little second, her mind went to him and how her heart fluttered every time he smiled at her, or how her stomach grew weak when he touched her shoulder.

For one tiny second, she loved.

She half expected him to bust through a window and tear the damned glass away, hold her until she fell asleep and take care of her until she could find happiness again.

But he didn't, and it tipped her over the edge.

Raven let a couple of tears fall down her face as she dragged the glass across her throat, feeling her flesh rip open, and a hot, burning pain seep into her, flashes of white coming across her vision.

The tears fell freely now, as the glass dropped from her hand and she stood, but not for long, because soon the back of her head was hitting the cold, dusty concrete floor with a thud and a groan of pain.

She stared up at the ceiling, the flashes and spots invading her vision every few seconds.

Raven could feel the blood flow down the side of her neck, surely started to pool by her head. She could feel the slight twitching in her left eye, and the tensing of her muscles as her body began to permanently shut down.

She had always been afraid of death, but looking back, she realized that it wasn't so scary. Yes, her body was screaming in pain, yes, her vision was blurry, yes, her blood was pooling, but her mind and soul were quite relaxed, quite content as all of this happened.

It wasn't emotionally painful, like she thought it would be. It was physically breaking her, but she was okay with that.

She was okay with the pain. And she hoped he was okay, as well.

At the mention of him, a familiar tugging feeling pulled at her, along with an aura that emitted concern and emotional pain, and Raven felt her stomach drop at this.

She could only feel an aura when the person was close by.

Which meant one thing:

He had found her.

Raven opened her mouth to curse, but instead of words, blood trickled out, and she began to panic.

She couldn't move, could barely see, only feel. And she felt him coming closer and closer with each passing second.

If he found her, if he got to her, there was a chance of survival, and that was the last thing she wanted.

She craved death, longed for sweet release, and his aura was threatening that.

She tried to throw him off, trying to send her own aura to another building, but Raven was too tired, physically and emotionally.

Her hands were too numb to grab more glass, so her plan of more harm to herself was out the window.

Why hadn't she thought of this? Why hadn't she had a backup plan in case time ran out?

Because she was stupid.

Raven felt her eyes close and body tensing as she heard footsteps in the distance, and a lone person calling her name, begging for her to be there, to be alive.

She was alive, if only a little, and she hated it. She hated it so goddamn much. She just wanted to die, just wanted to end her life, to stop this emotional pain.

Couldn't he see that he would only cause her more harm? Couldn't he see that he would only cause her more tears, more emotional pain?

A silent plea went into the air as she moved her lips, voice gone, but mind still working.

Please, let me die.

She didn't expect an answer to be called her way, voice quiet from distance.

"I can't do that, Raven!"

She smiled at this, heart fluttering once again at his words.

He always had to be the good guy. Always had to be the hero, to try and save lives.

She had been stupid to think he wouldn't try to save her.

Raven stayed there, she had to really, eyes filling with tears, a small smile on her face as she realized he would find her.

All she could do now was lie there and await her fate.

And oh, how she hoped that time was on her side, today.