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How can I love when I lost something I lost something I truly loved?

~The Next Day!~
I woke up to Undertaker hugging me. I looked at him confused. Then i remember that i had a nightmare that Sebastian died again but before he died he told me he would come back and with Ciel. I was still terrified of my dream. Undertaker woke up just now. He did something unsuspected........... He kissed me. I didnt know what to do. I just melted into the kiss. I had no control over myself. I kissed back. He finally pulled away after awhile. I was blushing. I'm not sure how i feel about this so im just going to let it go for now and think about it later.

~Later that Day~
Undertaker told me that Claude needed to see me. So i went to the Trancy Manor. I knocked on the door and Alois answered.

"Hello Allie. Are you here to see Claude?"Alois greets me.

"Hello your highness. And yes Claude said he needed to see me. Can you tell me where he is?" I answer. Alois leads me to Claude and goes back to making sure Hannah does her job. I feel really bad for Hannah she just wants to take care of Alois. Anyways Claude turns around.

"I thought you wouldnt show. I thought you wouldn't come because your dead husband wouldn't want you to." Claude says.

"I came because i have my own free will now what is it that you want." I ask

"I want you to be my wife or girlfriend at least."Claude says.

"No i will not." I say back. Then he kisses me. I dont know what was going on with me because i kissed back i kissed the enemy. I broke the kiss and ran to Grell and Will maybe they can be some help right now.

~At Reapers Headquarters~
I was sitting in Grells office with Will and Grell. They were both hugging me.

"I thought reapers hate demons why are you guys being so nice to me?" I ask confused.

"We are nice to you because we love you like Undertaker and Claude do. But we want to give you time till your ready to date again to try anything." Will explains to me. I smile at his kindness. I kiss his and Grells cheek.

"You two are the best." I say smiling.
But in reality how can i love when i lost something i truly love.............

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