Opening my eyes, I was immediately blinded by the sun coming through the windows in my room. Damn I need to invest in some light blocking curtains soon, I hate being woken up by the light outside, especially since I like to sleep in.

Last night was uneventful; after I walked downstairs, we all had dinner together. It was really weird eating with a family who actually talk to each other about their days and are genuinely interested in what they all have to say. I didn't really participate in their conversation, and they all thought it was due to my travelling which was fine by me. I simply did not have the energy to participate in their familial traditions.

However, I have a plan for today and that is to find a good, reliable dealer to give me my fix. I'm not sure I can last much longer without having a hit.

So with the plan in mind, I got out of bed and went to my en suite bathroom to get ready and take a shower. I did my usual morning routine by having a shower, getting dressed and putting on light make-up consisting of some eyeliner and mascara. I didn't really like putting foundation on my face as it made me feel trapped in my own skin, and the weather in California is not exactly friendly towards foundation. I can already imagine it all melting off my face and making me look like a cheesy puff.

I've put on a casual enough outfit for 'exploring' the neighbourhood. At least this is what I'll be telling them, and it seems like a good enough reason why I'll be gone all day.

I grabbed my small backpack, making sure I had enough cash to last me the day and anything else I might want to purchase. I made my way downstairs and as I was walking towards the front door, I was stopped by Dylan's voice.

"Hey you want some coffee? It's freshly brewed.." he said whilst waving a coffee mug, trying to tempt me with the hot beverage. I've got to admit that it was working; coffee is one of my weaknesses. It's a perfect drink as you can have it hot in autumn and winter and cold in the spring and summer. And it wakes you up and gives you extra energy during the day, and that is all I can ask for in a drink. Plus the smell was just intoxicating.

"Yeah sure, pour me a cup" I replied, heading towards the high chairs that were places in front of a high counter. Dylan poured the hot coffee into a mug and placed it in front of me. He slid some milk, sugar and a teaspoon, giving me the option of making it the way that I like.

"So, where are you going?" he asked, whilst sipping on his own, black coffee. That is when I started to judge him, because who drinks black coffee? It's disgusting and nothing compared to one with some milk and a teaspoon of sugar for extra sweetness. Gosh I love coffee.

"Just thought I would explore the area and see what's around, any recommendations?" I asked, blowing onto my coffee, hoping it will cool down soon so I can drink it and get out of the house already.

"I mean, there's not much around here to be honest, there's a few shops and cafes not far from here but if you want, I can show you around the place?" Dylan suggested. He was hoping she would agree to him joining her for the day; he wanted to spend more time with her and get to know her. They'll be living in the same house for a while so they might as well get that part over and done with. Plus she seemed really interesting and he was sure that there was more underneath her rough exterior.

"Thanks but no, I'd rather have the day to myself" I said curtly. I really don't want him to think that we're becoming friends of any kind. He seems nice enough but right now I don't have the time to be playing nice or thinking of excuses of why I'll be walking around clubs and bars if he was to come with me.

"Okay but if you change your mind, just let me know. Actually pass me your phone so you have my phone number in case you get lost or want some company" said Dylan eagerly. He had some plans of his own with a few friends but if she wanted to hang out with him, he would do it without hesitation; she was family and he'd be happy to help.

"Umm yeah sure, there you go" I handed him my phone. Might be useful to have his number, it's a whole new place so maybe after I get tired he can drive me home. "Alright I'm off, thanks for the coffee Dyl" I said making my way to the front door.

"No problem and if you need anything just give me a call" Dylan shouted after her, still sipping on his coffee. How did she finish her coffee so fast?

I made my way out of the front door and headed to the end of the driveway. Now, should I got left or right? I mean I could get maps on my phone but where's the fun in that? I decided to go left and started my walk down the road. After about 10 minutes of walking I was disappointed of how nice this neighbourhood was. How was I supposed to find a dealer in a place like this? I guess this was my fault, who deals in the middle of the day? But New York is alive 24 hours a day, whereas here it seems like the hell raisers don't come out until later at night.

I walked a little further and saw some flashing lights in the distance. Hoping it is what I've been looking for, I saw a group of girls and boys standing around outside a bleak building. Some of the windows were smashed, the paint was peeling off and there were police cars outside. Definitely looked like a scene I shouldn't get mixed up in, doing what I was doing, but I couldn't help myself. I walked closer and examined the scene.

Two police officers were starting to put police tape around the scene where the group of people were stood in a close circle, talking about something I couldn't quite make out. Another police officer was talking through the radio in the police car, talking in codes which I did not understand.

I stood on the other side of the road, just across from the situation. I stood close to the group I saw earlier and overheard some of their conversation.

"Guess we need to find a new hangout place" said a girl with wildly curly hair and lovely bronzed skin. She looked like she has never left the sun to be honest. She was wearing some denim shorts, white crop top and an oversized red checkered shirt over the top.

"Yeah Daniel really messed up this time" replied a guy with long dreads that reached his waist line. I sometimes thought about getting dreads done but I always chickened out about it. My hair was maintenance enough with the frizzy curls I had.

I stopped listening to the group's conversation and focused back on the scene in front of me. Police officers were slowly coming out of the building, and the last police officer had a guy walking in front of him with his hands cuffed behind his back. The guy looked no older than 40 and had wide, black eyes. His beard was relatively long and bushy, and he was wearing a pair of black joggers and an over worn t-shirt with a band logo at the front.

The moment he walked outside, his eyes found mine. He seemed to study me intensely, his black eyes looking deeply into mine. Looked like he was questioning me, judging me almost, for what I had no idea. I wasn't any better as I couldn't look away from him either, wondering what he did and what happened in that building.

The group next to me mentioned something about it being a hangout place... was it an abandoned building that they claimed for themselves? Or was there more happening behind closed doors?

Once the police have settled the guy in the back seat of the police car, they sped away to what I assumed was the police station. With nothing more to see, I started walking away from the scene, suddenly remembering what I left the house for.

________________________________

After a few hours of walking around, I was just about ready to give up. I've been walking around for what seems like forever and there has been no sign of dealers anywhere in this godforsaken city.

That is until I turned yet another corner and saw a guy standing underneath a street lamp, who was what seemed like exchanging something with another man. I could see them switching cash with a baggie which had to be containing some sort of drug. The other man quickly walked away after the switch and didn't even look back, acting as a regular pedestrian.

Okay so this is my chance. I slowly walked up to the guy underneath the street lamp and I took my slow walk as a chance to examine him closer. He was wearing a pair of black ripped jeans, a hoodie which was covering most of his face and a pair of black biker boots. From what I could see of his face, he had a slight stubble and a slightly crooked nose.

"Hey there sweet cheeks, how may I be of service?" He said with a sarcastic tone once he saw me heading his way. I could tell that he wasn't expecting me to reply at all, but rather to be running away from someone like him. Boy was he wrong.

"Hey actually I'm looking for a hit of heroin if you've got that on you" I replied, whilst finally having a good look of his face. He had brown eyes with bags underneath them, slightly hollow cheeks and just like I saw before, a slightly crooked nose. I'm guessing he got into a fair amount of fights to get this nose.

He smiled at my response, looking me up and down, not quite sure whether he should believe the girl standing in front of him.

"You don't look like the type sweet cheeks. You sure you don't want something a little bit lighter? I can get you some weed?" He offered, crossing his arms.

"I'm sure, now are you a dealer or my mother? Have you got some on you or do I need to find someone else?" I said, getting frustrated. I'm so close to finally getting a hit and my body could feel that.

"Yeah sure, how much you want sweet cheeks?"

"5 grams will do. How much is it?"

"$350" said the man whilst getting the baggie from inside his hoodie. I reached for my backpack and pulled out the necessary cash. We did a quick swap and relief flooded through my veins at the feel of the plastic bag in my palm. I quickly shoved it into my jeans pocket and started to walk away from the man.

"Hey if you need anything else, you know where to find me sweet cheeks" he said after me. I sure did know where to find him.

After walking for a few minutes, I ended up outside a coffee shop. I decided to pull out my phone and drop Dylan a text, telling him where I am and asking if he could pick me up.

I didn't want to walk all the way home, I needed to get back as fast as possible and have that hit my body has been craving for the last 24 hours.

I could feel the weight of the baggie in my pocket, reminding me of its presence and how it can make me feel.

My phone pinged with a text from Dylan, saying he'll be here to pick me up soon. I decided to wait inside instead of looking like a weirdo outside.

I stepped inside the cosy cafe, and first thing I noticed was the bright sign above the coffee machines and near the menu on the wall which said 'Morning Drug'. Aah yes, my second favourite drug, I thought to myself with a smile on my face. My humour was a weird one, get used to it.

I went up to the counter and ordered another latte, my second one of the day and took a seat on a high chair, with a floor to ceiling windows in front of me which allowed to to see everything that was happening outside. I absolutely loved people watching, it was one of my hobbies.

Not long after, I heard a bell ring out meaning that someone has just entered the cafe. I didn't pay too much attention though, too busy making up stories for the people I've been seeing passing by on the street outside. I was just thinking about the 35 or so year old man who was riding a bike, who I thought fit the role of a misunderstood artist perfectly.

Someone cleared their throat behind me, making me turn and see wide chocolate brown eyes looking at me.

"Excuse me, I was just wondering if the seat next to you is taken?" He said, swiping his curly hair from his forehead and giving me a smile with his perfectly straight, white teeth.

"No but there's plenty of seats that also aren't taken and are not next to me, so go wild" I said, looking at him with a fake sweet smile.

"Yes that's true but as you probably know, this is the best seat right near those windows. The pretty girl sitting here also helps" he replied cheekily, whilst giving me a wink. Oh god was that a cheesy pick up line or what?

"Wow is that the best you can come up with? You've got to have something better than than" I now turned fully to face him, interested in what he'll say. He had a darker skin tone, making me think that he's not 100% Caucasian, maybe some part Persian? I wasn't sure. He had a small dimple on his left cheek and and a stubble grazing his face.

"Okay okay how about this? Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?" He said, making me chuckle.

"Okay I'll give you that one. So you want that kiss then?" I said, teasing him a little bit. I stood up from my stool, noticing our massive height difference. Yes he was very tall, looked like he was around 6ft2 compared to my 5ft3 frame.

"Seriously?" He asked, shocked at my offer. "I'll take it" he added, leaning his face down towards me whilst giving me a mischievous smile. I could smell his cologne, which wasn't strong like most guys wear, it was subtle but mouthwatering. It was a mixture of musk, wood and citrus, and it was addicting. I took a deep inhale of his scent, making me shiver slightly. I could hear his breath hitch as he came closer to my face, looking into my eyes and putting his hand on my waist. This guy did not waste any time did he? His face had a slight smile on his face, not quite believing what was about to happen.

As I was leaning up closer to his full, plump lips and started to close my eyes getting ready to give him that kiss I promised, I heard a car honking 3 times.

We jumped apart, surprised at the sound and the trance we were in broke. I finally realised what I was doing. What was I doing? I don't know this guy and here I was about to kiss him. I need to snap out of it and fast.

I looked through the window and saw Dylan waving at me through the windshield.

I turned to the nameless guy in front of me and sheepishly smiled. That's weird, I'm never sheepish.

"Okay so I'm off, see you around" and without waiting for his answer, I grabbed my backpack and sprinted out of the coffee shop and to Dylan's car. I think the nameless guy was shouting something after me but I couldn't make out what he was saying.

"Hey Amber everything okay?" Asked Dylan once I settled into my seat.

"Yes can we please go?" I asked, desperate to get out of here and forget what I was just about to do.

"Yeah sure" said Dylan, and although he sounded confused, he started the car and we left the Morning Drug cafe behind us.

As soon as we got home, I claimed to not be feeling well and made my way to my room. I locked my bedroom door behind me to make sure no one would come in uninvited. I found the baggie that's been in my jeans pocket and held it up, towards the light coming through my bedroom windows. It looked so beautiful.

Without hesitation, I climbed the stairs that were leading to the attic which was located above my room. Yes, a great place to take a hit I've been craving.

The attic was dusty and there was so much stuff up here; boxes, old toys and games, some badminton and tennis rackets and so much more. Nonetheless, it was a great place to get away from everyone and not be seen by anyone. I brought my syringe and baggie with me, putting the needle inside the bag, making sure I don't pierce the actual bag, which wouldn't be smart, and loaded the syringe with a gram of heroin. I tapped the syringe to make sure there were no air bubbles in there. Next I prepared my arm, tying a knot just above my elbow, making sure it's relatively tight and then grabbed the prepared syringe.

I inserted the syringe into one of my veins that was showing on the crease of my elbow, injecting the heroin into it. I felt the euphoria straight away, feeling lighter and emptier. I felt like I could finally fully breathe. I laid down on the dusty wooden floor of the attic and closed my eyes. Behind closed eyes, I felt the wooziness kicking in, like I was floating in open air, like I was flying through the sky. From head to toe I felt limp,

I felt relaxed

I felt free.

Oh dear, Amber just couldn't help herself could she?

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Until next time xx