- ALEXANDERS POV -
I don't even register what happened after Eliza's heart stopped. I felt so numb. I heard myself scream and saw doctors running in with something to restart her heart. A nurse shoved us all out of the room where we're met with very out of breath John and Herc.

"It's too late." I hear Peggy sob. John hugs her and kisses the top of her head. Maria is in Angelica's arms, and Herc is hugging Thomas. Vaguely I notice Lafayette come near me. I think he hugs me, but I don't really feel it. I hear yelling from the inside of Eliza's room. The same nurse that punches us away comes back with the smallest smile on her face.

"She's alive and stable. Nobody can see her for a few days while she recovers and builds up her immunities a little bit. But she'll be ok." We pause our crying for a second to start screaming of happiness. Then we cry again, because Eliza would be ok! God, I don't know what I would have done without her.

Everyone leaves the hospital as there's no point in staying: we aren't allowed in Eliza's room for 3 more days. Nobody wants to be alone, so we stay at Angie and Eliza's dorm. It's weird not having her here. We sit together and tell stories about all the things we've done with her.

"Remember the time, Alex, John, Laf and I got drunk in 11th grade, and Eliza drove us home and made us do all her laundry the next 2 weeks because all of us threw up all over her car and house?" Herc said, and we all laugh and nod. That night was crazy. We had fake ID's and everything. Eliza was pissed that we snuck out to drink, and she made sure we knew it.

"Or that time right before finals senior year, she brought us all snacks and juice like a, how you say, ah! Soccer mom!" Laf says, and the laughing starts again.

"Betsey really is a true soccer mom. Just you wait." Angelica says, wiping tears from laughter and sadness out of her eyes. We get in a group hug on the floor for what seems like the hundredth time. Every time somebody starts to cry, we do a group hug. There have been many a group hug because of me. I haven't said a word since before Eliza's heat stopped. I can tell everyone's worried. I want to speak, but the words just... don't come out. I can't bring myself to. Everyone but Thomas and I have decided to ditch school tomorrow. Thomas and I were ready "off" so we didn't even participate in that conversation.

I have therapy tomorrow. I'm anxious about it. What if I still can't speak? What if something happens again? What if I have a flashback and just break down? No, I can't afford to think like this. Thomas'll be there, it's going to be ok. I hope.

"Alex, are you alright?" Maria asks for the fifth time. I shake my head no and smile sadly.

"Can you speak?" She sounds confused, and looks it even more when I shake my head no again. She nods and tells me to hold on. She reappears a few seconds later with a pen and paper.

"Do you know why you can't speak?" She asks, and I write:

I think. When my dad left, my brother disappeared, my mother died, and my cousin killed himself, I just lost the ability to talk for a while. It might be because of traumatic experiences.

I set the pen down to signalize that I'm finished writing. Maria reads it and hugs me. It seemed like everyone was hugging me out of pity. I sort of liked the hugs though. It made me feel like I actually was wanted. I imagine what would happen if it was me instead of Eliza tonight, after another suicide attempt. I didn't notice Maria talking until she tapped on my shoulder.

"I heard you have to go to therapy tomorrow afternoon. Will you be okay?" I pick up the pen again.

Yeah, I should be. Thomas will be there the whole time, and it's only the first session. Don't worry, Maria.

I give her a smile to try and prove I'm fine. She doesn't look like she's buying it all that much.

"If you say so, Alex. We love you." She hugs me and I nod, as if to say that I love each of them too. We turn our focus back to the group, who are still telling stories about Eliza.

"How about that time she got suspended for 2 weeks because she punched a kid in the face for being mean to Alex?" Angelica says, beaming at Eliza's "badass" side. I smile a little, remembering that day:

Aaron Burr had been calling me a bastard. He wouldn't leave me alone. He kept saying how I didn't belong in New York, I was just a kiss up immigrant. Eliza walked over near the end, and he had hit me in the shoulder, quite hard. It was painful. Right before he walked away, he called me a bitchy little whores son, and Eliza lost it. She punched him straight in the nose. It was bleeding everywhere, and I vaguely remember teachers saying it was broken. I was so proud of Eliza. I remember hugging her so tight, thanking her over and over until the principal stormed in and dragged her to the office.

I snap out of my flashback and see everyone awwing. Peggy and John are asleep on the couch together, somehow oblivious to all our noise. Johns legs were wrapped around Peggy's, as were his arms. Peggy was tucked up against him. I smiled at the adorableness of it. Even in the worst times, happiness is still there.

"G'night Pegs. Night John." I hear Angelica whisper with a smile. She waves at us and walks to her bedroom. It's only 9:30, but we're all exhausted. Laf and Herc go to Eliza's room, bidding us goodnight as well. Maria motions for Thomas and I to lay on the couch. There's a stack of pillows and blankets on the ground.

"I'll sleep here, it's fine." She says, motioning to the stack on the ground.

"Are you sure, Mar? I can--" Thomas begins.

"No, Thomas. You and Alex can sleep on that couch. I'll be fine, promise." She tells him with a smile. We know it's useless to try and fight with her, so we agree and climb onto the couch. Thomas wraps me in a blanket and kisses my forehead gently. He smiles at me sadly, and pulls a blanket over himself as well. I lay my head in his lap and drift off to sleep.

*time skip to 10am the next morning*

I rub the sleep from my eyes and smell sausage. I sit up and see everyone around the table, waiting for food. Thomas comes to them and puts eggs and sausage on each plate, smiling at me.

"Morning, love. We just got a call, we can see Eliza for half an hour at 1." I smile and nod, not knowing if I can speak yet. I try anyways when Herc asks if I can.

"I- I gue-ss s-so, now." I say. My voice sounds terrible. It feels like sandpaper rubbing against the inside of my throat. My words are choppy and odd sounding. I try again.

"B-but, anyw-ways, good morn-ning, guys." My voice sounds a little better now. I take a sip of orange juice to see if it'll help.

"Is Eliza o-okay?" Angelica nods.

"She'll be fine. Like Thomas said, we can see her at 1 for half an hour. I know you have therapy today, as well?" I nod and she rubs my arm a little, giving me condolences. I smile at her then look at Peggy.

"S-so, Peggy, John. A-anything you wanna tell us?" I ask. Both flush a deep red, and look at each other for a second. Peggy nods ever so slightly. I'm confused.

"John and I... are SoulMates. We found out at the hospital yesterday. We wanted to wait for Eliza but..." Peggy says, taking Johns hand with a smile.

"Oh my God, yes! But now I'm the only one SoulMateless. But, congratulations Peggy and John!" Angelica cheered, jumping up, almost like Peggy did when we announced Thomas and I were SoulMates. I'm happy for them. Two of my best friends are SoulMates! I can hardly believe it. It's nearly impossible for a group of friends to divide into SoulMates after they've already met. We eat and tell more stories. These past few days have been very nostalgic in light of everything that's happened.

After breakfast we get ready to go visit Eliza. We know she might not even be awake, but we're excited anyways. We've decided to go in pairs: Thomas and I, Angie and Maria, Peggy and John, and Herc and Laf. By the time we're all dressed and ready, my voice is finally back. I'm happy: if she is awake I can talk to her about everything. Thomas kisses me and I kiss back happily. We all walk out to our cars. I climb in the front seat, Peggy and John are in the back, and Thomas is driving. The others are in Angie's car.

We arrive at the hospital 12:45, so we go to the Starbucks there and get coffees. By the time we're done, it's 12:55, so we walk to the 3rd floor where Eliza's room is. Angelica and Maria walk in and stay with her for about 5 minutes. I tell Peggy and John to go next, since it is her sister, and she just found her SoulMate. Again, 5 minutes pass and Thomas and I step in. He moves out of the way and I gasp when I see Eliza, sitting up, eyes open and smiling. Tears fill my eyes and threaten to spill over.

"Don't cry, Alexander, it's ok. I'm fine." She smiles wider and winces a little. The tears are let loose at seeing her in pain. This woman was like a sister to me, it killed me to see this side of her.

"Love, shes ok. It's ok." Thomas rubs my back.

"Eliza.." I say, having trouble forming the right words.

"I can leave you alone if you want?" Thomas asks. I shake my head.

"No, you have every right to be here... I just... there's so much to say and not enough time and I... I'm sorry." I wipe my tears off my cheeks and smile.

"Alexander, please, what's wrong?" Eliza begged.

"I'm going to therapy in less than an hour," I begin.

"That's great!" She says. I continue.

"But it's all getting worse. And... I'm suicidal again." Eliza gasps and uses her non broken hand to cover her mouth.

"I'm so sorry!" Her eyes are welling with tears. No! I didn't want to make her cry!

"No! It isn't your fault! It's just... life's hard right now. But I'll be fine." I lean over and kiss Thomas quickly, and Eliza smiles a little bit.

"Alright. But please, please tell me if anything happens or changes or anything. Please." She says, grabbing my hands. I nod and kiss her forehead in a brotherly way.

"I'll send in Herc and Laf, ok?" I say after she lets go of my hand. She nods.

"I love you Alex. And you too, Thomas. Thank you." She says genuinely.

"Love you too Liza." Thomas and I say at the same time. He looks at me and kisses me, smiling. I wave at her and walk out.

"Ok, you guys can go in." We say to the guys and they head in. I hear laughter after a few minutes. They walk out, wiping happy tears out of their eyes. We hug them and a nurse comes over and smiles, telling us that visiting time is over and that we can come back at the same time tomorrow.

We leave and go to lunch at a fast food restaurant down the street before I have therapy. I can feel my anxiety building up, but I shove it down and get thorough my meal. But soon enough, it's 1:50 pm and we have to go to therapy.

AUTHORS NOTE: Hi!!! So, Eliza isn't dead. I was originally going to kill her off but I couldn't do it since she effects the storyline so much. Next chapter will be Alex's POV and Thomas's POV and it'll be Therapy Session #1. Get excited!! Things are finally getting real. Well, after last chapter they are. Thank you so much for reading!! 💕
Word Count: 2138 words