To say Klaus and I drank too much would be an understatement.

At the convenience store, I managed to distract the cashier while Klaus raided the liquor section. We received suspicious looks, though. I mean, we were two kids out at 10 pm in school uniforms. But even with these looks, we escaped without anyone releasing the mini heist we had just done.

Klaus was right; I needed to have another outlet, and we both needed this. Yes, it was reckless, but that's what we both liked about it. The fact that we were doing something we weren't supposed to do and that we were doing it with each other made it better.

We reached a park and settled by a seat near a water fountain. Klaus had obtained two bottles of vodka, which seemed to be the fancy kind. He noticed me examining the large bottle and smiled.

"Yeah, looks expensive, right? Want to guess how much?" He proceeded to open his bottle and smelt its contents. I followed and wrinkled my nose at the bitter smell.

"I'm going to guess... £14?" Klaus laughed at my answer, and soon enough, I realised my mistake. Even though I had lived in America for a while now, I still spoke in British terms.

"Oh, little Charlotte! Still not used to our ways." I slapped his arm lightly.

"Hey! I'm trying, okay? It's a habit I'll probably never get out of." I laughed softly, looking back at the bottle in my hand. Klaus sighed and turned to face me slightly.

"It makes you unique," he paused. "Well, to new habits," he spoke and lifted his bottle slightly to give a small cheer. A small smile crept onto my face. I lifted my bottle to his, and it made a soft clink noise.

"To new habits." We both started to drink from our bottles, and the burning sensation trickled down my throat. I scrunched my face in disgust but continued, hoping that the vodka would act as a memory eraser. Dad had pushed me too far, the nightmares were getting out of control, and the way I had to hide my pain behind a smile was starting to eat me alive.

At first, the alcohol didn't hit me; everything felt normal. I turned to look at Klaus, seeing that we had drank about the same amount.

"You feeling anything?" I asked, putting all my attention on Klaus. He shook his head and looked down at the bottle.

"Nothing new, I can still see... well, I think someone's grandma." He pointed to an empty bench. I couldn't help but furrow my eyebrows slightly.

"Well, this got depressing really quickly," I couldn't help but joke. Klaus smiled and chuckled.

"Hmm, well, I can always count on you to make me laugh." He started to twist the bottle in his hands, looking at the bottle in detail.

"Care to speed things up?" Klaus lifted an eyebrow. He always knew how to make things interesting. I put the bottle back up to my lips and started to drink again. As Klaus followed, we both were in silent competition to see who could finish their bottle first.

As the last drop of alcohol trickled down my throat, I raised my bottle in the air as a sign of victory.

"Aha! Victory shall be mine!" I cheered, disturbing the quiet peace in the air. Klaus slumped back onto the bench with a look of defeat in his eyes.

"Mark my words, Charlotte, I will have my come-come back!" Klaus started to slur his words slightly, the effects of the alcohol already taking place. I couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"Wow, Klaus, you are such a lightweight!" I could feel my cheeks growing hot, and my head started feeling light.

If this is tipsy for me, then it's such a relaxing state!

As the night continued, Klaus and I started to talk absolute nonsense. We both sensed that our worries began to slip away, a sense of freedom overtaking our minds. It was around 1 am when we started to make our way back to the alleyway behind the

Klaus started doing impressions of Dad, which were scarily accurate.

"Ah, Number 8, I see you can handle your drink well."

"Klaus! Sshh, we are going to wake the others up!" I laughed a little before turning my voice into a whisper, trying to keep my laugh in.

After I helped Klaus get into his room without hurting himself, I made my way to the fire escape and started to climb. I was still quite tipsy, but this didn't dampen my senses. I managed to get back into my room in one piece and made my way towards the bed, the feeling of tiredness washing over me.

Luckily, I had managed to handle my alcohol well, but for Klaus, that was a different story. He seemed off in a way that no one, not even me, could put a finger on.

I wanted to reach out to him to see if he needed to talk, but I wasn't doing well myself. To the others, I seemed fine; I was able to keep up my appearance, but behind closed doors, it was a different story. Almost every night, I had problems sleeping; the nightmares were just too much to take.

Unfortunately, this was something I couldn't hide from Dad. He picked up on some unusual brain activity when analysing our brains during sleep, but instead of putting my welfare first and seeing that it was his awful special training making me this way, he decided to ignore this and make Mum give me sleeping pills.

These made me feel drowsy, but I couldn't let the others know; I didn't want them to look at me differently. But I could tell the energy it took to keep up appearances was draining me more than I thought.

It was the day before New Year's Eve, and luckily for me, Dad was too busy with other matters to concentrate on my special training. I decided to spend the day focusing on my combat skills with Pogo, who also was helping me to learn Latin. Even though Dad had given us freedom with what we wanted to learn, Pogo had other plans. He would often give us topics to research and deadlines for assignments, which I think was a good idea, even though, at times, I couldn't stand the work we were doing.

As the day drew to a close and we were all dismissed from dinner, I went to my room and decided to shower before bed. I still hadn't recovered from the drowning incident, so it took me a while to brace myself before allowing the water to touch me. I leaned against the sink, my face staring into the plug hole.

Oh, come on, it's only a bit of water, so don't be pathetic!

My mind wandered off to the other night with Klaus and how I felt my worries slip away. I didn't know about Klaus, but I needed to feel that release again. I tried to think of other ways I could fulfil this deep need for a release from my mind, I knew I couldn't drink all the time, and I definitely wasn't into doing drugs, so what else could I do?

After 5 minutes of bracing myself and thinking, I hopped into the shower, forcing myself to stop shaking. I started to cry silently, allowing the tears from my eyes to merge with the water from the shower. I hated that a simple day-to-day task had me reacting this way, and it was all down to Dad's stupid special training.

A few minutes later, I was finished washing my hair, scrambled out of the shower, and reached for my towel. As I wrapped my towel around my body, I held onto my shoulders in an attempt to hug myself and coach myself out of shaking.

You're so pathetic! Can you really call yourself a member of the Umbrella Academy when you react like this after a shower?

I started having negative thoughts, and I tightly closed my eyes, wishing they would just go away.

You'll always be an outsider, a latecomer. The team will never truly accept you.

My eyes shot open, and I started looking around the room to see if there was anything I could use to distract myself.

That's when my eyes laid upon my razer. That's when an idea hit me; what would it feel like to intentionally hurt myself? No fighting, no conflict, just me deliberately wanting to inflict pain on myself...

Go on, do it. You know you want to.

I tried to overcome the feeling of wanting to harm myself, but my body was on autopilot. I reached for a new blade that was in the cabinet behind the mirror. The blade was ice cold; I couldn't take my eyes off it as I moved it between my fingers.

A small part of me knew what I was about to do was wrong, but another part of me didn't care. I would only do this once. This wouldn't be a recurring thing.

My hands were still shaking as I made my first cut on my arm.

"Ssss, ouch..." I whispered as the pain that travelled up my arm was entirely different from a combat scratch, but this didn't stop me. I didn't realise what I was doing until a knock at the door broke me away from my trance.

"Hey! Hurry up in there!" Five voice called out. I looked down at my arm; the blood was making its way down my arm and onto the floor. I frantically searched for the small first aid kit, hoping to find some medical tape. To my luck, there was plenty of tape and disinfectant spray.

Five knocked again.

"Oh, come on! What are you doing in there?" He shouted again. I quickly cleaned my arm and suppressed any noises; I didn't want Five or anyone to know what I had done.

"Yeah, just give me a few minutes, gosh! Or use another bathroom!" I shouted back, hoping he would take the hint and go away.

I had finally sorted out my arm and cleaned up any evidence, placing the blade in a roll of tissue and putting it in one of my pyjama pockets. I quickly did one look around the bathroom before opening the door.

Five was leaning on the wall opposite the door. His presence made me jump slightly. He took a step closer to me; his eyes held a look of suspicion.

"What were you doing in there?" He asked, his eyes never leaving mine. I furrowed my eyebrows, still keeping eye contact.

"I don't know what you mean? I was just taking a shower. Is that such a crime?" We stood there in silence for a few minutes; I could tell he was trying to detect if I was lying or not.

His face relaxed slightly, and he shrugged his shoulders slightly before talking.

"Okay, if you say so." Without another word, he brushed past me and entered the bathroom. I couldn't help but sigh in relief as I returned to my bedroom.

New Year's Eve, December 2002:

The familiar alarm rang through the halls of the Academy, and the footsteps of our Dad followed.

"Hurry up, children! We have a critical mission to attend to!" Dad's emotionless voice echoed down the hall. I stopped what I was doing and quickly changed into my uniform, trying to be careful with my arm. A few minutes later, Luther's voice called out to us.

"Come on, guys. We are meeting in the living room."

We swiftly moved towards the living room. I decided not to sit down but to stand behind the couch beside Klaus and Ben. Once we all arrived, Dad started to give us our mission.

"So children, today you will be infiltrating a gang, taking the opportunity of tonight's celebration to steal a powerful weapon called Umwerfend. Your goal is to protect this weapon and ensure the gang does not lay their hands on it. Any questions?" Dad looked at us with a blank expression.

"Yeah, actually, I have one," Klaus spoke up, "why do we have to act as security guards? What is everyone else on holiday?" Klaus started to slur his words slightly, and I knew what that meant; he had been drinking.

Although, he did have a point.

"Well, isn't obvious Number 4? The lack of security tonight means a higher chance of a successful heist, and if this weapon falls into the wrong hands, who knows what could happen! We shall also discuss your behaviour later Number 4!"

Klaus looked down at his feet; I could feel the embarrassment radiating off him.

"Right, if that is all, you are dismissed." With those parting words, we all headed towards the helicopter.

Five Fact: Five was awake when he heard Klaus and Charlotte come home from their night out, but he didn't have the energy to care and talk about it.

A/N: Well, Season 4 of the Umbrella Academy is out now, and I'm on my second rewatch of it! I won't say any spoilers but I don't know how to feel about it! I think the first watch of it is a lot to take in, but when you think it over for a few days things start to make sense! I'll probably wait another week to talk about it so I don't spoil it for those who haven't seen it!

More with the chapter, though, I felt like this was a particularly dark chapter, but it is crucial for the storyline. I know that there hasn't been much Five and Charlotte interaction, but good things come to those who wait!

QOTD: If you've watched Season 4 of TUA, who was your favourite character?

I would say for me, my top favourite was actually Diego! (Sorry Five 🥲)

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