June 15

Port Carling, Muskoka

Elle's laughter carries up the hill to me as Theo runs down towards town with her clinging to his back piggyback style.

Her ass looks incredible in the tight denim cutoff shorts she's wearing.

I shake myself out of following that particular train of thought. Down, boy. Stay on mission, repair your relationship by any means necessary, that doesn't necessarily include checking her out.

Her arms cling to Theo's neck, her legs around his waist, and he's running like a complete maniac, his own arms thrown wide open.

He covers his eyes with his hands, telling Elle to guide him, wiggling and shaking her a little when she tries to pry his hands off his face. "You idiot, we're about to cross the street, watch where you're going, or I'll jump off and let you get hit by a car."

I laugh to myself. Elle is so bossy, our little dictator.

Theo drops his hands from his eyes and looks back over his shoulder at her, grinning. He says something which leaves her laughing, but his voice is too soft for me to catch it.

Elle has barely left Theo's side today. He doesn't seem to find anything strange about that, but he keeps looking between the two of us, a confused expression on his face each time I get too close, too familiar and she steps towards him, or drags him further ahead to get some space between us.

When Theo pulled up at my dock to give Ry and me a lift to town, she'd visibly tensed. Her surprised look didn't go unnoticed. Nor did the uncertainty in her eyes. Fortunately, she's too damn polite to do or say anything. But, I know Ry and Theo can feel the tension between us.

It made me realize that she hasn't told him the reason behind our changed relationship, our unease with one another. It makes me wonder whether she's told, well anyone.

Even as Theo starts to laugh with her, at whatever it is that he'd said, he shifts his grip to grab her thighs, boosting her up higher to hook his elbows under her knees before continuing down the hill towards Steamboat Bay and the shops Elle's begged us to check out with her.

Just as well, it's Father's Day in only a few days away, so I plan to do my one shop of the summer this visit, anyway. I'm not even sure if my dad will be here for Father's Day, but I never know and don't want another reason to argue with him.

At any rate, Elle's got this list she's made for the summer of everything we need to do together, and of course, this is on the list.

I will never question the list. None of us will. Elle makes it every summer, and as wonderful friends, we help her tick them off. The tricky thing is, they're never only her bucket wishes. Her list means we all have to do it, or at least one of us has to do it with her.

A few times, we've ended up playing rock paper scissors to decide which poor, unfortunate soul will accompany her. It's why Theo has one nipple pierced, from when she dragged him with her last summer to get a second piercing in her left ear.

The best part was when Tess went back less than a week later to get her belly button pierced. Needless to say, it drove Theo crazy since he wouldn't have needed to go with Elle if Tess had agreed to in the first place. He's grown rather fond of the small bar he wears, though, and the chicks seem to dig it.

I snicker, remembering as if it were yesterday.

As much as we tease Elle, and each other, those lists she makes bring us closer together each year. Cementing our friendship by creating a massive foundation of shared memories, experiences, and general hilarity.

I haven't seen the list this year. She never shares it entirely in advance, only a few points at a time. It's diabolical. It's impossible to know if our options at the time are the best, or the worst of what she has in mind.

Two years ago, Elle added skinny dipping as a group on the May two-four weekend as one of our tasks. The water was like fifteen degrees celsius or something stupid like that.

All of us except Logan, Wes, and Steph did it, trying to earn credit at the moment for a future reprieve. It was so cold we raced to Hud's hot tub as soon as we were clear of the lake, yanking our bathing suits back on as we ran.

I still remember how we laughed like idiots for hours after, only to find out Brooke snapped a picture of all our bare asses on the dock before we jumped in. It went on our Christmas cards for the entire gang that year, which could mean any number of households in the greater Toronto area have seen all our naked asses.

Parental humiliation decked in boughs of holly? Check. It was one of the non-negotiable traditions we had: a Holiday Party and New Year's Eve. Sometimes we stayed home, sometimes we travelled, but we were always together.

Shaking my head at the memories her lists bring to the surface, I catch up to Elle and Theo. Ry's barely a step behind me. She's still clinging to him as they stand by the ice cream stand. He reaches behind her, snaking a twenty-dollar bill from her back pocket and paying for the four popsicles she's ordered.

He walks her over to us, hands and arms full, so I take one for Ry, then myself. Elle wiggles, releasing her stranglehold on Theo's neck, and he sets her butt down on the picnic table. That makes me laugh too since she's still shorter than all three of us, even standing on the bench.

I sit on the table, leaning in next to her, kicking my legs out and she sits beside me.

"You two coming to the party with us tonight?" Theo licks the side of his hand where the popsicle is already dripping, as it melts in the heat.

Elle freezes, but remains silent.

I can show her I can give her space. I can ease her stress, put her needs first. Before Ry can jump in, I shake my head. "No, not this time." Ry raises an eyebrow at me, but I glare at him, hoping he'll stay silent.

I don't miss the grateful look that flashes across Elle's face. She brushes her shoulder against mine. Hope flares in my chest at the typical Elle-like gesture. I choose to take it as a sign of thanks.

Pleased with myself for offering the first olive branch, encouraged by her response, I'm about to ask her about the list and what she has in store for the summer when I hear a high pitched voice shriek my name.

"Ohmygod! Grey!"

I cringe. I know that voice. What the actual fuck? Can't I catch a break?

I'd know it anywhere from the whiny, high pitched tone. This voice belongs to my chief regret from the past year. Groaning, I turn my head, meeting Ry's eyes briefly. He also cringes visibly.

"Shit." I don't want her coming here. I stand, leaving my popsicle with Ry, and hurry to meet her, trying to keep the maximum distance between her and my friends. Between her and Elle.

"Chiara," I don't ask how she is, hoping to discourage conversation.

Her fingers walk a path up my chest, and I grab her wrist, pushing her hand away from my body.

Chiara and I spent some time together through the school year, I'd taken her to one of the dances where I'd run into Elle. She'd looked through Elle, not even comprehending that the little blonde Sophomore could be a threat to her. How wrong she was. Is.

Chiara is tall and slender, and her hair is a white platinum bottle blonde. She's quite pretty, or she would be if she didn't fuss so much with her hair, her makeup. She's effectively added a fake barbie look to her skin and hair that might look good on paper, but not so much in reality. Not so much in the cold light of day, when you didn't have any alcohol in your system to take the edge off her bitchy personality. But we'd served a purpose for one another, for a time.

She moves to wrap herself around me, but I try to stop her, grabbing her arms before they close around me.

Alarm bells go off in my head at the thought of Elle watching our interaction.

Her pout intensifies, "I've missed you, Grey, come play with me."

Her whiny voice grates on my ears, and I can't remember what I'd been thinking, spending time with her. "I already told you we're done with all that." I'd told her weeks ago, but she's always had a selective memory and a penchant for twisting things to her favour.

"It's summer now, things are different. Nothing's ever serious in summer." Her tongue flicks out to stroke across her top lip slowly. What I once might have considered teasing, or sexy in a kind of raunchy way, now only looks obscene in the daylight, in public.

I frown at her. I want something serious this summer. I find my gaze wandering back to Elle, who's talking to Theo but glancing my way every few moments. I sigh, "I'm not interested, Chiara. Look, I'm here with my friends today, I can't keep them waiting."

"We were friends once, too, Grey. Very good friends. We can be again," she practically purrs at me, emphasizing the word very while stroking my chest again.

"We were never friends, Chiara. You know that. We were just convenient for one another. You were there. And I, well, I was a great fuck you to your step-dad. Let's face it."

"Maybe it started that way, Grey. But you know how good we were together, admit it."

I fight the urge to roll my eyes, pushing her hand aside. "I don't know how else to say this, Chiara. I'm not interested in revisiting that part of our...friendship. Go find yourself another playmate. I'll see you around."

She tosses her hair over her shoulder, pouting dramatically. Not wanting to play her games or discuss it further, I turn back to my friends.

I cringe when she shouts after me, "Don't think you can walk away from me after everything we've shared. If you leave now, it's over for good."

Fuck. I ignore her dramatic, exaggerated outburst, walking to Ry and grabbing my popsicle, "Ouch, man. She sank her claws into you good, this time."

I nod and look over at Elle. The curtain of her long hair hides her face, but I can tell her gaze is on Theo, who's sitting on the step below her as she sucks on her popsicle. I know she's trying not to look at me. I just wonder what I'd see there on her expressive face if she looked at me. Hurt? Confusion? Disinterest? Indifference? I don't know what's worse, seeing it, or imagining what she's feeling.

Why can't just one thing go according to plan? Then I realize I don't actually have a plan.

I don't have to wonder for long as she glances over my way, eyes wide, sad. I feel like I kicked a puppy. The hurt is clear as day, looking right back at me from her expressive, blue-grey eyes, but there's something else there that I can't quite place.

Ry grabs Theo and drags him ahead, muttering something about showing him the thing in that store. I try to talk to Elle, but I don't know what to say.

"Sorry, Elle." I rub the back of my neck awkwardly.

"Why should you be sorry? You don't owe me anything, least of all an apology." Her voice is entirely devoid of emotion.

I do owe her an apology, though. If not for Chiara, then for how I acted, at least when we went back to school. I guess I haven't exactly made anything clear to Elle about how I feel or think I feel at least. Or my desire to spend time with her this summer again.

Now or never. Stalling, I reach out to push the hair blowing across her face away, tucking it behind her ear. She jerks away from me as if I'd tried to slap her. Staring at me with a look of incredulity in her eyes now, one eyebrow raised. I put my hand in my pocket.

"I just don't want to give you the wrong idea, I guess. She's one of the Briar girls from the group of people I ran with this year, her name's Chiara, no one you'd know, or want to know for that matter."

"If she's so terrible, why did you spend time with her?"

Good question. Because I'm an unfeeling asshole. "I didn't really have my shit together last year. I did a lot of things I regret. What I regret most is how you and I left things."

"You and I didn't leave things anywhere, Greyson." She emphasizes the word 'I,' very clearly, continuing in a hushed voice, "You left and hit the off switch on the things between us, all on your own. Without so much as an explanation."

I continue to rub my neck with one hand, rocking back on my heels, not quite sure how I'm going to backpedal out of this beautiful mess I've made for myself.

"I'm sorry, Elle. For all of it. Look, now's definitely not the time, but I hope you'll let me explain one day soon, apologize for real."

"No one's stopping you, Greyson. When you're ready to actually talk about it, you know where to find me."

With that, she throws her popsicle stick in the trash then walks off after Theo, sliding under his arm, without looking back.

- - - 

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Xx Toria