August 17

Mainland, Lake Joseph, Muskoka

I find myself looking at my friends from my vantage point in the kitchen of Liam's cottage again. This time, they're sitting around the campfire. I feel these moments sliding through my fingertips and only wish I could hold on to them forever.

Shaking my sad thoughts away, I take the massive tray I'd built with Jacqueline out. We're having gourmet s'mores, and I have to admit, Jacqueline and I had gone totally overboard.

I tried to convince Liam's parents to join us, but they assured me they're happy drinking their wine and watching us from the porch.

Loud, boisterous cheers greet me as I set the tray down on the large table and hand out skewers for toasting the marshmallows.

"Pay attention, people, this is a s'mores buffet that's not to be missed. We've got different flavors of marshmallows, vanilla, strawberry, coconut, coffee, cookies, and cream. Then we've got your white, dark and milk chocolate and an assortment of cookies, from your classic graham to your decadent chocolate chip and everything in between."

Theo digs in immediately, making an elaborate show of selecting his flavors. Sam whispers to Liam who nods, and she slides off his lap to build s'mores for both of them. Sitting on the ledge of the large brick fire pit, I pass out ingredients as requested.

As I watch my friends, I can't help but smile.

Liam craves the outdoors and my boys are bringing it to him in excess. They paddle him around for hours and Liam sits there quietly, closing his eyes, shaded by the large brimmed fishing hat that Greyson makes him wear. He trails his fingers through the water contentedly, dictating the direction he wants to go, where he wants to explore.

We've toasted more marshmallows in the past twelve days since Liam got here than I've eaten in my entire life, but Liam loves them, loves sitting around the fire, and under the stars.

Tonight is no different. My fingers are already sticky, covered in melted marshmallow sugar coating and chocolate.

Hudson reaches over, offering me a bite of his creation, every single flavour of marshmallow and all three chocolates crammed between two chocolate chip cookies.

Grinning at him, I take a big bite; the chocolate smearing over my lips and melted marshmallow sticking to my lips as I try not to laugh too hard.

Hudson takes his treat away, claiming I'm too greedy, popping the rest into his mouth, smiling over at me. Greyson also laughs and pulls me from the bricks onto his lap. I love the new side to our relationship he's only just begun to show me.

All my awkwardness with him has faded and I gladly take any opportunity to stay in his arms. I've never felt so relaxed as I do with him after we explore one another. He's adamant there is absolutely no rush, that we can enjoy one another exactly as we have been for as long as we like. I even love it when he asks me to tell him how I feel about him, which he does nearly every night.

There's a part of me that longs to hear him say the words, but most of the time, I can put that part of me to the side, watching as he shows me he loves me with every touch, every kiss, every action. He's never been one for words, he might never be, I guess, so I take what I can, trying to remain happy with that.

When I finish the s'more I'd just constructed, my fingers are covered in gooey marshmallow and chocolate and I'm trying to see if I have any chocolate spread across my lips, as gracefully as possible, without touching my face and making it worse. I pucker up at Greyson who laughs then grabs me.

He holds me down across his lap with one arm, and, using his other hand, he takes my wrist, sucking on each of my sticky, sugary fingers one by one. I shriek with embarrassment and scramble to wiggle down, but he only laughs, holding me tighter.

When he's finished with my fingers, he moves his lips to mine, kissing the chocolate and sugar from them. His kisses are exaggerated, smackingly loud kisses, where he exclaims loudly over and over how he prefers the taste of the treats from my lips.

When I hear Liam's laughter, I smile up at Greyson. I watch as, emboldened by Greyson's ridiculous behaviour, Liam playfully follows his lead, kissing Sam until she's squealing with delighted laughter. It's such a happy sound, and I can tell Sam loves it. She's used to being the initiator in their more public displays of affection to put it mildly.

Ryan, not to be excluded, laughing like an idiot, gets up with a mischievous look in his eyes. Greyson drops me, only slightly unceremoniously, back into the chair beside his before standing, letting Ryan chase him with his own sticky fingers and chocolaty mouth puckered.

To the enjoyment and overall hilarity of the group, Greyson grabs Ryan, kissing his friend dramatically, smacking his lips together afterwards, exclaiming how delicious the chocolaty treat was. How delicious Ryan is.

Ryan blushes scarlet, grinning at Greyson with a bizarre look on his face. He laughs when Greyson shoves him highly, tossing an arm over his shoulder and my breath catches in my lungs to see him so carefree, so open with Ryan, one of the most affectionate people I've ever met. I can see what the gesture means to him from the slow smile that spreads across his face as he claps Greyson on the back, then shoves him back towards me.

Hudson and Theo are holding their sides as they laugh until tears run down their faces. Greyson drops back down into his chair and settles me back onto his lap.

The past evenings, Theo's taken to playing his guitar for us, and I'm so pleased he's decided to share this side of himself with the group. Music has been such a mixed gift for him, considering his dad's involvement in the industry, the expectation there has been tough for him to deal with, considering he only likes to play recreationally; even if he does have the talent for more.

Hudson shoots me a wink and I know he and Theo are off to start the fireworks we've brought with us, I snuggle closer to Greyson in anticipation of the fun show to come and check to make sure my camera is within arm's reach.

I have two large shoeboxes filled to the brim of Polaroids. I've looked through them nearly every single night, wracking my brain for any other memories I want to help my friends create together. For now, we have tonight.

Hudson has kept his promise, helping me plan the time we spend with Liam, helping me keep my head above water as I try to support my friends.

I hear a loud shout of excitement from the water's edge, just before an explosion of lights bursts in the sky. Hudson and Theo launch firework after firework, creating a kaleidoscope in the sky.

Sam climbs on to Liam's lap and cuddles close to him, whispering in his ear. I can't tell what she says but the heated look that passes between them makes me blush. I look away when I see Liam tip Sam's face down for a kiss, but decide to set aside my embarrassment to capture the moment on camera and when I check the screen, I'm glad I did.

I end up taking pictures of the s'mores, the fire, the fireworks, wandering down to Theo and Hudson who pose dramatically as they prepare to launch more fireworks. I grab the small box of sparklers from their stash and move back to my friends, handing some to Ryan, Sam, and Liam, then setting aside a few for Hudson and Theo before grabbing a few for Greyson and myself.

I set my mom's camera up on the tripod and set it to take automatic pictures every five seconds until I stop it manually.

"Everyone come here," I have a fun idea I want to test out. I light one test sparkler and dance in front of the camera for a few moments, flashing the sparkler around me until it fizzles out. I make a few adjustments to the shutter speed and turn the picture style to motor drive on a timer based on the results and give everyone instructions.

I light sparkler after sparkler and my friends dance in front of the camera. I swap in a new memory card once Theo and Hudson make their way back after tidying up from the show. Since Hudson and Ryan are about the same size, I ask them to stand behind Liam and Sam, making a heart design around them as they stand in front of the camera. It turns out brilliantly, Hudson and Ryan practically disappear into the dark background, Sam and Liam are just slightly out of focus and the bright lines of a heart glow in the camera around them like a frame.

We play around for a little while longer before I pull Greyson in front of the camera with me. I twirl around him quickly with the two sparklers, then press myself against him for a quick kiss. Smiling up into his face after. I'm already planning to make some hard cover albums for all my friends from this summer, to help cherish all the memories we've created.

When the sparklers are gone, and everyone has had a chance to pose for the camera, I shut it off and pull the now full second memory card from the slot, tucking it into the case so I can go over the footage later.

When Greyson pulls me back down onto his lap, I tuck my head under his chin and he wraps one arm tightly around me, his fingers moving to play with the gold chain I've worn nearly constantly, only taking it off to swim. I shiver, his light tough to the skin just above the low neckline of my sundress sending small electric frissons through me.

Looking around at the smiling faces of my friends, I imprint this picture into my memory. I kiss Greyson lightly, wrapping my arms around him and resting my cheek to his. Holding onto him, this moment for as long as I can.

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Let me know what you think so far, I'd love to hear from you in the comments. 

I love seeing the more playful side of Greyson make an appearance with his friends, I hope you do too!

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Xx Toria