July 26

Loon Call Island, Lake Rosseau, Muskoka

Sweat rolls down my face, and I swipe my arm over my forehead, clearing my vision as I sprint through the woods.

The pound of my heart, the tightness in my chest, the burn of my muscles feels good. I push myself harder, craving it.

Between work, Elle, spending time with my friends and Liam, I've neglected my training, and with only four weeks until the pre-season kicks off again, I need to focus.

At the end of the season after sophomore year Coach sat me down. He wanted me to give up playing at school, pushing me to make a change for the Ontario Hockey League, but I told him no. Again.

The rink is the only place I can leave it all on the bench. When I step out on the ice, nothing else matters. There is only one expectation of me: play a good game to beat the opposition.

Liam and I had been like a well-oiled machine. He was the best goalie I've ever played with, and he knew I'd defend the net. We cycled through several other D-Men, it never really mattered. Between Liam and I, no one had a chance.

But this year, I'm torn. It will be the first year in over a decade I don't step on the ice with Liam. Coach opened the door for me again at the end of Junior year, but with everything going on with Liam, I hadn't been up for it.

Now? I'm still not up for a new team, not now. I need to see the team through, since Liam was poised for the captain's position in our Senior year.

Not that I'll ever fill his shoes in the team, no one could. But after talking to him and Coach in June, we agreed that I'd step up. I've never had anyone depend on me before, it's just another weight on my shoulders for the fall. How can I lead a team, when my life is such a mess? I still haven't told anyone. Not even Elle.

Coach didn't fully understand my decisions, but despite my own doubt and apprehension, my mind is made up. I'm going to do it the right way, or not at all. Captain the team for Senior year, get into a decent school, hope I can get a scholarship so I can control my own future, and not be pushed by my dad over the financial obligation.

Plus, I won't be able to play hockey forever, and unlike so many others, I don't want to be some washed up meathead when my career ends. If I even get a shot.

Hell, I could get a shot, then get injured the first game out, that's just the way it goes.

So, my decision was final, for better or worse. School first, then hockey. I'd registered as a student athlete for the NCAA in Junior year, and I'd taken the SATs for the first time last year, which nearly crushed me, but I did okay. I might still retake them this autumn, we'll see what the guidance and admissions counselors say. Not that they care particularly, glorified administrative paper pushers, but they remain adamant at least that I'll be accepted to a division one school in Canada at the very least. But I'm holding out for the American schools.

Just another thing for me to worry about and the uncertainty is eating at me. All I want is to have the freedom to make my own choices.

Dad is clearly disappointed in my decision, as he is with most of my decisions when they're not the same as his. He thinks I should leave school, take my shot at going pro, then worry about college if I don't cut it. He's made it perfectly clear what he thinks of my academic prospects. According to him, I don't have any. He's full tilt on the sports getting me through.

Mom supports my decision though, and the quiet pride I see in her eyes is all the validation I need.

It's been a long time since I've seen that look in her eyes. It's been a long time since I've wanted to put that look there. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only thing uniting my parents, and with every step I take on my own, they seem to drift further apart. Especially when I make decisions that only pleases one of them which is all I seem to be able to do.

Pounding back towards the cottage, my lungs burning, I loop around, slowing to a jog as I head down to the dock, skidding the last feet down on the loose stones. Fuck do I need a swim.

Kicking my shoes and socks off, I dive into the water in my gym shorts. The cool water feels incredible on my hot skin.

Surfacing, I shove my hair away from my face, then begin to swim, cutting through the water with long, strong strokes towards Theo's place.

Five kilometer run, two kilometer swim, then weights. Its arms, chest and back day today, plus a little stick practice if I can convince Hud.

My lungs burn, so I switch up my breathing, turning my head to the side with every third stroke instead of every fourth.

Pulling myself up onto T's dock, I immediately dive back in kicking hard, slicing through the water at a steady pace, following the shoreline back to my dock, pushing myself.

A splash pulls my attention towards Elle's boathouse, but I don't see anything, so I continue my swim, pushing myself harder, faster.

I'd stopped by her dock yesterday to find her passed out on the lounger, her book splayed haphazardly on the ground beside her, like it had fallen from her exhausted fingertips. I hadn't wanted to wake her, so I'd muscled the enormous umbrella over to create some shade for her, then watched her sleep for a while before swimming back to my place. Even though we hadn't spoken, I'd felt calmer.

Moments later, I feel a small, slippery hand on my ankle, a quick squeeze, then release. I jolt, surfacing abruptly, losing my momentum. She doesn't slow down, or stop, but I do see her smile as her head tips to the side for air when she swims by me.

Soon, she's pulling ahead, an unfair fight since she's fresh into the water, and I've already got over a kilometer under my belt, plus my run, but I humor her, pushing even harder as we race.

I slap the dock inches ahead of her. "Knew you had more to give, you were lagging out there."

Dipping my head back in the water, I can't help but laugh. "Ah, so that was for my benefit?"

Her twinkling smile reaches all the way into her eyes, humor dancing there as she winds her arms around my neck, kissing me softly before nuzzling her face into my neck. "Of course."

Sliding free of her grasp, pulling myself up onto the dock with a final surge of energy, I reach down for her, taking her wrist in my hand and hauling her up after me until her hip rests on the ledge.

"I've got a bit left on my workout, want to join?"

Her skeptical, delicately raised eyebrow makes me laugh. "What kind of workout?"

"You can do whatever you want, I need to hit the weights for a bit. Maybe we can head to Hud's later? Wanted to do a little one-on-one, stick drills, that kind of thing... need a buddy to do it with."

"I can do some of that with you, if you like."

I look over at her, surprised. "Do you even know how to play hockey?"

"What, because I'm a girl?" Her offended expression makes me bite my cheek, resisting the urge to laugh.

I know better than to assume girls are any less than the boys at sports. Hell, my sister is heading to college on a partial varsity volleyball scholarship.

"No, the girls' hockey teams at Briar and Beaton are amazing. Because you're you."

I can tell she's somewhat mollified by my answer, but the light glinting in her eyes is one of challenge.

"I'll have you know Wes, Hudson and Logan all fight for me on their mini sticks team." Her pout is absolutely adorable. "Plus, with Dad and Wes so into it, it's not like I can escape it. I'm okay with one-on-one and basic stick drills on the road, it's just when you add skates into the mix, things generally go downhill."

"Cool. We can give it a shot, but I still want to practice with Hud too, no offense or anything."

Her smile is brilliant. "Do you have a stick I can use?"

After setting her up with an old stick, I set a few tennis balls loose onto the large, flat expanse of the boathouse roof, and the game is on.

She surprises me with her agility, even if her stick work is a bit rusty, and I'm almost ashamed to admit she gets the best of me twice, as I'm distracted by the way her body twists and turns in the skimpy bikini she's wearing.

"What kind of D-man are you, Greyson? Letting a sweet little thing like me slip by?" Her soft laughter dances over me, and I know she knows exactly what she's doing to me.

I grin back at her, "Gloves are off, then, is that how you want to play?"

"Bring it on, big guy."

I love this playful side of her, it's been awhile since she let it show with me. I wonder what's brought it out today. Her concern, her fears, her worry have made her seem so serious this summer. I've missed this playful version of her, the version of her I see shine more easily with Hud and Theo.

This time, I don't hold back; she matches me, not in skill, but in her quick responses, the way she reads how I telegraph my next moves, blocking me. She'd make a hell of a defender herself, although she can't skate for shit.

After forty minutes, I'm ready to wrap up our impromptu rooftop shinny session. We've both had to go swimming for tennis balls at one point in time during the match, and I want to finish my workout.

I feint, using my body to falsely telegraph my next move, then shift at the last moment, ripping past her. Cheering for myself, arms in the air, I jog around her in celebration.

She leaps onto my back, kissing my cheek. "What's next? That took it all out of me."

I'm barely winded, so I'm gratified by her comment, at least. "Chest, back, arms. I've got a few sets of exercises lined up."

"I'm just going to watch, my arms and back are killing from scrubbing boats this morning."

I pinch her bicep, surprisingly strong, and firm. "You'll be buff by the end of the summer."

"I'm already buff, thank you very much." She flexes her arm under my fingers and I nod, impressed.

"You get these muscles from all that bendy flexy stuff you do?" I shift her up and around, so she's facing me, arms around my neck, legs around my waist. I band one arm under her ass to support her weight as I walk towards the small weight room I set up in the boathouse.

She rolls her eyes at me, "Some of them, sure. Yoga and Pilates are excellent for your conditioning, core strength and muscle control." Her prim voice makes me smile, she sounds like she swallowed a textbook on the subject. "Plus, I'm still riding, though not as regularly this summer, but that will change in the fall, and rowing starts in early September, so does tennis."

"You going to keep going on all those teams again this year?"

"I'm actually considering dropping the tennis thing, swimming over the winter too, I'd like a little more time for school, for Kuna, maybe a little more free time as well, to spend with a special someone."

"Oh yeah? Think I can get in on some of that extra free time?" I drop her down onto the weight bench, leaning forward to kiss her. Even though I want to linger over her, I pull back, selecting my weights and dropping them beside me on the mat.

"Well sure, if you like."

I kiss her again, hard and fast. "I would like. Very, very much. Sharpie me into that schedule of yours, babe."

While she sits cross-legged on the bench, watching me, I move through the familiar exercises. After half an hour or so, I drop down to finish with burpees and pushups. Burpees are the fucking worst, so I always end up leaving them for close to the end.

I blast through them, flopping down on the mat after I've done my two sets of twenty-five.

"All done?"

"Not quite. Two sets of push-ups left. Do me a favour?"

"Sure."

"Stretch out on top of me, I could use the extra weight."

Her jaw drops, "Seriously? You want to add another hundred and twenty pounds to your push-ups?"

I nod, motioning for her to get a move on. I already told her when we were climbing that I lift and press more than her weight.

She lifts herself over me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders, and crossing her legs over mine.

I start to pump out the push-ups while she keeps count. I'll admit, the burn sets in early, but I force myself to continue. Probably should have done this for the last fifty only, but I'm committed now.

I pause between sets, wondering if I still have it in me to do another. Elle climbs off, handing me a bottle of water and a towel. I take a few huge gulps, pouring the rest over my head and shaking my hair out, spraying water all over Elle.

Her squeal of surprise makes me smile as she squeaks, "Again?"

"Again. Coach always says if he can't always build the best players, we'll at least have the fittest players, who can outlast everyone else. I think it's more for the freshmen, to build them up quickly." I grin over at her, waiting for her to climb back on, Coach's voice echoing in my memory.

"And here I thought my rowing coaches were scary." When she resumes her position, I grit my teeth, pounding out the remaining exercises. I can't wait to dive back into the cool water, have her slippery body slide over mine. The thought alone motivates me to grind out the last ten.

I tip my body to the side so she falls onto the floor, then shift so I'm above her, resting in a plank position. I slowly drop my knees down, between her legs, shifting down to my elbows to kiss her.

Her legs wind around my waist, my body trembling from the effort not to rest my full weight on her. "I think you deserve a rest," she whispers, just before twisting sharply until she's straddled above me and I'm flat on my back.

With a hand planted on either side of my face, she leans down, brushing her lips over mine, whisper soft. I grab her forearms, I can easily close my hands around them, and I slide them up to her biceps, gripping her as she comes down lower, resting on her elbows.

The teasing kisses she places on my lips drive me insane, but I let her set the pace.

Her soft skin sends sparks through me, at every point of contact. My body arches up to her, hungry for more.

When her hands tangle in my hair, I slide mine around the back of her neck, into her tangled damp hair, pulling her closer. The small moan that slips from between her lips vibrates against my mouth.

She tips her face to the side, sinking deeper, stroking her tongue over mine, then nipping my bottom lip sharply.

When I nudge her back, her eyes are glazed, and I can see the small pulse beating rapidly at her throat. I press my lips there, then settle back, looking up at her. Her hands fold over my chest, her chin rests on them as she watches me.

"Can I ask you something, Greyson?"

She can ask me anything she wants, for anything she wants, who would I be to deny her now? My brain is on fire, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Is kissing all you want to do with me? I mean, I don't know so much about it, but I talked to Theo, then Vi, and Theo said—"

"Christ, Elle. Please, please don't take advice from T. I know you love him, but I don't think you want to be like the girls he spends time with."

"I didn't ask him about the girls, that's his business, and theirs, I just wanted to know, well, more. Since you keep pumping the breaks, I just wanted to talk to someone who had, well done more too."

"Talk to me about this stuff, Elle. I don't want anyone else ever thinking of you that way." My voice is sharper than intended, so I press a hard, fast kiss to her lips.

"I just don't want you to think I don't know anything, or think I'm too inexperienced, too innocent. I'm curious, you can't really blame me."

I sigh. "It's not about that, Elle. I'm just getting used to what we have here. I don't want to ruin things, I just want to enjoy what we have, as it is for a bit. All that other stuff, it changes people, things between them. I've rushed into it all before. I want to do this right, with you."

Her eyes soften and a small smile tugs at her lips. "Vi and Theo both said there are other things we can do, that maybe wouldn't change too much... maybe you can show me, when you're ready? Theoretically, I think I've got it, Vi and Theo were very, very helpful."

My heart skips several beats, stuttering back into its rhythm. Fuck, how will I survive this girl? Damn Theo and Vi for putting thoughts of more in her head, thoughts she can torture me with in her innocent curiosity.

"When we're ready, Elle. For now, before we head to Hud's, you have two choices. Cold swim or cold shower with me?"

- - - 

Vote if you like the chapter and let me know what you think in the comments!

Elle's straightforward approach and her tendency to directly speak her mind are likely due to being around the boys so much growing up. It's something I love about her as a character, but also something that might get her into some trouble one day ;) What do you think?

Xx Toria