July 14

Thousand Islands, Ontario

Shit, Jules' place is unreal.

I've never spent any time on the St. Lawrence, and her cottage sits on a small, private island in the middle of the Thousand Islands.

Stretched out in the sun, I let my mind wander back over the past two days, tucking my favorite moments with Elle into a little box I can revisit over and over again.

We arrived late the first night after a long day, first at the festival and then the late evening drive. Jules had navigated the dark water and islands expertly, though, with Elle shining the big spotlight and helping when needed.

I'd barely managed to keep my eyes open long enough to strip, shower, and dig out clean boxers and fall into bed. I hadn't even noticed Elle climb in beside me, after her swim with the others. Not until I'd woken up with her curled into my side, head on my chest. And what a sight she was to wake up to.

Our first day had been all about adventure. We'd toured the islands, picnicked and tubed behind the boat. Jules was a total menace as the driver, and Elle and I had crashed into the water more times than I can count.

Towards the end, I'd had to pin Elle down in the tube to keep her in place, her arms tired and shaking from the exertion of holding on through the sharp turns and high speeds Jules likes to keep up. We'd been the first pair to go, and after that, only Theo and Sarah had been brave, or stupid enough to try while Jules was driving.

Fortunately, she'd let me take over so she could take a turn with Hudson, then Mads and Ryan took advantage of my mellower driving skills. I know how to give people a wild ride, without having them bail every three minutes.

Later, we spent the evening laughing around an open fire, grilling hotdogs on sticks, followed by s'mores, while Theo regaled us with a collection of horror and ghost stories he'd made up on the spot. They'd become wilder and wilder as the evening progressed, making me laugh, but Elle had clung to me, spooked by Theo's flashlight lit face and dark voice. It was so hokey and cheesy; it capped off the night perfectly.

Everything about the past few days has left me a little raw, feeling like an exposed nerve. First, with Elle, the realization that I need to start talking to her, letting her in. I just don't know how and it's a crushing weight on my chest when I do think about it. Then, fucking Craig. It made me crazy to hear about how he'd left because Mads said no. Every time I think about it; I want to punch him right in his smug face. I can't believe anyone would put their girl in a position like that.

Despite the damper Craig's departure had put on Mads, Ryan has taken a particular interest in bolstering her. She turned from sad and a little lost, to sweetly, quietly happy.

After another day by the water, swimming, diving, paddle boarding, windsurfing and tubing, I'm now stretched out on a lounge chair in the sun.

Today has been peaceful, despite the turmoil coursing through me.

We started the morning snuggled up in the massive bed. Elle was pressed so close to me that we probably could have fit another four people in the bed with us.

I love that even in sleep, perhaps even more than when she's awake, she needs to be near me.

So, I watched her sleep for nearly an hour before she stretched like a cat in the sun streaming through our window at seven-thirty, opening her eyes, blinking up at me. Fully alert, as usual.

We cooked breakfast together for the whole gang, well I watched, trying to help as Elle cooked, then I took sick pleasure in waking Ry and Theo up as aggressively as possible. Elle had strictly forbidden me from waking up Hud since she wasn't sure if Jules was in there. I'd rolled my eyes, but let her creep in and quietly wake them.

When Jules had walked out wearing only Hud's t-shirt over her bathing suit, I realized Elle was right. As usual.

I look down at her now, sprawled across my chest. She's currently stretched out on top of me, her hair tickling my neck in the light breeze.

I rock the glider gently with my right foot, a wave of contentment and peace washing over me. I adjust her wide-brimmed Panama hat on her head, so the brim shades her face.

Waving at Hud, I motion for him to come over, "Can you spray her with some more sun lotion?" I whisper so she doesn't wake up.

Hud grins at me. "Okay, Mom."

"Shut up," I mutter under my breath, but Hud takes the aerosol can from her bag and mists her back from shoulders to heels. He tiptoes around us, snickering to himself the entire time.

The little shit even sprays my exposed skin around her, teasing me in a snarky whisper as he does it, "Don't want you to get an Elle-shaped sunburn, brother."

I flip him the bird and close my eyes again, adjusting my old sunglasses higher up on the bridge of my nose. They can make fun of me all they want.

The fact that she's crashed like this just tells me how tired she is, usually such a light sleeper, my girl is dead to the world right now and has been for over an hour.

I feel an enormous sense of pleasure that she's relaxed this much and trusted me to fall into such a state of sleep, even if it was driven by exhaustion.

She's been burning the summer candle from all angles, me, work, friends, Liam, riding. Plus, the rest of us are total night owls, well I can really flex either way, but Elle is the complete opposite, and she's been fighting each night to stay up with us, even though I know she's waking up at her usual early hour. I'd been surprised when she'd woken up so late this morning. Well, late for her.

I almost don't want to go back to the festival tomorrow, but it's Theo's favorite pick tomorrow with Ry's favorite band headlining, so we're committed. Then Kid Rock and Alexisonfire on Saturday before we head back home.

Elle eventually stirs, and I sigh, feeling her stretch and come awake slowly. It's so warm, and I can feel the slide of sweat between our bodies where she's been plastered against me, but I don't care. I run my hands down her body to cup her hips, rubbing my thumbs lightly over the dip of her back, smiling at her as she adjusts her hat then pillows her chin on her hands to look down into my face.

With the sun shining from behind her, face shadowed by the wide, straw brim, and long hair blowing in the breeze, my heart nearly stops at how beautiful she is. I wish I could capture this moment forever.

"Don't move a muscle."

I reach my arm down for her small beach bag and dig, knowing she has that damn Polaroid camera somewhere. I find what I'm looking for and whip it out, snapping precisely the shot I want, grinning at her.

"Greyson," her sleepy laugh bubbles out, "I'm sure I look a total fright."

"Never; you look beautiful. If I have to choose one way to remember you this summer, it will be this picture." I wiggle the developing frame in the air, then look at it. I lean up, pressing my lips to her neck, just below her jaw, nuzzling in for a moment. She smells like rose and vanilla, like sunblock.

"How long was I asleep?" She presses her lips to my chest, kissing a small path to my throat.

"A little over an hour, or so." Relaxing back, I look at the developed picture. She's slightly sleep-rumpled, flushed, glowing from the sun, and just a little amused, she is absolutely perfect. You can see the hard ridge of my upper chest only slightly in the picture. I show her the snap, but don't let her take it from me. "It's mine, look with your eyes, not your hands."

Elle smiles, rolling her eyes as she leans down to press her lips to mine right before she jerks in my arms and sucks in a shocked breath.

Hud's wet beach ball bounces off her back, and cold water droplets fly over her sun-warmed skin. I hear Hud shout a laughing, "Sorry, Ellie!" before I grin, making my own split-second decision.

Considering that little splash to be test enough for the water temperature, I scoop her up, kick the ball to Hud, toss her hat on the dock, then run to the edge of the dock, jumping in to join the others.

The water's colder here than what we're used to, and Elle splashes me, right in the face, when we surface, swimming off to join the girls with a sassy little pout, but a twinkle of humor in her eyes. I laugh and join the guys, watching her as she swims away.

"You're toast, bro" Ry shoves my head under the water, and I surface, laughing, feeling lighter than I have all summer.

The afternoon slides by, and when Elle and Jules head up to the house to prepare for dinner, I shift gears to clean and light the grill.

"Hud, go help the girls bring the food down, Ry, why don't you grab plates and stuff, bring them down here. It's still pretty warm, I think we should eat outside."

Theo's lounging lazily on the glider, so I toss a heavy, wet towel at him. "Relax now, Pal. You're on KP tonight with Mads and Sarah, and you can bet your ass they're not going to let you off the hook, not if Elle's warned them about you."

"Yeah, yeah," he flips me the bird as he speaks.

"Fair's fair, brother." Theo's slick charm often gets him off the hook when it comes to basically every chore around the house. Only Elle can see past his manipulative behavior, and she doesn't tolerate it for a second.

Plus, Theo's already treading on thin ice, after having shirked his duties as co-planner for the trip.

Wild laughter pulls my attention away from the grill. Hud's got Jules tossed over one shoulder, and Elle is running away from him as fast as she can while he chases her towards me.

Although it's not particularly fast considering Elle's carrying a large serving plate with sliced veggies, fruit, and dips, trying to keep it level as she races towards me.

Jules has a covered bowl of some sort clutched in both hands, so she can only laugh and wheeze as she bounces on Hud's broad shoulder.

"What are you clowns doing?" Can't we manage to do one thing without hysterics? Although I'm grinning when Elle sets the platter down on the table and slides under my arm.

Hud laughs, "I'm helping the ladies carry the food down." His eyes twinkle mischievously.

He lunges for Elle, who shrieks, grabbing me around the ribs. "You said Greyson was home free."

Laughing, Hud yanks her braid and drops a kiss to her cheek. "I lied. You're it next round."

"He's a terror, Greyson. An absolute terror," Elle's comment whooshes out of her as she catches her breath. Her cheeks are flushed with excitement and exertion from her race down the long sloping path.

Ry wanders down with Sarah and Mads at a more dignified pace with everything we need to set the table.

"This looks amazing, Jules." Sarah claps her hands as she uncovers the potato salad and starts adding serving spoons and forks to the large plates.

"Who wants what to drink?" Hud raises his eyebrows at all of us.

"I'll have some sweet iced tea, please," Elle pipes up first and is immediately mimicked by her friends.

Nodding, Hud looks around to the guys, "Cokes all around?."

"Sprite or 7-Up for me, Hud," Theo grins at him as he walks over. "Need a hand?"

I watch them shove one another as they head towards the house, eventually racing to the screen door. Hud beats Theo by a hair. It's always a competition with those two.

I listen while I grill, on the outside of the group. Elle keeps me tethered to the group, pulling my attention into the conversation when I should participate with a nudge, a squeeze or a whisper. It's been so long since I relaxed fully in a group, I feel stiff and out of practice. All I want is to be alone with her.

I put some chicken from the platter onto Elle's plate before grabbing some steak for myself. She scoops the different salads onto my plate, and much to my displeasure, I see it's an equal-sized serving of potato salad and the green salad, but I can deal. I can't help but notice none of the other guys have any green salad on their plates, and I sigh. Well, worth the price, I guess, as I look down at her beside me.

"I'd like to make a toast, everyone," Elle's sweet voice makes the group fall silent. "Thanks to Jules and her grandparents for letting us use their place and feeding us so well while we were here. Couldn't imagine a better trip if I tried."

Jules flushes with pleasure and we each raise our glasses and murmur our appreciation to Jules before digging into dinner.

By the time we've eaten, cleaned up, and prepared for our early departure tomorrow morning, it's nearly eleven o'clock. The group's started to split, breaking off into smaller groups.

Hud and Jules, Elle and I, then Theo, Ry, Sarah, and Mads, decide to break out the cards.

With no intention of giving up any time with Elle, I grab her hand and tug her down the path and over the footbridge to the small cabin island bedroom we share. Hud and Jules, who share the cabin with us, are hot on our heels, clearly having the same idea.

I pull Elle inside, closing our bedroom door before she can start a conversation with them. Pushing her back against it, I press my lips to hers, biting back a desperate groan. I've been waiting for this moment all day.

She responds immediately, her hands sliding up my ribs, the front of my chest until she's stretching up on her toes to wind her arms around my neck. I boost her up, pulling her legs around my hips, banding my forearm under her ass to keep her lips at the same level as mine.

Her hands play with my hair at the back of my neck; I practically growl my pleasure against her mouth. She is so perfect, I can't believe how close I'd come to fucking all of this up before.

I know I'm pushing my luck a little here. I've watched Elle keep her promise to me, letting me in, trusting me. But I haven't kept up my end of the deal. I've barely let her under the surface, I haven't told her how I feel, not about her, not about the future. It's one thing to say to her that I want to be with her, another to make a plan to ensure it happens.

When we get back to Muskoka, I'll talk to her about the future, at least, try to buy myself some time on the other harder conversation I know we have to have, about my feelings regarding Liam, about last summer.

When her teeth sink into the skin just below my ear, I moan, a deep husky sound that grates from the back of my throat. I hardly recognize myself in that desperate, needy sound. My only consolation that she's consumed by the same frantic haze of need is the sound of the small sighs and moans floating from her lips as I return her feverish kisses.

I walk over to the edge of the bed, tipping forwards to fall to the mattress, catching my weight on my elbows without breaking the seal of my kiss against her throat. A dark thought crosses my mind, and I kiss my way down to the soft skin just below the string of her bathing suit top. I suck her skin hard, nipping and sucking until I taste the faint metallic taste of blood rushing up under her skin as I leave a dark hickey high on her ribs, just under her breast. Her hands are in my hair, trying to pull me back up her body. I stop just shy of breaking the skin, pleased when the dark reddish, purple mark stays there. Mine, I think fiercely, as I kiss a hot trail of kisses back to her lips, sinking into the kiss with a groan.

Eventually, for my own sanity and to preserve my shaky control, I push her away from me, rolling her to the side and curling up behind her, pulling her close. Her frustrated groan makes me smile. She yelps softly when my hand grips her ribs, and I curse myself for forgetting her slowly healing bruise, even if only momentarily. "Sorry, Elle," and press my lips to the back of her neck, her shoulder.

I slide further down to place soft kisses across her ribs against the purple-blue, green and yellow marks before sliding the waistband of her denim shorts down her hip slightly to kiss the bruise there. Her body stiffens when my nose brushes lightly against the soft skin under her hipbone, then relaxes as I keep the caress light, undemanding.

Elle sighs, stroking her fingers through my hair as I spread more kisses gently across her ribs, up to her collarbone and settle back, curving my body around hers. "You never let me stay in control, Greyson, you're always stopping me. You are a definite mood killer, let me just say that."

I laugh, and she looks back at me over her shoulder, confused. "Trust me, Elle. When we decide to take things further, we'll both be happy we didn't rush into it."

Her loud, dramatic sigh of resignation brings the smile back to my lips, and I rub them softly over the smooth skin of her neck. She shivers and cuddles in closer.

Keeping her close, I slide my hand up to hold hers, and she pulls our joined hands to rest in a loose fist close to her heart.

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Xx Toria