July 10

Toronto, Ontario

Liam looks miserable today, more so than every other time I've seen him.

I drove down in the pickup truck that I'm part way through restoring. I'm so damn proud of this car, having bought it myself, slowly rebuilding it with my uncle's help. This week was the first week we'd had it out on the roads fully operational. It's rusted out and needs a paint job, but that newly rebuilt engine purrs like a kitten.

Okay, so more like a kitten with laryngitis but still, progress.

The only downside to the truck is that it has a three-person bench, which means it's a snug ride when you have two guys as big as Ry and I, so Elle was squished in the middle, leaning against my shoulder. I don't mind, and she hadn't complained, but I could tell she was less than comfortable after a couple of hours.

Now, sitting in Liam's room, I reshuffle the cards, getting ready to deal a third hand of Texas Hold 'em. We're playing with Elle's cookies as the stakes.

"Elle seems a bit frosty towards you, G-Man. Something you want to get off your chest?"

Liam looks over at me as he eats part of the cookie that's meant to be his chips, and I roll my eyes. Ry laughs at me, "He's not wrong, bro."

"Why does everyone, all of a sudden, want to talk about feelings? I thought we were here to play poker, like men."

Now, it's their turn to roll their eyes at me. Liam presses forward, though, "Dude, spill. That girl normally looks like she'd walk through fire for you, so what's the deal?"

Sighing, I come clean. "Chiara said some shit that upset her, and if I deny it, I look like an ass, if I confirm it, I'm probably not the type of person she wants to be with. I can't take either route, because not everything Chiara said, happened the way she said it, but I guess semantics don't really matter at this point."

Liam nods and puts his hand over mine as I fidget with the cards, stilling the restless action before he pulls away. "Fuck Chiara, she's a bitch. Do what you need to do to reassure Elle. I can tell she's got sticking power, you won't scare her off that easy. I like who you become when she's near you. I'd like to see more of that Grey."

"How do you and Sam do it?"

Liam looks at me with a twinkle of humor. "All sorts of ways, in all sorts of places."

Ry and I both snort, "Not what I meant, perv."

"What did you mean?" I can tell Liam understands what I'm asking, he's just being a pain and making me say it.

"I just feel like I'm going to keep hurting her, no matter how hard I try not to. She's so pure and perfect."

When I'd asked her last night if she still wanted to come today, she'd surprised me by saying, of course, she'd be coming. Like it wasn't even a question.

She'd pressed herself against me in comfort and support the entire drive down. It was the first time in nearly a week she'd willingly touched me. She was able to put away her own hurt feelings and uncertainty over our current situation to be there for me. How could I ever be worthy of her?

Liam and Ry both look at me with a combination of pity and a look that says I'm an idiot. Ry makes a gagging sound, and I punch him hard on his bicep.

"Just talk to her, Grey, open up for once in your life. You never know when you might not have the chance to again." Liam's voice is quiet, but he might as well be speaking through a megaphone.

My eyes jerk up to meet his, and I find him smiling. "Did you just..." I can't even say it.

"Did I just use the dying card on you to get you to fix your shit with Elle? Damn straight, I did. Pull your head out of your ass, Grey. I love you, but you can be so thick sometimes. As long as you're honest and talk to her, it will be fine. You'll see. Just don't bottle all that shit up until you explode, with you, there's no telling what the collateral damage will be."

"You're such a shit, Liam. I have to take your damned advice, so I can prove to you I can open up, and we can finally double date like you always used to badger me about." I speak firmly, trying to remind him that I expect him to fight for longer.

His gaze shifts away from me, "Speaking of Sam and your better half, where did they get off to? Think they'll be back soon?"

"No doubt about it, bro. Sam's like a boomerang, never gone long and always comes back to you." Ry chuckles at his own little joke. Liam and I roll our eyes at one another.

Elle's taken Sam out for a walk to spend a little time in the sunshine. Sam looks pale and like she hasn't slept in days. Liam looks so much worse.

He's trying to keep his spirits up for us, I can tell, but he keeps staring out the window longingly. I wonder if we can take him outside. I make a note to ask after this round of cards.

Ryan is distracted, worrying over Liam. I set the cards down and walk over to the nurse's station. "Can we take Liam Black outside, into the courtyard, or over to the park?"

The nurse looks me up and down, then pulls up some records on her computer. "Sorry, hun. No can do today. Liam's on the books a little later for some tests, his parents prefer he stays close."

I grit my teeth, frustrated that I can't do anything to perk my friend up, and return to the room with a shrug. I'm trying to decide how to bring the mood up in the room, when Elle and Sam walk in, arms full of overstuffed bags.

"Ry's going to take you for a loop of the floor, Liam, we have a small surprise for you." Sam giggles and my heart soars. I haven't heard her laugh all summer.

Liam smiles, "Can I get a teaser?" He asks, rolling his IV around the bed and sliding into his wheelchair. Sam only shakes her head, laughing, "Nope, you'll have to wait."

Ry dutifully rolls him through the doors and out into the hallway. "Nurse Ry, reporting for duty. Let's go see about finding us a couple of sponge baths, buddy." I snicker and hope they don't cause too much commotion with the nurses. Last week we were almost kicked out of the hospital for our rowdy behavior. But what do they expect? Without the laughs, this place is depressing as shit.

"What's the plan here, Elle?" I have no idea how she managed to plan something. If she wasn't with me or at work, she'd been with Hud or riding all week. I drop down to sit on the edge of Liam's bed.

"You'll see, we need your help, well mostly just your height."

"I live to serve, apparently."

She grins at me then turns her attention back to her giant bag. "I'll keep that in mind."

I watch as Elle drags a big white sheet from the bag, biting her lip and looking around the room. She pulls me from my seat on Liam's bed. "Boost me up, I need to put this near the ceiling."

Even though Elle's been her usual self for the visit today, we haven't fully resolved the argument between us, or her hurt feelings. I'm desperate to talk to her, hold her in my arms again, and take comfort in her sweet, innocent kisses and touches. I've been careful to keep my distance. This is the first time she's asked me to touch her since we'd seen Chiara, and even though it's a casual gesture, I'm thrilled by it.

"Yes, ma'am." I kneel down onto the floor, holding my hand out for the small tacks she's holding and let her sit on my shoulders. I move slowly, careful not to jar her as the bruises are still dark on her body, hidden under her soft sundress. Standing back up, one hand on her thigh to stabilize her, I hold my other palm up to her, and she tacks the first corner into the wall with two tacks. We repeat the process on the other side, Elle pulls the slack, creating a tight white fabric panel.

"What are you girls doing?" My curiosity and impatience get the best of me.

Sam reaches up and hands Elle a small box.

"We're going to recreate the night sky, sort of, with these sticky stars." Elle continues to give instructions to me, "Turn left, move forward a bit. Perfect. Now, turn right, talk towards the window, super slowly and turn a little left before you get there. Slowly, Greyson."

I give Sam the last two tacks when she asks for them. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sam pinning the bottom edges of the sheet to the wall.

Properly confused, I just accept their orders and execute them for the next ten minutes. I wander around the room as Elle sticks these small white plastic things to the ceiling.

She taps my shoulder, "You can let me down now, Greyson."

I lift her up, carefully, over my head, and set her on the ground. Her small hiss of pain as I grip her hips makes me pull my hand back like I've burned it. "Sorry, Elle."

"Don't worry about it." She waves it off, hurries back over to Sam, and they're whispering, smiling at one another. These two girls seem thick as thieves, and I wonder how I've missed this side of their relationship.

They set two tall, skinny tripods, or stands of some sort, running an extendable rod between them. Elle tries to toss a sheet over the whole thing, but she's too short and keeps wincing each time she twists to throw it.

"Give it to me, Elle." I step over and help her, nudging her off to the side and tossing the sheet over quickly. When she has the sheet the way she wants it, she ties the sides back, pulling the whole structure until it's only partially covering the bed. It looks like a tent. I smile, seeing where we're heading.

Sam claps her hands silently, jumping on the spot in excitement. She pulls out a projector and cables, and a small tape cassette. She sets everything up on the window ledge, playing with the little box's legs to level it.

"Greyson, grab me that bag on the floor, please."

It's like a Mary Poppins bag, bottomless and magical. Elle grabs the accessories she's brought with her, a Hudson's Bay Heritage Stripe blanket in a soft cotton, and matching knit pillows. She places those on Liam's bed, positioning them carefully around him, moving cables and tubes here and there.

She pulls out a large picnic basket, thermos, and five mugs, setting everything out. My throat tightens when she pulls a cake box from the basket. She's made a s'mores cake, with a small campfire on top for decoration, using colored frosting, candy, and graham crackers to create the little fire. I'll bet the thermos is filled with hot chocolate for Liam.

I follow their instructions and rearrange the plants that are scattered all around the room, creating a distinct woodsy vibe.

When Elle dims the lights, I think I might break down and cry. I am so touched by what she's done. The small plastic shapes she'd stuck to the ceiling glow like stars, sort of like the major constellations we'd see from her boathouse roof. I feel a flush of pleasure roll through me, remembering the time I spent teaching her last summer.

A moment later, I hear Ry's booming laugh accompanied by Liam's embarrassed groan and apology to the nurses. This time, when Ry wheels back in, Liam has a large pink maxi pad stuck to his face like a blindfold. I nearly double over laughing. "Ry, you're so fucked up."

"Someone better tell me what's going on and get me away from this lunatic." Liam's exasperated voice is filled with humor, though.

Elle closes the door most of the way, careful not to obstruct the path to Liam's bed. Ry and I help Liam, still blindfolded back onto the bed.

Sam wrings her hands together nervously, and Elle gives them a squeeze as she picks up another blanket, spreading it on the floor beside the bed. She scatters the six remaining cushions on the floor.

"Go sit with Liam, Sam." Not needing to be told twice, she climbs up on the bed with Liam, snuggling against his shoulder, resting her head there.

Elle places Sam's laptop on the ground, setting the channel to show some video or other of campfire footage. She gestures to Ryan and me to sit on the floor, and she quickly sets plates and forks on the table beside Liam. I see her give Sam the thumbs-up sign.

"Open your eyes, Liam," Sam whispers to him, peeling the pad away carefully with a laugh.

When he does, he smiles at Sam, looking a little confused. He looks around the room, speaking slowly, "Where did my room go?" He teases, but I can see he's touched by the transformation. His voice is thick with emotion.

When Elle walks over with the cake, his eyes fill with tears, and he blinks them back rapidly. Sam kisses his cheek. "Since you can't be in the outdoors right now, we've brought the outdoors to you. The nurses say you can keep it set up like this if you like it."

Liam takes Sam's hand and presses it against his cheek, rubbing it back and forth.

I watch as Elle slices the cake, handing two plates to Sam and Liam. She tops both with a pre-toasted marshmallow from her basket.

She hands out cake to Ryan, and me and takes a slice for herself before pressing play on the projector. The white sheet pinned to the wall is filled with a slightly shaky home video.

We immediately hear Liam's laugh, and Sam's voice roll out from the small speakers. From the shaky camera work, it looks like they might be in a kayak or a canoe.

Sure enough, the camera turns, showing Liam paddling. "Sam, cut it out. You have to paddle too, I'm not dragging your ass around this lake so you can film me doing it."

Sam's laugh is brilliant, "I'm going to film this entire summer Liam Black, and there is nothing you can do to stop me. Plus, Coach said you need to gain muscle, so chop-chop, no dilly dallying, or lily-dipping. Paddle on both sides to keep it even, I don't want a lopsided boyfriend."

We all laugh at her snippy commentary.

Elle settles down beside me on one of the cushions, and I pull her under my arm, kissing her temple. Tears are hot behind my eyelids, and my throat is tight. I don't care what else is going on between us right now, at this moment, everything is forgotten, so insignificant compared to my feelings for this girl.

For the next two hours, we eat cake, drink the hot chocolate that Ryan passes out and watch footage of Sam and Liam from last summer under an artificial canopy of stars, and I'm struck by how fast your life can change.

Ryan and I are featured heavily in much of the footage, and our raucous and rowdy shouts egging each other on as we jump from Brydons Bay cliffs, wake surf, and flip off my boathouse roof. Sam's soft voice and laughter are ever present as she works the camera.

I look back at Sam and Liam. He's watching the footage with a half-smile on his face, tears streaming down his cheeks. I reach up, gripping his forearm, tightly holding onto my friend. His hand comes down to grip my wrist, squeezing once before returning to keep Sam close.

All too soon it seems, the footage cuts out. When I look back, Liam's asleep, his head resting on Sam's stomach, and his arms wrapped tightly around her. Elle leans over the bed to kiss Sam on the cheek, waving goodbye. She drops a soft kiss to Liam's cheek before packing up the cake in the box and sliding it into the small fridge in his room.

While Ryan and I say our goodbyes to Sam, we remind her we'll be back next Sunday. Elle removes the dirty plates, mugs, thermos, and forks, packing them back up in the basket and taking it with us, leaving Sam and Liam cocooned in the artificial campsite she'd constructed, closing the door behind us.

As soon as we're away from Liam's room, I pull Elle into my arms, hugging her tightly, dragging a very surprised Ryan into the hug. I don't know how long we stand there, sandwiching Elle between us, but words cannot express what I feel for her. All I can do is whisper "Thank you," so softly, I'm not even sure she can hear me.

- - -

True friends will drop everything for you, I hope you're all lucky to one great friend. I know I am. 

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Xx Toria