WhatsApp Messages with Chris

Chris
naomi?
are you there?

Naomi
so, you're texting me now?

Chris
you have every right to be angry with me but please, hear me out. . .

Naomi
hear you out?
hear you out?
what about hearing me out when you found out about the article?
did you ever think to ask me about it when it surfaced?

Chris
i made a huge mistake, naomi. i know that now and i can't even begin to tell you how sorry i am.

Naomi
i told you i loved you before i left for london. . .
even when i kept pushing you away, i still told you how i felt.
even when my mum was still being the worst mum on earth, treating my dad like dirt, i still told you how i felt.

Chris
you never told me about your mum. . .

Naomi
well, i was going to after i got back from london but then you decided to give me the silent treatment. you should have talked to me about it. you shouldn't have kept your mouth shut about it because i was restless about it when i found out last week.

Chris
i know, i know you were restless.
i made a mistake, naomi. i screwed up. and you're right, i should have came to you about it as soon as i found out. i was wrong to assume things and jump to conclusions.
i'm so incredibly sorry, naomi. . .

Naomi
how the hell did you even find out about me being restless when i saw the article last week?

Chris
i ran into ben a few days ago.

Naomi
oh so, after you talked to ben did you only think to come and talk to me about this?

Chris
i made a mistake.

Naomi
you sure as hell as did.
you should have talked to me and not assume that ben and i were together just because of a stupid article! you of all people should know what kind of lies they love to spread.
why would you even assume such a thing?
and don't lie to me, chris. i want the truth.

Chris
i know this is going to sound really stupid. . . but i saw the way ben has looked at you all this while. at first, i thought it was just a good friend admiring a friend but then i started to realize that he looked at you the way i do. and i don't look at you as a friend, at least not since a couple of months ago.

Naomi
. . . what else did he tell you?

Chris
he told me he confessed to you after you left for georgia.
is that why you were upset when we started filming?

Naomi
yes.

Chris
is it alright if i ask why?

Naomi
i really wished you'd asked me questions like these when you found out about the article. . .
and to answer your question, i was upset because i thought i'd lost my friend for good. ben has been one of my closest friends and to even think about our friendship turning sour made me sick to my stomach.
and if you want to know, the thought of losing you made me sick to my stomach, only ten times worse.
it made my head spin and it made my heart hurt more than i could ever imagine or comprehend.
initially, i thought it was all my fault because i kept pushing you away and that you probably just needed space to think things through, especially with me being so cold and distant, constantly pushing you and rejecting your love. because when someone's been rejected one too many times, hope dwindles and everything just fades in time.
i thought it was all over for us, and that maybe it was for the better even though my heart hurt at just the thought of it. i thought everything had already gone up in flames before we could even start anything at all. but then i found out about that god forsaken article and finally understood why you'd been aloof after i got back from london.

Chris
i was a fool, a fool for believing such a thing.
and an even bigger fool for not asking you about it.
i just thought that since you've known ben longer than you've known me, you'd evidently choose him in the end because he probably respected your space more than i have.

Naomi
my space?
sure, i'll admit that you "invaded" my space by telling me that you wanted all of me, including my problems and traumas. but i didn't feel as though you'd invaded my space in a bad way. in fact, it made me realize so many things. YOU made me realize so many things. you made me see things in a different light, that even though my mum left me at a young age, that doesn't mean that i don't deserve to be loved, that not everyone will leave me when the going gets tough.

Chris
i'll never leave you on your own, naomi.
i'll never leave you behind.
just because your mom left you, that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be loved.
you deserve everything the world has to offer.

Naomi
you did leave me behind when you automatically assumed that ben and i were together.
you left me in the dark, chris. for two months.

Chris
i'm sorry, naomi.
i'm so sorry for everything i've done.
i never wanted to see you hurt but the truth is, as much as i'd hate to admit it, i know i did hurt you and i'm so terribly sorry for the pain i've caused you these past two months.

Naomi
to be frank with you, i should be the one apologizing.

Chris
no, there's nothing for you to apologize.

Naomi
no, there is. i know it's probably never easy to handle rejection and i know that i've probably rejected you at least ten times. and i'm sorry for that, chris. i truly am sorry for that.
truth is, half of my heart wanted to let you into my mess of a life but the other half was more dominant and adamant on keeping you out of my life because i didn't want you to shoulder my burden, my troubles, my everything.

Chris
i want to shoulder everything with you, naomi. the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly. but only if you'll let me. though, i'll understand if you don't want to anymore, especially not after these recent events.

Naomi
i love you, chris. truly, i do.
but i need some time and space right now.
and you probably need some, too.
you and i have hurt each other before we could even start anything, so i'm not entirely sure about everything right now.

Chris
i know. and i respect that.
know that i'll always respect your decisions, naomi.
i know we've hurt each other because of my lack of communication but i still believe in us.
i still love you. i always will.
whatever it takes for you to forgive me and give me a second chance, i'll do it because i honestly do love you. if time and space are what you need, you'll have them.

Naomi
stop. i won't let you take the blame for this because i didn't properly communicate with you either, about my problems and my traumas.

Chris
can we meet in the middle and say that it's both our faults? for not openly communicating with one another and for not confiding in each other when we should have?

Naomi
sure, we can meet in the middle.

Chris
i wish i could see that small smile on your face as you read my message.

Naomi
you know me so well.

Chris
i love you, naomi jane lindberg.
i'll wait for you, however long it takes.

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a/n; ONE (1) MORE CHAPTER TO GO, FOLKS 👀 I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR THE ENDING

also, i may or may not do a little q&a after the last chapter, in case any of you might have some questions regarding the characters in this book, the story in general or anything else really! please let me know if you guys are interested 💓