AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Heyyyy everyone - LOVED reading your reactions of last week's chapter! Thank you as always for your lovely comments and feedback!

I am planning one more chapter after this one, followed by an Epilogue. I'm still writing now and hoping that I don't mess everything up at the very end haha! But hopefully you'll enjoy how things turn out :)

Let me know what you think this week, much love and hugs to you all!
Becky x x x

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Chapter 30

Rebuilding

When I first met Jaxon Stark, I saw someone cool, mysterious and endlessly interesting. I thought that he was the most fascinating creature I had ever laid eyes on. Someone with creativity pouring out of him. Someone with depth. Someone who could shake up my sad little life and make me just as cool and interesting as him.

But the Jaxon Stark before me now, the one currently sobbing and holding his bleeding nose, is not the same one that I met in The Fishtank. This snivelling wreck of a little boy is nothing like the man I thought I knew.

This Jaxon isn't cool. Or mysterious. He's just a spoilt baby from a well-off family who gets everything handed to him on a plate. And as for depth? There is nothing there. Nothing. His entire personality is based on stolen tattoo designs that he'd never be able to create himself if his life depended on it.

And he's lazy. So lazy that he relies on lies to make himself interesting rather than hard work. So lazy that he couldn't even be bothered to tell the lies right. Now they've crumbled down around him and there's nowhere left for him to hide. All he can do is cry.

The sound of broken hiccupping echoes around the room. These aren't the tears of someone who is sorry. They're the tears of a cowardly bully who finally got a taste of his own medicine. And they show me who he really is. The Jaxon Stark who was there all along, the one I was just far too blind to see.

Chunk crouches down, snatching the phone out of his hand. "Is this the only copy of the photo?"

I'm taken aback by his forcefulness. He's angry, but not out of control. He's physically hurt Jaxon, but only to defend me. He's doing what he needs to do to fix this, just like he promised he would.

Why have I never seen him properly before? He was just a friendly face in the greengrocer, a shoulder to cry on when I needed him. But I never SAW him. I never knew how any of this was making him feel.

I've been blind in more ways than one. And I can't believe it's taken me all this time to realise it.

"You HIT me," Jaxon eventually splutters out, still clutching his nose like it's about to fall off. Blood trickles faintly between his fingers. Chunk must have got him really hard. "You're meant to be my friend! That HURT!"

"I SAID, IS THAT THE ONLY PHOTO?" Chunk bellows, grabbing Jaxon by the scruff of the neck. "YES OR NO?"

"Yes, it's the only photo," Jaxon whimpers, trembling under Chunk's grip. There are even more tears streaking down his face.

"What about your laptop?" I interject, glaring down at the floor where Jaxon is curled in a heap. It feels good to be bigger than him for a change. "You sent it on Facebook, so it must be on there too!"

"I did it from my phone," Jaxon answers, wiping his face with his hand, smearing blood and tears together. "I swear there's none on the computer."

"What's your Facebook password?" Chunk demands. "I'm logging in and deleting your account."

"You can't do that!" Jaxon protests. "This is my stuff, you can't just take it! It's illegal!"

Chunk is tapping onto a Facebook screen. "It's illegal to share personal photographs in public," he answers without looking up. "It's illegal to blackmail people. It's illegal to force people into anything without their consent. I don't think you've shown much respect for the law, or for other people, so it's tough shit Jaxon."

Jaxon doesn't put up any more of a fight. He stays crumpled on the ground, staring shellshocked into space. It's like it's never occurred to him that any of his actions are wrong. I bet no one has ever called him out in his entire life.

"Password!" Chunk snaps, loudly.

"It's meganfox123," Jaxon replies in a tiny voice. He is shrinking before our eyes, all of his power pooling around his feet and trickling into nothing.

Chunk shakes his head and taps the phone some more. He must know Jaxon's email already. Of course he does, they are friends. At least, they were. But now it's pretty clear that their friendship will never, ever recover.

"Right, it's deleted," Chunk says with one final tap. "You won't be able to get that photo back. And if I find you've got any copies anywhere, this phone is going straight to the police."

Jaxon picks himself up from the floor, clenching his fists with rage. "You can't just take it! That's my fucking phone, I need it!"

Chunk places the phone pointedly in the back pocket of his jeans. "Just watch me."

This is checkmate and Jaxon knows it. He's clearly too scared to try and start another physical fight. After watching that epic punch to the face, I'm not surprised. I never thought that Chunk could ever hurt a fly, but I guess I was wrong. It just goes to prove that if you push people enough then sometimes they break.

I was pushed too. And I broke. In the worst kind of way. But now I'm ready to start piecing myself back together again. It might be too late for Jaxon, but it's not too late for me. I refuse to let him ruin me.

"This is a joke!" Jaxon shouts, unable to accept his defeat. "Do you know how much that costs?! The photo's gone for crying out loud so just give it back!"

He's whining like a petulant child, reaching his hands out and snatching the air. Has this been the real him all along? Where's the cool edge? Where's all the bravado? I can't see a single shred of sexiness left in him.

I've been trying to act like an experienced grown-up. And all for what? For this? The shame creeps through me even more deeply than before as he continues to morph before my eyes. It's like he's devolving with every passing second.

"It's evidence," Chunk states. "And I'm taking it. So don't you dare think about messing with Ash again. Or anyone. Because the moment you step a toe out of line, you'll wish to God that you hadn't."

"OK, fine," Jaxon snaps back, waving his arms up in frustration. "Take it then! But you fucking owe me for it!"

"Consider it payback for all that money I spent on you," I blurt out. "Remember that? The meal you swore you'd pay me back and never did? Or did you just forget about that after all the other lies?"

"Oh, so what?!" he snarls. "I got you to spend out a little on me, it's not a big deal. You seemed to be having a good time from what I can remember. You were all over me." He narrows his eyes furiously. "Even though you've totally changed your tune now. Whatever makes you and Fatboy feel better at night I guess. You two snakes were made for each other."

I step forward, unphased by Jaxon's bitter insults. He moves backward as I get closer, but still I can see the stains of blood on his cheeks and the watery gloss covering his pupils.

"You treated me like dirt," I say, calmly and concisely. "And you could have just broken my heart and then left me alone, but that wasn't enough for you was it? You sent me that photo. You... you wanted me to come round here and sleep with you! It's like you weren't happy until you had destroyed everything in my life."

The jealousy, the manipulation, the undermining, and the total control. He wanted every part of me. He wanted to press down so hard that I cracked inside of his hands.

"Why?" I ask. "Why did you do it?"

Jaxon purses his lips. And for one sole time, he finally gives me a bit of honesty.

"Because I could."

There is a sneer on his cowardly lips. His one parting shot. But it doesn't dent me. Not even a little.

"Well, you can't anymore," I reply. "Because I'm not nothing, like you seem to think I am. YOU are nothing, Jaxon. And I'm off to live my life without you."

I turn away from him and it's like he's fallen off the edge of the Universe. The only thing I can see now is Chunk's blue eyes glinting at me across the room like two safety nets just below my feet.

"Shall we leave him to it?" he asks me.

"Yeah, let's go home," I reply. Then I touch his arm, feeling his warmth beneath my fingertips, and together we walk to the doorway.

"So that's it?!" Jaxon shouts after us. "You've assaulted me, stolen my stuff and now you're just going to leave?! Haven't you got anything else to fucking well say for yourselves?!"

I spin around in the doorway to look at him. Really look at him. For one very last time.

"Yeah, I have," I say. "Stop treating women like objects without feelings. We're not just playthings for you to pick up and do whatever you want with. Think about your actions, Jaxon. Or you're going to end up a very lonely, bitter person. And a rotten one."

For a split second, I see my words enter into his vapid head. His eyes erupt in panic, flickered with shame. The reaction is almost imperceptible it happens so quickly, but I spot it. Just before he steels himself and a sulky defiance returns in its place.

"You're a sad bitch, you know that Ash?" he fumes at me. "You just can't handle a real relationship! Go off with sappy little no-life greengrocer over here, he doesn't have a dick so he'll be exactly what you want."

"Let's go," I say to Chunk. He smiles at me and we walk away.

Jaxon doesn't follow us but keeps calling out from his bedroom. "I can't believe I ever bothered with EITHER of you. I never even liked you Chunky-mate, I just felt sorry for your fat, lardy arse. Been trying to get rid of you for YEARS."

We walk down the stairs, totally ignoring Jaxon the whole way down.

"I've got a CAREER," his voice continues, floating along the hallway from upstairs. "What have you two got? Some shit little pub? Boxes of bananas? Big fucking whoop! Enjoy your tedious little lives in Crapsterfield, I'll send you a postcard from the other side to remind you what actual success looks like!"

We exit the house in silence, closing the door behind us. And the last remaining pieces of Jaxon Stark crumble into dust.

---

For a while, there is silence inside of Chunk's van. We simply sit there as he drives back home, processing everything that's happened. I feel like I've just woken up from the longest, craziest dream of my life and now I can't quite remember where I am anymore.

"You OK?" Chunk asks once we're safely out of Jaxon's neighbourhood and back on the main road.

"Yeah, I am," I reply, meaning it. "Thank you, Charlie."

There is so much I want to say to him. So much. But where do I start? It feels like thank you is a pretty good first step.

"Anytime," Chunk replies, a blush creeping across his face. He glances at me as we wait at a traffic light. "Do you want to go to the police? I've got the phone now."

I stare down at the sleeves of my overalls, fiddling with them awkwardly. "No, not really. I don't think I can go through all of this again. I just... I want to get on with my life now."

Chunk nods in understanding. "Well, I don't think that idiot will be bothering you again. And if he does then we'll go, OK?"

"OK," I whisper in reply.

A strange tension is starting to mount between us and we both know it. All of the things Jaxon said. All his accusations about the way Chunk feels. They're filling up the entire van and they're impossible to ignore.

"Ashleigh," Chunk says softly. "About what Jaxon said..."

"You don't have to talk about it," I interrupt hastily. "Seriously, I know how poisonous he is now. He'll say anything to try and humiliate people. We can just forget it."

I don't want to force him into saying something he'll regret. We all get little crushes on people. It shouldn't have to change anything. And it will never make me think any less of him.

The click of the van's indicator springs into action and suddenly Chunk is pulling up at a grassy clearing on the side of the road. I look around in alarm, confused as to what he's doing. "Why are you stopping?"

"Because I need to tell you this properly," he says, switching off the engine. The van goes silent. The whole entire world goes silent.

"Charlie, it's OK," I murmur. "You don't have to explain anything. Honestly."

He looks at me, his eyes delving so deeply into mine that it practically takes my breath away.

"Jaxon might be a liar, but he was right about one thing. I have feelings for you, Ash. Strong feelings. I always have done, right from schooldays. I've just never had the guts to tell you."

I am absolutely stunned. This is more than a boy with a crush. This is a man, bearing his heart to me. I don't know if I'm ready for something so huge. My own heart hammers wildly inside of me, trying to escape my body.

Is this why I've blocked out the truth? Because I'm not ready yet?

Well, maybe it's time to grow up and face what I really want.

"I had no idea you felt like that," I breathe. "Oh, Chunk..."

"It kills me to see what Jaxon has done to you," he continues. "You are wonderful, Ashleigh Apple. Whenever I see you, even if it's only for a few minutes, you make my whole day worth it. I literally live to drop deliveries at your shop so I can hear your jokes and see your beautiful smile. You're funny and optimistic and full of life. You give me hope in the world."

A lone tear rolls down my face and I can't seem to stop it. "Why didn't you tell me?! You've felt like this the whole time and you never, ever said anything, why?!"

"Because I know a guy like me would never stand a chance with someone like you," he answers with a sad smile. "I would never expect to. You're a beautiful burst of energy and light. And I'm just a big, fat, boring oaf who smells of potatoes most of the time."

I grab Chunk's hand. Tightly. "No you're not. I've never seen you like that."

I'm not lying. I know Chunk is a bigger guy, but I barely even notice that about him. The things I see are his cheerfulness and his kindness. His size hasn't stopped me from liking him. The only thing to blame is my total obliviousness.

I was so wrapped up in finding a rock star boyfriend that I never even noticed the real life boy right under my nose.

Chunk wraps his hands around mine. "It's OK, Ash. I'm a big boy, I can handle reality. I'm just happy that you're even my friend. I swear you can count on me whatever happens."

My tongue has gone numb. And all my feelings are in a great, big, messy tangle. Today has been such a rollercoaster that I'm finding it hard to process anything else.

How do I feel about Charlie Monk? I mean how do I really, truly feel about him? I'm not sure that I can answer that question.

Not yet. Later, I'll be ready. Just not today.

"Chunk, I think I need to go home," I say quietly. "I really, really want to have this conversation with you. But right now, I need to go home."

My parents. Benjamin. Taylor. They're still worried sick about me. They have no idea where I am. I have to go back and face them. I'd rather stay here in the van forever and ever, but I've got to find the courage to do what's right. Somehow.

Chunk smiles warmly at me, his hand still in mine. "Sure thing, Ashleigh. I'll take you straight there."

He goes to move his hand away but I clutch hold of it, pinning it in place under my fingers. "I'm so sorry. I honestly never meant to hurt you. I know you could see exactly what was going on. You tried to warn me and I just wouldn't listen."

"Hey, it's OK," Chunk answers. "You really liked him and I didn't want to interfere too much and upset you." He smiles again, but this time it's tinged with a soft kind of sadness. "I just want you to be happy, Ash."

I know that he means it. This is the boy who put his own feelings aside to make me smile. Who gave me Jaxon's number when I begged for it in his shop, even though I'd just broken his heart.

This is the boy who juggled vegetables for me. Who would willingly drop everything to come and help me.

This is what real love looks like. Not the picture-perfect, glossy illusion with tattoos and a lip-ring. Real, genuine, unconditional love.

He pulls away gently and takes hold of the steering wheel. "You ready to go?"

I don't know if I am. Because the minute I go home, I have to face up to all of this. I have to relive every moment, not just of Jaxon's behaviour but my own as well.

They told me so. My entire family all told me so. And now they'll know they were very, very right. About everything.

But somehow, with Chunk beside me, I'm able to push through the nerves and the guilt. I look at his sweet, familiar face and I nod. Then we start the drive back to Westerfield.

I want to go back to being myself again. The real Ashleigh Apple. I want to rebuild my life and fix everything I've broken, one little piece at a time.

So home seems like the best place to start.