AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Today's picture is pizza! Mmm, hope you're enjoying it Ash. You may as well make the most of it while you can :S

Just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who has been reading my side-story of Taylor/Benji flash fiction, hope you're all enjoying it :D

Let me know what you think of today's chappy, big hugs!!

Becky xx

***

Chapter 18

B-Words

"Madam, may I get you something to drink?"

A waiter with perfect hair and a spotless uniform is hovering over the table where I'm sitting with Jaxon. We've decided to grab some lunch in a posh Italian restaurant along the high street. It's the kind of place with fancy lampshades where people actually call you "Madam".

"I'll just have water please," I answer politely.

"Water?!" Jaxon repeats incredulously. "Surely you want something a little stronger than that?"

I laugh awkwardly as the waiter passes me a wine list. "Erm thanks, but I can't. I'm working tonight."

Jaxon reaches over the table and grabs the wine list off me. He points to the choice at the top of the paper. "We'll have the house red, please. One bottle."

The waiter nods and disappears to the other side of the room. Obviously he only cares about making a sale, not about my impending work schedule. Jaxon catches the nervous look on my face and laughs out loud. "Oh come on Minx, one glass isn't going to hurt. Your family won't even notice."

"I know, I know," I say, trying to sound like I don't care as much as I do. "It's just they can be a bit funny about drinking on the job. And I'm trying to go a bit easy on the old purse strings..."

I hate bringing up money. I really don't want Jaxon to think that I'm stingy, or worse, poor. But the truth is that I am getting a bit skint. All these train rides and nights out are adding up. Plus the new outfit I just bought wasn't exactly cheap, despite the fact it's just a single scrap of material.

I mean, not that I regret buying it. Anything that makes Jaxon happy is totally worth it. But I really have to keep an eye on the spending from now on. Working behind a bar doesn't exactly leave me rolling in disposable income every month.

Jaxon grins at me, making my heart race. "Don't worry, I've got it covered."

I smile shyly in response, savouring the burning connection which is pulsing between us. I can hardly believe that we shared such an intense moment just now in the shop's changing room. Jaxon touched me in a way I've never been touched by anyone before. And now I feel closer to him than ever.

Then there was what he said outside the curtain. Was I just dreaming? Or did he really give me that special label I've been craving since I first laid eyes on him?

"Jaxon..." I can't stop myself. I have to say something. It's falling out of me before I have a chance to catch it. "I heard what you said to the shop assistant earlier."

He raises an eyebrow at me. Does he remember? Or is he challenging me to bring it up first? I take a shaky breath and just say it.

"You called me your girlfriend. Does that mean..." I take another hitched breath, willing the words out. "Are we official now?"

For endless seconds, Jaxon just looks at me, his eyes burning and his mouth a straight line. I can't tell what he's thinking at all. I feel my palms begin to sweat and I clench them to my lap underneath the table. Have I just said the wrong thing? Maybe I've misread the situation completely, just like I did with Kieran. Oh God. Why do I keep making the same mistakes over and over?

Finally, as I'm beginning to lose all hope, Jaxon's mouth curls into a smile. "Do you want to be official?"

"Y-yes!" I stammer back instantly. "Of course I do!" My heart is banging like the world's loudest drum. I have to calm down. "I mean... Do you want to?"

Jaxon holds his hand out over the table. Tentatively, I reach out for it, hoping with all my might that my skin doesn't feel gross and sweaty anymore. He curls his fingers around mine as we touch. "I would be honoured to be your boyfriend, Ashleigh Apple. Officially."

The words hit me full-force, one after the other. Honoured. Boyfriend. Officially.

This is actually happening. It's not a dream or a fantasy. It's not something that I've imagined in my mind. It's not silly little Ash getting carried away yet again.

It's the guy of my absolute dreams, holding my hand and asking to be in a relationship with me.

"I...I..." Tears spring to my eyes as I search for the right response. "I would love that, Jaxon. I would absolutely love that."

"Great," he grins, squeezing my hand tighter. "Looks like I've just got myself a girlfriend."

I'm biting down hard on the inside of my cheeks to stop myself from screaming with joy. I am someone's girlfriend. I am JAXON STARK'S girlfriend.

This is quite possibly the greatest thing that has ever happened in my boring little existence. It feels like the start of a brand new life. One I simply cannot wait to begin living.

---

For the next hour, I am in a state of absolute bliss. Jaxon orders us a feast of delicious food including an antipasti meat platter, two ginormous pizzas and bowls of lavishly decorated gelato for dessert. It's all so yummy, but the yummiest thing of all is Jaxon's gorgeous face grinning opposite me. My boyfriend's face.

My boyfriend. My boyfriend. MY BOYFRIEND! Wow. I just want to say that as often as humanly possible from now on.

Best of all, we get to talk. We aren't in a dark nightclub or cinema. We're face-to-face and for the first time we can simply share stories, our words freely flowing back and forth. Music and TV and all our favourite things. I make a mental note of everything Jaxon likes from the obscure rock bands to his Game Of Thrones obsession. I want to immerse myself in his world. I want to know everything.

Then there are his stories. The time he and Chunk got detention for a week after pulling the fire alarm before a class exam. The time he posed for the front cover of an indie tattoo magazine. The first day he started at Red Wolf Studios after fighting tooth and nail for the job. It's so inspiring to hear how passionate he is about his work. I wish I had anything interesting to tell him about in return, but all my anecdotes pale in comparison to his.

But hey, I don't mind. I'd happily listen to Jaxon forever. His words are positively spellbinding.

I finish the last spoonful of ice cream and dab my face with a napkin. "That was SO delicious."

"Yeah, this place is great," Jaxon answers. "Perfect for a first dinner."

Something about that sentence makes me squirm in my seat. I wonder how many other girls he has taken here for dinner. Probably loads. And they probably all had way better conversation than me and ate a lot less too. I push the thought from my mind. Jaxon is my boyfriend now so it shouldn't matter about the past.

Still, I can't help but linger on my jealousy. OK, stop being stupid Ash. Be proactive instead.

"Can I put our relationship on Facebook?" I blurt out. "Or... is it too soon?"

Jaxon is shaking his head, but I think I can detect the tiniest hint of a smile. Or at least I hope I can. "Seriously? It's been like an hour and you already want to share it with a bunch of strangers on the internet?"

"They're not strangers," I mumble, looking down at my empty bowl. "They're my friends. And I just want to share the news with them all." I glance up at him hesitantly. "Sorry, I know how you feel about Facebook. It's just that I want to show you off to everyone, I can't help it."

He stares at me for a long while, then gives a defeated sigh. "OK, sure. Knock yourself out."

"Really?!" I squeak, elatedly. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I snatch at my bag for my phone, eager to update the world on this earth-shaking new development.

As I'm writing my status, the waiter sweeps over to clear our empty dishes. "Any teas or coffees?"

"Just the bill please," I answer with a beaming smile. I'm so stuffed that I couldn't eat or drink another thing.

"Are you sure you don't want anything else?" Jaxon asks me. "I told you, Minx, I've got it covered."

I finish writing my news and place my phone down on the table, blushing slightly. "Jaxon, you don't have to do that. We can split it down the middle."

"You're worth it," he says, taking my hand again. "You deserve to be spoiled for once."

Now I'm really blushing. I probably look redder than a strawberry, but I can't help it. I feel like the most special girl in the whole room. In the whole, entire world!

My phone starts buzzing on the table and I can't resist checking it with my free hand. Jaxon looks at me questioningly. "Facebook comments already?"

"It's Annabelle," I say, grinning at her automatic response of shocked emojis and tiny hearts. "Ooh and Chunk has liked it too!"

I feel a warm happiness spread over me at Chunk's approval. I know this whole thing has been a bit weird for him. Jaxon is his best mate after all. But I'm glad he's finally come round and is being supportive.

"You're Facebook friends with Chunky-Monky?" Jaxon queries. "I should have known he'd be sticking his nose in from the word go."

"Hey, he's not sticking his nose in," I counter at once. "We're friends! He's happy for us!"

It's always hard to tell whether Jaxon is joking or not. Sometimes I'm certain he means one thing when actually he means the total opposite. I hope he's joking right now. I'm sure he is.

"Yeah, yeah, good old Chunk," he continues sarcastically. "Always wants the things I've got. The little sod."

OK, if this is a joke then it's not very funny. I know from experience how hard it is seeing other people in relationships when you're single. It sucks being the odd one out. But even if Chunk did feel the tiniest bit jealous then he would never let it show. He's way too nice to do something like that.

"Don't be ridiculous Jaxon! He's just being supportive, why are you so down on him?"

Jaxon shrugs. "Don't get me wrong, we're friends. He's like a brother to me. But you know, he can be kind of a drag too. At school, he was always trying to be like me, copy my hairstyles and my clothes and my music tastes. I just wish he'd get a fucking life of his own and butt out of mine."

Things are starting to make more sense in my mind. Chunk mentioned that he was picked on at school and that Jaxon was the one person to stand up for him back them. I guess he always wanted to be more like him. And that's bound to put some kind of pressure on their friendship.

"Imitation is the best form of flattery," I say helpfully. "I'm sure he meant it in a good way because he looks up to you."

"Maybe," Jaxon answers. "Or more likely it's just jealousy. Let's face it, there's not a lot going on for him right now, whereas I've got my career and loads of other mates and now you too. He better not try and ruin it for me somehow."

I really don't understand where all this is coming from. "What do you mean ruin it? Have you two had a fight I don't know about or something?"

Now I think about it, Chunk has been very down on Jaxon from the word go. I feel like there's something between them that I'm missing here. Boys are so weird. Why do they never just talk about it when things go wrong?

"Nah, there's no fight," Jaxon says. "We're cool. But don't go believing any of his little stories about me. He'll say anything to try and make me look bad. It would almost be funny if it wasn't so sad."

Now I am more confused than ever. Stories? Making Jaxon look bad? What the hell is he talking about? That doesn't sound like Chunk at all. I open my mouth, about to ask all the questions tumbling around my brain, when the waiter appears out of nowhere with a slip of paper.

"Your bill," he declares, placing it under our noses. I spot that the number at the bottom is triple figures and gasp out loud.

"Oh gosh, Jaxon, this is too much! Are you positive you don't want me to pay something towards it?"

The amount of food we were ordering totally ran away with me. Plus there was the wine, which I shouldn't have even been drinking in the first place. I feel so guilty.

"I told you, it's fine," Jaxon grins, reaching into his pocket "I'll just put it on plastic."

His hand rummages inside the pocket of his leather jacket. Then he moves to the back pocket of jeans. After a few more seconds, he returns to the jacket, checking every visible crevice and zip. I watch in stunned silence as his face begins to fall. "Shit. I have some bad news."

My eyes widen in horror. "Please don't say what I think you're about to say..."

"I forgot my wallet."

I bury my head in my hands. "OK, you said it. You actually said it."

Jaxon keeps searching every fraction of his clothing, his face scrunched up in frustration. "I can't believe this. I swore I picked it up before I left this morning." He gives up hunting and sighs. "I must have left it at my mates. Sorry Ash, my head is all over the place at the moment."

He looks genuinely apologetic, and I know it's just a mistake, but a tiny part of me feels kind of annoyed. This isn't the first time he's forgotten his wallet. He did the same thing when we were at the bar in The Fishtank too.

"How does this keep on happening to you?" I groan. "Don't you check for all the important stuff before you leave the house?"

"Look, I thought I had it," Jaxon snaps back. "I haven't needed to use it until now."

I sink lower and lower into my own hands, feeling dread washing over me. The bill is burning a hole into the table. I wince as I stare at those three little numbers. "How are we going to pay for all this?!"

"We could do a runner?" Jaxon suggests. His wolf-grin is wide and mischievous. "You pretend to go take a call outside then I'll follow you and we'll leg it."

My jaw drops wide open. "NO WAY. I'm not doing that!"

"Come on Minx, I thought you were my partner in crime?"

"No, no, no," I repeat, shaking my head. "Stealing a drink is one thing, but I'm not stealing a whole dinner. That's just wrong."

Jaxon doesn't say anything. He simply looks at me like I'm the lamest girl in the world. I'm starting to wonder if maybe I am. But I just can't leave without paying. Not even for him.

"I'd be furious if someone skipped a bill at the pub," I say emphatically. "I know it's just one dinner, but it can make a huge impact on a business. My parents put so much into their work and it's really disrespectful to..."

"OK, jeez," Jaxon suddenly interrupts. "We're not talking about your little business here Ash, we're talking about a big corporate restaurant who practically rob their customers with how much they overcharge." He gives an over-the-top shrug of his shoulders. "But hey it's your conscience, not mine. If you're that bothered then you pay for it."

I glance down guiltily at the bill. The supremely expensive, wish-I'd-never-ordered-so-much, taunting-me-evilly bill. "I... I don't know if I can..."

I've already spent so much today what with the train fare up and all the new clothes. My bank balance is getting dangerously low. I can't even justify paying for half of this meal, let alone all of it.

"I'll pay you back," Jaxon insists. "Don't you trust me or something?"

"Of course I do!" I exclaim. "It's just that I wasn't really expecting to pay out so much money today. It wasn't in the plan..."

Jaxon gives a scoff of disbelief. "Oh, but you were more than happy to tuck into endless plates of food when I was paying? What am I, just a free meal ticket?"

His words leap across the table and slap me in the face. "What?! No, of course not!"

"Well that's what it's starting to sound like," he continues. "I didn't think you were materialistic like this, but maybe I've had you all wrong."

What on earth is happening? Jaxon is the one who forgot his card and got us into this mess, but now he's angry with me? What did I say? What did I do?!

"Jaxon, I'm not like that! I never even asked for you to pay in the first place so it's hardly like I'm just trying to get free stuff."

"Good," Jaxon replies curtly. "Then you'll be cool with paying right? "

I'm so confused. He kept telling me to order whatever I wanted. Was that wrong? Have I just failed some kind of test? The last thing I want is for him to think I'm a gold-digger.

"I... I guess so." I reluctantly reach into my handbag for my purse. "But you can pay me straight back right?"

"Ash, I've got a lot on my mind right now," Jaxon answers in a sharp tone. "In case you've forgotten, I'm technically homeless right now. So I'm sorry if I can't get your precious money to you the split second I get back. I've got to try and find a computer I can log into my bank with first."

Guilt spreads through my stomach, thicker than tar. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I know you've got loads to deal with right now, I'm not trying to make life difficult or anything. I swear." I pull my card out and place it pointedly on top of the bill. "Just pay it back whenever you can, there's no rush. Honestly."

Jaxon leans back in his seat, his tense posture softening. "Cool. I appreciate it."

I can't help but wonder if other girls in this position have tried to take him for a ride. He must earn fairly decent money as a senior tattooist. I have to show him that I'm not like that. I don't care about his money, I just care about him. I trust him and I want him to trust me just as much.

The waiter spots my card instantly and darts over to the table with a card machine. "Will you be taking the payment, Madam?"

I take one last look at the bill, wincing at the total. It doesn't even include the tip which I'm sure the man serving us will be thoroughly expecting.

"Yes," I force myself to say brightly. "Looks like this one's on me."

---

"So, you got any more comments on our big announcement?"

Jaxon and I are in a pretty little public park walking our dinners down. There are lush green trees and beautiful flowers, the sky is blue and he's holding my hand. This is a perfect moment.

Apart from the rock in my stomach at all the money I've just spent. I try to ignore it. I mean, who cares? It's just money, right? When you've got an amazing new boyfriend then nothing else matters.

"Sarah has left a congratulations," I say. "And Benji has left a wow face and told me he's not sure he's ready to come to terms with this yet."

I laugh at my idiot brother's shocked reaction, but Jaxon doesn't seem as amused. "Who the fuck is Benji?"

"My brother," I exclaim in surprise. "I thought I told you that?"

"Oh, did you?" he replies. "Well, good. I'd be way too jealous if some other guy was trying to snatch you away already."

There are benches lining the park's pathway and Jaxon pulls me onto the nearest one, scooping me up onto his lap and throwing his arms around me. I scream in excitement, dropping my bag of expensive clothes onto the ground. "Oh my God, Jaxon! No one is going to steal me away, are you kidding me?!"

He begins to kiss my neck. "How can I be sure? You're so gorgeous, I'm sure other boys will be lining up."

"No way!" I squeal. I decide not to mention the fact that no boy has EVER been interested in me or liked me as much as I liked them. This is all a very, very new experience.

Jaxon's kisses get more and more ferocious. He's still burrowed into my neck, then he moves to my lips. Every worry from the day melts away into nothing. I'm in heaven.

And then his hands gets a little too rough. One is moving up my thigh, hard and grasping, the other is creeping underneath my top the tiniest bit. Too much. Too fast. I pull sharply away from him. "Jaxon, we're in public! Maybe we should calm down a little..."

I'm looking around in embarrassment, checking that no one passing by watching us. Jaxon cools his touch, but still holds me firmly by my hips. "You're such a good little girl, aren't you. I'm your boyfriend now. Don't you want to do what boyfriends and girlfriends do?"

There is a hint of humour in his voice and I reflect it back with a nervous giggle. "Well yeah, but I thought we were going to take things slowly. Remember?"

He kisses me again. Softer. At a speed I can handle.

"You are beautiful agony Ashleigh Apple. But you're going to be worth the wait."

I blush at his words. They ring around my ears, drowning out any other emotion inside my body.

And then we keep kissing, slowly and sensually, until it's time for me to catch the train out of this crazy dream and back home to work.