song of the chapter: midnight city - m83

-

"Your first boyfriend, kiss and heartbreak was Jungkook?!" Hana accidentally shouts as we sit in the campus' cafeteria.

I place my hand on her mouth to shut her up, "Sure, let the whole campus know, Hana." I say sarcastically.

Hana shakes her head, "I'm sorry, it's just that he seemed so harmless and," she takes a bite out of her hamburger letting the crumbs fall to the tray, "he's Bree's boyfriend, isn't it weird?" she genuinely asks, but with her mouth full.

"Oh trust me, it is," I move my food with my tray, "I tried to act normal last night during dinner, but I couldn't."

Hana had met Jungkook during the morning, when Taehyung and Jimin dragged him along to our first class. I had managed to confirm that we had already met yesterday, and left it like that.

Hana's eyes suddenly widen behind me.

"What?" I ask her as I begin to turn to where she is watching.

My friend grabs me by my shoulder, turning me to her, "Jimin, and Taehyung are coming, and they have company."

Turning my head, I see my two friends walking towards us. Someone else was in tow, following them like a lost puppy.

Jungkook.

I chuckle and grab my tray, "Well, that's my cue to leave," grabbing my backpack I turn to Hana, "now if you'll excuse me–"

"Where are you going?" Jimin asks as they arrive at the table, watching me take my stuff.

My eyes find Jungkook behind Jimin and I speak, "I'm going to finish my lunch outside," automatically I start walking but a hand catches my wrist, "I said–"

"I heard you the first time," Taehyung replies, "but you are staying whether you like it or not."

"I have to go, Tae." I lie.

Taehyung furrows his eyebrows and crosses his arms on his chest, "Where?" he asks suspiciously.

I search my brain for the perfect excuse.

Turns out I come up with the worst one.

"To feed the cats that are around the campus!" I exclaim, letting a chuckle.

Jimin sighs and puts his arm on my shoulder, "Dae, you are allergic to cats."

I hear Jungkook snicker.

That little–

"I don't know what's gotten you like this, but we haven't seen you the whole day," Jimin replies, "and we miss you."

Nope, they do not know the situation with Jungkook.

Only Hana knows, and she's bad at keeping secrets.

I let out a sigh as I sit beside Hana. Jungkook settles beside Jimin and Taehyung who currently sit in front of us. Setting my tray on the table, I continue playing with my food. The silence takes over our table until Hana speaks.

"So, shouldn't we address the giant elephant in the room?" she speaks.

No.

I knew I shouldn't have told her a thing.

Taehyung smiles at her, "You cut your hair?"

Hana shakes her head in disagreement.

Please don't.

Jimin then takes a turn guessing, "You got your hair dyed?"

"Nope, Jungkook would you like to guess?" she turns to the boy who nods.

He looks like he's buffering, then he answers, "You have a new pet?"

Hana scoffs, "No you idiots! I finally have my own car," she takes out a pair of keys from her purse, "which means, I am driving us to a party tonight."

I shake my head, "Sorry, Han. I can't go, I have a late night shift at Gina's."

"You work at Gina's?" Jungkook asks, fixing his bangs that were obstructing his vision.

I mumble, "Yes."

He nods and turns to the boys, who are currently smirking.

What in the world?

"Should I tell her or–"

Jimin agrees, "Tell her, man."

Jungkook clears his throat before looking at me, "My dad is the new owner of Gina's, which means that I can convince him to let you off tonight." he smiles.

Really.

He had commented to me when we were together about his dad being a businessman. He had always said how he's rarely at home. He used to spend more time with his mother than with his own father.

Now, here we are two years later, and his dad owns my work place...

He thinks he can win points with me like this?

"Oh." I reply.

"Oh, that's all you're going to say?" Taehyung asks jokingly.

The only difference is that I don't take it as a joke.

"Yes, 'oh'," I say and then I burst, "how do you expect me to react when the one person who broke my heart and made me feel like a mess is sitting there trying to make everything better, when nothing will make me forget what he did?!" I storm out as I listen to them call my name.

But I don't care right now.

All I need to do is leave before things get worse.

-

My head rests against the wall, making me let out a sigh. I sit on the floor and watch the other students rush to their classes. I'm supposed to be in class, but I'm not in the mood.

A body sits next to mine.

I don't look at who it is.

I know by the feeling of leather against my arm that it's Jungkook.

"You should've stayed with them." I reply, looking at the lockers in front of us.

"You shouldn't have snapped at Taehyung like that," he responds, running a hand through his long dark hair, "he thinks that you hate him."

I'm sorry Tae. If only he knew what was going on and why I reacted like that.

I place my head on my knees. After a few minutes I rise my head.

Turning to him, I start watching his features. His jaw is more prominent, but his eyes still hold that innocence of that 17 year old boy who I met one summer. Still, I understand that he's now a man. He's grown up and he's changed. He's now in love with Bree.

I smile, "How can you look so different but similar at the same time?"

He furrows his eyebrows in confusion, "I don't understand."

"There's still some things that still remind me of how you used to be," I hear him chuckle, "but there are some new things."

"New things like what?" He questions.

We both haven't noticed how small of a distance from each other we have. I notice, I scoot a bit backwards which makes our distance larger.

My eyes find his hair, "You have longer hair now," then they take in his built body, "you've been going to the gym," I then look at his eyes, "oh and yeah, you're now dating my cousin."

"Dae, come on–"

"No, don't." I tell him as I stand up abruptly.

Jungkook sighs, looking up at me, "I didn't know Bree was your cousin."

"Well you sure do know since yesterday." I mumble.

I hear him take a deep breath, he places his hands on his face in frustration, "You really don't think that I regret what I did?"

I stay silent.

"Because I regret it every single day of my life, Dae." he lets out and his voice falters.

Anger boils through all my body, "Then why did you do it?" I ask.

Jungkook speaks, "I-" he cuts himself off. But then he dismisses the question with his next words.

"That's been my biggest regret in my life" he sighs, "I'm being serious, spidergirl."

Did he just say what I think he just said?

How I always dreamed of hearing that nickname, but in a different situation. Definitely not like this.

I have to go.

"Don't call me that ever again," I scold him, "did you hear me?"

"Dae–"

I shake my head and start walking to the entrance, ready to leave the premises. Tears start to fall out of my eyes.

"Never call me spidergirl, never speak of what we had," I say turning to him, the tears continue to fall, "from now on, I'm pretending that we never had a relationship and so should you."

And that's when I run out the entrance onto the parking lot and into my car. Closing the door, sitting on the driver's seat, gripping the steering wheel; that's when I let everything out, everything that I was holding in. As 'Midnight City' blasts from my radio, I start sobbing. All the tears, the sadness, the hurt and the pain. They are all falling out of my system like a waterfall into the abyss.